Morgan Sinclair
Sleep refused to grace me with its presence. My mind ran a million miles an hour, my legs still felt weirdly tingly, and my gunshot wound remained sore as all hell. I checked the bandage, peeling it back to reveal a bruised and already scabbing wound, not the relatively fresh bullet wound it should be. Just another thing to add to my spiral.
There's no way my parents- my entire family isn't my family. That was my biggest issue here. The whole vampire thing was definitely an issue but I didn't fully believe it, at least when it came to me. But my family are my family, they can't just not be. And how horrible would my supposed biological parents be, for one to hide me for 20 years, give me to random people, warp their minds, literally curse me, then leave. And the other... Be someone I had to be hid from for 20 years.
And a curse? Or several of them? Or were they spells? Maybe both?
So then witches exist. Of course, along with the celestials and vampires and probably werewolves, and mermaids, maybe even Santa and the Easter Bunny as well.
I'm not a vampire. I freely walk in the sun- I don't particularly like the sun because I burn quickly- fuck. Okay, so there's that but I see myself in mirrors. I've been to church and I didn't burst into flames or start screeching or something-.
The sound of the door opening cuts off my train of thought. I was expecting Chloe to enter, she came in about 10 minutes after I left the living room to take away the IV pole and the nearly empty special blood bag thing. Apparently there was only one of these existence and it was given to Dane as a in case of emergency type thing- it's supposed to be an antagonist to the spells and curses- God I sound insane. Instead Dane was at the door. "Hi." He said monotonously. "I wasn't sure if you'd be awake."
Dane. He's supposedly my brother? And Victoria's my sister?
"Yeah it's only-." I look over at the clock on the nightstand to my right. "4:32 am?" I didn't realize I've been up this long.
"Right." He stepped through the door completely and walked over to the small recliner chair in the corner of the room. He hesitantly sat down. "I'm sure you're confused about probably a lot right now."
"No, not at all."
He forces a chuckle to break through his anxious front. "You have to know all of this was not supposed to go this way. We were going to slowly introduce you to all of it, you transition while you went to school. You live your life and we just protect and help you."
"While I'm living with all of you."
"If you were living with humans, you'd be a danger to them." He says casually.
My face drops, "I would never hurt anyone."
"I'm not saying you would. You just haven't experienced... craving blood yet. Not just craving- needing, wanting. It's hard to control at first. It's easy to lose it and accidentally hurt someone."
I stare frozen, unsure what to do with that. I know I would never hurt anyone. I mean I apologize to people when they bump into me. Can't imagine I'd jump from that to draining people of blood.
Dane clears his throat. "I wanted to talk to you about Aurelia and what was done to you."
I close my eyes and clench my jaw for a brief couple of seconds. I guess we're gonna add more content for my mind to fuck itself up with. I open my eyes. "Okay. What did she do?"
"She told me that there's a handful of spells on you and two curses. They're wearing off as we speak but they're there. The spells were to do more minor things like fine tuning some stuff, glamouring your eye color so if it changes- no one, not even you can see it. There were a lot of spells to prevent anyone from using any kind of locator spell to find you. Um... also sunlight, you'd have the ability to walk in the sun but not that long- you might actually kind of hate the sun." He explained.
It was an ongoing joke with my family how easily I burned in the sun. "I do. I burn really easily I just thought that was because I'm Irish- well my parents are." My voice lowers exponentially. "I've seen you guys during the day though, Victoria and Chloe moved into the apartment midday." I say regaining some confidence in my voice.
"The parking garage was connected to the building and all our cars have tempered glass on them. Lets us at least drive for a little while during the day if absolutely needed."
"This house too then?" I glance over at the three huge windows spanning the wall in front of me that most definitely would fill this room with sunlight if their individual curtains aren't closed.
"Part of it. Chloe just bought it so it's still being renovated. This room, the office, and a few other rooms have regular windows so we can burn." He explains.
"Right... Why would I need to be hidden from locator spells? I thought Lucien doesn't know I exist."
"He's under the impression that Aurelia miscarried around five months in. But as a just in case she wanted to make sure you couldn't be found."
"Oh." I say trying to sort through my thoughts. "The two curses." I start, "you said there were two? What um... what do they do?" I ask terrified over what I was about to hear.
I see some hesitation in his eyes as he looks over my probably visibly worried face. He clears his throat, "One to diminish your strength, speed, any enhanced senses and emotions, and other somewhat physical aspects of being a vampire. Like your fangs. They're there but they can't come out. And the second was to stop you from healing properly, which is incredibly dangerous."
"I heal, just not as fast as you guys apparently."
"Yeah but the speed of your healing isn't the issue. Like us, you're practically invulnerable but the curse preventing your natural healing inadvertently made you vulnerable. So other mundane things can kill you. The hunters- had we not gotten to you in time, you'd be dead."
"I'm invulnerable?"
"Not at the moment. But us and the Fallen can't be killed by anything except a specific blade."
"What blade?"
"Each one of our parents has a dagger associated with them. Only that specific one can kill them and us." He says. "So if you tried to kill Kendrick using Luciens dagger, or me with Mila's dagger. It wouldn't work. Although with you, I guess you'd have Lucien or Aurelia's dagger. I'm not sure."
"Oh..." I murmured. "And my insulin?"
"A lie."
"To enhance the spells." I finish the thought trying to connect everything.
"No, they were a lessened physical presentation of the spells and curses to keep them all going, like maintenance, not to enhance. They also contained... blood." I frown. I feel disgusted, gross for having other peoples blood in me and not in a medical way like a blood transfusion, or something else. "Well not a lot. Not enough to really satiate you but enough to keep you existing." He added quickly, noticing my disgusted look.
"Why would the spells and whatever need to keep going if they were already put on me?" I change the subject not wanting to talk about or think of the whole blood thing any more because I swear I'd throw up.
"Because even though they're," he widens his eyes and stresses, "major curses and spells, and they'd last for a while on their own, you're a full blood. On your own without any upkeep you'd be able to break out of them by puberty. To ensure that they'd keep working until you were 20, the whole type 1 diabetic insulin cover was made. Easy way to ensure the upkeep without raising suspicions."
Another huge thing about me that's a lie.
"How would I just- break out of them?" I ask hearing the exhaustion in my own voice.
"Excluding the whole not aging thing- couldn't find a work around with that, those spells suppress or lessen almost all aspects of vampirism in you. Except literally every part of you is a vampire, they can't suppress your whole being forever."
How is it that I'm just... not human? Not even a little bit, apparently.
"What is this all going to feel like? Life without these curses, these spells. With them... It hasn't been that bad. I mean haven't felt to need to harm someone so I'd count that as a good time"
"They were taking away basic building blocks of what you are. I'd imagine it messes with you. Not having your senses, your strength, not knowing what your body needs? Feeling kind of sickly probably and god knows what other side effects. Not having as much blood you actually need would've definitely added to that but I don't know, It's not an exact science."
My cheeks drained of all color. I've experienced that and then some my whole life and as of late so much worse. "Why would she do this to me?"
He looked away for a second noting my probably ghostly white face, he met my stare again with such a sympathetic look. "She just wanted to protect you so you had to be under the radar. Human is under the radar. The thirst of a growing pure full blooded vampire surrounded by humans wouldn't end well and would draw a lot of attention."
"Leave me with another vampire or something." I suggest as if we can go back in time.
"She couldn't leave you with any vampire or witch or lycan she trusted because Lucien could find you there, he could get in their heads." He starts.
Lycan? Of course.
"Witches powerful enough," He continued, "can mess around with human minds but other supernatural creatures? No. So with a human family thinking they're raising a human child- If he did somehow find you through all of this, you'd present as a human. And if he looked in your families heads all he'd see is them simply adopting and raising a human child."
I stay quiet for a bit, verbally and mentally- at a loss for words and thoughts.
"Why would she ask you to do all of this? To... help me." I ask running with the first thought that popped into my mind.
"She knows how much I hate my father." He answers. "She couldn't step away from her obligations as a queen. So she enlisted me- someone who can understand what you're going through and understands that you can't be anywhere near Lucien."
"I get that he's a bad person but what would he do to me? I mean what would he do to his own child?"
A small caustic laugh escapes him. "I'm sorry." He says holding back his laugh and clearing his throat. "The whole reason he tried to have a baby- you, with Aurelia was because he saw how powerful the full blooded twins are. He wanted that. He wanted a perfect weapon to be used at his disposal."
"A weapon? No, I'm not. I wouldn't-."
"Oh don't worry he'd turn you into one." I turn my head to see Victoria standing in the doorway. "Sorry I couldn't help but overhear you talking about our lovely father." She continues.
Our.
"How could he turn me into a weapon?"
She enters the room, crossing her arms as she shakes her head. "Our sadistic cunt of a father has an interesting take on how to properly raise children."
"What's the take?"
"Mental and physical abuse-." I see Dane flash Victoria a look. "Fine, long story short, he has a reputation to uphold and as a child of the almighty King Lucien." She mocks, aggressively rolling her eyes. "You have to live up to his standards."
"King." I echo, widening my eyes a bit. What am I, a fucking princess?
"I thought Grayson mentioned all of that." Victoria says looking at Dane.
"He did. I wasn't going to discuss all of that. It's a little much for right now don't you think." He said through his teeth.
"What have you explained to her?" She motions to her head, "Yet?"
"Not yet. Not everything." He mumbles, glaring at her.
"Okay. Look, don't worry, we'll protect you from him." She says inexpressively without an ounce of comfort. "I'm going to go to bed. Good chat." She exits the room without another word.
Dane sits silently in the chair with a furrowed brow. He sucks his teeth and stares at the floor. "Vampires sleep?" I question, not going to touch anything else. Not that I don't want to, but because I'm not sure how much more I can take of hearing that every part of me and my life is a lie.
"It's not completely needed everyday but it's nice. It's something I'm going to do right now actually." He says standing up. "You should too. Relax for a bit."
"Yeah." I smile falsely.
He nods and smiles back. Dane walks out of the room and as soon as the door shuts behind him, tears begin welling in my eyes. I try to stop them, shove them back down. Nothing works. They just come out.
Growing up my bedroom was right next to my sister Lindseys and the walls were thin, so I've learned how to sob silently- It's honestly a talent. I lay down curling my legs up to my chest and do exactly that. Sob silently. I'm so fucking exhausted, physically and mentally. I wanna go to bed but I can't; as expected all my thoughts flooded in preventing me from being able to go to sleep.
Here's to hoping the crying will tire me out enough to knock out.