It took Jungkook a week to pack everything he owned and to find a place to stay. He decided to rent back his old apartment , and it all began to feel real.
Sunday morning he received a text message from the landlord, telling him, that the place was now ready to call a home for him. So he bid Seoul goodbye, and left to busan, in his old lonely apartment again.
When he reached busan, he felt the known feeling of belonging in the air, he was born here, he use to leave here before he came out and then shifted to Seoul with Taehyung.
For taehyung.
As he opened the door of his old room the impact was immediate. His CDs, DVDs, his sports magazines, his old guitar , novels . They were all gone.
But he knew the biggest impact would be his bedroom. His clothes were gone, the funny stripped socks, the colorful ties. And the bathroom sink now had more space without his perfumes, his after-shave and his razors.
Feeling the depression creep itself into his heart he just let it go. Watching as the tears of the rain began to fall outside he sat by the window, hugging his knees as he rested his head on it.
His eyes unfocused. He shed no tears, he didn't have any. Eyes were dry, and now his concrete walls took their time rebuilding themselves. He would be himself again, in time he knew he would. He would be back to his old life, his life before Taehyung but he knew it would take time and it would hurt a lot to undo the last six years he had spent with Taehyung.
It broke his heart into more pieces than he could count.
Jungkook blinked back tears, hiding his face in his palms. The tears dropped on his palms, smearing against his cheeks.
Jungkook sobbed, shoulders shaking, curled up in himself.
The more he thought about it, the more it haunted him that he really had broke up with Taehyung.
Jungkook started spending his night memorizing there old videos and selfies together just to rip them up in the wine to ease the bite of longing in the shattering of glass.
It took him two days to set his wardrobe and check the mails and messages he had received. The week when Taehyung and him had broke up, Jungkook was depressed and him himself locked in his room, yeri had helped him get out through it. She took care of what he ate and made sure he wasn't alone during his sufferings and he was thankful.
He had got a new phone with new number for certain know reason. In mornings he went to teach Instruments in one of the music college while at night he went in clubs to sing and then drink himself all night.
And like this he coped up with surviving his months. He did felt alone but it was way better then feeling lonely with being anyone. In these past months he did realised how much he had loved Taehyung and how difficult it was to unlove him.
And even then he thought of Taehyung's pain.
He might be going through the same things
But then he saw the news flashing on his Television showing how Taehyung was wrapped in the French guy's arms while receiving the award in some show.
Taehyung was moving on or may be was already moved on, Jungkook just scoffed shutting down the screen and going back to the screen.
It were these days that he was very close with yeri and had called the girl to come here in busan at his house to stay for her holidays.
She came by the afternoon and they had both enjoyed the day with drinking and visiting places in busan and then eating outside.
It was raining and so they both decided to go back home before it would make the weather worse.
As they reached home yeri had slept in the cab and so Jungkook had to hold her by waist and practically had to drag her to his house. He saw his friend drooling on his shoulder and he sighed look at her. She was too drunk now to wake her up or yell her for literally drooling on him.
He bent down to her thighs, pulling her up in his arms in bridal style.
He walked to door, scanning his key card to the metric lock. The door opened with a melody.
He walked in with yeri still in his arms, too tired to notice the lights and fan switched On.
He closed the door with his leg, and turned around only to see his dead looking past in front of him.
Jungkook stared coldly at Taehyung and Taehyung stared back with his puffy red eyes .
Jungkook could feel his own eyes gathering moisture with the memories. Presence of Taehyung there was almost like a dream.
Taehyung was finally in front of him after months, after the day he had left the younger on airport for that paris trip it was today that it was first time watching Taehyung from so close.
He tried not to roam his eyes all over his ex lover and check him. But he did, he couldn't stop himself.
His eyes took every bit of Taehyung as if they were hungery for his one view.
Jungkook felt multiple stabbings when he saw how much Taehyung had lost weight, he had no chubby belly, no bread cheeks and not even the shine in his eyes, that Jungkook lived for.
He looked pale, almost disappearing.
His mind protested to forget everything and hug the younger and give kisses on his face. But his heart supported him.
Yet he stood there with yeri in his arms without any word. Taehyung kept crying .
Jungkook gulped whe he saw Taehyung shivering as he started sobbing loudly.
He didn't understand how was Taehyung in first place inside his room, when did he came here all over to busan? Why was he even here for??
"K-kookie" Taehyung whimpered and Jungkook felt his knees week.
He was finally hearing Taehyung's voice.
Taehyung was here finally in front of him.
But he declined to show his emotions.
"She is sleeping, can you keep your voice little low? " He spoke when he wanted taehyung to keep calling him kookie.
Taehyung nodded.
"I'll tuck her in bed"
Jungkook without glancing walked to his room.
When he came back Taehyung was still at the same place where he left him.
And now that they we're just two, Jungkook noticed taehyung properly, the top he was wearing was crinkled at every edge, the jeans was filled with mud and was just hanging on his slim waist.
Taehyung’s hair were mess, Jungkook noticed when he looked up to his face. Those eyes we're puffed red and he just knew the male had cried himself all the way here.
His lips were smudged, lipstick stain clearly visible on them.
Taehyung looked like a mess, but yet beautiful and broken too.
"Why are you here?? " Jungkook asked.
Taehyung opened his mouth to speak but Jungkook's sentence stopped him from making conversation.
"Ohh ,are you here to get that money back? You didn't had to come here to my house, I would have just transferred them in your account. Never mind I'll sign the check" He completed, almost running back to his room but the he felt a tugg on his sleeve.
"Not money, I came here to take something of mine, Something I seem to not live without" Taehyung's voice was strained.
"And what is it, if it's not money? I don't understand" Jungkook said staring at the window full of stars.
"Won't you look at me? Do you hate me that much now? Well, I think I deserve it though" Taehyung laughed.
Jungkook removed taehyung's hand from his sleeve .
"We don't need to talk this stuff taehyung, we are done. We are o-over, and I don't know what difference it gonna make by bringing this stuff back. So tell me what you want and leave " Jungkook spoke.
"Water, Can I get a glass of water please? " Jungkook nodded and walked over to kitchen to get it.
When he came back taehyung was sitting on the couch. He sat in front of him keeping the glass on the wooden table.
"Are we too far gone to atleast try talking things out ?” Taehyung bite down on his lip, he gulped when he heard himself.
Jungkook laughed.
" You still think there are things between us to talk out? "
"Taehyung what are you here for? You did broke me well, it took me months to gain myself back, yet I cry myself to sleep every day. Please don't play any further. "
And now Jungkook could feel his tears down the cheeks. He knew he couldn't hold himself, any longer.
"I have missed you kook, and I'm not here to tell you to take me back, but I'm here to let you know that I'm sorry, that I'm so ashamed of doing that with you, I didn't realize I was breaking you when all I was trying to do was building myself up for our future" Taehyung stood up.
He walked in front of Jungkook and sat on his own knees. His palms resting on Jungkook's and Jungkook could feel the skin where Taehyung touched burning.
"I-just give me one chance to explain myself kook, just once please. I can't let us fall apart like this"
"Why are you doing this taehyung?" Jungkook asked.
"Call me selfish kook, but even I haven't learnt to live my life without you Jungkook. I don't know how to live without you. I don't know"
" So I can't let myself loose my life"
Jungkook stood up holding taehyung by his shoulders and pulling him on his knees.
He could feel the soft skin underneath him, how much he had missed the warmth.
"Weren't you the one to abandon me alone??? Weren't you the one to lie to me and go on dates with that guy, taehyung????? If I'm no wrong it was you Kim Taehyung to tell me you didn't wanted me in your life as you had people who loved you better. "
"Taehyung you seriously don't get to say all this stuff now when you left me, when you made me feel miserable here, when you made me beg you to call me once or text me. When you compared my fucking love to the money you were earning tae"
Jungkook shivered at the intensity while taehyung held him by his waist.
He knew he deserved it, he deserved it all. So he stood there letting Jungkook vomit all his emotions he had pressed down.
Jungkook hicupped , his throat hurting by the yelling.
"You can't understand what I felt when you were gone Tae, you can't feel , what I felt, I kept waiting for calls, for your messages, I cried for holding you in arms all day while you let somebody else do that behind me. "
"I don't really think we got any thing to sort out now Tae, I can't bring myself to give you my heart when what you all did was walked over it"
"Please, Please leave. You are hurting me" Jungkook moved back hastily turning back to go back in room.
Taehyung walked past Jungkook stopping him from leaving the hall.
"I know, I know I did bad to you, but I suffered what you suffered too. Not as bad as you but I did. I did cried when you broke up, I did mourned when I felt you leaving me all alone kook. I waited for you to message me too kook, I kept staring at the phone for all day and night. Even I thought of things that made me die over again and again.".
"I cried too thinking you might be crying alone, I cried too thinking you might get someone new in your life kook, I felt burning my existence out when I saw you walk into the house carrying a woman in your arms kookie"
Taehyung cried.
"Didn't you miss me? Did you forgot the six years we spent together??? Did you forget that I fucking can't live without you. How the hell you decided to break us apart Jungkook??? ".
" I was wrong I know, but who gave you permission to take decisions for two of us???? "
Taehyung now cupped jungkook's cheeks.
"You broke up kook, I didn't, you are still my boyfriend, you are still the one whom I love baby—"
"Stop it tae, don't say it"
"I love you Jungkook, I still do. "
"You Don't love me tae, you are just used to loving me for past 6 years. People who love, don't hurt them tae. You did that. You can't love me" Jungkook said wrapping his arms around taehyung's waist.
"Don't believe me if you don't want to kook, but it won't change my love for you"
Taehyung rested his head on jungkook's chest , letting the cloth soak all his tears.
"Why did you hurt me like that tae? Why did you made me go through those scary days? "
"Will you believe me? "
Jungkook caressed his hair, and rested his cheeks on taehyung's head.
"You know I will. I always will"
"When I went there, it was true that I had to come back in three days, but I had to stay because I kept getting shows. That was the real reason kook. I swear I wanted to come to you. But then as the days passed I realised I had signed a contract to some company for 1 year without reading them and so I had to stay back there"
Taehyung sobbed.
"I was so scared kook, But I didn't wanted to tell you this and hurt you more, it was the same day, when I got to know you had lost the job in school and you had to take guitar classes to live by the expenses. So I-I thought if I could stay there a bit more and could earn some money, we both could live happily once I was back"
"I didn't wanted to Burden you kook. I knew you were going through a lot, I just wanted to be some help to you. But then slowly I started to feel insecure and homesick and that's where all went wrong" Taehyung sobbed and Jungkook wrapped his hand tighter.
"Shuhh it's fine tae, you don't need to say anything further it's fine. Really"
"You went through lot , you don't need to remember it all again"
"No kook, you deserve answers. "
"Only if you are okay "
"I am, I am okay now that I'm with you"
Jungkook nodded.
"I started to miss you, and when I saw people around me breaking up cuz of distance, and when I heard of people telling me that we won't last, it really hit me. I was scared kook. I ignored calling you, cuz I was scared you would break up with me on the call and would never want to meet me again"
You can't fucking break up with me Jungkook, not on the damn call"
And now Jungkook remembered taehyung's words.
"It's true that I was hanging out with Daniel, but that was cuz he knew about us, he knew about what I was feeling, his like a brother to me kook, he did proposed me but I had rejected it and since then he never said anything again. "
"I know this all misunderstandings were cuz of my stupid insecurities and fears, but kook I lost my mind when you called me telling I had things going on with Daniel, I could feel you being hurt cuz of me. I could feel things changing in us and my dumb ass decided to ignore your calls and messages just so to not give you any reasons to break up with me"
"But it was too late when I realised, that I gave you all the reasons to not to be with me and break us up"
Taehyung completed, if it wasn't Jungkook's hand on his waist supporting him he would have met with the marbles,His legs felt trembling.
"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, I-I didn't realised you were going through all this tae, fuck I'm so sorry"
"I was so busy with thinking about myself, that I forgot to think about you bear"
Taehyung looked up to Jungkook wrapping his arms around Jungkook's neck and nuzzling his head in his neck crook.
"You need to distance yourself from your loved once so that you understand how much really important they are to you. You need to be apart from them for sometime to be a part of them in future"
"We did that, and now I know, how much I love you kook. Everything in this world would be given to me and I'll yet want to come back to you baby"
"You are my home kook, you are my safe place. And I Don't want to leave this life if it have no You in it. So please kook forgive me. And take me back. Please. "
"Shuu bear, don't cry. I'm sorry too. I'm at fault too. I'm sorry for not understanding you, for not being there when you needed me the most. I'm sorry. "
Jungkook sobbed, his heart melting watching taehyung's misery.
"I can't imagine how scary it might have been for you love."
Taehyung looked up with teary eyes as he leaned forward pressing his lips on Jungkook's. He could feel the salty tears mixed in them. He could feel the despiration, the wait, the love and care ,everything he had missed for so many months.
He felt Jungkook sucking on his bottom lip and he felt his life coming back to him.
" I hope you know that, I'm not leaving you again Taehyung. Even if you want to you can" Jungkook said kissing his forehead.
"And if you leave me, I'll beat the shit out of your ass jeon" Jungkook nodded.
"Who is the woman tho? And why was she in your arms? Why we're you holding her like that? And why is she in your arms kook? " Taehyung asked with straight face.
"Well ,I got a new girlfriend, I realised I was straight" Jungkook said.
Taehyung rolled his eyes pinching Jungkook's nipples.
"You are anything but straight Kook"
Jungkook laughed again.
"She is really close friend of mine tae, she is like Daniel to me" Jungkook mumbled and taehyung's eyes sparkled.
"I'm thankful of her, I'm happy that she was with you in my absence"
He hugged Jungkook back.
"I have missed you kook, I missed this warmth. I felt cold when You weren't there with me. I love you"
"I love you too tae and I missed you too alot then my words would say. "
"Let's not fight again like this, and let's try to understand each other better"
"And when you'll come back, we can move to seoul again okay? "
Taehyung looked up to Jungkook furrowing his brows.
"What do you mean? I'm not going back . I left everything and I came here. Daniel said he'll see the company. And I can always get jobs here, so I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying with you"
Jungkook smooched youngers lips as he said.
"Ahh kim Taehyung, you drive me crazy. I love you so much bear"
"I love myself too baby" Taehyung giggled.
"Brat"
"You love this brat tho" They laughed.
"Hell yes I do."
______________________________________
So, initially I had decided to end it with the sad ending but then I thought, may be it was important to know both the sides of a break up.
Many of times we do considering a side and a firm opinion behind it, but we do forget to see the other side, may be the other side might be wrong for you, but it will be always correct for the person who is going thru it.
The second part of this chapter was a true Incident I went through. Not with love relation, but with parental one. But mine wasn't a happy ending. So here's taekook making it.
I hope we all always try to understand the both side equally before taking a harsh Decisions over it.
It raining, Stay healthy and eat hood food.
You guys are beautiful, and are loved.
Sleep well y'all.
I love you guys. 💜
I hope you all like it!!
Do let me know ur views.