*Nineball and Constance playing videogame in their room for 36 hours straight without any sleep*
Tammy: *worries for them, walks downstairs and announces* whoever makes Nineball and Constance fall asleep in next five minutes will win 100 dollars
Lou: *holding a cricket bat* Got it. Where are they?
***
*At 4th of July celebration, somewhere in New York*
Lou: Honestly, I hate it when people don't stand when the National Anthem is being played. I mean, it's such a disrespect to the greatest country in this world. People really are getting detached from their patriotism. Personally, I always get excited and get a boost in my confidence whenever I hear that song. I love it. I'm going to play it now. Stand up y'all
Everyone: *stands in position, fearing Lou might yell at them if they don't stand for national anthem*
Lou: *plays the song and sings along* 🎶Australians all let us rejoice...🎶
***
*Team travelling somewhere in Europe, about to book train tickets. Daphne volunteers to stand in line and book for all*
*5 minutes pass by*
Lou: *on phone* Daphne, are you done? How long do we have to wait?
Daphne: I'm trying, Lou. The screen is asking me to select the language
Lou: okay, hurry up
Daphne: I'm trying
Lou: what's there to try?
Daphne: it's confusing. I see a white, blue and red strip and a word in front of it that vaguely looks like the word Francais
Lou: *sighing* yeah well, that's french and it's pronounced Français
Daphne: And I see a black, red and yellow strips...
Lou: that's German flag and it's for german language. Just fucking hurry up Daphne
Daphne: I am. I am trying. I just... I am not finding American here. There is no US flag
Lou: *face palm* there is no American language, Daphne
Daphne: yeah, that's what I am saying. There's no option for American here
Lou: *sighing* Daphne, there is no American language at all. It's English. Choose Union Jack.
Daphne: Union what? And no American language in Europe? That's injustice. This machine is ridiculous. It doesn't have option for American. This is so discriminative. This needs to be cancelled. How can they not have option to choose American? The language of the greatest and the most powerful country! We need to protest against this injusti...
Lou: *cuts the call*
***
*Debbie walks in to see Lou standing on the table, perplexed*
Debbie: What are you doing?
Lou: Excuse me, I own this place and live here. I can stand wherever the fuck I want to stand, and nobody can fucking question me, thank you very much!
Debbie: *smirking* where's the spider?
Lou: it's under the table. Please take it away from here please please please
***
Debbie: parole officer told me to stay safe because there's a serial killer out there targeting middle-aged brunettes
Lou: *concerned* but baby why would anyone wants to harm you?
Tammy: maybe because they met her?
*Pause*
Tammy: oops, did I say that loud?
***
Constance: if i punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
Amita: you're strong
Nine: you're weak
Lou: *not looking up from her newspaper* you're stupid
***
Tammy: *annoyed* what are you, 12?
Debbie: *smirking* yup. On a scale of 1 to 10, i am a 12
***
Tammy: I didn't think you would do this, Debbie! You promised you wouldn't tell
Debbie: well, Hitler promised he wouldn't invade Czechoslovakia. So, welcome to the real world, Tammy
***
*Daphne to others*
Daphne: I was looking at the mirror and I kinda felt unattractive. Can you guys cheer me up by complimenting me?
Everyone:
Lou: you have great eyesight, Daphne
***
Daphne: there's only one me. God stopped making people like me. I'm the last of my kind
Lou: thank God.
***
*Daphne walks into the living room and stands in front of Rose*
Daphne: I'm going to take shower. Wanna help me? *Winks*
Rose: sure darling
*Both walk to their room, giggling while Lou looks at them from kitchen*
*Later, in Lou and Debbie's room*
Lou: I'm gonna hop in the shower. Wanna help me? *Tries and fails at winking*
Debbie: why do you need my help? Have you never taken a shower before?
***
Rose: so, if there are 7 chairs and 10 people. What would you do?
Nine: have everyone stand
Amita: add 3 more chairs
Constance: remove all chairs
Lou: kill 3 people
***
*Lou writing a letter*
Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty this year... AND IT WAS WORTH IT! SO, SUCK IT, YOU FAT JUDGEMENTAL BASTARD
***
Debbie: well, you're stupid
Lou: and you are dumb
Debbie, yeah? Well I don't like your hair
Lou: *gasps in shock*
Tammy: *standing 3 miles away and watching, with others* OMG! She went there!
***
Debbie: let's just agree to say sorry on the count of three
Lou: okay
Debbie: one... Two... Three
Debbie:
Lou:
Debbie:
Lou:
Debbie: now I'm disappointed in both of us!
***
Constance: hey Lou, advice needed. I'm seeing this guy and I feel like taking things a bit further. You know, have sex with him. So... How do I... Flirt and hint him?
Lou: well... Lip-biting is a classic. It'll hint him for sure. Bite one side of the lower lip with upper teeth
Constance: yo thanks
*Later*
Constance: *bites lips, hard*
Boy: *muffled* why are you biting my lips?
***
Tammy: I swear to god! I am the only one here with a brain cell
Constance: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF SACRED BRAIN CELL
Tammy: wha-
Nine: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF SACRED BRAIN CELL
Daphne: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF SACRED BRAIN CELL
Tammy: what are you... Lou, help
Lou: *smirking* ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF SACRED BRAIN CELL
Tammy: what the fuck! You too? Stop it or I'll call Debbie. Debbie, look what Lou is doing here. She is-
Debbie: *evil grin* ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF SACRED BRAIN CELL
***
Constance: the risk I took was carefully calculated
Amita: WE ALMOST DIED!
Constance: well in my defence, my math isn't good
***
Constance: coffee is just bean water
Nine: tea is just leaf water
Tammy: so all drinks are just modified water
Lou: what about milk?
***
Lou: *praising Debbie* Debbie is an angel that fell from heaven
Tammy: *muttering* so was Lucifer
***
Debbie: what are you doing?
Lou: writing my to-do list
Debbie: *reads the list* it only has my name written... Oh, you sap
***