i didn't choose you
i just took one look at you
and then, there was no turning back
/
Kuafah
Have you ever felt like using your entire lifespan to climb the Himalayas only to meet the same person? I have always felt that way. I used up almost 30 years of my life with the only goal which is to take care of my younger brother and it is one of my favorite thing to do. But now, it has been taken over.
Daonuea finally have a boyfriend.
But the same person that I have mentioned, is not a human being. I meant by a huge feeling that it made me felt as if I don't want to love someone or more like have a real destination in life. The more I think about it, my whole life might be about climbing up to the Himalayas mountain and wanting to see that same person which it does not even exist.
The more I say the more confusing it is
The more I explain the more I don't understand
Sometimes you just have to use body language
or even love language.
I always have the mindset of thinking that whatever that is related to the word love, It will always be chaotic. For example, I love daonuea. I cared nong so much that all the chaotic problem follow everyday as daonuea grows. The more we love the more we wants to take ownership even though we never have the rights of taking ownership of anything including myself.
The more you love the more you use emotions
The more you love the more unreasonable you become
the more you will get hurt
That's where I decide not to love and get myself involve with as many girls just to make my day better. But it does not include my love with my family, I love daonuea a lot that's for sure. Love my friends, Love of having personal space and myself. I am one the people who knows how to separate the word sex and love. Because for a male, I felt like we can't exclude sex out of our life easily unlike the word love.
As I grow, I always understand that we human have to carry a lot of heavy weight such as our work life, our bond, people that are coming into our life, people who is leaving us and people who do not have that chance to appear. We have to prepare to face a bad day by not mixing up with those good days. As for now, I am dealing with a bad day.
I'm having a car accident
No one is dead
I'm not drunk
But I drank
"haiizzz when are we going to reach?"
Once the police reached, I have to sit at the police station with my drunkards face and the positive result saying that I did drink on that day and it exceeded the law that they set on limitation of how much I should drink in order to drive. But everyone...including the society. I wasn't drunk, I managed to carry all of my friends up to the car, drive up the highway and got banged even though I am driving at my own lane. It looks like the other car were fighting throughout the ride and were snatching for steering wheel.
I'm trying my best to think towards the positive side. At least, Mesa, JJ and I we are all alive safe and sound. I have insurance covered, all the money that I have wasted on these and that does not affect me at all. But the worse that happened was we got sent to do community service. Life as a doctor does not even have time to sleep like me, where do I even have the time to do community service.
But wait a minute, things are about to get worsen but then...
"A'Fah! I can't take it anymore, this hilltop is so steep. If I roll down and die, please delete the porn history in my computer"
"(panting) I'm so tired, P'krab are we close yet?"
"(in northern dialect) we are reaching in 10 more minutes"
Yes I'm a doctor
Yes my stepfather is an ambassador
Yes we can't have any black record in our profile as it is going to make us lose our job
Yes we are now walking up the mountain
Yes we are lucky that we get to serve our community service at the omgoi district (อำเภออมก๋อย) at chiangmai
Yes I got suspended temporary from my job just to come here and serve voluntary work as a doctor.
"My shirt is all soaked, my bags are heavy as well"
"A'Sa you whine like a gay"
"A'Fah wait for us. Why are you moving so fast?"
Yes I am Kuafah pitak chetphonkun
Yes I am daonuea older brother
I got used to the unluckiness that I have often face. And also got used to the luckiness that is inside the unluckiness, but this time the merit that I got should have been finished. This mountain is like the cliff in Tibet. Plus, before the day that we got here, it rained really heavily. The only thing that are able to bring us up there is motorbike. But of course, as for Mesa, JJ and me. It will always be unlucky
The Motorbike are only able to reach us at certain area, we have to walk up the hilltop that I have no idea how many meters we are going to walk.
I take a deep breath as I saw the country flag at a distance. It is a signal to say that we have reach a certain area of the school. The sound of the kids reaches me from afar that came to see the group of new comers that came to live with them. I saw a kid with a ponytail, wearing black color shirt with beautiful strips which I remembered that it is an embroidered fabric of its own village, that child run towards me with a runny nose.
That's the time where I see everything as slow motion.
(Grabs)
"(Northern Dialect) Phi Phi Phi where do you come from? Oh my your so handsome"
"(Northern Dialect) Everyone come here quick, A'Ja leng quick! come and see this"
"(Northern Dialect) Wow like an angel, Phi Phi are you an actor?"
Followed by the rest like thousand of them that came and grab my legs, I'm the first one who came up to the tip of the mountain and reached the village. The weird language that they are sending me, make me couldn't help but gather both of my eye brows together. The only thing that I manage to catch was Phi Ja that translate into big brother. Plus, the cutie face of the children both boys and girls looking at me with their faces filed with dirt giving me snacks, carrots, lettuce makes me feel dizzy.
Have I ever mentioned that the only kid that I like in this world is daonuea
Other than that...
I hate it
"(Northern Dialect) Children, Don't bother him. back off a little"
Someone voices out, I never realized his presence until now. My eyes were fixed at his hairstyle and fashion. I have to focus on how they style themselves in this village if not I will ended up as some strange creature here. I made eye contact with a boy, I manage to catch some of the northern language that he spoke because his accent is really soft.
Like a noble kid.
Like he is from the city.
Like he is provincial owner.
I am not over reacting, it really gives off that kind of vibes. Plus he is one of the person here that looks freaking clean, Fair skin like neon light. Even tough my daonuea looks fair but this kid are something else. The light colored hair of the leader among the kids made me have the random thoughts in my head...
On top of this mountain have barber as well?
But great, Mesa might be very happy as he's very sensitive about his look among us.
The huge group of children quickly back off and gave me some space like the words of the leader is important that they should listen at all cost. The person is shorter than me by a few centimeters, he looks like he have the same height as daonuea. He walk closer to me and it gave me time to take a good look at his face.
...He is so freaking cute
uhh...I really have this thought, this kid have everything such as sharp nose, kissable lips, beautiful brows, sweet looking eyes with his hair curl a little at the end and dyed it light brown...I can bet that if Mesa and JJ saw him they might be glad that they climb up to this mountain.
"uhh sawadeekrab"
Oh he can speak central dialect
"My name is prince krab, I am the voluntary teacher in this village school"
Prince?
jaochai? *kuafah is using the word prince in thai, as prince introduce his own name as prince which is in English and kuafah is trying to understand the meaning of the word prince
His parents really does know how to name his kids to match his own looks. I kept those comments in my own thoughts. The more I observe him, the way he talk and the way he act. It looks like his born in a noble family. I nodded at Prince that obviously looks like he is way more younger than me.
"I'm 19 years old. The village chief informed that you guys will be here at almost 2pm. The kids then came and waited since 10am" Prince made a troubled face, its like saying that I have tried stopping them but they wouldn't listen to me.
"You are Kuafah, Mesa or Jaytrin krab?" He tilt his head to the side and asked like a little puppy when it is curious if the object in front of him can be play,nibble or bite. I was quiet because I was too focus on his face.
It might be because I miss daonuea which is why I stare too long at him.
"A'Kuafahhh we are heree! ha ha haaa (panting)"
"What A'Mes-" I turn my head and found two of my friend stood still with their mouth open wide as if they saw ghost on top of the mountain. But no, in front of me is a human. Even though he seems more like daemon or a character from stories because he shines so bright.
"Ah that means this person here must be Kuafah" I heard the kid beside me whisper softly to himself before turning to 'wai' both of my friends. I bet that the village chief must have told him the purpose of us coming here and our age.
"Sawadee krab I am prince. I am the voluntary teacher here. I'm younger than you guys around 10 years"
"My name is Mesa krab. If you want to call me A'Sa , Ai sat Sa or Ai hia sa *rude pronounce* I will not be angry" I rolled my eyes as I look at the flirtatious matter of my friend.
"My name is JJ. If you're cold at night, you can call me all the time"
"That's too much"
"What? I wanted to light up the fire for Nong, what are you thinking?"
"You wait and see. I will kick you down the mountain"
That kid just laugh it off. The only thing I could do is to hold onto the backpack at my back and look at the voluntary teacher who is 19 years old, trying to answer the stupidest question from my friends. The big group of kids waited for their teacher to finish the talk like waiting for its own owner.
Looks like the Himalayas this time of mine wanted to transcend
damn it
___
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