Lily turns the stove off and brings over pots of food. I prep the table and whip my head back to check the clock. A minute has passed. "Bring the cutting board over please." I do as she says and then sit down, my fingers tapping against the armrest. She rolls her eyes with a slight smile on her face, "Athanasia."
"..." I'm staring at the clock ticking by and the door at the same time. How is it possible for the clock to go by so slowly?
"Pft." Lily drops a serving spoon in the pot of steamed jasmine rice. "They will be here soon."
I sigh.
Multiple knocks are heard at the door and then a squeal, "ATHYYY!"
I push my chair back and sprint towards the door, "JETTIE!" She extends her arms and I crash into her, our usual way of embracing. There's a slight sweet smell in her hair that reminds me of home.
"Lily." Uncle Anastacius nods his head in greeting as Lily does the same, "Athanasia. How have you two been?"
Still in a tight embrace, I look back at Uncle with a wide grin, "Not too bad. How have you been, Uncle?" A small smile spreads across his face. Like Daddy, he never showed much expression on his face but he did show his compassion and love through his actions.
"Can't complain."
"Oh Dad... Tell her how miserable everyone is without her there. She was the life of the party!" Jettie is so overwhelmed that she's crying as she's saying this. I am just as messy but I'm more happy than sad. My best friend is here again and it's almost like before.
"Get yourself together Jennette. We're here to comfort Athanasia, not pressure her to come back." His eyebrows wrinkle as he tries to hold back a chuckle. Jennette rolls her eyes at him but holds onto me tighter after she does so.
"Is it working?" Her blue eyes glimmer like a puppy's.
"Yep." I brush her hair out of her face and then hug her head, "How was the trip here?"
"I cannot begin to express how exhausting-"
"The fields here are so pretty!" Jennette interrupts, "I couldn't stop staring the whole way here!"
"I knew you'd love it! If you thought those fields were pretty... then you have to check out my room!"
Lily laughs, "Alright girls... you two can hang out for a bit before the rice is ready-" Jennette and I are already heading up the stairs when Lily says this. Uncle sits down on the couch and rests his head against the armrest, I guess being completely wiped out from the journey here. Come on, it's not even a full day of travel Uncle.
"Where's your room?" Jennette pokes her head over my shoulder as I guide her through the hall and then open the door to the far room which is mine. The sun shines through the curtains to the floor, showing a bright contrast to my bed and desk. My old room was obnoxiously colorful but I tried going for a modern aesthetic this time around.
"So cute!" She says then immediately goes for the window which shows the backyard. Can't blame her. It's absolutely stunning... especially at the end of the day when the sun sets. "It's beautiful."
"I know right?!" I nudged her and grinned, "For free.99 you too could enjoy access to a gorgeous view of my backyard. If you move in now, I am included in this sweet deal."
She bursts out in laughter, "What the heck-" I missed this so much. She doesn't even know half of it.
I glance back outside and stare at the fading sunset. It's almost time for the lights Lily and I set up the other day to flicker on. Three. Two. One.
"Oh! Oh my gosh!"
"So... what do you think?"
Jennette turns back at me, her eyes facing the floor. Her fingers wrap around her dress and stiffen up. "It's definitely stunning here..."
"But...?"
"It's different from Obelia."
"You're right." I stand next to her and bump her shoulder as we gaze at the lights outside. They brighten up the stone path and light up the branches on our trees. "I am still not used to this place despite such a beautiful landscape. I don't think I'll ever get used to it because it's not home."
"I get it."
"I don't know anyone here. This isn't my bed. My house. I can't see my parents here or hear their laughter in the kitchen."
"Oh Athy" Jennette grasps my shoulders tightly, "It must be so hard for you. I can't imagine how you feel. I'm sorry."
"... I just don't know how to feel anymore. Is it wrong that I can't accept this?"
"Not at all."
"What do I do?" I turn to rest my head on her shoulder, "I really want to see my Dad but why doesn't he want to see me anymore? What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing... You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sure that he just needs time just as you do to cope with your loss and that's okay. Okay?"
I shake my head against her and choke, "I know- I know that, it's just that I feel like time stopped. Like- I'm under water-" My chest throbs as my breathing staggers. Jennette wraps her arms around me and I bury my face in her hair. "I can't breathe. I dream of them every night and wake up every morning without them. What do I do Jettie?"
She brushes the back of my head with her hand, running her fingers through the strands which calms me down a bit. My mother used to do the same when I was in distress. "There's nothing you can do but accept it all as it is." She says quietly and seriously. I look into her eyes as she talks to me and I can see myself. My miserable and vulnerable self. She looks away for a second before looking back, "I can't imagine what it's like to lose a mother because I never got to know mine but I do think of her and how devastated my Dad must have been to have lost her. He has his moments when he thinks of her and he still cries sometimes. You can't really recover from this but you learn to live with it. Your mother fought to the end so you should too." I clench her coat and lean closer to her in desperation. After a couple of minutes, my tears stop running rampant but I've stained her clothes. I cough and let go of her.
Jennette's eyes are swollen and her lips are in a frown.
"Girls! Dinner is ready!!!" Lily yells downstairs.
My cousin rubs my eyes with her sleeves and gives me one last hug, "I will always be here for you Athy. You know that right?"
"I just stopped crying and now you're going to make me cry again."
"Well don't. We need to head down for dinner, silly. Are you ready now or do you need a few more minutes?"
I nod and she holds my hand gently.
We head downstairs. Lily drops a plate when she glances at us, "Oh my, what happened to you two?!"
"..." I side-eye my uncle.
"A girl thing, I assume?"
"Daaaad." Jennette groans as she slides into a chair next to my uncle.
"I got a little emotional." I muttered as I shoved a spoonful of rice into my mouth.
Lily glares at me. She hates it when I'm vague about answers to her questions.
"So..." My uncle clears his throat to change the subject, "I hear that you qualified for the track meet in multiple events?"
"WHAT?" Jennette stands up from her chair in shock at the news, "Athy. Why am I just now hearing about this?"
"Hahaha, I was just about to tell you today but I completely forgot. But yeah, for the long distance and the relay. I might've qualified for more... I'm not sure yet. There are more events left to practice for."
"You were always the academic type. I'm a little surprised." Uncle muttered before taking a bite. I gave him a look.
"I was also surprised but is it that surprising Uncle?"
"..."
"Daaaad."
"Mmm." He points at his lips which have been filled to the brim with food.
We wait for him to finish but he just shoves more food in his mouth.
"I am not surprised that our genius Athanasia qualified for such a thing. I would prefer she audition for mathletes or something of that sort but if she were to be in the track team, that wouldn't be so bad."
"I'm not so sure about track. I don't even know if running is my thing."
"Try a little of everything then? There must be all sorts of clubs at your school." Uncle finally chimes into our conversation.
I glance down at my food and stare at the chicken breast next to the carrots and broccoli; steam drifting up to my nose. How would I go about trying the clubs at my school? I don't even know where I would begin...Ah... maybe Ijekiel can help? Yes... I'm sure he would be able to help me, he's the class president!
After thinking about it some more, I shove a piece of the chicken breast into my mouth and groan in happiness. The food finally starts to have some flavor. Lily and Jennette laugh at something my Uncle says. A smile slowly spreads onto my face. It almost starts to feel like it did a couple of months ago. Everything feels like it's falling into place... little by little.
Jennette is right. I can't forget but I can recover. I just need time. Dad needs time. Time will mend this hole in our hearts. I'm sure of it.
"Lily, this is soooo good." I say through bites.
"Athanasia, please do not talk while you're chewing. It's bad manners!"