The Taste Of Ink | Taekook | ENG

62. SOMEONE YOU LOVED

Jeongguk parted his lips and let a loud, melodious laugh escape his throat as it cut through the cafeteria noise.

"Don't worry, dad," he finally said into the receiver, trying to calm his interlocutor. "We will certainly be on time with everything. You panic more than Seokjin," he added, still amused, looking at his companion. "I have to finish now. I'm with Jimin," he explained quickly, then listened to the voice on the other side of the receiver for a moment longer. "Okay, I promise I'll finish everything this weekend. Don't worry. Okay, Dad. I'll call you later," he said, then hung up and smiled apologetically at his friend. He put the phone down on the coffee table and looked at his companion again. "Sorry. Yerim is due for delivery this weekend, and we are making a room for her baby, and my dad is panicking that we won't be in time, although almost everything is ready," he explained quickly. "I swear, he and Seokjin panic like it's their first child."

"Are you painting a room for your brother's son?"

"Yes. I wanted to give them something special, so I arrange a room for the little one and paint pictures on the walls for him," he replied with clear pride in his voice. "I have to admit, it's a lot of fun. I even decided to make a cradle for him, and for the past two weeks, I've been playing carpenter. I think I watched a million videos on YouTube, but I think it turned out pretty good. I still need to smooth the surface and paint the wood."

"Okay, I will remember that. If I need a cradle for a baby, you are the first on my list," Park joked.

"Park and the baby?" Jeongguk asked, clearly surprised. "I never thought that I would say these two words in one sentence..."

"Believe me, I am even more surprised, but... I don't know. Since I'm with Yoongi it doesn't seem that scary," Jimin admitted, smiling a little. "I'm hopeless with kids, but he... There's something damn cute about him when he's taking care of a baby. He would be a fantastic father."

"I'm glad that you are so happy with him," saying this, the young artist instinctively squeezed his friend's hand. "Yoongi is a great guy."

"You look much happier, too," Park assessed, carefully examining his friend's face. "And I think it's the first time I've heard you call your father 'dad'," he added, involuntarily raising his lips in a warm smile.

"It's true," the brunet replied, returning his friend's smile. "I have always envied Jin's closeness to our father. He was always more reserved with me. Cold. After this conversation during my exhibition... The wall we had built between ourselves finally disappeared. For the first time, I feel like I really have his support. Whatever, I would do. I don't think we ever had such a good relationship before."

"Did he tell you what finally prompted him to speak to you?" Jimin asked, clearly curious, but Jeongguk shook his head.

"No, and somehow I didn't have a chance to ask. When he showed up at the exhibition, he told me he came because someone made him realize what an idiot he was," the dark-haired man confessed, snorting delicately.

"Uuuu, nice. I don't think I know anyone brave enough to say something like that to your father in the face," Park replied, raising his right eyebrow in appreciation.

"I know one person who would have the courage to do something similar," Jeongguk suddenly said, laughing, but when he realized what he had just said, he almost immediately became serious and involuntarily found his friend's gaze, as if expecting to hear the criticism or to see the pity in his eyes. "But he's not here, so..." he added quickly, then looked away and grabbed the coffee mug in his hands.

To hide his embarrassment, he raised the mug to his mouth and took a few sips of coffee, quickly swallowing the hot drink with a distinct hint of caramel. From the events of a year ago, when he ran like a complete idiot in the rain, chasing the ghost of Taehyung through the Italian streets, he refrained from talking about him. It's not that he wasn't thinking about him. Perhaps he thought of him even more than before, but he had learned to hide his longing. He did not pronounce his name aloud. He avoided talking about him. He did not ask questions. He didn't mention that he had a dream about him again or that he was chasing someone around town again because he smelled his perfume. He has not admitted to anyone that he is still listening to the recording the man left him on the answering machine over two years ago. That he had his picture in his wallet and the bracelet he had left on his wrist.

Pretending he didn't miss him was easier than explaining why he was still thinking about him.

Why he can't move forward. Why he is still waiting...

"And how are you doing?" Jimin asked suddenly, also getting serious. Jeongguk didn't dare to look at him, but he felt his friend's eyes on him nonetheless. "Recently you have been so busy with this exhibition that we did not even have a chance to meet and talk in peace," he explained. "And I think... I think a lot has changed in your life..." he added after a moment, carefully weighing his words. "How are things with..."

Park hesitated for a moment. He knew Jeongguk avoided talking about his love life. He never liked it and was always very secretive, and he had clearly been reluctant to talk about similar topics since Taehyung's disappearance, and he knew that he avoided these conversations because every mention of the tattoo artist hurt and cut him like a razor. That is why he did not question and put pressure on him, not wanting to open the already deep wounds.

When the former CEO was in Europe, their contact was hampered by the time difference and their relationship suffered somewhat. He was busy spending his free time with Yoongi, he was crazy in love with him, and Jeongguk was painting all day, working on his skill. He mentioned several times that he was going to therapy. He was so proud of himself for finally taking his attacks almost completely under control, and Jimin was happy that his friend was finally getting adequate help. He remembered the first time he heard Yugyeom's name, he had asked if the psychiatrist was as handsome as all the medics always are in romantic drama, but Jeongguk only laughed at him. It was only under pressure that he admitted that the man was very attractive. However, he immediately noted that they were only linked by the doctor-patient relationship, to be sure Park accidentally won't get too excited about it.

He also knew that after the end of therapy, they began meeting on a private level, but still maintained a purely platonic relationship. Yugyeom became his friend. Probably the only one he had next to him, being thousands of kilometers away. It was only when, after returning to Seoul, that the young artist introduced him to him during some random meeting in the city that he began to suspect that perhaps they had more than an ordinary friendship. Even though the meeting lasted maybe several minutes, he did not miss the way the psychiatrist looked at his friend. The rest of the 'testimony' had to be almost forced on him, and as a result, he only got scraps of information. He understood that maybe the thing between them was so fresh that the boy just didn't want to talk about it just yet, but in light of the new events, he couldn't understand why his friend hadn't mentioned a word about him being engaged so far.

"How is your relationship with this handsome psychiatrist developing?" He finally asked, pretending to be asking casually. "What was his name..." he added, pretending he couldn't remember the man's name, as if he were trying to encourage Jeongguk to confess.

"Yugyeom," Jeongguk replied, looking away again.

He almost involuntarily lifted the cup to his mouth and took a few sips, almost praying that Jimin wouldn't ask about his relationship with Yugyeom. He avoided looking at his friend for a moment longer, hoping that Park would give up, but the young businessman was clearly not going to let him go. He could have expected it. Of all people, Park never gave up. So he sighed and put the mug on the table, finally shifting his gaze to his friend.

"Me and Gyeomie..." he began hesitantly. "It's quite complicated," he added, not knowing how to explain what they had in common. Because who were they really?

"But you still see each other, right? He was with you at the exhibition..." Park encouraged, wanting to investigate his friend's relationship.

He wanted to know if Taehyung was right not to tell him about his return. He had been struggling with his thoughts for almost three weeks. He didn't want to interfere with their relationship, but how could he remain silent if Jeongguk still loved him? So he stared at him intently, as if even the slightest frown or a tremor on his lip could reveal his true feelings. Life had taught him that the mouth often says something that is not always true. So he searched deeper.

"He's... He's very supportive of me. He did it from the very beginning. I owe him a lot," the former CEO admitted. "He helped me a lot when I left for Paris, and I was left alone with it all..."

"And now? You mentioned that there was something between you... Do you want it to be something more... official?" He asked, seeing that Jeongguk didn't really want to pursue the topic.

Almost three weeks had passed since Taehyung's return. However, Jeongguk still had no idea about it, and he couldn't stop thinking about it. He couldn't help but feel that his friend still loved the tattoo artist, even though he hadn't spoken to him about his ex-partner in a long time.

But is it possible to stop loving someone you loved so much?

"Why are you asking about him, Jimin?" The brunet asked suddenly, answering the question with a question. He shifted nervously, apparently uncomfortable with the mini-interrogation his friend had decided to give him. "It's nothing. We see each other sometimes," he added evasively.

But something about his tone and perhaps his evasive gaze disturbed Park enough that he knew he couldn't let go. He ran a hand through his blond hair and narrowed his eyes, staring intently at his friend's face.

"Gguk, I'm not stupid," he said finally. "I know there's something you're not telling me... and I don't know why. I am your friend. And whatever you decide, I will support you..." That said, Park stretched out his hand and placed it on his friend's. Jeongguk looked at their clasped hands and stared at them for a moment, still silent. "Do you want it to be more serious with Yugyeom?" The blond asked after a moment of silence. "It's been two years since you split up, if you want and feel ready to move forward, then..." he continued quickly, and at these words Jeongguk abruptly withdrew his hand.

"What? No!" He protested quickly, before realizing he was almost shouting the words. But he couldn't even bear the thought of ever forgetting him. Embarrassed, he ran a hand through his long, now ponytailed hair. "You know I couldn't..." he began, but he paused, once again feeling the confession freeze in his throat, the painfully iron grip of emotion rising in him. "I made that mistake with Lisa. I'm not going to do it again," he finally explained, trying to keep his voice under control so that his friend would not hear its trembling.

"But you guys have sex, right? You recently said you slept with each other several times..."

"I..." the brunet choked out, but fell silent again.

"Jeongguk, you are not in a relationship with anyone. It's okay if... Everyone has their own needs, and if that psychiatrist..."

"I lied to you," the young artist finally confessed, looking away. "Or rather... I didn't correct you when you assumed that me and Yugyeom..."

Jeongguk was silent for a moment. He stared at his hands, but still felt his friend's watchful eyes on him. Only when the silence seemed to choke him did he dare to look up and find Jimin's gaze again.

"We don't sleep together," he said, a bit embarrassed. "In fact... nothing ever happened between us. I did not correct you because... When you asked about him like that... I was ashamed to admit that... that I didn't want someone else to..."

"For someone other than him to touch you?" Jimin asked carefully, lowering his voice enough that only Jeongguk could hear his question.

He knew this conversation was difficult for him. A young artist rarely opened himself to someone as much as he was at the moment. So he wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible.

"I know you probably think this is stupid. Taehyung disappeared without a word over two years ago, leaving only that damn red string behind, and I thought it meant something... I know everyone around probably thinks that I have lost my mind, waiting for him to just come back one day and knock on my door. I should have started to make my life without him long ago, but I can't. I can't because..."

"You still love him," Jimin finished for him, the corners of his lips involuntarily lifting.

He couldn't explain it, but he felt a strange warmth at the thought that the two still loved each other so much, even though they didn't even know if their affection was mutual.

"I can't stop waiting for him," Jeongguk confessed after a brief pause. "Yugyeom has everything you could want from a partner. He's smart, funny, and fucking handsome, and on top of that, he's a really great guy. And he cares about me. I know if I would let him... But I can't... Shortly before my return to Korea, we went to a pub for drinks. We both drank a lot, and I thought maybe I should try... maybe it's time to move on. I invited him to my hotel room, but I couldn't do it... I missed the closeness so much. I wanted to be touched again... But the thought of someone else touching me made me feel sick. I know that for most people it's just sex, but not for me."

"So you and Yugyeom..."

"Taehyung was my first man, and I wanted him to be the only one who was with me that way... Maybe someday... Maybe I'll finally feel ready, but not now. Yugyeom... He knows about Tae. I have talked to him about Tae many times in our sessions. He understands that what was between us... what still connects us..."

He suspended his voice again. He felt bloody exposed, confessing to a friend that Taehyung was his first and only man. Until now, he had allowed him to think that his relationship with Yugyeom was also physical, as he was ashamed to tell him the truth. But now he felt a strange relief to finally tell someone he loved about it. Especially since Jimin did not judge him at all. On the contrary, he felt that his friend understood him.

"Yugyeom is goddamn understanding. He doesn't push. He's not rushing me. I know he cares about me and that it's not easy for him, but I'm not ready. I can't..."

"What would you do if he came back?" Jimin asked suddenly, before he could bite his tongue.

He knew perhaps he shouldn't interfere in their relationship and let Taehyung decide when he was ready to speak to Jeongguk, but after what his friend had just confessed to him, he couldn't help himself.

Jeongguk looked at him with his dark eyes, clearly surprised by the question. Until now, Jimin had rather avoided talking about Tae. He guessed he was doing it to keep from hurting him and tearing old wounds open, but now there was something strange in his voice.

"Why are you asking that?" He answered the question with a question, and when he saw Park swallow hard, he pinched his eyebrows together, his heart pounding involuntarily. "Jimin, do you know something?" He asked.

"N-no. I'm just asking," the blond replied, smiling a bit nervously. "You said you still had feelings for him... What would you do if Taehyung really did come back?" He asked again.

As he finished asking the question, the young artist's cell phone rang again. The device began to vibrate and bounce gently on the table where they were sitting, and Jeongguk looked at the display involuntarily.

Yugyeom.

He moistened his lips quickly, letting the silent curse escape from them. He grabbed the cell phone in his hand and looked at Jimin again.

"Jimin, do you know something?" He asked, trying to ignore the insistent sound of the phone ringing, but while his friend was still silent, he finally pressed the green button and put the cell to his ear. "Yes?" he already said to the receiver. "Oh, shit. It's now?" He asked, then put the phone down enough to check the time on the display. "Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm with Jimin, and it just slipped my mind. How long does the movie start? Okay. Give me twenty minutes. There are long commercials in the beginning. I'll be right there, okay?" He added quickly, and then he listened to his interlocutor for a moment more. When he finally hung up, he looked at Jimin again. "I completely forgot that I made an appointment with Yugyeom to the movies..." he said quickly. "I'm already late," he admitted regretfully.

He felt guilty for forgetting the meeting and making the psychiatrist wait for him. He hated being late and hated being told by others to wait for him. He had been taught all his life that this was a sign of disrespect. At the very thought, he felt an unpleasant pressure in his stomach and a wave of nervousness rising up his spine, slowly taking the form of remorse.

"I have to go, but... I'll call you tonight," he said, rising from the table. He hesitated for a moment whether he should leave or stay, but finally he grabbed his leather jacket and looked at his friend once more. "Jimin, if you know something... If Taehyung has contacted you... I need to know..."

"Okay," Jimin finally agreed. "We'll talk tonight," he added, looking him straight in the eye.

Jeongguk stared at his friend for a moment longer, as if wondering if he should stay and press Jimin to tell him the truth. He was almost one hundred percent sure that the man knew something.

"I'll call you," he repeated, however, then turned on his heel and hurried out of the café.

***

Yugyeom passed the people gathered in front of the movie theater, following in the footsteps of the tall, dark haired man two steps ahead of him. He involuntarily looked around the silhouette of the man. Jeongguk looked extremely sexy today. For a brief moment, he wondered if he was dressed like that for their meeting. He remembered, however, that the young artist was almost late for the movie because his date had fallen out of his mind, which quickly cooled his enthusiasm. When they finally passed the entire crowd at the entrance and Jeongguk stopped, he measured him again from head to toe.

The brunet was wearing black, tight jeans that, as usual, hugged his strong, athletic legs like a second skin. Heavy motorcycle boots on the feet. On the top, he wore only a plain white T-shirt with a low-cut neckline that ended almost at the height of the sternum, and a black leather jacket over it, but still he couldn't look away from him. As the man raised his hand to run a hand through his dark, ponytailed hair, he noticed that the white T-shirt was cut so deeply under the armpits that if Jeongguk had removed his jacket, he could now admire the tattoo that covered the right side of his ribs.

"How did you like the movie?" He asked, clearing his throat to keep his voice under control.

"It was..." The boy trailed off as if he didn't know what to say. "Interesting..." he finished hesitantly.

"You didn't like it," Yugyeom guessed, frowning his eyebrows intently.

"It wasn't that bad," Jeongguk said, slowly articulating the words.

He knew the Yugyeom wanted to please him by organizing this evening for them, and he didn't want to upset him by saying the movie was a nightmare. The truth was that almost the entire time, he literally fought that Morpheus would not take him into his strong arms to the land of blissful oblivion.

"It was boring, wasn't it? You probably slept half of the movie..." the older man groaned, staring at his face.

"Maybe... about a quarter..." The brunet admitted, curving his lips in a beautiful smile.

"Oh, nooo," Yugyeom groaned. "God, I knew this movie was a bad idea... But something tempted me to read some stupid article entitled: 'Five ideas on how to impress the man of your dreams' and they wrote there that I should choose a complicated and long movie, because then you will think that I am ambitious and..."

Jeongguk laughed softly under his breath, but he approached the man and grasped the lapels of his jacket, turning him towards him.

"Gyeomie, it's nothing. It's just a movie," he said gently. "At least I could sleep off my late night," he joked.

"Oh, no! So you were really sleeping?" He asked, and Jeongguk laughed out loud, throwing his head back.

He let go of the lapels of his jacket and smoothed them so that they again lay perfectly on the psychiatrist's broad chest, then looked him straight in the eye.

"Well, maybe three-quarters," he admitted truthfully and curved his lips in a wide smile, then turned on his heel and walked forward, gently swaying his hips.

"Seriously?!" Yugyeom called after him, and he quickly followed in his footsteps. "Oh, no, and I wanted you to have a good time," he said apologetically. "I should have known you'd not like this movie."

"Come on, Gyeomie. Nothing happened," the brunet replied, smiling gently at him. "I'm more curious about the other four ideas," he joked, but before the psychiatrist could answer, he added quickly, "I'm hungry. Let's go eat something."

"Okay," the older man agreed, folding his lips into a bright smile. He felt much better to see that the young artist did not care too much about his poor repertoire selection. "There is a great French restaurant nearby. I reserved a table for us," he admitted, hoping that the day could still be saved.

He specially chose one of the restaurants rated the highest by restaurateurs. The restaurant was situated in one of the luxurious high-rises nearby, and he had reserved a table for them, which was set in the most romantic location with a beautiful view of the Banpo Bridge.

"Yugyeom... I..."

"Oh, yeah! How could I forget..." the elder moaned again. "You don't like such places..."

"It's just... Places like that remind me too much of a life I don't want to go back to anymore," Jeon admitted. "There's a great place right around the corner where they serve ramen in mugs... Maybe that doesn't sound very good, but I swear you've never had a better one. This is one of my favorite places... So... What do you think?" he began, pointing in the direction of one of the alleys.

He did not reveal it was the place Taehyung showed him. That it was a place where they used to go together a lot, and perhaps he still went there, because he hoped that one day when he got there, he would see him sitting at their favorite table in the corner of the garden under one of the branchy cherry trees.

He chose not to mention this part...

So he smiled and waited for the psychiatrist to nod that he was agreeing to his suggestion.

After the elder agreed, he slowly walked forward, guiding him in the right direction. They walked the rest of the way. They didn't talk much, but the silence between them wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. They felt good in each other's company.

There, they sat down at one of the small tables in the garden. Jeongguk specifically chose a different table than the one at which he was usually sitting with Tae. It was their table. He didn't want to sit there with someone else. Instead, he sat down at the table across from it, so he could stare at a place that had always belonged to Tae, as if the tattoo artist were about to come over and sit across from him. Jeongguk placed an order for them, allowing himself to decide for a psychiatrist, and after a dozen or so minutes they sat with mugs with steaming ramen in their hands.

"Try it," the younger one encouraged.

Yugyeom smiled at him, but without protest he grabbed the chopsticks in his hands and dipped them in the mug, and after a while he slipped some noodles into his mouth. He couldn't even remember the last time he ate anything like this. For many years he lived in Paris, and there it was rather in vain to look for similar places. He hasn't been to many restaurants since returning to Korea. He still couldn't really find himself in the new place, but he came here because of Jeongguk.

He loved him and wanted to be with him. He knew the boy still had feelings for his ex. The younger one never hid it from him, but he believed that if he was patient enough he would get his chance someday, and it seemed to him that he was on the right track. Even though there had been no intimacy between them so far, it didn't matter to him. He could feel Jeongguk opening up to him. That he trusts him. And he hoped that someday he would start to reciprocate his feelings too. He knew that earning his respect and trust was more important than being physically close.

He would be lying if he said he didn't want to kiss him, to run his fingertips over his athletic body. He happened to see him without a shirt or even completely naked, when they took a shower together at the gym, and he dreamed of being able to touch him, but he wasn't about to do something the boy clearly wasn't ready for. He could wait for him because he knew Jeongguk was worth it.

He didn't know why he bought this ring. He knew that the brunet was not ready to take such a serious step. He never even asked him to try to be a couple. In fact, he couldn't even tell who they were to each other. Guess he was just a man who fell in love with his friend. Without reciprocity. But when he saw the ring, he couldn't help it. He wasn't going to propose to him right away. He wanted to wait for the right moment. For the moment when he feels that the younger one is finally ready to start building his future with him, but when he saw Taehyung on the doorstep of Jeongguk's apartment... He got scared. He was afraid that if he didn't do it... He would lose him...

He had no intention of lying to him, but when Taehyung asked about him, the words about the engagement rolled out of his mouth by itself. At first, he didn't feel guilty for keeping the truth from him. For telling the tattoo artist they were engaged. For a brief moment, he even felt a sort of relief that the man had backed off.

But now...

He shifted his gaze involuntarily to the younger man, who now sat across from him. The boy was holding chopsticks in his hand, but he was not eating his dish. He sat still, staring at a vacant table beneath a sprawling cherry tree. He couldn't take his eyes off him. Jeongguk was beautiful. His dark hair, now tied in a little ponytail, glistened in the sunlight, and his eyes, the color of hot chocolate, stared almost absently in front of him. It was enough to let him know that his thoughts must have been drawn back to some events from two years ago.

To him.

As he stared at him, he noticed that the artist's right hand almost involuntarily lifted, and his fingers gripped the engagement ring that hung on a thin chain around his neck. For a moment, he watched his long fingers play with his jewelry as if it were one of the most precious possessions he owned.

"Gguk..." he began hesitantly.

He knew that if he told him the truth it would probably be the end of what was slowly starting to build up between them, but if he really cared about him, he had to tell him the truth.

Jeongguk, hearing his name, finally woke up from that strange trance he seemed to be in, and looked at him.

"S-sorry," he said quickly. "I was lost in my thoughts," he added. "You like it?" He asked, stirring the contents of his cup with his chopsticks. His dish was almost cold by now, and he barely touched it.

"Yes. It's really delicious," the elder admitted, smiling at him. This time, however, the smile stopped below the line of his beautiful eyes.

"I used to come here often," Jeongguk said before he could bite his tongue. "I missed that. In France. Homemade Korean food."

"You're right. I've always missed it too. Although for so many years I got used to that life. I still can't quite find my place here..."

"Are you sure you want to move here permanently?" The brunet asked. "If..." he began, but stopped, not knowing if he should say it out loud. "If you only do it for me..."

"Gguk," Yugyeom said fondly, clutching his hand almost involuntarily. "I care about you," he admitted, looking him straight in the eye. "I guess I've made it clear enough for you lately..." he added, referring to the events from almost three weeks ago. "I love you, Gguk, and I want to be by your side. I understand you don't feel ready... I really understand that... But I don't want to give you up on us. If being by your side means being in Korea... So be it."

"Gyeomie..." the young artist groaned softly. "I can't promise you anything... I don't want you to do anything just for me."

"I know, Gguk. I also have great development prospects here. I can open an apprenticeship here and fulfill myself professionally. Change doesn't always have to be bad."

"If you feel unhappy..."

"You'll be the first to know about it," the psychiatrist assured, then smiled as he closed his fingers on his palm again. "I wish I could make you happy," he whispered.

"I know. And I adore you for that. You are a wonderful human and a fantastic guy," the younger one admitted. "Only the movies you choose are terribly boring," he added, trying to loosen the atmosphere, and Yugyeom laughed out loud at his words.

"You are horrible!" He scolded him. "You could at least pretend you liked it."

Jeongguk laughed as well, throwing his head back. He enjoyed spending time with Yugyeom. He felt at ease with him. For some time now, he had been aware that the man had feelings for him. After his proposal, he had no doubts about it, but even so, the elder never put any pressure on him, and perhaps that was why he valued him so much. He didn't expect confessions or closeness from him, for which he was not ready, he just gave him his support and was there when Jeongguk needed it.

After a while, the atmosphere between them was not so thick anymore. They laughed and talked like two friends. Jeongguk didn't even know when the next minutes and hours passed. He liked these moments. When he was left alone, he began to think about him again. Since he returned to Korea, there has hardly been a moment when he did not think about him.

Everything reminded him of Tae, and it made him miss him even more.

As Yugyeom told him some funny story from his past, he shifted his gaze to him and for a moment stared at his moving lips, which every now and then involuntarily arched into a beautiful arc. He liked his smile. He looked a little younger when he smiled, but that suited him. The wind blew his hair, which from the intense sun seemed to be a little lighter now than it had been when he had come here, and his skin still bore the marks of the French sun.

As he looked over his shoulder, he noticed that a group of three men was sitting a few tables away. They were all wearing rock-style clothes, which caught his attention. Unable to help himself, he shifted his gaze to them, carefully scanning their shapes and faces as if he expected to see Taehyung among them. However, he quickly found that he did not know any of them. Moreover, they were certainly not even Korean. But there was something about their style or manner that caught his eye, and although he tried to focus on what was coming out of his companion's mouth, his gaze kept darting towards the unknown men.

As the group got up from their seats and began to gather to leave, he noticed that one of the guys had an entire forearm tattooed. He looked at the tattoo that adorned his skin with curiosity, and he couldn't help feeling that something about the artwork was strangely familiar. He couldn't explain it. He didn't know if it was something in the design or in the technique with which the tattoo was made, but he felt that it could only be created by one person. The longer he stared, the faster his heart beat in his chest. He involuntarily leaned a little more forward to be able to get a better look at what adorned the stranger's skin, and he could have sworn that he sees the characteristic redness here and there, which could only be a proof of one thing ― the tattoo was probably made a few hours ago.

As he saw the men begin to move away, on some strange impulse, he jumped up from his seat and followed them. As he ran out of the front yard of the restaurant where they were sitting, he heard Yugyeom calling his name, but he couldn't stop. He struggled around tables and ran outside. He looked around quickly, and when he saw that the group of three men had already gone several meters away, he quickened his pace.

The strangers were already quite a distance ahead of him, but fortunately they did not move away quickly, thanks to which he caught up with them easily. Without thinking for long, he just ran in front of them, paving the way for them not to pass him by. As he met their confused stares, he raised his hands up as if to show them that he had no bad intentions towards them.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly in Korean, but when he caught sight of their questioning glances, he immediately guessed that they certainly didn't even know a word of the language. So he quickly switched to English and, wasting no more time, he quickly explained. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you... just... your tattoo," he explained somewhat chaotically, pointing to the tattooed forearm of the man he had been watching a moment ago.

"W-What about my tattoo?" The boy asked hesitantly, in a bit of broken English.

The young artist recognized the characteristic Italian accent almost immediately and guessed that the foreigners were probably from sunny Italy. But he didn't know a word of Italian, so he quietly hoped that they would be able to communicate in English.

The boy was young. He may have been in his twenties. He was clearly confused. His body tensed like a string, as if he was getting ready to be attacked by Jeongguk. So the young artist took a step back, as if to show that he had no evil intentions, and lowered his hands.

"It's beautiful," he confessed involuntarily, before his thoughts could form together. "I really like tattoos, and yours is exceptionally beautiful. I wanted to know who made it," he explained quickly, as if afraid the man might leave before he knew anything.

"A tattoo artist from Italy made it," the stranger replied.

"From Italy," Jeongguk repeated, feeling the bitter taste of disappointment on his tongue. He looked again at the man's tattooed forearm. Up close, he had no doubt that his skin was still irritated. "It looks freshly made..." he said softly, more to himself than to him.

"Yes. I did it yesterday. My friend recommended this tattoo artist to me, because he made him a tattoo in Milan," the boy explained. "This dude makes amazing tattoos, and now he's here..."

At his words, Jeongguk looked up and found the stranger's dark eyes.

"He's here? What's his name?" He asked, feeling a surge of hope. "Taehyung? His name is Taehyung?" He continued, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, waiting for the boy's answer.

"I-I don't know... He... He only uses a pseudonym," the other explained, a bit confused, shifting from foot to foot. "It's supposed to be illegal here, so... He tattoos as Vante."

"Vante," Jeongguk repeated involuntarily, as if he hoped that when he said the word aloud, some memories would come to life in his head, but nothing like that happened.

He had never heard the name before. The sound reminded him of Van Gogh, whom Tae loved so much, but he knew it was probably total stupidity.

"Sorry, we've got to go," the stranger suddenly said, snapping him out of his thoughts and almost passed him by, but Jeongguk quickly grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving.

"Did you do that tattoo here? In Seoul?" He asked quickly, and when the other nodded, he added hopefully, "Will you give me the address? Will you tell me where it is?"

"Sure," the other replied, taking out a pen. "Got something to write?"

Jeongguk instinctively slipped his hand into his jacket pocket to jot down the data, but realized that his cell phone was still on the restaurant table, and he didn't even have a scrap of paper with him. So he shook his head, but after a while without thinking he reached out for a pen and tugged the sleeve of his leather jacket so that he could write the address on his skin. The boy gave him the address, and he quickly jotted it down and handed him back the pen.

"Thank you," he said, curving his lips into a gentle smile.

"No problem," the other replied, and started walking with his friends.

The young artist raised his hand and rolled up the sleeve of his leather jacket again. He stared at the address written on his skin for a moment. He couldn't explain it, but the very thought of what he might find there made his heart beat twice as hard...

He didn't even know how long he stared at the blue ink that was now covering his skin, when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He almost jumped in place. He quickly lowered the sleeve of his jacket and turned back.

"What happened? Who was it?" Yugyeom asked, measuring him carefully with his eyes.

"I-I thought... I thought he was the boy I went to college with," he lied, embarrassed by his behavior.

He was doing it again. He was acting like a madman chasing a ghost that did not want to be found. He knew it was ridiculous, but he was convinced it was Taehyung who made the tattoo. But he knew he couldn't say it out loud.

"He didn't seem like someone from here..." Yugyeom added, clearly confused, still following the gaze of the group of young boys. After a while, however, he looked back at Jeongguk, then extended his hand to him. "You left your phone."

"Thank you," the brunet replied, taking the cell from him and quickly slipped it into his jacket pocket. "Sorry about that... I left you without a word... Oh, and you had to pay the bill for me..." he added, clearly embarrassed, then quickly slipped his hand into his jacket pocket to take the money out of it, but Yugyeom stopped him.

Jeongguk looked up to find his gentle eyes, and the psychiatrist smiled softly at him.

"It was supposed to be a date, Gguk..." he protested.

The young artist stared at him for a moment longer, but finally gave up and withdrew his hand.

"Okay. So next time, I'll invite you somewhere," he suggested.

"That sounds pretty good," the elder admitted, smiling at him. "It's... Then... What do you want to do now? It's still quite early... Maybe..."

"Yugyeom..." Jeongguk interrupted him, but he paused, wondering what he should do now.

He didn't want to disappoint him, but he couldn't ignore the thought that appeared on the back of his head. He could almost feel the letters he had written on his hand with a ballpoint pen a moment ago, now burning his skin, not allowing him to forget.

He had to check if it was him...

"Something happened?" The elder asked, drawing his perfect eyebrows together.

"Yes. No... I mean..." he began hesitantly and fell silent for a moment. "I remembered that I have to do something. I'm sorry," he said remorsefully.

"Oh, okay," the psychiatrist choked out. He tried to hide his disappointment, but Jeongguk caught the note of sadness in his voice anyway. "I was hoping that you would let me invite you for a drink or..."

"Not today, Gyeomie," the younger said. "It's... It's something very important," he added, forcing a gentle smile. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

He reached out his hand almost involuntarily and grasped his hand to squeeze it gently, as if to reassure him that his apology was sincere. He just didn't know for sure what he apologizes him for...

For leaving him once again to search for the one who perhaps does not want to be found at all... or for not being able to reciprocate his feelings...

Not wanting to think about it any longer, he nodded to him and ran for his motorcycle. The day he spent on Jeju with Taehyung, covering kilometers on a black Ducati, made him love riding two-wheelers. So he got a motorbike driver's license and, as soon as the opportunity arose, he bought this beauty ― a Ducati Diavel 1260 S. It was exactly the same model he had rented back then for Tae. The same that the tattoo artist has always dreamed of.

He parked nearby, so he didn't have to run far to be there. He stopped in front of the machine and stared for a moment at the black body shimmering in the afternoon sun. Only after a while, he slipped his hand into the pocket of his leather jacket and grasped the cellphone in his fingers, pulling it out. He quickly dialed Jimin's number and pressed the receiver to his ear.

"C'mon... Park..." he hurried, listening to another hollow signal.

"Hello, this is Park..." the young businessman's melodious voice said suddenly.

Recognizing the well-known recording from his friend's voicemail, Jeongguk cursed loudly. He hung up and dialed his number again, as if that might help and make Jimin pick up this time after all. Listening to the long, monotonous beep, he let another curse break from his lips.

"Hello, this is Park..." rang in his ears.

This time, however, he waited until he heard a long, distinctive tone on the other side, telling him to leave a message. He didn't usually do that, but now he had no better idea of ​​getting his friend to contact him sooner. He hoped that maybe somewhere in between the business meetings, the young millionaire would have time to hear his message and contact him.

"Hi. It's me, Gguk," he said quickly.

He knew it wasn't necessary at all. However, he felt a bit awkward leaving a message on his friend's voicemail, so he didn't know how to actually start. After this brief introduction, however, he fell silent, wondering what exactly he wanted to say to him.

"He's back, isn't he?" He asked finally, feeling his heart speed up involuntarily again.

He couldn't explain it. He didn't know where he was suddenly so sure.

He just felt it...

And he was convinced that his friend certainly knew more than he had been telling him so far. He moistened his lips and instinctively ran a hand through his ponytailed hair. His hair was long enough now that he easily tied it in a man bun. However, they were so thick that he decided to shave the sides to somehow tame them. It gave him a slightly more aggressive image, but he liked it. Finally, he felt really comfortable in his own skin.

"Taehyung," he continued.

It felt weird saying his name aloud. He hadn't done this for so long. He repeated his name more than once, like a mantra in his head. He wouldn't count the number of times he repeated his name in his sleep, chasing him down dark Parisian streets, then woke up covered in sweat, his cheeks wet with tears. How many times had he let the tattoo artist's name fall out of his throat, preceded by the erotic 'Oh, yes!' as he was touching himself, thinking of him. Sometimes he would whisper it like a prayer, staring at their photos together, his fingertips running over the smooth texture of the photograph.

After his comeback in Seoul, he developed them all, but never showed them to anyone. It was another little secret of his. Most of them were kept in a small box tucked under the bed, but one was always with him. He kept it in his wallet next to his mother's picture. It was a photo they took shortly after returning from Jeju and not long before Tae disappeared. It was the last photo they took together. And even though he hadn't taken it out of his wallet now, he could visualize the picture with the greatest precision. It showed all three of them: him, Taehyung, and Jae. He treated it as his greatest treasure.

"I feel it. And... I know you know something. I need to know, Jimin... Even if he..." He broke off, unable to pronounce the words aloud.

He knew that a lot could happen during these two years. He still didn't know if he understood the message Tae was trying to convey to him, leaving the bracelet for him. Perhaps he was only fooling himself that it meant something more...

At first, he felt the need to find him. Despite the limited possibilities, he looked for him wherever he could, and when he found out that the man had gone to Paris, he followed in his footsteps. There, however, his trail ceased. So he wandered the streets of Paris aimlessly, hoping to find him someday.

The crisis came after the events in Milan...

More than once he had chased someone because he was convinced it was him, but never before had he been so sure of it as he had been that night...

Until now, however, he remembered what Yugyeom had told him then...

"You say you have to find him... But... Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he doesn't want you to find him?"

After these events, he realized that Yugyeom was right. Taehyung, whom he then met, did not want to be found... That was why he was running away from him. He was mistaken to think he had left that bracelet for him to look for him.

He couldn't stop thinking about it for a long time. These were perhaps one of the worst days he has had since leaving Korea. For a moment he really lost hope that they would meet again someday, but then suddenly something occurred to him...

What if he wasn't so wrong at all? What if he misinterpreted what the boy wanted to tell him because of his longing for his loved one? If Yugyeom was right and Taehyung ran away because he didn't want to be found, then maybe he didn't leave this bracelet for Jeongguk to try to find him... Maybe it was the other way around...

Perhaps Taehyung wanted Jeongguk to wait for him...

Maybe he was running away because it was too early. Maybe he wasn't ready, or something or someone prevented him from being together again?

Maybe Jeongguk shouldn't look for him at all, but let him find him?

This is why he returned to Korea. He knew that if Taehyung decided to return, this was where he would be looking for him. He lived in his apartment. In their apartment... And he waited.

He waited for the tattoo artist to decide to come home one day.

To him.

He would go to the places where they had eaten together before, where they walked together, where they took Jae together, and he looked around hoping to one day see him, but until now he had never felt his presence. Now, when he saw that tattoo on a stranger's arm... He knew it was him. At first, he wanted to go to check that address, but he was afraid that perhaps Taehyung was still not ready.

That he might disappear again...

That's why he wanted to contact Jimin. He wanted to know what his friend knew. But when once again only the soulless machine answered him, he felt he couldn't wait any longer. The moment seemed to pass through his fingers, and he was afraid that if he didn't take the risk now, he might never have a chance to try again. He felt like he was standing on a precipice, and all he could see in front of him was darkness... but he knew he had to try.

"Call me as soon as you hear this," he added quickly, then hung up.

He had to jump.

He only hoped that during these two years he had learned to fly well enough not to fall into a black abyss.

***

Taehyung turned off the tattoo gun and carefully set it aside, then looked at what had come out of his hand. His lips involuntarily curved into a gentle smile. He was proud of his work. His client gave him a free hand, allowing him to come up with and design the entire tattoo himself, and he loved such challenges. Although the tattoo took up almost the entire forearm of the man, and he spent several hours on it, he was incredibly happy and satisfied.

"We're done," he said, looking at the client's face.

"Oh! Fuckin' shit! It's amazing!" The other exclaimed, curiously turning his hand so that he could see the whole thing closely.

"It's made so that if you ever want to pull the tattoo higher, it won't be a problem. You'll be able to make the entire sleeve," the tattoo artist explained.

"Hmmm, you haven't secured it yet, and are you tempting to make the next one?" The man joked.

"I have to take care of the customers," Kim replied, winking at him, then pushed himself off the table and wheeled himself on the swivel chair to the cupboard where he stored his tattoo cleansers.

After a while, he returned to the client again. He sprinkled his slightly reddened skin and began to wipe away any remaining blood and ink, cleaning the tattoo gently enough not to irritate sensitive areas.

"Do you remember what I told you?" He asked, looking at the man. "It's quite sunny. Better avoid overexposure to the sun."

"I remember," the man nodded. "I promise to take care of this masterpiece," he added, grinning, and Taehyung snorted softly under his breath, laughing.

"Don't get the tattoo wet too much. Until it heals, no sauna, no gym or anything like that. And avoid alcohol," he continued, and when the other laughed, he quickly added, "I know that I sound like a broken record, but it's very important."

"You sound like a father advising his son," the other joked.

"I'm the father. Maybe it got into my blood too much," Kim replied, laughing. "The only difference is that for my son, for now, I repeat: 'wash your hands before you eat', 'be careful not to tip over', 'do not eat so much ice cream, because your tummy will hurt'," he calculated and laughed again, throwing his head back. "Just wait till he is old enough to start drinking alcohol..."

"You have a son?" The client asked, clearly surprised. "Seriously?"

"He's almost six," Kim admitted, smiling at the mere thought of Jae.

"Six? Yeeez! So when did you fathered him? In diapers?"

"Almost," he replied, still laughing out loud. "It's ready," he said, finishing securing the tattoo, then stood up and removed the black latex gloves from his hands.

"But the toddler is lucky. It is a dream to have such a father," the dark-haired man said, rising from his seat. "My old man was offended when he found out that I was going to get a tattoo," he added.

"I hope he won't be as offended when he sees what it is." That said, Taehyung walked over to his leather jacket that hung on a hanger and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "Do you still have a moment?" He asked, turning towards the boy. "Maybe you want to smoke with me?" he suggested.

After returning to Seoul, he invested almost all of his money in this place. He wanted something of his own and was really proud of what he had achieved, although he had barely managed to settle down here. He organized a painting equipment shop in the main hall. He had everything from brushes and hangers to canvases and easels. From crayons and paints to graffiti sprays. And deep down, hidden was the heart of the place ― his tattoo studio.

For now, he was working alone, so apart from his clients, he didn't even have anyone to talk to, so he gladly took the opportunity to talk for a while with someone who didn't even know who he was.

"Of course. Besides, I would love to smoke myself," the other admitted.

So Taehyung nodded and motioned for the elder to move towards the exit. They walked through the door that led to the paint shop and walked down the shelves to the exit. The man looked curiously over paints in a thousand shades and brushes of various shapes and sizes, then looked at one of the walls, where a beautiful painting was hung in the main place. He paused and stared for a long moment at the clasped hands of the two men, bound by the red thread.

"Do you paint?" He asked, pointing to the picture.

He had no problem noticing that one of the hands were certainly those of a tattoo artist who had created a real masterpiece on his skin a moment ago. He recognized his slender fingers and the tattoos covering his swarthy skin.

Taehyung stopped as well, and looked at the painting that held the most prominence in his store. He would have liked to have hung it over the bed, but he was still living at Yoongi's. At least he managed to reorganize the kindergarten for Jae. He was glad his previous kindergarten agreed to re-accept him. He did not want the toddler to have problems with settling in again in Seoul. To his surprise, however, Jae seemed to handle the change better than he did. The only thing that bothered him was that they had returned home and Jeongguk was still not with them. He inquired about him at every opportunity, and he no longer knew what exactly to say to him.

"I paint, but it's not my work," he admitted. "This... This is the painting that my... ex-partner painted..."

As he spoke the last words, he felt as if his throat was being cut. It was hard for him to think of Jeongguk that way. For the past two years, even though they weren't together, he never thought of him as his ex-partner. Because he still felt like they were in a relationship. He couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

When he finally looked at his companion, he was already looking at him. He was watching him carefully as if he were analyzing something.

"From your tone and the way you look at that painting, I take it that for you, it is not such an 'ex'," the man said.

"Is it that obvious?" Kim asked, though he didn't need an answer at all.

"I know we don't know each other, but if you want... I can listen pretty well," the dark haired man suggested.

Taehyung stared at him for a moment in total silence, as if considering whether he should confide in this man. He was right. He didn't know him. They knew practically nothing about each other. They met a few hours ago when the man entered his studio. But maybe it was easier that way. Tell someone about it who wasn't as emotional as he was. Who will look at everything from a distance.

Without saying anything, he motioned for them to go outside, and as soon as he exited the shop, he slipped a cigarette into his mouth. He set fire to it quickly, inserting the tip into the orange flame spit out by the silver zippo, then held the lighter towards his companion, lighting his cigarette as well. Slipping the lighter into his back pocket, he took a long drag while leaning back against the shop window.

"What we had was really special," he finally confessed. He wasn't looking at the man. He decided it would be easier this way. Instead, he stared straight ahead, his gaze lingering at the other end of the street. "We were from two completely different worlds and everyone around said that it would not work, and yet... We fell in love with each other. So damn hard..."

He paused and inhaled quickly again, to hide the trembling of his voice as he spoke of his feelings for Jeongguk. His feelings were still as vivid as when he confessed his love to him for the first time.

"So what happened?"

"Two years ago... Something... Or rather, someone forced me to leave and... I disappeared overnight without even saying goodbye..." he gasped, feeling the weight of the words settle on his shoulders again. "I've been waiting for him all this time. I literally counted the days till my return to him... Finally, I came back almost three weeks ago..."

The tattoo artist fell silent again. He raised the cigarette to his mouth and took a long drag, this time holding the smoke in his lungs for a long time. It was only when he felt the pain that his lips parted, letting the gray smoke seep through them to dissolve into nothingness.

"I went to him, hoping that... that we would be together again. But another man opened the door and introduced himself as his fiancé..."

"Oh, it's terrible..." the man groaned. "What did he tell you? If you loved each other so much... You don't forget it just like that..."

"I haven't spoken to him. I haven't even seen him. He doesn't know I'm back," he confessed. "I love him and I want him to be happy, so since... I should let him go, right?" He asked suddenly, feeling such a painful urge to get out of here, drive to the apartment on the fourth floor, and take him into his arms again. "I should let him be happy. With him."

"How can you be sure that he will be happy with him?" the elder answered with a question. "How can you be sure he doesn't think about you either? That he is not waiting for you?"

"He got engaged to him," Taehyung gasped, though in his mouth it sounded more like a question than a statement.

At first, he was sure of his decision. He wanted his happiness and thought it was the right choice to step back and let him bloom in other's arms, but the more he thought about it, the more he regretted it. He couldn't sleep at night. He dreamed that it was not a handsome psychiatrist, but Jeongguk, who opened the door to his apartment. He couldn't help wondering what the young artist would do if they met again. Would he be angry with him? Would he scream at him for disappearing without saying a word? Wouldn't he like to know him anymore? Or, on the contrary... He would pull him into his arms and never let him go again. Perhaps he would pull him close and kiss him until they both turned to dust, burned by the heat of their love...

"Fuck, that he got engaged," the older man suddenly protested.

He inhaled sharply on his cigarette, then smashed the cigarette butt on the side of the building and, turning to face him, placed his hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look him directly in the eye.

"You love him," he said firmly. "So if you love him... Fight for him. You were happy then. You can be happy now."

"What if he chooses him?" Taehyung asked, verbalizing his fears in the simplest possible way.

"At least you'll know you tried. There is nothing worse in life than wondering what if..." the man explained, still looking him straight in the eye. "What if he chooses you?" He asked after a moment, not really expecting an answer to his question.

Taehyung swallowed hard, feeling the heart in his chest begin to beat harder, involuntary.

What if Jeongguk chooses him?

He parted his lips delicately, wanting to say something, but no words escaped his throat. The elder obviously guessed that he now had a lot to think about after their conversation. So he nodded and patted him on the shoulder, then stepped back from him and smiled gently.

"I'll keep my fingers crossed for you," he said, then bowed to him and, turning on his heel, started forward.

Taehyung watched him go until the man's silhouette grew so small that he had to squint to see it. Only then was he able to move again. He raised the almost smoked cigarette to his mouth and took a last drag. He was about to put it out and go inside when suddenly something caught his attention. He turned his head and looked at what he caught in the corner of his eye a moment ago.

There was a motorcyclist on the opposite side of the street. The man sat on a shiny black Ducati Diavel. Exactly the same as he always dreamed of. Same as the one Jeongguk rented for them during their stay in Jeju. The stranger was dressed in black almost from head to toe. He wore black jeans with torn rips on his right knee, heavy motorcycle boots, and a leather jacket. Even his hands were covered with black fingerless gloves. He couldn't see his face behind the black helmet, but he was sure the man was watching him.

He couldn't explain it, but even though he couldn't see him, something in his silhouette felt strangely familiar... His strong, sculpted legs, embracing a black machine, such a wonderfully narrow waist that he loved to embrace with his hands, or the broad shoulders that resembled the shape of the shoulders of the one who was his home...

His heart began to beat so hard he thought it was about to literally pop out of his chest. He waited a moment, string almost paralyzed, but the stranger didn't budge. On some strange impulse, he extended his hand and, without looking at the basket, crushed the cigarette on its lid, then walked quickly forward.

"Hey!" He called to attract the motorcyclist's attention, and it was only when the short call escaped from his mouth that the man moved.

To his surprise, however, the stranger did not remove his helmet, which was still hiding his face, and lifted his foot off the ground, getting ready to start the engine.

"Hey! Wait!" He shouted, glancing quickly from side to side so as not to accidentally run under the wheels of an oncoming car as he ran out onto the street between them.

Before he could take two steps on the black asphalt, however, the motorcyclist started the engine and started with a squeal of tires, leaving only clouds of dust behind him...

***

The tattoo artist finished cleaning his station and walked over to the garbage can to throw dirty paper towels into it. He stripped off his latex gloves and tossed them in the bin as well, then turned back to the leather couch. He scanned the entire room one last time to make sure he was leaving the studio in the best possible condition, and finally headed for the exit. Turning off the light, he crossed the threshold and carefully closed the door behind him. He crossed the rows of paint-filled shelves and started toward the reception desk. Passing Jeongguk's painting, he involuntarily shifted his gaze to it.

For the past year, this painting has stood beside his bed. Each morning, it was the first thing he saw as soon as he opened his eyes and the last thing he saw just before falling asleep. Looking at the picture, he counted the days until he could take his hand again and laced their fingers together. Now that desire seemed unattainable...

Today, however, he had a completely different thought in his head...

What if he chooses you?

He hadn't stopped thinking about it for a moment since talking to this client a few hours ago. Should he speak to him and tell him he's back? Shouldn't Jeongguk learn the truth before he decides to tie his life with Yugyeom? After all, if he really loves this man, his return will not change anything... He will only be an ex-partner for him. Someone he once knew.

Someone he once loved...

Maybe even if Jeongguk chooses to live with a handsome psychiatrist, there will still be a place for him in his life? Maybe they could be friends again?

No. He knew they couldn't.

He couldn't be friends with him. His feelings were too strong. Too alive. And he couldn't imagine the day he would ever stop loving him... So he knew he wouldn't be able to see the man he loved being with someone else...

Feeling his chest tighten at the thought, he grabbed his leather jacket violently and tossed it over his strong shoulders. He slid a hand into the dark curls, brushing the soft strands back, then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He had a while before he had to pick up Jae from kindergarten, so he didn't have to rush. He took a cigarette from the box and slipped it between his lips when the sound of the door opening crept into his ears. So he grabbed the pipe in his slender fingers and took it out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, but I'm closing it right now," he said quickly, and turned on his heel to look back.

But what he saw made him almost freeze in mid-step. On the doorstep of the store, he spotted the biker he had seen hours earlier. The man was tall. In his heavy motorcycle boots, he was almost the same height as he was, with suede boots brought from Milan on his feet. Now, however, his leather jacket was unbuttoned, and he could see his strong chest tucked in only a thin white T-shirt. The stranger still had the helmet on his head, so he couldn't see his face, but something about his body made the heart in his chest go crazy like a tethered wild animal. It seemed to him that time had slowed down, and the air had disappeared somewhere. He wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in his throat.

The stranger removed the black leather gloves from his hands and tucked them into the pocket of his black jacket, then slowly raised his hands to finally grasp his helmet. Taehyung couldn't explain it, but before the man could take it off, he was sure who he would see. The motorcyclist's fingers tightened on his helmet, but he hesitated for a few seconds, as if he weren't quite sure if he should reveal his identity, but finally slipped the helmet off.

The first thing Taehyung could see was shiny, almost jet black hair tied in a tiny ponytail with a few unruly strands falling over those beautiful, dark chocolate-colored doe eyes that he knew so well...

And in an instant everything disappeared...

There was only him...

Jeongguk looked more beautiful now than ever before. He was exactly as he had imagined him in a few years when he thought about their future together. There was some new certainty emanating from him that made him seem even sexier than he remembered. And at the same time there was a strange calmness in him, as if he was finally exactly where he always wanted to be...

"J-Jeongguk..." he finally gasped, unable to tear his gaze away from him.

But he didn't move, as if he was afraid that even the slightest gesture might frighten him or make this strange vision fade into nothingness, like the previous ones he had sometimes seen. The heart in his chest was pounding so hard he thought his beating was now echoing loudly off all the walls, muffling the sound of his troubled breathing. He parted his lips to say something, but was unable to say a word. Jeongguk was also silent. He stared at him as if he didn't believe he really saw him. Taehyung unconsciously measured his figure with his eyes, gliding along it from head to toe, slowly absorbing his sight.

The boy certainly did not stop exercising during their separation. His legs were long and muscular. Perhaps even stronger than before. Now clad in black, skin-tight jeans with a slit on his right knee, allowing him to see his smooth, milky skin. The thin T-shirt clung to the chest, now moving with rapid breathing. A black leather jacket concealed his broad shoulders. However, what was brand new about him was the fact that there were now a few piercings in his ears, and that delicate, soft lower lip that he had always loved to suck and bite was now adorned with silver labret. His dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail and his sides shaved for a few millimeters. He almost reflexively shifted his gaze to his hands, still clenched on the motorcycle helmet, as if to check if the boy had an engagement ring, but to his surprise, he saw nothing. However, as he glanced over his chest again, heading towards the dark irises, he noticed that there was a delicate silver chain hanging around his neck, and at the very end of it hung a beautiful, tungsten engagement ring...

And that was enough to make him feel the sharp pain in his chest again, as if he had lost him again, even though he may not have been his for a long time...

"So it's really you..." Jeongguk said suddenly, still unable to tear his dark eyes away from him. "I feel... I feel like I'm dreaming," he admitted, briefly lifting the corners of his lips in a slightly embarrassed smile. "I had no idea you came back..." he added.

Taehyung parted his lips to speak, but the words stuck in his throat. Seeing this, Jeongguk looked carefully around as he glanced around the shop's furnishings. Inside, you could find everything that any artist could dream about. Someone had to do a good job to arrange this place so thoroughly, and he realized that such a store cannot be opened in one day. He looked at the tattoo artist again, his brows furrowed together.

"This is your store?" He asked, though he didn't need an answer at all. He knew it before he asked that question. "When did you come back, Tae?" He asked again. There was something strange in his voice this time. Some strange reproach. Some harshness.

"Almost three weeks ago," the tattoo artist finally admitted.

Jeongguk was silent for a moment, as if he were considering his words. All this time, he avoided looking at him. He stuck his dark irises into his hands, still covered by the scars that had formed on them more than two years ago. Some were less visible now, but even from this distance, Taehyung could see the one that cut nearly all of his hand and which he used to kiss, to show him that he loved every part of him.

Was Yugyeom kissing his scars now, telling him how beautiful he was?

"W-Why didn't you tell me?" The brunet asked suddenly, finally finding the courage to look him straight in the eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you came back?"

Taehyung wet his lower lip with his tongue and ran his hand almost involuntarily through his dark hair. Jeongguk glanced at his hand for a moment and saw that the tattoo artist's skin was embellished with a new tattoo — a red thread tied on the little finger of his left hand.

"Jeongguk..." the tattoo artist gasped.

His voice was a bit strange. The brunet was unable to interpret the strange note he picked up, but he could easily see that the man had pronounced his name in some unnatural way. Taehyung rarely used his full name. He usually called him "Gguk," and his tongue caressed every vowel and consonant with as much tenderness as no one else. Now his name sounded somehow stern, as if the man was in physical pain being forced to pronounce it aloud.

"Were you even going to tell me you came back?" He asked, though it didn't sound like a question this time.

He couldn't explain it, and he didn't know why, but when he met the gaze of the tattoo artist's onyx eyes, he knew the answer.

Taehyung had no intention of telling him about his return...

At the thought, he felt a strong pain in his chest and for a moment he felt like turning on his heel and walking out of there, but something prevented him from doing it...

So he summoned all his courage and again found the gaze of the man for whom he had once been the whole world, and asked the question that had been on the tip of his tongue for two years. He was so afraid to hear the answer, but even if it would kill him...

He had to know.

"Why did you leave? Why... Why did you leave me?"

His voice was filled with pain. He couldn't contain his emotions enough to sound like a simple question to an ex-friend. Because it wasn't a question for someone he once knew. It was a question for someone he was still dreaming about at night and who he missed so much his whole body was longing. And now... Being so close yet so far... He had the feeling that he was dying again.

"J-Jeongguk," the tattooist gasped. "Please... let's not do this..." he added, his voice almost pleading.

He parted his lips as if to add something, but then closed them again, briefly wondering what and how he should say. This time, however, the severeness that the young artist had caught previously was not heard in his voice. This time he pronounced his name as if he were saying the name of his lost love.

"You've moved on," he said finally, struggling to control his emotions. "T-there is no point in going back to the past..."

Jeongguk put his helmet aside and almost involuntarily ran a hand through his hair, brushing back one unruly strand that had fallen on his forehead moments before, then let out a loud breath from his lungs as if he had been holding his breath all this time.

"I've moved on?" He repeated, as if what he heard was simply ridiculous to him. "I can't move on because I'm stuck in the past all the time!" He replied, raising his voice. "I... I can't start building my life all over again if I don't find out what happened then. I need to know why the man..." He paused, trying to control the emotions that now seemed to flood him and drag him under the dark surface of the murky water. "Why did the man whom I loved so much disappear without a word... Why did someone without whom I could not imagine my life decide to spend his life without me..."

The young artist fell silent again. His breathing became noticeably faster, and his movements became more nervous. He ran his hand through his hair again, and it was easy for Taehyung to see that his hand was shaking, and instinctively he took a step forward, but he quickly backed away again, as if he feared that if the distance between them became smaller, he wouldn't be able to stop himself anymore. He wanted to take him in his arms and tell him the truth, whispering in his ear how much he loved him, but he only clenched his fists tighter, digging his nails into the palm of his hands so hard it almost caused him physical pain.

But anything was better than what he felt, knowing he had lost him...

"Is it because of what I did?" Jeongguk asked suddenly, looking up at him again. "Did... did I say something that..."

"No!" Kim quickly protested, unable to bear the thought that Jeongguk might blame himself for what had happened. "You didn't do anything... I..." He paused for a moment, as if trying to come up with a lie quickly, but he knew well that he would never be able to lie to him. "I've never loved anyone so much..." he confessed.

An involuntary sigh escaped from the brunet's mouth at this confession, as if he could breathe a deep breath for the first time in two years.

"Then why?"

Taehyung lifted a trembling hand and ran it over his neck, clearly struggling with his thoughts as to whether or not he should tell him the truth. Jeongguk was watching him closely. He didn't think he'd ever seen a tattoo artist so nervous before. He looked just like when he was about to tell him the truth about Jiwon's father. But he couldn't understand what was keeping him from confessing the truth. Was Taehyung afraid of someone? Was he in danger and that's why he disappeared? He wanted to put his arms around him to prove to him that he had nothing to fear, but he restrained himself.

"Jiwon," the tattoo artist said suddenly, finally shifting his beautiful onyx eyes to him. "It was Jiwon who made me disappear," he finally confessed, exhaling loudly from his lungs.

And as the words rolled from his tongue, an involuntary groan escaped from the lips of the young artist. Instinctively, he put his hand over his mouth and blinked a few times, feeling tears welling up in his eyes.

He could feel it.

He knew Taehyung would never leave him willingly, but he never had evidence that his ex-fiancée had put a hand in his disappearance. Just the thought that it was true made his heart shatter in his chest.

"That day..." the tattoo artist continued. He knew that once he had spoken his ex-partner's name, there was no point in hiding the truth any longer. "When I was on my way to pick up Jae from kindergarten, it turned out that there was an accident on the road. There was a terrible traffic jam. I was literally standing still. I didn't want Jae to be alone in kindergarten, so I pulled over to a random parking spot and got out of the car. I did the rest of the route on foot. I tried calling kindergarten to let them know I was going to be late, but my cell phone went dead. When I finally got there, it turned out that the intern I once saw there was closing the kindergarten... I asked her where Jae was, because the baby was nowhere to be found, and she would tell me that someone picked him up... At first, I thought it was you, although you always warned me that you would take him away, so I wouldn't worry. But who else could pick him up?"

The tattoo artist fell silent, as if the emotions that accompanied him back then were still alive. He had never been so scared in his life as then...

"She told me Jae was picked up by his mom..." he confessed.

"Lisa..." the artist whispered.

"I have no idea how Jiwon knew what kindergarten Jae was attending, but you can't even imagine how terrified I was when I found out she took him away. I did not know what to do. Call the police? My cell phone was dead, so I instinctively started running around in the hope she hadn't gone far with him, and I found them at a nearby playground. I grabbed Jae in my arms and I wanted to run away with him as far as possible, but Jiwon..." He suspended his voice and ran his tongue over his lower lip, feeling his mouth dry with nerves.

He knew that the woman no longer had the advantage she had then, but even so, the memory of these events was incredibly painful. He raised Jae on his own almost from the very beginning. The little one was his whole world. He would have sacrificed everything for him, and he could only lose him because, in the eyes of heartless lawyers and judges, he was a worse parent than Jiwon.

"She showed me the papers she had prepared and threatened that if I didn't disappear, she would go to court with them and take Jae away from me," he said finally after a moment of silence. "There were documents you must have seen before, the ones from the beating of Jiwon's father, photos of her forensic examination with her testimony that I had beaten her. Information about where I work and what I do. I was so nervous that I couldn't even see through the whole thing, but what I saw... I knew if she took it to court... They would take Jae away from me, Gguk..."

"You could have told me... We could go to the lawyer together..." the young artist interjected. "I would help you..."

"Gguk, we both know how it works. No matter how much money you spend on the lawyers... They'd take him away from me."

There was silence again for a moment. Jeongguk parted his lips to speak, but closed them back again. He knew Taehyung was right. Lisa also had money and connections. She was able to wrap people around her little finger. And additionally with these documents...

Nobody would believe them.

"Jiwon promised me that if I disappeared... She would give up her parental rights to Jae and I would have full custody of him, but she had one more condition..."

"She wanted you to disappear without a word..." the young artist guessed, and the tattoo artist nodded.

"And not try to contact you for the next two years. Two years after my departure, I was to get documents. If I had broken our contract earlier... she would have gone to court with the papers..."

"It's all my fault... I brought her back into your life..." Jeongguk whispered.

"Gguk," the tattoo artist said, and the young artist returned his gaze to him.

Taehyung pronounced his name exactly as he did when they were together. He pronounced it as if he still loved him.

"It's not your fault. There was nothing you could do," he added quickly. "Jiwon arranged a passport for Jae and gave me the money for the tickets. So I packed my things and I left... I couldn't tell you anything or say goodbye to you, but... I had to tell you somehow that..." He broke off, feeling his throat tighten painfully.

He wanted to tell him so badly that he never stopped loving him.

Neither then nor now...

To his surprise, Jeongguk pulled up the sleeve of his leather jacket to show him what was on his left wrist and grabbed a red bracelet between his fingers.

"I still have it," he confessed.

He was silent for a moment, only playing with the red string. He felt so many emotions now that it seemed to him that in a moment he would crumble to dust. He looked away, trying to hold back the tears that were involuntarily pressing into his eyes, and suddenly he caught something out of the corner of his eye. He turned his face and blinked a few times, unable to believe his eyes.

On the wall in the main place, he saw one of his paintings...

The painting somebody bought the night he was chasing him in the pouring rain in Milan...

He looked back at the tattoo artist. And when he looked at him, he noticed that Taehyung was already looking at him. He smiled gently, as if he knew what the young artist was thinking.

"I was there then," he admitted. "I was invited to this exhibition by a friend. I had no idea who the artist was, but when I read the description of this exhibition... I felt as if someone had put my own feelings into words... I missed you so much. So much so that it seemed to me that you couldn't miss more... But every day I missed you more and more... When I saw these paintings... I couldn't believe my eyes... I was afraid that maybe you don't think about me anymore. That... And then I saw you..."

"They told me that I was delusional... That I was chasing a ghost that only looks like you... But I felt that this time it was really you..." the brunet confessed, hastily wiping the tear that rolled down his cheek with his hand.

"I couldn't stop," the tattoo artist explained. "I still had no papers, and I was afraid that Jiwon might not sign them. I couldn't risk it."

"And now? You came back..." the brunet started, but he did not dare to finish the question.

"Jiwon kept her promise," the man revealed. "She signed the papers, and now I'm Jae's sole legal guardian. Jiwon no longer has any rights to him. And... It's been two years, so... I could come back..." He paused for a few seconds. "I could come back home..." he finished, though, even though he wanted to say something else.

Because it was never really about coming home...

"If... if you don't need to stay away from me..." Jeon began suddenly, his voice clearly uncertain. He shifted from foot to foot, feeling the pressure in his chest building up, making it difficult to breathe normally. He moistened his lips and swallowed hard. "Then why didn't you tell me you came back?"

"Gguk..." the tattoo artist groaned, as if his words hurt him, but Jeongguk felt he couldn't back down now.

No, now that he was so close to knowing the whole truth. He knew there was still something the tattoo artist was hiding from him, and he knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't be able to lie to him. Not him.

Taehyung never lied.

"Why did you want to hide it from me?"

"I-I think you know why..."

The dark-haired boy drew his eyebrows together as if he really had no idea what the tattoo artist was talking about.

"I don't understand..."

"Gguk... You suffered so much because of me... I destroyed your relationship with Lisa, turned your life upside down, and then disappeared without a word, leaving you with a million questions unanswered and a broken heart. Because of me, you quit your job at TJE and... you lost contact with your father... I can't come back just like that after two years and mess with your life again, when you finally start to build your life anew..." he paused for a few moments and moistened his lips, then looked him straight in the eyes. "With someone else..." he added, feeling his heart breaking into a million tiny pieces again at these words.

He knew he should enjoy his happiness. He always wanted Jeongguk to finally spread his wings and learn to fly. But it was hard to come to terms with the fact that the love of his life would not be happy with him. Watching someone you love someone else... It was something you couldn't prepare for...

"Tae..." the young artist began hesitantly.

"You don't have to hide it from me, Gguk. I know you haven't even told Jimin about it, but I know..." he explained. "I met your fiancé..."

"Fiancé," the brunet repeated, as if he had not heard his words. "You talk to Yugyeom?" He asked surprised. "When?"

He had chaos in his head. He had no idea that Yugyeom and Taehyung had met. The psychiatrist didn't say a word about it, even though he knew what they had in common and how much Taehyung meant to him. He was also surprised by how the tattoo artist named the man. He did not call him his partner. He used the word "fiancé", and so far he has not told anyone about the psychiatrist's proposal.

"When did you talk to him?" He asked again, drawing his perfect eyebrows together.

"The next day after my return..." Kim began to explain. "I went to see you," he confessed. "Jimin told me you bought my apartment. When I got there, Yugyeom opened for me. I was confused. I thought that maybe I was so nervous that I chose the wrong apartment, but when I asked about you... He told me that his fiancé was taking a shower... He didn't know who I was, so... I lied that I was a courier, left flowers and ran away like a coward," he added with clear bitterness, then snorted gently under his breath at the thought of how pathetic that must sound.

Jeongguk, however, did not seem amused by his story at all. On the contrary. He seemed to be analyzing something intensely. His perfect eyebrows were pulled together in an unnatural grimace, and his eyes narrowed slightly. He looked as if he was going through memories in his head, trying to connect the facts. Finally he looked at him again.

"Flowers?" He repeated, as if he had just realized the meaning of his words. "Tae, when exactly was that?" He asked. "What day was that?"

Taehyung didn't know why Jeongguk just thought it was so important. He did not feel that this date mattered much.

"It was the day of your exhibition," he replied, however.

The brunet parted lips, letting the loud sigh break out of them, as if he suddenly realized something important.

"So those flowers... Purple azaleas... That was a bouquet from you?" He asked, though he didn't have to hear his answer to know.

He knew it then.

He felt it was a bouquet that only Taehyung could give him.

"It was the same bouquet that I didn't have time to give you that day..." the tattoo artist confessed, smiling sadly.

Jeongguk said nothing. But he took a few steps towards him, carefully walking the distance between them, and stopped only a few centimeters from the tattoo artist. From this distance, he could smell the wonderful and familiar scent of his perfume. He moistened his lips and found his onyx irises.

"If Yugyeom hadn't opened to you, then..." he began hesitantly. "If it were me... What were you going to tell me?"

"Jeongguk... please..."

"What were you going to tell me?" He repeated firmly, staring directly into his eyes with determination.

"You know I can't answer that question..." the tattoo artist gasped.

As the words rolled from his lips, the gaze of the young artist's dark eyes for a few seconds followed the movement of his lips, trembling delicately.

He guessed why the tattoo artist wouldn't answer his question, but he needed to know the truth...

So, pushed by some strange impulse, he took one more step forward and did something that might give him answers to all the questions he would not dare to ask aloud...

His hands tightened on his black T-shirt and, pulling him towards him, he kissed him...

His lips were so familiar and yet so new. Warm, slightly rough, and just as intoxicating as the first time they kissed in the pouring rain on one of Seoul's streets. He felt his lips tingle, as if sparks flickered between their lips every time he caressed the soft skin. The kiss was gentle, at first hesitant, as if they were both afraid of rejection, but after a while he felt the tattoo artist's lips part more, his hands tightening on his leather jacket, and his body pressed against his, drawn by some magical force. It was enough for him to part his own lips more, stick out his tongue and touch the tongue of the tattoo artist, and after a while he would slip it inside his mouth. So wonderfully hot and familiar.

And suddenly it was as if they had never stopped kissing.

As if those two years of separation never happened. As if they were standing on the hot sand on the beautiful island of Jeju again, bathed in the rays of the rising sun. Their hearts beat hard, finding one common rhythm, just like their tongues, joined together in erotic rumba.

They only broke away from each other when their lungs began to rebel, but for a moment they stood with their eyes closed, their foreheads pressed against each other, letting their breaths mix into one, smashing against the edges of their lips moist with saliva.

"I knew that you alone would never be able to lie to me..." the young artist confessed directly on his lips, finally opening his eyes.

As he did so, he met the gaze of those beautiful onyx irises staring directly at him. He raised his hand and traced the tattoo artist's cheek with his fingertips, feeling the fine stubble under his fingers.

"My rebellious gnome," he whispered, letting the corners of his lips lift gently for a few seconds.

Taehyung parted his lips to speak, but before any words came out of his mouth, Jeongguk moved away from him, returning to his previous place. He grasped the helmet in his hands and turned on his heel, then started toward the exit.

"G-Gguk!" The tattoo artist called after him, clearly surprised by his behavior. "Where are you going?" He asked, confused.

He ran his tongue over his lips almost involuntarily, as if to make sure they were really kissing a moment ago. He had a million questions in his head. He did not know why the young artist decided to kiss him, despite his engagement.

Was there a chance he still loved him too?

The brunet approached the exit, defeating the road in a few springy steps, then pushed the door of the store and turned his face towards him one last time. He raised his hand and almost involuntarily grabbed the engagement ring hanging on the thin chain in his slender fingers and tightened his hand on it.

"I'm going to write my own ending to this fairy tale..." he replied, looking him straight in the eyes, then turned back and ran outside, disappearing through the door.

Moments later, the loud murmur of a Ducati Diavel accelerating rapidly on a Seoul street crept into the tattooist's ears.

***

THE END

Ayashee:

It's hard to believe, but the last chapter of The Taste Of Ink is behind us. Only the epilogue left...

Jeongguk is going to create the ending to his fairy tale himself...

What will it be like?

Will he decide to break off his engagement with a handsome psychiatrist?

Or maybe two years of separation is too long to be able to go back to what it was?

Do he and Taehyung still have a chance?

Why did Jeongguk kiss Tae? Will this kiss somehow influence his decision?

xoxo