Hey, do you know that meme - "it aint much but it's honest work"? 😆
Anyway, I have just as much as this already written so expect another chapter in a few days 😏
Also I've made my inner peace with how to finish this story already so I could finally start the next one🙈
It was almost four o' clock on Thursday when I met the little group, ready to leave for the fan zone beside the track. Max was fiddling with his phone not even looking at me, while Vicki and Daniel were smiling already like crazy from afar.
“Hello,” I smiled back at them.
“Hi,” said Vicki but the next second her phone went off. She answered it before saying a silent but furious "Fuck!" and didn’t even hang up until we arrived at the session.
I felt a soft touch on the small of my back. I turned to my side, and saw Daniel smirking down at me.
“Hey,” he smiled. “I missed you this morning,” he said just loud enough for me to hear. His closeness could have been enough to make me blush on the cheeks not to mention these words. I tried to rub the itch to hug him right there with a comeback.
“Well, I've been missing you all day,” I snapped.
Maybe it was a bit childish, but I craved so much touching his soft, curly hair, and kissing his lips so much at that moment. Not being able to do that anytime I wanted - especially that we spent the last few days close together - made me angry and bitter.
We couldn’t even finish our little encounter because Aurelie arrived and we needed to leave asap for their next event on the list.
In the fan zone the atmosphere was really unique - one might even say crazy. There was an incredible amount of fans waiting with the hope to catch a glimpse of their favourite drivers, and the lines for the autograph session were so long I was sure there’s no way of finishing it the whole weekend - not in two hours.
“Super Max-Max-Max-Super Max,” we could hear in the loud cheering, also with a lot of “Daniel!” “Honey badger is here!”
My newly developed jealousy growled in my stomach repeatedly but then I saw the guys getting excited and smiling like freaks - they couldn't have been more enthusiastic about meeting their fans - so I just accepted that today is not going to be a romantic night either.
I sat down next to Vicki with a defeated sigh.
“Japan is always like that,” she seemed to read my mind. “Well, last year the typhoon made a lot of things easier,” she chuckled. “Guys only left their rooms to play FIFA with each other. God, I was almost bored! Most important task for the whole day was to prevent Lando from live streaming, especially when Max lost the final match to Carlos. You can imagine," she gave me a side eye as I giggled. "But now it's twice as crowded than usual because of all the missed meetings last year,” she nodded.
“Yes, I guess I see that,” I agreed scanning the crowd once again.
Vicki rested her gaze a second longer on me, and it occured to me that something else might be also on the table.
“So,” she started again with a snug smile on her face after a few silent minutes, but she was cut by her phone that rang again.
She excused herself with a death stare on her phone and walked a few steps away before answering it. I sighed, crossed my arms huffishly and leaned back in my seat.
And now, that’ll be it. She usually speaks for hours.
For a while I watched the guys having fun with the fans before my encounter with Charles found its way back to my consciousness.
Girl, you can't be that dumbass not meeting him. You don’t even know what to do with your time here anyways.
He said he is lonely and hurt.
Hurt - partly because of you.
How could you respond to that like some heartless bitch?
What on earth would you do instead of a little friendly talk?
Fangirling over Daniel, sitting in the corner waiting for him to scratch behind your ears?
I took out my phone and chewed on my lips while my fingers were waiting patiently over the keypad. After some heavy minutes spent debating, I tapped on the Monégasque’s name.
Of course, he picked up in no time.
Of course, he was free that evening.
Of course, he could agree on anything that suited me.
I wrinkled my nose as I hung up, and wiggled in my chair. My eyes shifted towards our boys once more - Max was heatedly explaining to a woman how the colours of the Dutch flag are in the correct order. The one she painted was disastrously mixed up. Meanwhile Daniel was taking photographs with some schoolgirls.
I briefly looked back at my phone when I heard my name.
“CLARA!”
It was Daniel shouting that made me jump up instantly. I saw he was standing by the front row where the thickest the crowd was. I hurried to him, to see better what it was about. I noticed a young girl half laying on the ground.
“I think she fainted,” Daniel explained with a worried voice, but I only heard it in the back of my mind, my autopilot mode was already switched on.
Fuck, it was hot, and at least five hundred people where gathered in between the fences. No shade. No water. Where is event security? She’d been here for hours waiting for sure.
AND WHY THE FUCK EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE LIFTED UP THE NANOSECOND THEY FAINT? WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE'S COMMON SENSE?
I was not waiting for security to clear the way, I jumped the fence - which I’d normally account as an extraordinary achievement of mine but at that moment I didn't even think about what I was doing.
I hopped down to kneel beside the girl, who seemed to appear unconscious. She was local, very skinny and young - maximum around eighteen years old. She was wearing a black t-shirt with Daniel’s photograph in a sparkly heart shape.
“It’s OK, please back off a bit,” I asked the people standing closest, so she could have some fresh air. “And release her, please. Yes, just lay her down,” I told the man who was still desperate to revive her by making her stand up. Instead, I lifted her legs to make the blood flush from there upwards, and checked her pulse, but it seemed fine.
Surely, it was just a simple faint caused by dehydration and exhaustion. Daniel and Vicki were leaning over the railing, watching what I was doing.
Fortunately the security guards managed to open the fence, so we could take the girl backstage.
Daniel was extremely sweet, asking constantly how he could help. I already sent Vicki back to manage the situation outside and chaperone Max, and I was determined to ask Daniel the same.
“Thanks, I'll manage from here, I just need to find my bag to prepare an infusion,” I said as we carefully laid her down to a sofa.
“Cool, so I think I'll go back?” He half asked, as he watched his fan with much concern.
“Yes, it’ll take a while,” I nodded, and was already raking through my medical bag.
The next second we heard a little, weak grunt, and the girl’s eyes slowly opened. She was blinking around slowly like a sleepy deer.
“HEYY,” Daniel shrieked happily and hurried closer to check on his fan.
The girl smiled weakly at him, constantly fluttering her lashes.
“Daniel. Ricciardo,” she murmured. “Where am I?”
Daniel looked around a little helpless, making a funny grimace.
“Uhm… some backstage tent? Don’t worry I don’t have any idea either,” he giggled, scratching his nape.
The girl tried to sit up, but I was faster, gently pushing on her shoulder to make her stay where she was.
“Oh no, please stay flat. I need to examine you, then we will see if you need any further assessment…” I explained, but the girl shook her head.
“No, no.”
I took a deep breath.
“Listen, you just fainted. What is your name?”
She ducked her head to look at Daniel, and then she said “Hanako. But you can call me Hanna.”
“You see, Hanna,” I was desperate to establish eye contact with her, but she was more into grinning at Daniel, eyelashes still fluttering. “You need to drink this glass of water and let me check your blood pressure.”
“No, no,” she kept shaking her head.
“Danny, I am your biggest fan,” she breathed, staring at Daniel.
“Oh really?” Daniel asked. He seemed thrilled about Hanna feeling better and cheerfully engaged in the chat.
I sighed, placed the glass next to her and stood up.
From then on, I began to feel a bit sceptical about this whole situation.
I furrowed my brows, and watched them chitty-chat. Hanna doesn’t seem to be weak at all, and she magically regained her consciousness just the second I mentioned giving her an infusion.
I watched her, now asking for a hug from his idol.
Girl, what a move!
I shook my head, and decided to head out of the tent.
“Clara? Where are you going?” I heard Daniel asking. He was looking at me like I was about to leave them at the side of a road.
It made me roll my eyes.
“There’s clearly no emergency here,” I shot a look at Hanna.
“But she just woke up!” Daniel blinked at me as he couldn't believe my attitude.
I scoffed again.
"Woke up."
My ass.
“Oh yes, I saw that. It's a miracle," I crossed my arms over my chest. "But look, she doesn’t let me take an exam. And she looks just fine from here,” I barked.
I saw Daniel was not convinced by my explanation at all, but his attention was immediately averted by “his biggest fan”.
“I… I feel weak. Still,” she sighed, and her voice was far more squeaky than seconds before.
“See?” Daniel asked me with a slightly accusing look in his eyes. "She says she is weak!"
“Then you can guard her,” I snorted and I simply walked out of the tent.
There was no way Hanna really fainted. I was then sure as hell she faked the whole thing, so she gets a chance to get closer to her idol. I was no fan of this kind of drama, and I also felt cheated personally - I honestly thought I was once more needed in a kind of emergency - then it turns out to be simply a childish mischief.
I waved off the concerned look of Max and Vicki and spent the rest of the event hiding behind curtains.
Daniel returned for the end of the session, looking somewhat calmer than before, but still puzzled.
“Hey,” Vicki stepped next to me before we got in the cars. “How about dinner later?”
Shoot. Not good.
Charles.
I blinked at her, because I didn’t understand. They were supposed to have a dinner arranged till ten pm - I might have seen Daniel’s schedule briefly.
“Wait, I thought you’re going to that sushi dinner with the sponsors…” I frowned.
“Well yes, but not me,” she grinned. “Just these two idiots.”
Oh that truly ached, because I really wanted to chat with Vicki. She was the only person I truly got on well with - apart from the boys of course. But hey, they - well, they seemed occupied well enough not to notice my existence.
However, I knew I’d feel the sting of consciousness until I managed to meet Charles.
“I can’t,” I grimaced. “Maybe tomorrow morning?”
She shook her head.
“No way, early meetings.”
I groaned in disappointment.
That also probably meant early meetings for Daniel too.
“Anyway, we’ll find the time somehow,” she smiled and patted my shoulder reassuringly.
And with that, they got in the car as I was staying behind ready to turn and find a taxi back to the hotel.
“Wait, Clara are you not coming?” Daniel squeezed his head through the opening of the window.
I turned back and shook my head.
“Nah, I’m returning to the paddock. I have a thing…” Well that said out loud was a bit weirder than I intended to.
I saw him pausing for a brief second, then he nodded with his usual ease.
“All right, see you then,” he waved and he disappeared behind the tinted glass.
Well that felt awkward, and the easiness in his voice felt strangely painful.
Whatever. I needed to get ready to meet Charles - although it was my mind that needed the most preparation.
Charles offered to meet me at a truly lovely place. It was an authentic local Japanese tea house a little off the beaten path - with a discrete atmosphere which we were both grateful for.
As I arrived I saw he was already sitting at a small table by the garden pond. I recognised his signature bandana on his forehead from far away - it made me smirk, it meant he hadn't washed his hair in spite of it being media day. He tapped on his phone quickly, maybe to check the time - his feet nervously bouncing under the table. Some wrinkles just appeared on his forehead as he sank in deep concentration while reading the menu.
"Hi," I smiled as I stepped behind him. "Anything you'd recommend?"
He winced as he heard my voice - I obviously got him by surprise. I giggled and took a seat on the other side of the table.
"Sorry, I tried to understand the menu. It's really confusing even in English," he explained shyly, turning the little leaflet towards me.
It took us a while but in the end we managed to figure out what to order with the help of the waiter and engaged in a light chat.
"So, how have you been?" He asked in a casual tone.
For some reason I felt he only asked that out of politeness. However, I hurried to answer.
"I'm fine, thank you. Got some rest and tried to deal with all the craziness around here."
His cheeky smile slowly turned up.
"Yeah, I think it must be similar for Red Bull here like for Ferrari in Monza," he giggled.
"Oh, well. I remember that one, believe me it is worse here!" I snorted.
"You know," he raised his gaze to meet mine, "you are still welcome at our garage anytime. It's less crowded now. Plus Seb misses you," he added with a smirk.
I blushed slightly as I thought about his proposition - as absurd and awkward it seemed, at that moment it was actually a nice thought - the Ferrari Home was a place where one could always find somebody who had several minutes for a chat.
"How are you?" I asked him suddenly and I hoped the flash question would end up getting an honest answer.
His smile slowly faded as he stirred his coffee once more.
"You know, it is so hard to be here," he said quietly, his eyes now fixed on the koi fish lazily swimming in the pond.
I believe I saw his eyes getting teary at once, he even blinked a couple times, still looking away.
I also felt my throat become slightly heavier from the sight.
More than a minute passed when he continued, clearly struggling to find the words.
"Still, after all these years I am waiting for him to knock on my door, asking if I am up for a game… But he is never going to come again."
He gulped, and I leaned back in my seat - maybe to prevent myself from reaching out for his hand leaning on the table.
"You know I can't even remember the last time we talked," he continued after a brief silence. "It's such a strange thing. You never know if once is the last time with someone you love or not," he said and I just recognised he was looking at me again, his eyes trying to lock my gaze.
His eyes reflected all of his sadness and despair.
My heart ached for him but I managed to fabricate a weak smile.
"I know, it must be so hard. But you keep Jules' memory alive and you should be proud of the unique connection you two had," I said.
He looked at me for a few seconds before saying - "Yeah, you are right."
I waited for a few moments to let him talk more of Jules if he wanted but he remained silent.
I decided maybe a change of subject would put him out of his misery.
"Hey, did you check on Pierre lately?"
The plan totally worked, his face definitely lit up.
"Oh yes! We Facetimed yesterday. He does a lot of physio and it's brutal but he is improving. He hopes Emilia doesn't enchant his mechanics and engineers while he's away so they forget to call him back next year," he grinned.
I laughed with him thinking about Alpha Tauri's substitute driver who recently performed so great that even Helmut Marko let out a grin while on camera - of course it went viral immediately. Although he was not the only one impressed by the young German driver…
"Tell that to Lando! I saw them together the other day. They seemed very friendly to me." I added confidently.
But Charles only shook his head.
"They are friends," he insisted.
"Whatever you say," I shrugged unconvinced.
We managed to talk for a while unbothered and I was honestly surprised that it turned out to actually be a pleasant chat - that type that could have been and everyday conversation between good friends. Such as, I almost forgot about everything else, and it was past dinner time when I realised I needed to go.
Charles was nice enough to offer to take me back to our hotel. His mood improved a lot by that time. He's even found and showed me his most charming smile as we arrived at the parking lot of my hotel.
However, seeing his pinky cheeks made my stomach twist an uneasy way.
Hey. Don’t smile with that smile to me.
We’re friends.
Just friends.
Right?
“Clara,” he began. “It felt really nice to talk to you.”
I nodded.
"Yes it was, thank you."
He averted his gaze, looking around, thinking.
"I wish we had been talking more, you know? Back then." He still didn't look at me, but I felt like his words were a shot through my spine. He had me there and I didn't know what to say.
Yes Charles, relationships based on sex never really work out.
I'm sorry too.
After a few seconds of silence - while I was debating whether if there was anything else to be said - I sighed and reached for the handle on my door.
“Thanks for the tea and the ride Charles. See you around.”
“Yeah,” he nodded. I've felt a pinch of disappointment in his voice but I made myself get out of the car no matter what.
I did my job there.
It didn’t make me feel better when I finally took my phone out of my bag in the elevator - which I carefully turned to silent before our meeting - I saw the missed calls and one message from Daniel.
Hey, our last meeting was cancelled. I'm free for the night! Meet me in my room?
Sent more than an hour ago. I bit my lips and cursed myself.
Always making the wrong choices.
As I arrived to my floor, I nearly bumped into Vicki who was just about to get in the elevator.
“Hey! Clara! You are back!” Her face lit up as she recognised I was the one arriving. “I just checked your room in hope you are back already. Still wanna talk?”
“Oh, OK,” I nodded, and I couldn’t say no to her over-enthusiastic self.
After all, I was the first who said that I wanted to talk to her.
Well, you wanted other things too.
The "other things" is probably waiting for me in his room.
For hours now.
We went to my room, and Vicki ceremoniously sat down and made herself comfortable on my bed. She waited for me to lock my door then she took a deep breath.
“I am pregnant.”
I was blinking at her with complete shock at first. She was looking at me waiting for my reaction, and as I processed what she said I felt my mouth sliding into the widest smile.
So THAT was what felt so strange in her behaviour lately!
I had a million thoughts emerging on the subject, but before asking them all, it was time to let sheer happiness flow.
“VICKI!” I threw myself at her, hugging my friend tightly.
“Be careful or you’ll crush it!” She laughed below me.
“Bullshit! I can’t crush it, it’s probably like 2 centimeters big,” I giggled.
I got such an endorphin rush, I honestly forgot all my previous, all man related problems. I only saw my friend and her beaming eyes.
“How many weeks?” I asked, as the first of what seemed like hundreds of questions from both of our sides. I was eager to know how she feels, and what her plans were while she was grateful for a friend and a doctor to finally talk to about the subject.
We were already discussing the deep details of analgesic choices for giving birth when my phone started to ring. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it was Daniel.
“Shit,” I said, and looked at Vicki with guilt. She was blinking at me then at the ringing phone with a cheeky smile.
“Go on, don’t act like I don’t know,” she snorted.
I gave her an apologetic look as I reached for the phone, and walked out to the balcony to have a little privacy.
“Hi Daniel.”
“Hey,” he said, his voice seemed really tired. “I’m really sleepy.”
“Uhm…,” I said, biting on my lips and looking back at Vicki, who was now on her phone too. “Sorry, I’m with Vicki, but I can send her away if you want me to…”
I gulped because it wasn’t at all how I wanted it to sound.
There was a brief silence on the other side.
“No, no you stay and I sleep for the both of us,” he murmured. “See you at the garage, I guess,” he added, then hung up.
“That didn’t sound very love-birdy,” Vicki looked at me. “Is that still because of that fangirl?” she asked which made my eyebrows arch.
“What? No. Why would it be?”
“Why? Because you were sooo jealous, I'm sure everyone saw that,” she snorted.
“Oh, bullshit. I wasn’t!” I said a little faster than I should have. “I was angry because it was a situation completely out of hand, manipulated by a teenage schoolgirl."
Vicki clearly thought over what I said.
"Well, maybe you're right. But giving Daniel such a hard time for that…"
"I'm not giving him a hard time. I just finally hoped to feel important again, doing something exciting, and bannggg. It turned out to be a cheap, childish mischief," I pouted.
Vicki didn't really seem to care and was already vigorously tapping on her phone until she triumphantly held it up for me.
"So you have nothing to do with this?"
On the screen, I saw a familiar Japanese tea cup, in the distance a nice little pond with some colorful fish in it which were much too familiar.
It was Charles' Instagram account with the caption leading to a song "Tokyo".
I gulped.
I knew that song - I showed it to him once when we were in Monaco together.
My expression made it easy for Vicki to find out the answer for her question.
"We only talked!" I snapped. "He was so desperate to talk to somebody. He's so lonely now."
"And he needed to talk to you? Of all the people surrounding him like 24 hours a day?" She cut me with an unapologetic look.
I really started to feel bitter about this whole weekend.
"No, that's not what I meant. I only hoped I could help him to feel better if we chat a bit. I guess he was searching for someone outside of the team. We talked about Jules."
I really tried to make her understand this but it seemed like a lost cause. Vicki looked at me for a few seconds, clearly debating on what to say.
"And do you think it will work out for Charles in the long run? To be friends with you?"
I chewed on my lips, because I had no idea what to say to that.