Hiiiiiiii! Hope all is well. Happy reading!😊
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Touya was hospitalized longer than we expected. The doctor said he couldn't walk again. It honestly broke my heart. I am the root cause of it. I am the reason he crashed in the first place. Why he almost lost his life. Enji hired a private nurse to work along side Natsu and a physical therapist. We're doing everything in our power to get him in the path on walking again. Prescott was out of the hospital a lot sooner than him. She came over often to visit him and help take care of him. I didn't want anyone else to be his caretaker besides me. I open Touya's door and walk in.
"Good morning." I greet, bringing him breakfast.
"Hi." He's so depressed.
"It's time to eat. And take your medication."
"I'm not hungry."
"Please baby you have to eat. I don't want you wasting away."
"Why not? My life's already over."
"That's not true. I'm going to make sure you can walk again. And be by Prescott's side at your wedding." Touya scuffs.
"What wedding? I can't even walk. I can't do anything anymore. I have my mom feeding me, bathing me like I'm a child."
"Please Touya it'll get better." I encourage.
"How do you know?"
"Because I believe in you. I believe in all of my children. You are all strong. But right now you are vulnerable and that's okay. We're here for you while you're vulnerable."
"I'm not vulnerable. That is for the weak."
"No it's not. It makes you stronger in the end and you know this." Touya laughs unamused.
"Knock knock." I turn to see Enji standing with Prescott.
"Look who came to say hello." Enji announces. Prescott walks over to Touya.
"Good morning my love. How are you feeling? Are you in pain?" She asks.
"Can I fluff your pillow?"
"Pain?" Touya snorts. "No. Embarrassed? Yes."
"Why are you embarrassed?" Prescott asks softly, fluffing his pillows.
"Because I can't walk and I'm being treated like a baby."
"Oh don't worry about that sweetie. We're all here for you. Before you know it, you'll be walking in time for our wedding." Prescott smiles.
"God why is everyone keep talking about the wedding? There is no wedding."
"Touya! H-How could you say that?" Prescott chokes back tears.
"Don't start that fuckin crying."
"Touya that's enough." I warn. Tears fall down Prescott's face.
"It's alright sweetie. It's going to be okay." I encourage as I rub her back.
"Oh boo fucking hoo. Poor Anya Prescott can't get her dream wedding." Touya sits up further.
"You came out of the car barely scathed. Meanwhile I had broken ribs, broken arms, a punctured lung and now I can't walk. Oh but little miss Prescott shed a few tears and now everyone feels sorry for her. Well what about me huh?!" Touya screams.
"Touya you watch your mouth!" Enji scolds.
"You are in no position to talk to me after running out on us for five years Enji." Touya snaps back.
"Touya!" Touya looks at me. He then glares at Prescott.
"Get out. I don't ever wanna see you again you whiny little bitch." He demands. Prescott slaps Touya. She then takes her ring off and toss it at him.
"Fine then. You don't ever have to worry about me again. I hope you rot in hell." She says before leaving.
"Prescott!" Enji chases after her.
"What is going on with you? What did you do that for? That girl loves you. She has been here every day, twice a day helping out and checking on you. I promise you, it'll be hard to find another one like her. Most girls leave the man after finding out he's paralyzed." Touya grit his teeth.
"Do you know what it's like to not be able to walk?"
"No. I don't."
"Exactly so you don't know. It's the worst and most embarrassing feeling in the world."
"Yeah I know what it's like to feel horrible. I know what it's like to not breathe. To not have a pulse. I've died. Twice. Once with Isamu, once with the twins, and almost died with Shoto. I've been there. I know what it's like to be taken care of. You're being treated like a baby. Everyone is walking on egg shells around you because you're a ticking bomb and they're afraid to set you off. Believe me I know. But that is no way to treat the woman who loves you to death and will do anything for you. Now, please eat. Your food is getting cold." I hold the fork and plate up.
"I said I'm not hungry!" He yells, smacking the plate and fork out of my hands. It hits the wall and breaks.
"Touya Josiah Todoroki! You do not treat your mother or any woman that way. She is trying to take care of you and help you get better. This is the same woman you love so much and will hurt any man who hurt her including me. And now you turn around to do the same? We did not raise you this way. We raised you to express yourself but this is blatant disrespect and violence. You can be mad at yourself and the world but do not take it out on your family including Prescott, your fiancée." Enji's voice booms as he storms up to the bed.
"Enji it's fine." I say getting up. I hold him back.
"Y/N he's being very disrespectful and you know it. That's why you're not defending him."
"He's hurting. He doesn't mean any of this. He's suffering horrible depression. The paralysis got to him. He's not himself right now, Enji please. Let it go." Enji looks down at me. He reads my face. It softens before going back to angry.
"Fine. But you go on ahead. I will clean this up." Enji bends down and kiss me. His lips linger on mine.
"I love you." He mumbles against my lips. I nod.
"I know." I walk out of Touya's room and downstairs. I leave out, going for a walk. I needed to clear my head.
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I make it back home, late.
"There you are. I've been worried sick about you." Enji comes into view.
"Come on." Enji lifts me up, putting me over his shoulder. I hate when he does that when I'm not in the mood. He carries me upstairs and to my room. He place me on my bed and walk into my bathroom. I hear him run a bath water. He turn it off after some time and come into view. He starts taking my clothes off.
"Enji stop."
"Y/N please let me take care of you." I didn't say anything. He continues to undress me. He guides me to the bathroom. I get in the tub and lean my head back.
"Why did you defend me back there?" I ask.
"You know why. He disrespected you and Prescott. I see you put up with his bullshit every day. Look at you. You're exhausted. You're drained. You're suffering too."
"Do you remember what it's like to be depressed? When we lost our son?" I ask, not looking at him.
"Yes I do. It was one of the worst times of our lives. I was a fuckin wreck. We both were." Enji remembers.
"That's what Touya's going through. He's lashing out because of pain and trauma."
"Yeah but you're his mother. Prescott is his fiancée."
"You think he doesn't know that? He's going to regret that too."
"This isn't an excuse for him. He needs to see Hizashi."
"And he will. When he walks again."
"Everyone's asleep. I bathed the twins and put them down too. I force fed Touya and made him take his medication. He's knocked out. He'll probably curse me out in the morning." I feel as Enji climb in the tub. He pulls me close.
"I love you Y/N. I got you for life. You can lean on me for anything. We can get through this." I stand up and begin to wash. I'm really not in the mood. Enji washes himself too and we get out.
"Y/N stop beating yourself up over this. It's not your fault." Enji says as we get dressed.
"I called my son to warn him about a car crash. He answered while driving. And he crashed. I'm the reason he's paralyzed. I'm the reason he's depressed. I'm the reason his relationship ended. I'm the reason he's acting out." I start crying.
"Y/N stop it. I have watched you night and day, do everything in your power to help him out. You're breaking your back for him. You won't even allow me to help take care of him. I know about the sleepless nights. I know about the nightmares Y/N. He ruined his own relationship with Prescott, not you. He ended it." "You didn't hear the crash. It haunts me every night." Enji pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly.
"No I didn't. I can't imagine what you're going through. I know it's messing with you mentally. But baby you have to know that you were doing what you thought was best. You tried to warn him. I hate to say this, but it was bound to happen whether you called him or not. It was in your vision and your visions are never wrong. He's alive Y/N and he will get better. He's not going to give up. Nobody is blaming you. Not even Touya." I remain silent.
"I know you've stopped taking care of yourself. You haven't been to our yoga and meditation sessions. You stop joining in on therapy sessions. Please let me take care of you." I shake my head no.
"I failed as a mother. I'm the worst mother ever. I can't live with myself."
"Y/N, Y/M/N, Y/L/N Todoroki. Listen to me and you better listen real good. You are an amazing mother. The best mother we could ever ask for. You're the perfect mother for my children. I chose you to be the mother of my children for a reason. Not because I've always been in love with you. But because I knew in my heart that you'd be a perfect mother. I felt it in my bones. You have never failed as a mother. Yes you've made mistakes. We both did as parents but we're human. You go above and beyond for our babies. They are grateful to have you as their mother.
They are incredible human beings and wonderful adults because of you. You set an example on how they should be as a human being. You prioritized their mental health. Something I would have never thought about. They're going to pass all their knowledge down to their children and say they got it from the best mother in the world. You.
You molded them to be who they are today. You helped me create and set a safe place for their home. Because of you, they didn't grow up in a toxic home or a broken home especially when I left. You continued to hold it down when you got back on your feet. And before you could, they held it down. Fuyumi idolizes you. Our sons worship you. They know how to treat their partners and their future children. Fuyumi knows to never settle for less.
They all know their worth. I couldn't do this without you. You're the backbone of this family. Behind every successful man, there is a strong woman. Behind every successful woman is another successful woman who has her back. In a society where men don't cry, you've taught our boys that it's okay to be vulnerable and cry. That it doesn't make them weak but in fact stronger. That real men cry. Show emotion. You've shown me that too. You've done so much, I can barely name it all. We appreciate you. I appreciate you. I'm grateful for you. Baby you deserve to have the world worship the ground you walk on.
I am so incredibly sorry that I made you feel less than by leaving. Made you feel worthless. You're too good for this world. But I'm the luckiest bastard alive to have you. As my best friend, my partner, my lover, and the mother of my children." Tears streamed down my face like a river. I quickly wipe them away. He always know what to say.
"I hate when you do that. You always know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. Always know how to make me feel special. Damn you and your charms Todoroki!" Enji chuckles and kiss my forehead. "That's because you are. And I get the charms from my father. That's how he bagged my mother."
"I think that's hereditary. Cause that shit worked on me. And every girl you bagged in high school, even with Rei. Touya and Natsu got it. Shoto most likely have it. Isamu will have it. Oh god. None of the three boys were a heartbreaker like you in high school. I think Isamu will. I'm gonna need a shot gun for all the girls' hearts he's gonna break. They're gonna come for him." I laugh.
"No you don't. Because of how you're raising him. And he has influence by his three elder brothers. That's why none of our boys turned out like me."
"Thank god they didn't act like high school you. Too many girls with their brothers will be banging on our doors. But Touya gets his pride from you. And Natsu's a helpless romantic just like you." Enji laughs.
"I wasn't so bad." I gave him that look.
"Need I remind you all the teenage girls your mother was about to fight and all the brothers your father was going to fight? It got so bad my brothers got involved. And I got involved."
"You're right. I was wild back then." "You're not called the Devil's Tongue for nothing."
"In the end, it never worked on you."
"That's cause I know you. I could see right through you."
"And because of that, I fell in love with you. You were the one person I couldn't charm or get with." I look up at him.
"So you were in love with me since high school?" He nods.
"I didn't want to ruin our friendship. When we did confess our love for each other two years after Touya was born, I was years deep in love with you."
"So why did you say you stopped loving me?"
"I was afraid of losing you. As a friend. As my partner in crime. What if we got together and it backfired? I didn't want to move out and be one of those parents who arrange meetups to spend time with their child. You know like I see him on weekends and certain holidays. We both came from loving parents, a stable home and I wanted that for Touya. I guess you could say I was a coward since then."
"No. You were being cautious. That's smart. We were really young. We were still learning how to be parents and building a relationship on that. Over time we learned how to be great parents, how to live together and got to know each other more. We knew not to push each other's buttons. We agreed on a lot of things to do as parents and respect each other's disagreements. Our learning experience as parents was a great one. Positive. Memorable." I disagree.
"So you're not mad?" I shake my head no. "We wouldn't be where we are today if it all backfired. Seasoned parents with six beautiful children."
"Six beautiful children indeed." Enji agrees as he press his lips against mine.
"I love our beautiful family." He mumbled against my lips.
"And I love you. So please let me take care of you." I nod and move my lips with his, into a kiss. Enji gave me a full body massage. After that we meditated and did yoga.
"I'll be in my room if you need me." Enji says as he walks to the door.
"I need you. Please don't leave me alone tonight." He closes the door and get in bed, pulling me close. I felt as he kiss my shoulders.
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Poor Touya is going through it🤧 I come from a toxic household where my mother didn't allow me to express myself. Where my mental health was never prioritized because she didn't know how to take care of hers. But the person I am right now, I prioritize my own mental health and I'd do the same if I had children. This is so common in black families where our feelings are invalidated by our own parents. Our mental health isn't prioritized. We are traumatized and abused. If we try to express ourselves we are seen as rude and disrespectful especially if we try to tell our parents what they did was wrong. They will refuse or hold accountability. They don't know the difference between abuse and discipline. You can discipline your child without striking them. But there are a lot of moms in this generation who are all about mental health and prioritizing their kid's mental health. They're breaking the generational cycle/curse of instilling trauma, abuse and invalidation into their kids. Had I had the same mentality as my mother and grandmother, Touya would've been abused for how he treated his mother and fiancée. Especially when he's lashing out and being violent. Actually they all would've been abused while growing up when they were acting up or express why they were angry. But the person I am currently, I'm going to prioritize mental health, kids expressing themselves, therapy and other therapeutic activities in this story because it's highly looked down on in our community. Especially therapy. It's labeled as taboo and a bad thing in our community. I didn't go to therapy myself to get where I am today but I heavily encourage it. If you feel like you need it, GET IT. I cannot stress it enough that therapy may be good for you. They're not out to just use you for your money. They're trained professionals who will give you their best advice. They can help you address your past or current situation and how to conquer it. Therapy isn't just for white people. It's for anyone who need it. But I encourage you to get a black therapist. They can relate to us more on a personal level and you may feel more comfortable. I also want to let you know that I'm here for all of you💜