KISSING MY KRYPTONITE
A/N: TW // Violence / Panic attack / Death
UNEDITED • KMK's complete chapters, like Tamed, are until 50. Tbh, all but the final part have been written last year pa. Need ko lang time to edit the drafts, or add scenes to lessen the loopholes o completely rectify it. Iyong Epilogue talaga ang hindi ko pa nasisimulan kaya baka 'yun pa muna matagalan after ko ma-publish lahat t,t Additionally, to reflect the adjustments I made for the KMK's finale, I've edited the prologue and eliminated a few of the KMK's fillers in Tamed which is why you couldn't find it. Enjoy reading! Hanggang 50 pa 'to, you made it this far kaya kapit lang, sama-sama tayo until the end ♡
"No!" malakas kong sigaw at mabilis na napabalikwas.
Are you afraid to find out more about her true colors? Tingin mo ba ang isang katulad niya papatol sa 'yo? Do you really think she loves you? She's not in love with you! Pinapaikot ka lang ng babaeng 'yon!
Wala siyang konsensya't kinatatakutan! Hindi siya mahina, but she used all of a woman's flaws and vulnerabilities to manipulate you. Your weaknesses! She took full advantage of you and your father issues when you were emotionally distraught, and she did so through romance!
"S-she did not.." I pull my hair and tap my head in confusion, "Hindi niya magagawa sa 'kin 'yan..hindi niya ako sasaktan, h-hindi.."
As I glance around the four corners of this empty room, Xiomara's voice surfaces over and over in my head.
Unleash me, Ezra please, you need my help. Ililigtas kita sa babaeng 'yon, hindi ko hahayaang may masamang mangyari sa 'yo! Papatayin ka niya!
It has repeatedly been says, louder and louder that it's likely to chop my head off.
Professor Rafa Eli Cordova is softly killing you with her most lethal weapon, romance..
"No.." I say weakly, my heart sinking in the most painful way.
Do you really think she's innocent? Her religion is destroying you!
"Please stop!" buong lakas kong sigaw habang madiing tinatakpan ang dalawang tainga ko, ayokong marinig, ang sakit-sakit, hindi ko na kaya. Pumikit ako at pilit na inalala ang mga nangyari, kung bakit ako nasa loob ng kwartong ito..kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.
I blink my eyes and see myself attired in the same outfit I wore on our date, in Meat You There. My body shivers in fear at my gaze catching the handcuffs and leg shackles that are wrapped around my hands and feet..
Xiomara Morgana is right all along..
Closing my eyes, the image of my beloved enters my consciousness. Her sweet smiles, soft voice, and beauty gradually transform into beast..demons..a nightmare I never wanted to see..
Did you ever love me?
No..
Unti-unting namulat ang puso't isipan ko sa katotohanan, animo'y gumuho ang mundo ko sa sakit at galit. Para akong binabngungot, hindi ko kinakaya ang bigat at kirot-hindi ko na siya kayang ipaglaban at ipagtanggol, ang puso ko sa sakit ay parang sumisikip, nalulukot.
"R-rafa.." my breath hitches, fighting another rising tide of tears that just want to stream across my cheeks.
Hindi ka bubuhayin ng lintik na pagmamahal na 'yan, Ezra! Go keep turning a blind eye until it actually happens!
Then it actually does happen, and it never stops until now.
Naniniwala na ako, pero huli na ang lahat dahil nasa bingit na ako ng kamatayan. Kinapa ko ang leeg ko dahil ayon sa pagkakatanda ko ay nasaksak ako sa likod na parte. I felt a stinging pain, as if I had been bitten by a snake, it's likely a syringe or something.
"Maingay daw sabi ni boss, patahimikin niyo mga bobo! Umagang-umaga pinapainit niyo ulo ko!" sigaw ng isang lalaki, bumukas ang pinto ng kwartong kinalalagyan ko.
Kilala ko sila, they're the guys who said na guards sila sa Meat You There. Umagang-umaga? Does it mean kagabi pa 'yon at umaga na nga ngayon? Kumikirot ang dibdib ko habang iniisip ang bawat detalye ng buong pangyayari sa restaurant kagabi bago ako tuluyang nawalan ng malay, naiiyak ako pero kailangan kong pigilan.
"S-sino kayo? Nasaan ako?" walang tigil akong pumalag sa pagkakaposas, sinubukan kong tumayo pero natumba lang ako dahil sa mabigat na kadena sa paa ko.
Walang bintana ang buong bakanteng silid, walang kahit na ano bukod as sarili ko, intercom, aircon at ang mga gumaganang cctv cameras sa taas. I'm having the same vibe as last night, as if someone is watching me suffer and die slowly.
"Answer me!" sigaw ko nang tuluyang pumasok ang isang lalaki, may dala siyang duct tape at alam ko na kung para saan 'yon.
"Let me shut that noisy mouth of yours," maangas na saad ng matangkad na lalaki, naglabas ito ng kutsilyo mula sa sapatos niya at iyon ang ginamit niya para tabasin 'yung duct tape.
"N-no..get away from me, asshole!" groaning, I roll back my shoulders, force myself to sit back, and kicking my feet to avoid him.
Napakurap-kurap ako nang paglaruan niya ang kutsyilo sa kanyang kamay. He's spinning it like a ballpen, wala man lang itong reaksyon nang aksidenteng masugatan niya ang kanyang sarili.
"You're bleeding," may takot kong sambit, hindi ako nag-aalala kundi takot dahil naalala ko na naman ang red wine kagabi. Why the fuck I'm still alive? I was poisoned right? She...did all of it.
"Shut up, okay?" the annoying man clutches my jaw with his injured hand, I can feel the coldness of his blood on his palm.
Bago pa man niya idikit ang duct tape sa bibig ko ay wagas akong umiwas sa kabila ng sakit, mula sa panga ko ay umigtad sa buhok ko ang kamay niya para mas makontrol niya ako.
Palaban akong sumigaw nang sumigaw, itinikom ko lamang ang bibig nang may humampas sa pintuan na umagaw sa atensyon namin.
"Could you please leave us alone for a moment?" Rafa's cold voice got me goosebumps, it made me shiver in hell.
Sumama ang tingin sa kanya ng lalaki, "But boss-"
"I. Said. Leave. Now." she repeats herself, her harsh voice threatening, like a knife pointing at us that even I can feel its sharp edges.
Binitiwan ako ng lalaki saka ito walang imik na lumabas ng silid, nalipat ang tingin ko sa babaeng hindi ko kailanman inisip na magagawang traydurin at bilugin ako ng ganito.
Even if you don't look really closely, you'd think she's more ruthless than it has ever been. The emotional range of a dead woman would seem to have overpowered her, perhaps this is really her. She no longer resembles the loving woman I used to know and adore, she's gone.
She steps a little closer, my heart quickens, "Don't you fucking come near me!"
Nagngangalaiti ako sa halo-halong emosyon, nang magtama ang mga mata namin lalo lamang gumuho ang mundo ko. Sa kabila ng nararamdaman ko para sa kanya, magkahalong galit at pagkadismaya ngayon ang nangunguna. Hindi ko na siya kayang titigan nang matagal pa kasi kung ipipilit ko lalo lamang tumataas ang puot na aking nadadama. She's like a smoldering inferno, the nearer she gets, the further physical discomfort I feel, like I'm burning alive in a miserable manner.
Sana naniwala na lang ako kay Xiomara, bumitaw na sana ako bago pa man nangyari ang lahat ng ito. Ngayon, pakiramdam ko ay nahulog ako mula sa mataas na bangin, balot ng nagdudugong latay at sugat. I wished I could've gotten it all right, pero wala akong ginawa at lalo pang nagpakabulag.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" walang emosyong tanong niya, hindi ko alam kung tungkol pa ba sa kadena at posas ang tinutukoy niya o ukol na ito sa lahat nang ginawa niyang panloloko sa 'kin.
To answer that, it hurts like I'm burning in hell.
"I hope this is making you happy," I swallow the broken knot in my throat, my lips shaking.
"I'm not even guilty," she says in nonchalance and takes the duct tape on the floor. She exhales slowly, her dark eyes glowing, "I feel great."
Paano niya nasasabi ang lahat ng ito sa 'kin nang ganito kadali ngayon? Para bang wala kaming pinagsamahan, hindi ko lubos inakala na kalaban pala ang turing niya sa 'kin magmula pa man.
For some whatever reasons, I'd like to fool mysel that my horrible nightmare isn't over yet, that I'm still sleeping and waging war against it. Baka naman may katiting na pag-asa pa? Gusto ko pang kumapit nang mahigpit hanggang dulo pero binigay na niya ang pinakamasakit na rason para bumitaw ako.
"You faked it all until you made it right? You fucking fooled me since day one.." I muffle my sobs while staring at her.
Hindi siya sumagot, itinagilid ko na lamang ang muka para hindi ko siya makita dahil lalo lamang akong nasasaktan. Nasa harap ko lang siya pero pakiramdam ko ang layo-layo na niya, hindi na siya ang babaeng..minahal ko..at mahal ko pa rin kahit ang sakit-sakit na.
Yumuko siya dala ang duct tape. I expect her to smack it on my mouth, but I am surprised when she gently wipes my jaw with the blood of the dude who messed up with me.
"Huwag mo akong hawakan," mariing singhal ko, umiwas ako sa kanya na parang napapaso at umaktong nanunuya dahil sa pagdikit ng kamay niya sa balat ko.
"Ez.." here comes her velvety voice again. To what? Manipulate me? I disrespectfully tilt away my face with all my might to dodge her another attempt to touch my jaw with her handkerchief. Akala niya siguro ay may sugat ako dahil sa lalaking 'yon kanina, higit na mas masakit pa nga ang mga sugat na dinulot niya sa puso ko at alam niya 'yon.
"Let me just clean you up and I'll go," mahinang bulong niya.
I sluggishly lock my gaze on hers, her lifeless orbs looking empty and icy. Those lovely windows of her soul, now I see nothing but hatred or maybe demons hiding in its darkness..my hopes are gone forever.
"Why are you doing this?" pilit at nanghihina kong tanong, Xiomara Morgana has given me the answers but I still want to know better from her this time even if it'll just hurt me more.
Hindi siya nagsalita, parang wala siyang narinig dahil nagpatuloy lamang ito sa pagpunas sa aking panga, huminto siya nang masiguro niyang wala nga akong sugat.
"Because of my father? Are you taking revenge? What was it that he did to you?" umagos ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan, tangina ang sakit-sakit na, "R-rafa..bakit naman g-ganito? Kung laro lang pala sa 'yo lahat ng 'to, ang daya-daya mo. H-how could you do this to me? I thought y-you cared...akala ko minahal mo ako. Y-you broke my trust, like all heck you made me believe in your empty words. I gave you everything, and this is what I get? Mahal na mahal kita..pero b-bakit? L-love..bakit?"
She would often tell me that game of hearts is my thing because I am a playgirl, yet now I understand she has been the master of this game right from the beginning. Ginawa niya akong tanga, pinaglaruan niya ang puso kong sa kanya lamang natutong magmahal.
"How could you made me believe that it was you and me against the world but now, it's you and the world against me," I was damn ready to fight the world until the end for her, turns out she's against me since the beginning.
"It was never you and me against the world," she gives off a cold look, "You never supposed to fall in love because you like playing hearts, and yet you did. I guess this is the consequence.."
"Was it worth it, huh?" mapait kong tanong. I shouldn't have believed she was my kryptonite. It only built me weaker. I would've have treated her as my enemy from the starting point to this end, I could've saved my heart and soul.
"Actually, I've never expected this to play out differently," she says coldly, "Love was something I never did, and never will. It's my honor to make you look like this, being betrayed by someone you trusted the most."
The funniest thing is nothing could have given me the impression this might happen, that this woman could leave my heart in pieces, I thought everything she made me feel is real and genuine.
With shallow, labored breaths I say, "I fucking hate you.."
As much as I hate to say it, I hate her because she already betrayed me and all that but I still love her so much but after all these shits..I will never ever forgive her.
"I told you not to love me," malamig niyang saad na lalong nagpasikip sa dibdib ko. "I told you, you wouldn't love me when you meet them all."
When I look into her black eyes, I see the harsh streaks of darkness and vengeance slowly engulf her. That's when I realize it's too late for her to change and come back to me, love doesn't conquer all, does it? The way I see it now, it's all illusion.
"If you're doing this to destroy my dad, sana pinatay mo na lang ako nang malaman mong walang kwenta lahat ng ito because my father loves me less than you think," I say, crying a river. "You planned this since the start, right? Hindi ko na itatanong kung minahal mo ako, pero ni katiting ba ay tinuring mo ako bilang kaibigan o tao man lang?"
I never staged my love for her. My feelings are so serious that I considered putting a blind eye and trusting her at all cost, resulting in the reason I take this betrayal too personal. It's being betrayed by the person I trust the most, I had no clue, I didn't really expect it to come from her. Sa lahat ng ginawa niyang panloloko, para rin naman niya akong pinatay nang paulit-ulit.
Tumayo siya, tila bingi at walang narinig but in some way, I can tell by the way she's fiddling her fingers that what I said has had a small effect on her.
"Si Sebaztian Davies," I say this to get her attention as I remember the painful night in the Meat You There again.
She pauses for a moment, with disgust in my voice I say, "I know you killed him too, you left the same pattern you gave me last night with your favorite red wine and roses, candles..violet and blue tulips alongside your fucking script and drama."
Anything Dad told me about the case begins to make sense. This woman tried unsuccessfully to frame me, what a failed trap.
Tingnan natin kung makuha pa niyang ibalewala lahat ng ito katulad nang ginawa niya kanina, halos umiyak na ako ng dugo pero nagawa niya pa rin akong talikuran lang.
"Walang naganap na symposium sa Korea hindi ba? I saw your car just lurking around his rest house. Nasa Pilipinas ka lang noong mga panahong 'yon dahil tina-trabaho mo si Davies. Alam kong masama siyang tao pero hindi ko alam na mas masahol ka pa. Hindi ka lang sinungaling at traydor. Isa kang mamamatay tao at manloloko, wala kang konsensya. Mga wala kayong puso! The bar is in hell and you both deserve to go there!"
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa mga palad niya na ngayon ay kumukuyom na, hinanda ko ang sarili ko sa posibleng pag-atake niya pero wala pa rin siyang ginawa.
She just offered me a cold once-over. This time her eyes are loaded up with a combination of stun, pain, sadness, and disdain.
"I gotta go," she turns back quickly, but before she is able to exit the door, a voice cuts her off.
Boses na pag-aari ng aninong kanina ko pa nakikitang nakasunod kay Rafa, nasa labas at nakatayo lang, parang kanina pa nakikinig sa usapan namin.
"Friedrich Veneracion and Sebaztian Davies are the monsters who deserve to spend eternity in hell," says the familiar voice that creeps me out more, "But instead of rotting in hell, for how many years they have been walking around like Gods on this planet because of their staggering wealth, status, power and influence. The world is too twisted and unfair, isn't it?"
Rafa calmly walks away without saying anything, leaving me alone with the woman who has just enters.
"While their victims? Nabubuhay sa takot at miserableng buhay dahil sa mga katulad nila! Sebaztian Davies deserves to die, sa dami ng taong pinatay niya kulang ang kamatayan niya para pagbayaran lahat ng kasalanan niya!"
Not only are her statements surprising to me, but so is she.
"Y-you?" I can't blink, "Chanel Velazco.."
She smirks, "You didn't see this coming, did you?"
Nawala ang boses ko sa ilang saglit dahil sa gulat..
Si Chanel Velezco, ang dating sekretarya ni daddy ang kasabwat ni Rafa..
"Galit kayo sa lahat ng kasalanan ni Davies at ng.." I pause for a second, "At ng tatay ko. Sa ginagawa niyong 'to, ano'ng pinagkaiba niyo ngayon sa kanila?"
"They're the worst breed of monsters! This is the consequences of what they did to us! Davies would not exist if it weren't for biggest enablers like your father! He turned Sebaztian Davies into a hell and a serpent. Kaya hindi takot 'yan gumawa ng kademonyohan at manuklaw ng mga inosenteng buhay dahil protektado siya ng mga katulad ng ama mo! Kung hindi dahil sa mga uri niyo hindi sana ako namumuhay na miserable ngayon, buhay pa sana ang tatay at kapatid ko!"
They're doing it for vengeance. I have no idea what they've been through, but things should not have been handled this way. People who resort to certain ways and means like this to seek justice after having to suffer such traumas are desperate and hopeless. Sila 'yung mga taong hindi na umaasa sa poor justice system ng sariling bansa, kaya dinadaan na lang nila sa dahas.
"Minka Velazco," tanging imik ko, ayon sa impormasyong ibinahagi ni Jazzver sa 'kin dati tungkol kay Chanel buhay pa ang kapatid niyang si Minka Velazco at nasa US ito ngayon. Her father died last year at bed ridden ngayon ang mommy niya.
"How'd you even know her name?" she m's taken by surprise at the information I spilled.
"I checked your background profile," pagtatapat ko dahil nga pinag-isipan ko siyang kabit ni dad. Kaya naman pala mainit ang dugo ko sa kanya dahil sa mga nalaman ko ngayon, siya nga ang tinutukoy ni Xiomara na kasabwat ni Rafa. "H-how did she die?"
"Sebaztian Davies," tiim bagang niyang sagot, "But that bastard made it looked like she killed herself."
"I want to know why dad is involved in this," mahinang tanong ko, noong banggitin niya si daddy noong una pa lang ay hindi na ako nagulat dahil pinaghinalaan ko na itong may koneksyon kay Davies dahil sa kwento ni Rafa.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Just tell me what he did-"
"Ginawang kabit ng tatay mo ang kapatid ko na pagkatapos niyang gamitin ay pinalabas niyang baliw at pinatapon sa mental hospital!"
Nagpatuloy siya, "Ilang taong nagdusa ang kapatid ko habang ang tatay mo at si Davies nagpapakasarap sa buhay! Nagpapakasasa kayo sa buhay niyo at sa karangyaang sa kasamaan galing habang kami nagdudusa dahil sa mga kagagawan nila! Hindi pa sila nakuntento dahil dinamay pa nila ang tatay ko," nagngangalaiti niyang saad, "Ngayon sabihin mo sa 'king inosente 'yang ama mo."
"Will my death enough to satisfy you all? What else do you need, money?" kasi kung ginagawa nila 'to para maghiganti, sana sapat na akong maging sakripisyo at hindi na nila idamay ang mga kapatid at mommy ko. "Pakiusap 'wag niyo na sanang idamay pa ang mga mahal ko sa buhay."
"They killed Minka a week before Davies' death," she scoffs, the twitches of her eyes speak volume of hatred, "Now we're after your father who didn't give a crap about her holy shits. We're going to use you as a pawn to destroy him even more...to drive him insane, just the same as he did to Minka. We'll kill him sooner or later, but with a painful twist: I want him to watch you die, and when he goes insane, we'll throw him in the same psychiatric facility at which he locked my sister for long damn years. I need all of my plans to come together, all of this are my definition of justuce. There isn't enough money in this world to pay us for what they did!"
"Both of you are out of your minds!" sigaw ko, sa daming sakit na kagabi ko pa dinadanas ay namamanhid na ako. "H-hindi niyo naman kailangang gawin 'to, ang kamatayan 'di mababayaran ng isa pang kamatayan. Hindi pa huli ang lahat at pwede pa ninyong itama angh lahat-"
"We tried countless times to take legal actions and fought fair," humalakhak siya't napailing, "But only to get nothing, it's how my dad was taken away from me. Kapalit ng isang subok, maraming buhay ang kaya nilang kitilin to cover up everything! Walang kwenta ang batas sa bansang 'to dahil sa mga taong katulad ni Davies at ng ama mo!"
I can't believe Rafa agreed to do this with her, so this makes more sense why she had to make me fall for her. So they can easily control and manipulate me, use me as a token or sacrificial lamb against my own father. What a fucking fuck? I thought Xiomara was the bad guy in this story, but it goes out that the woman I genuinely love is the real villain.
"Rafa's mind was poisoned by anger, and so are yours. Pero ginagawa lang ba talaga niya 'to dahil sa panlolokong ginawa ni Sebaztian Davies sa pamilya niya?"
May alam ako sa ugat ng galit ni Rafa kay Davies at Dad dahil magkasabwat naman talaga sila sa panloloko kay Mr. Cordova. I don't want to invalidate her struggles all these years sa mga kamay ni Davies, he most likely did something more cruel and barbaric for which she desired retaliation. Ang akin lang ngayon, bakit niya tinutulungan si Chanel? Did they just meet like that and joined force for their biggest agenda?
Ang gusto kong itanong kanina pa, sino si Chanel Velazco o si Minka Velazco sa buhay ni Rafa?
"Why don't you ask her? She's doing this because she wants to. No one is forcing her dahil pareho lang kaming naniningil," Chanel smirks, "Rafa has the power to kill you with no mercy in her own hands if you rile up her. Hindi ka pa pwedeng mamatay dahil gagamitin pa kita para sirain ang ulo ng daddy mo, masyadong maaga pag-uwi ni Davies sa impyerno. Well, he asked for it."
Malademonyo siyang nagpakawala ng tawa na kung pwede lang hindi ko na marinig.
"S-she's a soldier, this isn't supposed to be her job-"
"But your dad is an ex-military man too right? Pero demonyo siya, at walang puso.." she twists her mouth mockingly, my voice retorts in shock. Nagtaas siya ng kilay, 'tila natawa pa sa reaksyon ko, "Oh? Hindi mo alam? Galit ka sa tatay mo hindi ba?"
"Shut up.." maagap kong singhal.
"Sebaztian Davies would not have been likely to get off the bar if it hadn't been for your father's associations beyond his injustices. Wala silang pinagkaibang dalawa, do I have to spell it out to you again? They killed my father and sister, and Rafa Eli would have been brutally murdered as well if she hadn't escaped and hidden!"
They tried to kill Rafa too..
Kaya nga ba talagang gawin ni daddy lahat ng 'to? I thought Davies and my father are just good friends and business partners. Na kaya lang naman ako muntik ikasal sa lalaking 'yon ay dahil hindi kayang pakawalan ni daddy ang yamang dulot ni Davies sa kumpanya. Malaki ang pagkukulang niya sa 'min bilang ama pero hindi ko naisip na aabot siya sa ganito.
Ayoko na munang magpadala sa mga naririnig ko, natatakot na akong maulit muli itong kinahinatnan ko ngayon dahil sa katangahan ko kay Rafa. Kung nagsasabi nga ng totoo itong si Velazco, tangina na lang, magsama-sama silang lahat!
"Could you just kill me now at huwag niyo na akong isama sa palabas niyo?" nanghihina akong bumagsak sa sahig, manhid na manhid na 'ko, gusto ko na lang magpahinga. "Find another audience, Velazco, I'm so done with all of you!"
She laughs in amusement, "Would you kill your father if you're given the chance to?"
Napamulat ako, "What are you talking about?"
"That's what you're going to do tomorrow if you won't go along with my plan," she closes the door with her demonic smile.
Masyado nang masakit ang mga nangyayari, tila wala na akong makakapitan pa para lumaban kaya't sukong-suko na ako but Chanel's final words jolted me awake.
"Nandito ba si dad? Nasaan siya?!"
Hindi nga ba't sobra na iyong ginawang panlilinlang ni Rafa sa 'kin para hayaan ko lang ulit si Chanel na gawin ito ulit sa 'kin ngayon? I must get out of this hole, I need to do something.
"Ano ba?! Hindi ba't sinabi kong busalan niyo bibig ng babaeng 'to?!" mabagsik na sigaw ng isa sa mga lalaking bantay sa labas dahil sa walang tigil na pagdadabog ko sa pintuan.
The chain of the handcuff is a bit long too kaya medyo kumportable pa ang mga kamay ko, iyong kadena sa isang mga paa ko ang nakakagalit, nagmuka tuloy akong aso.
"I need to use the comfort room."
"Ang laki ng kwarto, oh," he points the whole space of the room with a stupid grin.
"Tapos ikaw maglilinis?" sinuklian ko ng makagagong ngisi ang kanya. "Makalat ako, baka mabura muka mo."
Nabura ang ngiti niya, "Aba ang lakas mo, ah? Tarantado maganda ka pa naman, gusto mong basagin ko 'yang bibig mo?" galit niyang banta, "Bigyan niyo nga 'to ng arenola para manahimik na!"
Tinalikuran niya ako na parang walang nangyari saka ito bumalik sa pwesto niya, may isang armadong lalaki ang pumasok sa pinto dala ang breakfast ko. My need to use the restroom is too high to be swept aside.
"Please..kahit ngayon lang, let me use the restroom.." I fake a pleading tone, I will never do it sincere. Pinosas at kinadena na nila akong parang hayop dito, babalikan ko talaga silang lahat kapag ako rito nakawala!
Matapos niyang ilapag ang tray ay mabilis kong hinawakan ang kamay niya para magkunwaring nagmamakaawa. Siya pala iyong lalaking tangang sinugat ang sarili sa harapan ko kanina.
"I'll get you uh-"
"I need to use the restroom," I pull his shirt on his chest, he drops on his knees in surprise.
"Hindi naman ako tatakas," bulong ko, muka siyang apektado sa ginagawa ko na nagpangisi sa 'kin sa loob-loob ko. Hindi ko alam na ganito kalakas ang epekto ko sa kanila, ngayon lang ako nanubok mang-akit ng lalaki dahil mga muka kasi silang mabaho.
"Mahigpit na tagubilin sa 'min na hindi ka palabasin."
"Bakit hindi mo ako samahan?" malandi kong balik, tangina nakakasuka na 'tong pinaggagawa ko.
Kailangan kong gumawa ng paraan para tumakas sa punyetang lugar na 'to.
Isang subok na lang bibigay na 'yung lalaki, nag-isip ako saglit ng pwede pang sabihin. I look for his hand and press it, "How's your wound?"
"I'm fine," binawi ng lalake ang kamay niya.
"What's your name?" muling tanong ko, pasimpleng sinusundan ang kamay niya kung saan niya itinago ang susi.
"Qiv," sagot niya.
Ngumiti ako, "Qiv, what's something you want to do in life but haven't experienced it yet?"
Torete pa rin ang gago kasi ako lang yata ang nakapansin sa anino ng babaeng nakatayo ngayon sa likuran niya.
"N-nothing," Qiv answers weakly.
"How about kissing me?" I start moving my face closer to him, pretending to be unaware of Rafa standing behind him.
Qiv is just waiting for it to happen, I smirk at the back of my mind. Does he really think I'm going to do it with him?
"Go back to your work, Qiv," Rafa commands, mabuti na lang nakuha ko na ang susi mula sa tangang lalake.
Gulat na napatayo si Qiv at lumabas pagkatapos niyang tapunan ng masamang tingin si Rafa na ngayo'y blankong nakatingin sa 'kin.
With an attitude, she snaps at me, "Don't spoil the food."
"Ano'ng brand ng lason nilagay mo ngayon? You can't fool me again, woman," walang modo kong asik, kung ito na talaga ang huling gabi ko, hindi ako pwedeng mamatay agad na hindi pinaparamdan sa kanya kung gaano ko siya sinusumpa pagkatapos nang pambibilog niya sa 'kin.
Mukang nagulat siya sa inasal ko dahil sa pagkurap niya, hindi ito nagsalita at tumayo lamang sa may pinto.
She walks straight to the tray and takes it back.
"May lason nga?" napailing ako, huminto siya para tingnan ako ng masama.
"I am not going to allow you use the restroom if you won't finish that first," binalik niya ulit ang tray sa dati, lumabas ito na hindi ako tinatapunan ng tingin.
I stare back at the food, there are creamy baked lasagna and rib steaks on it. The food she used to cook for me, my hand on its own mind take the fork and immediately cuts a piece of the steak. My mouth can't help but water despite my suspicion that this has poison, if I am planned to die tomorrow why not unahan ko na sila?
Isinubo ko ang steak, mabilis at naninigurong walang nakakita pero si Rafa hindi pa pala umaalis sa labas at pasimpleng nakatitig ngayon sa 'kin.
"I don't like it," binitawan ko ang tinidor, hinaplos ko ang aking lalamunan na parang naduduwal, "Hindi masarap, it only looks fine. I'm disgusted.."
Ngunit dahil sa kagustuhan kong lumabas sa kwartong 'to ay inubos ko pa rin 'yon, tanga na kung tanga.
Totoo ngang pinapayagan niya akong gumamit ng cr pero nakaposas pa rin ako dahil iyong kadena lang ang tinanggal. Mas lalo lang akong nabanas nang makitang kinuha niya iyong susi na itinago ko saka niya itinago sa sariling bulsa.
The moment I went out of the room, my jaw fell off seeing a lot of armed men roaming around the same floor. Para kaming nasa isang malaking abandonaheng gusali na may maraming palapag, at kung susubok man akong tumakas ngayon, alam kong hindi na ako lalabas ng buhay.
"I want this handcuff off," isa pang pakiusap ko na alam kong hindi rin mapagbibigyan dahil hindi naman ako gold para sa kanya.
Rafa just shoves me inside the restroom without a word.
"Fuck," inis na inis kong mura, napakawalang kwenta ng cr dahil wala man lang akong makitang mapakikinabangan. Imposible na ang gusto kong mangyari pero kailangang may gawin pa rin ako para makatakas.
Naghilamos ako, lahat ng pwede kong gawin gamit ang mga kamay kong nakaposas ay ginawa ko na para ayusin ang sarili ko at maging kumportable. After washing my face, I turn on all the faucets in the sink before entering one of the cubicles.
"Mapudpod sana kamao mo," bulong ko dahil sa sunod-sunod na pagkatok ni Rafa, napatalon ako sa gulat dahil sa paglapit ng tunog sa mismong pintuan ng cubicle na kinaroroonan ko.
I count the pair of feet outside the cubicle and make sure she's the only person there.
"Hey?" she continues knocking. "Open the door."
Hindi ako sumasagot, nag-isip ako ng susunod na gagawin bago ang pinaplano ko, unti-unting tumataas ang boses niya, sa huli pinangunahan pa rin ako ng nararamdaman ko.
As if on cue, I open the door only to be hustled against the wall as a consequence of my aggressive attack. She needs to pin and detain me to prevent me from grabbing her gun after it falls to the wet floor because of my sudden attack.
With unexplainable anger in my eyes, I try to grab her arm with the purpose of showing her what kind of demon she turned me into but she's too quick.
"What kind of trouble are you fucking up to?" her surprised eyes darkening, I kill it by hissing and making a smug face.
Binalibag niya ako sa pader dahil sa pabiglang atake ko, imbes na ngumanga ako sa sakit ay hindi ako nagpatalo. She tries to grab my chest in order to hit my knees, but having seen her do it countless times before, I've already mastered that damned old technique. I deflect her desperate effort and spin her backward so I can control her from behind.
"Never again, Cordova," maanghang kong asik, hindi na marupok tuhod ko sa kanya. Babangon ako at babawiin ko lahat ng angas at kaastigang tinanggal niya sa 'kin.
"Ezra-" she hisses with a broken breath as I quickly gain the upper hand in this fight by slowly choking her with my handcuff. Instead of using my arms to lock them around her neck, I use the handcuff's chain to chokehold her.
"The last laugh is in my hands right now," I hoarsely whisper at the back of her neck, slowly edging us together forward to the door. I'm holding her in a headlock, "Get the door open," seryosong utos ko.
Pagkatapos ng lahat nang nalaman ko, pakiramdam ko paunti-unti na akong nauubos. Iyon na rin marahil ang dahilan bakit ko ginagawa 'to maliban sa kailangan kong makatakas at ipagtanggol ang sarili ko.
"And you're gonna use me as your hostage? Do you think you can escape just like that?" she breathes out, then keeps finding her way to get out of my merciless hold.
"Didn't you use me too?" I clench my jaw, "I need to get out of this devil's place, and you're going to make that possible," I say desperately, twisting my hands more to tighten the chain around her neck. I so order in a controlled whisper, "You can open the door, now."
"Aside from the men you've seen roaming inside this building, there are hundreds of them outside and you have no idea what they could do if you won't listen to me," she states.
I shake my head, "I don't care if I die-"
"Fuck you," she cuts me off, her voice breaks a little if I heard it right, then slowly she starts showing off signs I saw when panic attacks stuck her in the library. Her body starts to tremble, she's losing control as if something I said triggers her to feel a wave of fear and discomfort.
Something dark inside me shifts to a better place, slowly, my hands surrender in a way not making it obvious as I turn her over and pin her gently against the wall.
Our eyes meet in silence and muffled breaths. It's real, she's fighting the attacks but it's too late, her unexpected heart rate or pounding of her chest says it all.
Looking at her feels like staring into broken mirror, just like my trust and love, I'm seeing nothing but bits of hatred, pain and distrust.
"W-what the fuck had happened to us?" an unexpected tear rolls down my cheek again, I tilt my head to the other side to hide it from her. I don't want her to see how fucked up she made me more in this case, not me crying in front of her again, I have to stay on my tough front to help myself.
Nang makulekta ko ang natitirang lakas ng loob na pansamantalang nawala ay matapang ko siyang tinitigan, hindi ko pa rin siya binibitawan. Kanina pa siya may pagkakataon para kumawala sa 'kin pero hinayaan lang niya akong hawakan siya sa leeg.
"Stop..please.." mahinang bulong niya, bumaba ang kamay ko hanggang sa itaas ng dibdib niya, walang salita'y nakatingin lang ako sa mga mata niya na parang may hinahanap..ang lagi kong hinahanap..my landmarks of hope.
To my surprise, a glimpse of it still exists or I'm just hallucinating, she's giving it to me, there's a dying hope in her eyes. Nag-isip ako ng bagay na pwede kong itanong para makasigurado, hindi dapat ako magpaapekto, tama na.
"Who killed him?" matamang kong tanong, para ikumpirma ang kaninang naglalaro sa isipan ko.
Minka passed away before Sebaztian. His murder was for sure compelled by Minka's death, however, knowing their plan and the reason behind all of this. Parang hindi pa dapat mamamatay si Davies na hindi nila pinapahirapan katulad ng ginagawa nila ngayon kay dad. It's as if killing him was an impulsive decision made out of irrational rage. Was I really set up?
"We don't have time for this, Ez," umiling siya, may panginginig pa rin ang boses niya, "Just let this go and stop putting yourself into trouble."
"Ikaw mismo ang nagdala sa 'kin sa impyernong 'to Rafa," may hinanakit kong sabi. "How could I've been so foolish to believe your words?"
"It's not..t-this is not how things supposed to turn out," lumuwag ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanyang balikat nang maramdaman ko ang panginginig ng mga kamay niyang nakahawak sa balikat at likuran ko.
"This is all my fault," her dark eyes turning soft, so soft that it makes me sad just by staring at them. Her voice wavers, "You're right, I put you into this...into my web of lies. The blame should be all on me."
How am I supposed to react? I have no idea what she's on about, and don't know whether she's telling the truth this time.
"Just tell me who killed Sebaztian Davies, wala nang magagawa ang pagpapaawa mo," naguguluhan kong saad, mas lalo lang akong nililito ng mga sinasabi niya. "Did you do it?"
One of the men knocks the door, we're just behind it having a controlled conversation, sapat para kaming dalawa lang ang nakaririnig.
"Don't," pigil niya sa kamay ko noong subukan ko na lang siyang talikuran at buksan ang pinto.
"What do I even expect from you?" nailing ako, napalunok ako nang hawakan niya ang muka ko.
"Nasa labas na siya," tanging bigkas niya, namuo ang dagsa ng takot sa muka niya, bumaling ako sa pintuan.
"What are you saying?"
"She killed him," she stares at me while cupping my cheeks.
"Who did it?" pagmamatigas ko, kunwari'y 'di apektado sa ginagawa at pinapakita niya.
"Chanel," sagot niya na hindi ko na masyadong ikinagulat, "She planned all of this for years now, Davies' death was too early to happen. That's not what in the plan."
"Let me go," malamig kong atas.
Her controlled voice fades, "Ez..it's time.." her shaking hands cup my jaw, the back of her fingers tracing my jaw, "I've ruined everything, I don't think my reasons will ever save us from this...p-parang hindi ko na kayang isalba 'to, kalimutan mo na 'ko.." tears stream down her cheek, "Kalimutan mo na lang ko, I'm sorry..I'm so sorry for breaking my promises."
Sa ilang segundo ay hinayaan ko siyang haplusin lang ang muka ko, pigil-luha napakarami nang nangyari, binigyan na niya ako ng sandamakmak na dahilan para bumitaw pero tangina naman, oh, bakit mahal na mahal ko pa rin siya?
Fighting myself to get on her trap, I jerk her hand away from my face harshly.
"Cut it out," I grit my teeth and snap at her.
"Ez.."
"Both of you planned to kill him, to destroy what they have," pinagdiinan ko iyong dapat na pinag-uusapn dito, "Magkasabwat pa rin kayo kahit baligtarin ang mundo, pare-pareho kayong masasamang tao."
She silently takes her gun on the floor after a few knocks on the door occur again. Our conversation cuts off when the door opens up, Chanel and all his men are standing outside.
"She tried to escape," Rafa says in nonchalance while fixing her collar, she walks closely to Chanel who is now watching us silently. The other men get in the restroom and find the mess I made, they all look at each other meaningfully without saying anything.
"Follow me," Chanel looks at Rafa.
Rafa gives me a final once-over, her eyes look sad but I'm never gonna fall for it.
May dalawang armadong lalaki ang kumaladkad sa 'kin, nahuli ng mga mata ko iyong unang subok ng isa pang lalaki para bagukin ako pero iyong pangalawang sapok sa batok ko ay hindi ko na nagawang iwasan.
The next thing I know, before my body's completely overtaken by the darkness, I see several groups of armed men running around the building, their heavy steps clearly state they're in a warfare. Following by screams and a few gunshots, a total unexpected uproar start to make all of them disconcerted.
"Nakatakas!"
"Habulin niyo!"
"Shoot him dead!"
"Don't kill him yet!"
My head is spinning, eyes start to blur and I can't see them.
What's happening? There are people shouting all over, naririnig ko sila. Someone dragged on an area with lesser noise. I still don't understand what's taking place but the same warning flags that I identified in Meat You There last night are present once again before I lost it.
"Ezra..anak.."
"D-dad?" I mumble weakly, it's my dad's voice.
His screams were the last thing I heard, and in my eyes is the face of the woman who used to be my safe space, now the painful reason to feel in danger.
"Ez.." her beautiful face in my sight slowly turns to air.
Akala ko nananaginip lang ako, paggising ko nasa ibang lugar na ako at wala na sa kwarto. Tingin ko ay nasa parehong building pa rin kami pero sa ngayon ay nasa rooftop at malalim na ang gabi.
"N-no.." bulong ko nang dumapo ang paningin ko sa taong nakabulagta sa harapan ko ngayon, si daddy. Blood and wounds covering his face, and clothes. Sa daming galos at bugbog niya halos hindi ko na siya makilala. Agad ko siyang nilapitan at nanghihinang napaluhod sa harapan niya.
"Please wake up..dad.." naiiyak kong bulong, mayroong saksak ng kutsyilyo ang tagiliran niya.
Hindi ko matukoy kung ano'ng nangyayari, paggising ko nasa rooftop na ito na lang kaming dalawa. May posas pa ang kamay ko pero mas nanlulumo akong makita na nag-aagaw buhay ngayon ang ama ko, sa aking mismong harapan.
If all of their accusations to to him are true..
"Things shouldn't have handled this way. Fuck it," pag-uulit ko nang humihikbi, galit din naman ako sa kanya dahil sa mga nalaman ko pero hindi tama 'to. Admitting it, watching him like this right now fills my heart with so many emotions that I'm completely ripped between siding with him or resenting him. Sa empyernong ito, pakiramdam ko siya na lang ang natitirang kakampi ko.
Bumuhos ang luha ko nang maalala ko ang mga kapatid ko at ang mommy ko. Wala naman akong pakialam kung ako iyong mawala, ang hindi ko lang kakayanin ay ang mararamdaman nilang lahat.
"D-dad.." napunan ng katiting na pag-asa ang puso ko nang makita ko ang paggalaw ng talukap ng mga mata niya.
"L-let's go home, E-ezra.." he mumbles so helplessly that he hardly has the strength to move his lips or eyes to speak. "I'm so sorry my child, I'm sorry I failed to protect you..I'm s-sorry.."
"U-uwi tayo..dad.." singhal ko, patuloy sa pag-agos ang mga luha mula sa mga mata ko. My hope eventually fades as I end up repeatedly yelling his name out of pain as I tap his shoulders and cry his name to keep him awake till he loses consciousness.
I should get him out of here.As I turn to glance around, Rafa, who is holding a knife dripping with blood, leads me to stop dead in my tracks. Her appearance is lethal. Her pale face is covered in cuts, there's blood all over her white top and pants. Then, her blank but dangerous gaze fixed on my father's lifeless body.
"I'm s-sorry.." she mutters, her hands and lips shaking.
Mabilis kong hinablot ang baril na nasa mga kamay ni dad at walang pagdadalawang isip na itinutok 'yon sa kanya.
"Don't come any closer," I say firmly, sticking close to my father's body to safeguard him from her.
She freezes, "Ez-"
"Stay away from us!" nagngangalaiti kong sigaw sa paos na boses, sobrang hapdi na ng mga mata ko sa walang-tigil na pagbuhos ng luha.
"I didn't...oh gosh, Ezra it's not me.." she throws the knife on her side, but not quite enough to convince me that she is innocent and deserving of my trust. If it's not her, then what is this?
"Umalis ka na, iwan mo na lang kami rito," mariing sabi ko bago pa man ako makagawa ng isa pang pagsisisihan ko.
"I need you to first listen to me. I know it's all my fault, but you have to understand that I didn't mean to make you feel this way. Things simply did not go according to my plan, this is not what I had hoped for," she needs to restrain herself from crying even if it seems like she's about to break, it's no longer masked by her voice, "I'm sorry for hurting you."
"What the fuck did you think you were doing?" hindi ko binitawan ang baril, "Hindi ka pa rin tapos saktan ako hanggang ngayon!"
"I had to.." she cuts me off, "Ezra it's the only way.."
"Cut the cameras, Rafa. Tama ka na," umiling ako, dumapo ang tingin ko sa kutsyilyong hawak niya kanina na balut na balot ng dugo.
"I'm no hero to save all of you," she blinks her glossy eyes, fighting herself to breakdown, "I'd like to keep you all alive in any way I can. I'm still choosing you..pero kailangan ko rin silang iligtas at protektahan.."
"Enough...kahit kailan hindi na kita maiintindihan," umiling-iling ako.
"Like you, may pamilya rin ako-"
"I was not expecting you to dump your family for me!" pagsusumigaw ko, "Sana lang naging totoo ka kahit minsan..pero ano'ng ginawa mo?! Rafa you fooled me!"
"Everything I shared with you is real!" giit niya, ilang butil ng luha ang nangilid sa mg mata niya, hindi na niya napigilan pa, "I never really ever thought that you would mean so much to me like this. Kahit alam kong hindi pwede, pinilit ko pa rin..kinailangan kong magsinungaling kasi natakot ako. Ez...kung hindi ko gagawin 'to mawawala kayong lahat sa 'kin..the only way was to take a risky shot in the dark.." she pauses and wipes her face, "I can't lose him.."
Nangunot ang noo ko, ano'ng kasinungalingan na naman ba 'to?
"I can't lose Red.." she continues, tears streaming her face. She looks up helplessly, "Chanel is the brains behind it all."
"How do you expect me to believe you this time around?"
"Why is it so easy for you to think that I can do all of this to you?!"
"Dahil 'yon ang pinapakita mo pagkatapos ng lintik na date na 'yan! This is how you're making me feel until now!"
She tilts her head back, seeming dizzy, but she exudes boldness as though she still had the wherewithal to maintain a mean streak, "I don't know how I'm going to tell you this without making you even more mad. I can't do this in one-sitting especially here, if you will allow me to explain everything later, I'd do whatever to give it to you but right now, I hope it isn't too late for me to do something at least. Wala na tayong oras. Please take down your gun. I'll help you get out of here, but you have to trust me first."
Paano ko siya pagkakatiwalaan ngayon pagkatapos ng lahat?
"Kahit ano'ng gawin at sabihin mo, hindi mo na mabibilog ang ulo ko!" hinanakit ko habang lumuluha, nanginginig ang mga kamay niyang may mantsya ng dugo, "How can I be certain that the blood on you and your knife isn't from my father?!" ang sakit-sakit na tangina, "Lubayan mo na kami, umalis ka na bago pa kita masaktan.."
"Ez.."
"Umalis ka na!"
"But I just woke up like this," she steps backwards a little, "I didn't hurt your dad. The last thing I remember was when I went to the restroom with you, nag-usap kami ni Chanel..n-nagkagulo and then paggising ko nandito na ako."
"Stop deceiving me and just leave us alone, or I'll have to pull the trigger on this gun to force you to!" pagbabanta ko.
"Ezra..please.."
"Don't you fucking call me with my name again!" I shout, refusing to hear more of what she woud say..I just want to hear the end of it.
"I hope you can still forgive me in the next reality," she smiles faintly with tears falling across her face. "I'm so sorry..my love.."
Shaking, my chest gets tighter all the more she steps closer this time. Her hands covering her mouth while she's crying in front of me, it makes me weaker and weaker than ever. She seems to have something more to say but instead settles on repressing her tears.
"W-we're done.." I manage to say.
Nang makita ko ang tama ng baril sa balikat niya ay lalo akong nanghina, tila iyon ang dahilan kung bakit bawat hakbang niya palapit sa 'kin ay parang nauubusan siya ng lakas.
"Pull the trigger."
We both turn to the person whose voice intervenes us, it's Chanel Velazco. She's standing behind us wearing an amused expression as though she's watching one of her favorite movies.
"Come on, use the gun," she adds with a victorious smile.
In confusion, I switch the gun, point it to her and then quickly to Rafa. It kind of confuses me, what I'm certain of right now is both of them are my enemies. Chanel doesn't even hesitate to do anything nor does she stutter, she's just watching the two of us with her face filled of satisfying emotions.
"H-hindi pa ba kayo tapos? 'Di pa ba ninyo nakukuha mga gusto niyo?!" galit kong sigaw.
Nagpakawala lamang ng tawa si Chanel habang pumapalakpak, nagbago ang ekspresyon niya nang harapin siya ni Rafa. Anger is evident in her eyes as, the curve on her lips morphs into a more devilish grin.
"I wasn't expecting the drama from the two of you," kumento niya, "Akala ko sa mag-ama ko pa makukuha ang gusto ko," she gives Rafa a derogatory smile as she looks at her from head to toe, "Oh, I never thought you're the type to lose her sanity over a girl."
"Chanel.." Rafa mumbles weakly, Chanel makes her way to slap her in the face. I clench my teeth in response, feeling like my heart may cease whilst watching Rafa falls to the ground.
Nanghihina na siya, sobrang nanghihina.
"Akala mo hindi ko alam that all this time you're twisting my plans? Do you really think you can outsmart me? All of it shifted because of you! Kung mamamatay man silang lahat ay kasalanan mo dahil tinraydor mo ako!" she states, anger and look of being betrayed is apparent on her face, "Alam ko naman sa huli na babaliktarin mo ako because of our philosophical, ethics and moral differences, you should've done it better para hindi ka na umabot sa puntong 'to."
What are they saying? Alam kong marami pa akong kailangang malaman para mas maintindihan 'to pero parang hindi na kayang tanggapin ng utak at puso ko ang anuman ngayong gabi.
"I can't do it.." Rafa holds her face lightly, 'tila kinakapos na ito ng lakas pero sinubukan pa rin niyang tumayo. "Chanel..you knew from the start I couldn't give you everything you want."
"I just need your help, but all you've given me is nothing!"
"I did everything that I could.." Rafa breaks more into tears. "I did..to the point of losing myself."
"And losing them, isn't it?" mapanuyang humalakhak si Chanel, "Wala sanang mawawala sa 'yo kung umayon ka lang sa plano."
Hindi ko na alam kung sino at ano ang paniniwalaan at pagkakatiwalaan ko. Pilit kong itinutulak paalis sa isip ko ang namumuong mga palagay dahil sa mga nalalaman ko.
"W-where are they?" nanghihinang singhal ni Rafa, "Chanel..tell me where did you take them! Where's Red..my sister and my mom?! Pakawalan mo na sila please.." she looks at me, "L-let her go..this is enough..ako na lang ang pahirapan mo."
"And do you expect you're enough? Kung kaya mo naman palang bayaran lahat edi sana ikaw na lang ang siningil ko at noon pa kita pinatay! Isa na nga lang ang magagawa mo at 'yon ay ang makipagtulungan sa 'kin pero binaligtad mo pa rin ako!" Chanel looks at me. "Ikaw? When will you pull the trigger? She's waiting, oh. Kill her, she betrayed you right?"
Hinahanap ni Rafa si Red, Blue at ang mommy niya. Ibig sabihin ba nito nagsasabi siya ng totoo? Then here's Chanel, telling me things more to confuse me.
My hold on the gun steadies, making sure it's sharp and aiming at Rafa, but when Chanel moves to pick up the knife that was on the ground, I quickly point the weapon at her.
"Oh," Chanel quirks up her brow, "Is that enough to say you're siding Rafa? Ang rupok mo naman, kaya ka naloloko, eh. I get it now."
Ang kalmado niya, ni hindi ko makitaan ng kaba o takot.
"I'm not on anyone's side," I didn't move an inch from where I stand, "I could kill you both right now if you keep on provoking me."
"Do it," Chanel smiles.
"Ezra no.." Rafa mumbles, she breaks more into tears.
I step closer to them, my hands shaking but determined to do it.
"Pull the trigger," muling utos ni Chanel, palipat-lipat ko lamang na itinutok ang baril sa kanilang dalawa.
Pull the trigger..
Kill her..
Do it..
Chanel and Xiomara's voices play in my head like a broken record.
"Stop!!!" buong lakas kong sigaw, natagpuan ko na lamang ang sariling nakaharap sa babaeng mahal na mahal ko. Nanginginig pa rin ang mga kamay ko ngunit ngayo'y nakatutok na ang dalang baril sa kanya.
Everything I feel towards her is slowly breaking in shambles by the hurt of the betrayal, leaving me empty and pondering how much of it was ever real..
Nothing was real..
She made me believe that the dumb douchebag and playgirl I am could finally love someone..
I've asked this before, but fully knowing her response, I'm asking it again, "Did you ever love me?"
She begins to speak, but I am unable to fully understand her because of the loud chaos in my head that is turning into a hurricane I can no longer control-the voices keep telling me it's all too late, that taking life away is the only answer, around this time, I realize that the worst enemy I have been battling is my mind.
"This is our beginning, love," as soon as these words come out of my mouth, gunshots follow, "The beginning of our end.." then everything went silent.