Talias pov
You'd think I'd never crumble under pressure, especially when your under the arm of the one you've loved the most in the world.
I did.
I never told him I loved him, I never told him how I really felt. I knew it all along what I wanted, I wanted him, yet I let him go. I left him because I panicked and got scared of the thought of us. The thought of the in-front of the world scared me to death. And I couldn't hack it in the slightest.
I didn't stop crying for days, I isolated myself from the world answered no calls or texts vanished from the face of the earth for a while. Everything was my fault. And the guilt was overwhelming me.
Today was no different from the rest, my bed the same, my room the same and everything was dull in my life, my hair greasy and matted, I have to admit I did smell and not in a good way. It was like all the light and colour had been drained from me and everything was black a white again, just like before I met him. The tears starter falling again continuously rolling hot against my cheeks, my eyes puffy and red.
I constantly dreaded waking up because I knew what the day occurred of. Nothing.
I heard a knock on my door but ignored it as much as I could before I could hear their voice filling the dull apartment. I don't know who it was, it was definitely a man's voice but I couldn't tell who's but the muffles from the door.
"Talia I know your still in there, you haven't moved in days it's time to move"
I groaned and stayed in my position for the lasting few seconds that I could before the knocking continued.
I slowly made my way out of my bed and padded over to the door tears still hot against my cheeks refusing to stop falling no matter how hard I tried to stop them.
I unlocked the door for the first time in what felt like a lifetime and opened the door to meet Simons face, Fresh and clean unlike mine,
"Oh god talia, come here" Simon pulled me into a hug. I immediately broke down in his arms, he kept me up when my knees felt like giving up on me, I cried and cried not saying a word.
"You're in such a state"
"I know I am" I finally spoke
"Have you been like this all this time?"
I just nodded having no energy to speak whatsoever.
"You should have told someone you shouldn't have been alone like this tal"
"I don't want to see anyone" I kept my head down.
"That's a lie"
I deny even though I know that he's right I just don't want to admit it.
"How is he?" I ask raising my head
"He's fucking miserable but he's fighting on" he's said," he's lost without you tal"
Guilt washed over me like a wave almost threatened to make tears fall again but this time no sadness was felt, just anger. Anger at myself.
"Fuck sake" I jump up from my seat," I'm so fucking stupid, look what we had Simon, I was happy, he held me when I was lost, he reassured me that he would make sure that everything would be ok and look what I did I fucking walked out on him, WHO DOES THAT. I did I did that I left him, I hurt him I FUCKING HURT HIM, oh my god... I hurt the man I love"
I immediately looked up realising what I had just said.
"I love him"
"Then why are you stood here telling me"
It clicked. I knew what I needed to do.
I got up feeling a rush of adrenaline Corse through my veins.
"Hold on calm down a second before you rush off" he held my arms stopping me in my spot, " he's not in today remember he has his Wembley show today, he was gone way before six this morning"
"Ok , ok aghhh what am I gonna do, Simon if I don't tell him today I'm gonna explode with guilt"
" I know, right go get yourself sorted I need to call someone"
"Ok, Simon thank you so much you have no idea how much this means" I hugged him tight.
He hugged me back, " I do I know, now go get ready" he pushed me away to go sort myself out.
I jumped in the shower and took the quickest shower of my life, washing my hair, face and the rest of me. I did my hair and make up making sure that it was just how he liked it, my natural waves and very little make up.
I got myself dressed and walked back out of my room looking a lot better than the first time.
Simon was waiting on my sofa, when he saw me he stood up to meet me
"So I've got you in with the rest of us"
"Oh my thank you Simon" I said, "when do we leave?"
"We can leave now if ya want, meet the rest of the gang grab something to eat calm you down a bit before we go in"
"Sounds like a plan, let's go" I pushed just wanting to see him again.
We grabbed a taxi into Wembley box and met up with the rest of the people. With jj's show sides was packed and we had to agree to a quick Nando's. With every minute the clock ticked the more nervous I got to see him.
The time came to enter Wembley stadium, I departed from the rest of the gang to go off on my own, stupid I know but there were reasons why, one I didn't have access to the box they were in and I wanted to go off on my own to makes my own decisions without judgement from anyone else, this is my man who I'm gonna fight for on my own.
The crowd engulfed me, and before I even had time to register what was about to happen the music pounded through the speaker and he was out, jumping around and screaming looking happy with his fans and himself.
I decided that until the time was right I would enjoy myself best I could, I let the music absorb into me and I started flowing and dancing to the music. I saw the rest of the sidemen and mates dancing around in the box and everything so far was amazing and I felt slightly happy again.
An hour passed and the last song never followed along with another one. The place calmed down a slight bit.
"It so good to be here Wembley" jj started talking to the crowd, " however you will notice one song I'm not playing or should I say avoiding" my heart sunk as soon as it clicked," I wish I could sing this song to her today on of if my most important days in my music career, however that not happening any time soon so let's get this over with"
Holiday started through the speakers and then I started my fight to the front, thankfully I wasn't actually that far away and tired people didn't really put up much of a fight, he started singing away but it was easy to tell he wasn't feeling it as much as the other songs.
I caught the attention of some of the stewards when they saw me fighting for the front but I knew what I needed to do and they definitely weren't going to stop me from doing it.
I made it to the front with only little injuries.
As soon as I saw the railing I was already jumping for it, the closer I got to him the more my heart aches for him, jj was facing the other way which was not good, the stewards started making there way over to me when they saw what i was doing.
I was over the railing and making my way to the stage steps, three stewards on my back chasing me up the steps, jj had turned around to see what was going off the music stoped and the crowd went dead.
I was on the stage and didn't even give him time to Process what was going on before I crashed into his arms
Tears falling down my cheeks again as I warped my arms around his neck. Out of instinct his arms were around my waist is mili seconds and his head buried in my neck.
I pulled out of his chest and unwrapped my arms from his neck but his arms were firmly in place around my torso so I want going anywhere my hands hit his chest as I caught my breath.
"Jj listen to me, I'm so so sorry I pushed you away, I panicked and you gave me absolutely no reason to, I practically gave you a reason to hate me and..."
"No no I get you tal, you got scared"he cut me off leaning his forehead onto mine," I got scared too but I would never in a million years push you away"
"I know jj I massively fucked up and it wasn't fair on you at all, I'm so sorry, please forgive me jj, I- I can't live without you not anymore all I need in my life is you, you make me happy, you make me want to live" I took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes, " i-I love you"
His eyes lit up and all the colour flooded back I it his eyes, all the emotions fell back into place.
"Talia mar, I've loved you since the moment I set eyes on you"
His arms pulled me closer and his lips were on mine, my arms were back in there original place around his neck and every emotion I had was not held back into the amount of passion I put into that kiss and everything was returned, tears were still falling down my face, his hands traveled up my body and to my neck were he pulled me closer.
The crowd erupted when our lips crashed together. We pulled apart and faced the crowd of people the box of our friends was going insane. Jj kept a firm grip on my waist not letting me go anytime soon.
"Ladies and gentlemen I introduced to you my wonderful girlfriend talia mar" jj screamed into his microphone. " now how about we try that song one more time"
the crowd screamed again and the song started up again. I went to exit the stage so jj could perform but when I went to make my move he pulled me back to him facing directly at him, " your going nowhere" he Spoke still into the mic so everyone could hear him"
He sang his song but definitely not the the crowd, he sang it to me and it made my heart flutter in my chest. He never let go of me, not once scared I would leave him again but now that is the last thing I would be doing, never again.
Short but sweet I think, let me know what ya think and please please give me some ideas
-ebs 🔵