JACK:
"one of your playlists is named 'euphoric high'. boy that better not be referring to marijuana, that is the devil's lettuce you stay away from that evil substance"
"wake your ass up 6-8 is -2 so you only need -2 hours of sleep"
"I hate myself but honestly though- I'd have a crush on myself"
"you're such a disappointment to your mother and I"
CRUTCHIE:
"oh my goodness I forgot to check my horoscope"
"question: how many seagulls would have to be in your room before you become suspicious something is going on?"
"I've got a receding hairline okay?!? someone call obama"
RACE:
"gay 0rgy = banana pudding"
"you can be gay in the sheets but you gotta be straight in the streets"
"do you think s3x toys were alive in toy story too? like how do they feel🧍♂️or should I be asleep?
"they should make a monster flavor called man juice and make it 40% testosterone"
"Please take away my rights I cannot be trusted with freedom"
"I don't have a dirty mind, just a sexy imagination"
"vaping is dumb, if you're gonna get lung cancer, do it with cigarrettes"
ALBERT:
"SEND YOUR USERNAME I WANT TO JOIN YOUR SATANIST S3X CULT"
"bro how do they reverse a vasectomy? do they just store your d1ck in a jar and give it back?"
"ARE WE SLICING UP D1CKS AND SERVING THEM WITH NILLA WAFERS"
"I'm not full of myself, I'm just awesome"
"who needs safety when you've got entertainment"
"I hope his foreskin gets ripped off by his zipper 😈😈🥰"
"I am submissive but I'm not breedable because I'm trans"
JOJO:
"I wanna be someone's discord kitten, that would be nice"
"do you eat the orange with or without the crust"
"I think we're both afraid to die on a bike by a high schooler driving a 4 runner"
"the people in california need jesus"
BLINK:
"does anyone else live in perpetual fear of cheese graters?"
"overdose on tylenol then piss out your little rock friend"
"BRO I SAID AGENDER NOT AGE DOESN'T MATTER"
"tampons would be a good food"
"I could iron my shirt on ryan reynolds' stomach"
"in my church they would b3at you if you fell asleep"
MUSH:
"I miss mothers' day. I wish people would post their hot moms more often"
"sticks and stones don't break my bones but children fucking suck"
"I hate kids but like I really wanna be pregnant. I feel like it'd be a really vibey experience"
"When I die can you yassify my boat?"
"it's my turn with the tampon"
"what would it take to make lord capulet a real person just so he could call me a saucy boy"
SPOT:
"If you call me peanut again i will stick your head in a giant nutcracker and jump on the handle"
"i look like the cause of clear backpacks"
"don't worry we were just talking about g*n v10l3nce"
"stop being a considerate human being"
"I don't want your d1ck juices on it... I have your d1ck juices on it now"
"I don't eat I drink vodka"
DAVEY:
"is there mormon cryptocurrency? they should make one, it'd be on brand"
"I'm coming for your toe joints"
"you're comparing a vaccine to a granola bar"
"look at how many presents Santa has delivered, it looks like the national debt going up"
"stop being a white male"
"you have such a unique last name but you're such a generic looking high school boy"
"what are you? 5 foot? that might be generous"
"ypu are in ninth grade. profanity is for when you're 23 years old"
LES:
"where in wakanda is africa?"
"I did way more better"
"you look like a prepare grade"
"Santa tracker pissed me off so I hacked it (successfully)"
"ratatouille changed me"