Percy stood before the council, watching them individually for any sort of reaction. But no one gave anything of their thoughts away. Everyone sat stoically. Chiron stood behind him, ready to defend him if necessary, but hoping it wasn't. His father was gripping his trident tightly, the only outward sign of anxiety he showed. Percy shoved his hands in his pockets, clenching his fists. He thought he was prepared for what was going to happen, but it didn't make it any easier for his nerves.
"Perseus Jackson, Son of Poseidon. You know why you're here?" Zeus asked, voice low and rumbling. Threatening.
"No, my lord." Percy answered, firmly, but keeping his head down.
"So. You don't even deny what you've done?" Athena accused.
"My lady, if I knew what I was being accused of I'd be able to better defend myself. Perhaps informing me of my crimes isn't too much to ask?" Percy tried to keep the growl out of his voice, but he was getting very annoyed. He'd been back from Tartarus nearly three months, and was trying his best to get back to normal, but it wasn't easy. He woke constantly from nightmares and the only thing that helped calm him down was physical activity. He ran. A lot. Or went for long walks through the park. He went to an all-night boxing club on occasion, where the owner tried getting him to participate more in their matches.
"Do not take that tone with us, boy." Zeus growled, lightning arcing off his arms. "You have been causing uncountable storms along the eastern seaboard. Not to mention the earthquake that struck New York not even a week ago."
"You are a danger to the world and those around you." Athena agreed through clenched teeth.
"I'm attempting to control things the best I can. Something happened to be in Tar-" Percy cleared his throat as it constricted, "Tartarus. Something broke in me. I'm open to any help the council is willing to provide?" Percy quirked an eyebrow at the gathered gods who sneered at him. Aside from his father, Aphrodite, Hestia, Artemis, and Apollo.
"If you cannot control your abilities, then you do not deserve them." Hera sniffed.
"I didn't ask for this to happen to me!" Percy shouted, losing his cool.
"You dare raise your voice to us? You dare shout at the gods?!" Zeus thundered. "Before I'm through with you, boy, I'm going to make you wish you were dead." Percy scoffed.
"Wish granted, my lord." Percy stated in a small, broken voice. "Perhaps it's best to wish for something else?"
The room grew quiet and cold as they took in his words. He rubbed a hand over his tired face, the dark circles under his eyes suddenly looking more pronounced than they had when he arrived. He was so tired. Tired of fighting only for the gods to talk down on him. Tired of losing friends. Of funeral pyres. Of waking up in a cold sweat where he'd seen Tartarus staring him down. He dropped his hand and looked up to see the gods were just observing him. As if seeing him fully for the first time.
"Is that truly what you wish, son?" Poseidon asked, sounding broken.
"I've wished to die at least once a year since I was five. Probably more often. You have no idea, do you? You have no idea what your kids go through? If the person they are left with is abusive or marry someone abusive? Do you know what it's like to hide from a parent or step-parent so they won't find you and take out their anger on you? It's easy to hide until you no longer fit under a bed or in the linen closets. Then you have to learn to hide the bruising or broken bones or clean up the cuts so no one sees. Then you find out about the Greek life. About being a demi-god. And suddenly it's no longer mortal monsters you're hiding from. I've lost so many people ..." Percy swiped at his face feeling angry tears seep out of his eyes.
"Before I knew about you all existing, I was accused of a crime I didn't commit. I got all of one week of training as a demi-god before I was forced to take on my first quest. I was barely two, maybe three, days into that quest when I was attacked by echidna and fell from the arch in St. Louis. Do you know what I thought about as I realized I was still alive at the bottom of the river? That maybe everyone was better off with me dead. That if I had died, the world would have been a better place." Percy saw Hestia struggling with her own tears, and Aphrodite had a hand to her face, trying not to cry herself.
"When I ended up in the sea of monsters trying to help Clarisse get the golden fleece, and I thought Tyson had died, I hoped that I could die. When Bianca di Angelo died while we searched for Lady Artemis, I wished it had been me instead of her. When I went through the labyrinth, and Mount St. Helens erupted, I was certain I was going to die. And I didn't mind. I was glad that I would no longer be around to cause anymore pain for anyone. I expected to die before I turned 16 because a prophecy said a hero would die. And I accepted that it would be me. I didn't falter leading your children into battle even though I expected I would die. When Hera stole my memories and left me with the Romans, I didn't think I would survive the quest to Alaska. But as long as Hazel and Frank were safe, and Camp Jupiter was safe, I accepted it. Then Rome happened. And me and Annabeth fell. I nearly died in the Cocytus, because I felt like I deserved it.
"When we took on the Arai ... I still don't know how I survived the number of curses they inflicted. Then we met Akhlys." Percy visibly shuddered, remembering the encounter in 4k resolution. "Something in me broke when I took control of her poison and used it against her. I turned her poison against her. But we got out. Nico led everyone to the Doors of Death and we were able to get out. Then Jason and I faced off against Polybotes. He sent a wave of poison at me, and even though I knew I could stop it, I felt like I deserved to be punished. To die. For everything I had done to survive in the deepest, darkest part of the underworld. But time and time again I managed to come out alive. And here you all sit, as if I should be thankful to you for being alive. So no, Lord Zeus. I don't think there's anything you can do to make me wish I was dead, more than I already do."
"Perseus ..." Poseidon whispered, and Chiron put a hand on Percy's shoulder's that were still shaking.
"If you can help me, please. Help me." Percy said in a broken, raspy voice. "Otherwise just kill me and get it over with already."
"Go home, Perseus. Go see your mother and step-father, Paul. We will send someone if you are needed again." Hestia said gently, taking his hands in hers. "You are not alone, dear one."
"Thank you, Auntie Hestia." Percy said softly, giving her a watery smile.
"I'll ensure he gets there, my lady." Chiron nodded to her, before ushering Percy out and back home.
"It seems, Lord Zeus," Hestia growled, turning on her brother, "that you have not yet learned the value of family. Do you know what young Perseus did on the eve of his birthday? When you all were off fighting Typhon and I was here tending the hearth?" Zeus scowled at her but made no other comment. "He gave me an offering. He gave me the pithos of Pandora. Hope." Hestia swiped a final tear from her face. "His wish, when he saved us all, was that we remember what family was. That we act as one once more. We are gods. We should not have to tell our children that we care for them. They should know. By how we act towards them. I have witnessed too many of our children experience what dear Perseus has experienced. Gods should behave better."
"I need to go. I will protect my son now, as I have failed to do in the past." Poseidon stated, then flashed away from Olympus.
"I believe we should conclude and reconvene when a dire matter is actually occurring." Aphrodite stated, rising to her feet. "I need to see my children." And then she was gone from Olympus as well. After a time, the only ones remaining were Dionysus, Apollo, Artemis, Hera, Athena, Zeus, and Hestia. Hestia sat tending her flames while the others stood around her.
"You really have no idea what these young heroes go through, do you?" Dionysus asked, looking at his father, before looking back down and shaking his head. "I encourage you all to visit camp at some point just to watch how much they care for each other. They may not have the families they always dreamed of, but they have each other. They are a family. And it seems a shame I am the only one who ever sees it."
"You're right, D. We've neglected them too long. I may not have children in the camp, but I would like to see their bond. If it is acceptable, I would like to come and spend time there." Artemis offered.
"I think we have made a grave miscalculation with this demi-god." Hera stated, looking as though the words tasted foul. "He is the heart of our camp. And if he has wished for death this often, then what of the other heroes?"
"If all we do is threaten to kill them after they've endured even a fraction of what Perseus has endured, I don't know how we have any of them still on our side." Apollo said gravely.
"It is late. The children have all gone to bed, by now. Perhaps in the morning, when we have had time to absorb all of Perseus' words, we can look forward to a brighter future. One where our children do not expect or wish for death." Athena said, though her hands were shaking. Her daughter had gone through Tartarus with Percy, and she could only hope that she was not as traumatized as he was.
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When Percy arrived home, his mother hugged him tight and so did Paul. They ushered him straight to bed and wrapped him up, combing hands through his hair. Poseidon watched them interact and wished he could have been a part of it. Paul noticed him first and nodded toward him, causing Sally to look up. They each kissed Percy's head and left Poseidon alone with him, seeing the conflicting emotions pass over his face. He lowered himself on Percy's bed and tugged his son close, so he was practically laying across his chest.
"I'm so sorry, my son." Poseidon whispered, his tears dripping in Percy's hair. Percy sighed deeply in his sleep, his body losing its tension, as he snuggled closer to his father. "I'll fix this. We'll all work to make sure none of you ever wish for death again. We will. Because you were right. As was Hestia. Gods should behave better. You're never alone, Perseus." Poseidon continued speaking softly to his son, watching him sleep and soothing his nightmares. There was so much he had to fix. So much damage he had to undo. It would take time. But he would not let Percy go through it alone. Never again.