I saw Heejin right behind me with eager eyes and I knew what was happening. I looked ahead and saw them gone already so I closed the glass door, staying back. I knew we'd have to do this no matter how much I ignored it for the past few days. And I knew what I had to say, I knew how I felt.
"What is it?"
"Yuri... y-you know it right?"
She looked at me with her eyes glistening, either because of the moonlight or because she was trying to prevent her tears from falling. I saw her gulp and her lip quivered a little before speaking.
"Yuri, I'm sorry. I'm sorry f-for everything I've caused to you. I-I know I need to apologize to a lot of people but I thought you deserved the biggest one."
"You know a sorry doesn't change the past right?"
We had a direct eye contact, her eyes so hurt and tired but I knew I couldn't just move on with my life with her pretending like nothing happened. She had done a lot, put me into a hot mess questioning my own sanity. I had no idea what was going on. It was lonely, it took up all my endurance until I was finally ready to give up.
My voice was cold and firm, even me myself not believing it but there was no going back now. I couldn't look at her the same even if she cries or begs. It'll take me a long while, probably forever to finally forgive her and get things back to normal. Even though I know she's suffering, probably a lot more than I am, I had to cut this rope of misery trapping us together from so long. It was for the good, not all stories were meant to end happily.
Heejin's eyes and nose were puffy already. The light falling on her created a warm ambience with the dark night sky and the moonlight falling on us. And still, there was nothing warm about this. The shine allowed me to see the tears building up in her eyes as I fought, preventing mine from falling. It almost made me want to break down telling her it will all be fine hearing her cracked sorrow voice.
"Yuri I-I know it's h-hard for you but I-I'm suffering too."
"Because of what you did."
She looked at me as I tried pushing away the voice in me yelling at myself, for not showing any sympathy towards her. It was then that the memories flooded in me. All the times we bunked classes together, bickered like real friends, made people question our sexualities, her weird- what I called "traumatizing" laugh, all the times we shipped teachers. It was all a part of her plan, to get close to me to get her revenge.
And she got her revenge. From someone who never hurted her.
I heard a sniff as I saw her rubbing the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"You know Yuri, a-after the fall I-I had to spend seven months in the hospital. I-I always wondered why no one from my school came to visit me. I was alone i-in that sickening room f-for so long I-I went insane."
My eyes turned red this time as I continued to listen to her, who was on the verge of breaking down. Her voice quivered, her words were barely understandable with all her cries.
"I had no friends f-for those three years. I-I got mad t-thinking I'd kill t-the person who killed me. A-and then I met you, I-I always thought there was n-no way such a sweet girl killed me, a-and that c-caused me to h-hate you from the i-inside even more." She continued, looking away from the girl infront of her, who now was sobbing.
"But everytime w-we hung out, I'd always have my mind at peace. I-I thought I finally had a friend w-who loved me a-and cared abo-"
Heejin finally broke down, letting everything out as she felt Yuri run and hug her doing the same. They shared a good minute crying into their embraces realizing how much platonic love they shared. It was then that they knew this was probably their last hug. They knew they had different ways, they couldn't be together even if they forced each other to.
"H-heejin w-why don't you get checked?"
"I am. Next week itself. I'll have to spend months if not years in the hospital, possibly an asylum."
Heejin pulled out wiping her tears again while Yuri couldn't believe her situation was this bad. She needed a break from Heejin but she didn't think she'd get such a long one. Heejin looked up, smiling even though her eyes were heavy, filled with hope.
Hope that she'd finally be geniuenly happy for once in her life.
Yuri wiped away her tears, looking down not knowing what to say even though her thoughts were filled. She couldn't believe this was the last time they'd meet in years. It just felt like yesterday when everything was fine, they were hanging out, laughing, making corny inappropriate jokes.
But here they were, with heavy feelings in their hearts, so many regrets that'd probably stain their souls forever.
"H-heejin-ah... l-lets have a fresh start shall we?"
Yuri looked up to Heejin with a small smile, trying to mask away her feelings. Heejin tried smiling too, gazing at Yuri wondering how lucky she got to meet such a precious soul in her life. She knew a lot will happen after a week and it'd hurt her and she'd have to endure it all again alone in the deadening hospital walls where she'd be labeled as a "mentally ill maniac." But she knew she deserved it, she was happy, and knew Yuri would keep her going if she knew after it was all over, she'd meet her.
"Let's forget- t-try, to forget everything. And when you're back, y-you'll see me here ready to make the better version of us." Yuri assured.
"You'll wait for me?"
"O-ofcourse I will. I will, Lisa will and Jimin and T-taehyung will."
Heejin looked down again wiping off her tears. She'd never been this overwhelmed In her life. She was filled with gratitude but she knew this wasn't the time to express all of it.
"Let's start over Hmm?"
Heejin looked up, her hand- she never knew was holding Yuri's, finally detached and she knew this was the last touch they'd share.
"Hello, I'm Lee Yuri from XXX University."
Yuri's lips quivered as she smiled, hearing Heejin take a deep shaky breath.
"N-nice to meet you." She began, smiling.
"I'm Jeon H-Hyunjin from XXX University."
The both shared a final look of touching smiles and their geniune care for each other in their eyes. Yuri's mind screamed telling her to not burst out crying until this over. It was the last time they'd see each other in so long.
"So, Jeon Hyunjin. Take care."
Yuri smiled, registering Heejin's sorrowful yet peaceful face for the last time before turning around. She could still hear Heejin's uneven breaths as she walked towards the door, as if she wanted to say something yet stopped herself. A tear, followed by an army of others left her eyes as she let out her last few words.
"Until we meet again."
I ran outside without another word, my tears falling uncontrollably. I felt myself being crashed into a hug as I looked up to find myself in Taehyungs arms who lightly patted my head. I couldn't care less at the moment. I hugged him tighter, crying on his shoulder, while he let me. I mumbled random things on his shoulder like a drunk lady but he didn't seem affected by it at all. It was this second that I was so lucky to have him in my life.
He was with me through it all, passively. I couldn't imagine how different things would be without him.
I felt the fabric of his shirt get wetter with my head against his chest. I didn't want him to see me like this even though I knew that's the last thing he'd care about. My enemy is now the most important person in my life.
"Relax. You did well."
He said in his rare comforting voice somehow making me cry harder. He caressed my hair as my ugly sniffs got muffled in his embrace. I felt warm with him. He made me forget everything else. I felt the hug lighten so I pulled out, rubbing my eyes as he looked down making me face him.
"Aish- Your nose is all red."
"Hmm"
The only answer I could give him at the moment. I felt my hands detach from my eyes, held aside by his. His palm pressed into my cheeks as he wiped my tears off. I knew this man was a softie from the inside. I blinked rapidly trying to get rid of the tears that blurred my vision. His eyes were locked on mine as he bent down closer, holding my hand.
"No more crying okay. It's for the good."
I nodded as he ruffled my hair making me frown at him. I knew he was right. He probably saw everything and he probably knew this was gonna happen.
I knew I had to wait until I got home for my next breakdown but at the moment I was so glad to be with him. Taehyung had waited for me and he knew I'd need him. Just when his face was about to swerve away from mine, our heads turned to see Jimin- with a cheeky smile in one corner holding a camera facing us.
"I knew Ponytail girl and you were a thing."
♤
I lay on my bed with the phone in my hands, sighing seeing the new trending post on the school platform. Uploaded by an "anonymous", of Taehyung cupping my cheeks, our faces so close to each other. The comments were flooded as I judged, reading some of them.
My room's door opened with my mom standing against it with a warm smile. She was eyeing my dress and chuckled.
"Yuni-ah... want to sleep with Eomma and Appa today?"
"YES! Eomma, why did it take you so long to bring up!?"
I exclaimed getting up from my bed. She looked at me with adoration in her eyes something that never changed over the years. 3 days and it'll be months again till the next time I meet my parents again.
"Alright dear, change your dress and come to our room."
I nodded as she closed the door. I can't believe how fast time passes. Just 2 weeks back when they came, me and Lisa were wondering if Heejin was behind both of our dreams and now Heejin is going away for years. I opened her chat on CacaoTalk and saw no new messages. I closed my phone and got up, walking to my wardrobe.
What had I expected. Ofcourse, it'd only make it harder for her to leave. I noticed 9+ messages on our friend group's groupchat and I knew what it was about, so I decided to open it later.
It still didn't feel like Heejin was leaving. It hasn't hit me yet, the only reason I haven't broken down for the second time. It feels like, I'll walk out of my house on Monday for school and there she will be waiting for me, ready to go to school together. Only that she won't.
She won't be there to defend me from Taehyung, to go shopping together, to have pillow fights, to make comments about random people on the streets and I guess I'll just have to accept that. In 3 years I'll be graduating college... that long to meet her again.
I let out an annoyed groan suprisingly not sad. I looked at myself in the mirror, smiling at myself even though my eyes had tears in them
Hopefully this time it'll be better.
We'll go back to how we were at the start. And probably, this time it will be different. There'd be no sleepless nights, no breakdowns, Heejin won't be suffering alone, neither will I or Lisa.
We'll just be like 5 normal friends with our own lives, fated together.
And hopefully in another Universe, none of this mess would've happened.
Vernon wouldn't have scammed Heejin for the money, Heejin wouldn't have been bullied and thrown off. Then Lisa wouldn't have an accident with Taehyung, Taehyung wouldn't have lost his hearing and parents. Heejin and Lisa wouldn't have lost their memory, Heejin wouldn't have hated me, and Lisa nor I would've been facing the devil at night.
I wouldn't have hated Heejin, and she wouldn't have to go away to the mental asylum.
Maybe this is what needs to be done in order for things to get better. And it's just one of the factors in life that's inevitable-
Change.
Just next week we got our exam marks. Heejin's were mailed to her and she was admitted just the day after the party. It took a while for us to adjust to it but most of us were okay. Heejin needed it and we had to stay strong for each other.
"Seriously!? Only an 86?" Taehyung yelled seeing my Computer Science marks as I pushed him away.
Lisa was first in Botany and it didn't effect me anymore. I was happy for us, for all of us. The school ground was filled with emmense pleasure after so long.
"I can't believe Jimin secured first in Law. Like that petty ass brain actually works?" Dahyun yelled causing Jimin to argue.
I couldn't help but admire the scene from afar with a light heart. I looked down into my paper seeing the scores.
96.7% |89.5%
86.2% |79.3%
Over the past months so much had changed. I didn't have to fake it in anymore, I was much happier now. I had perfect friends, good enough grades and my bruises were almost healed. Everyone was happier. Taehyung was no longer known as the "Ace of the Academy." He was addressed by his name, as he wanted it and the basketball team's fight was settled. Airee finally moved on from Hoseok and finally found her love. The school was financially stable and the staff was back.
Lisa and I had moved on from our past traumas and she reconnected with her old schools dance team through Yena. Taehyung and her were fine now and Taehyung had finally got his justice for his parent's death. Mostly, Hyunjin's case that I had dreaded about for for long was finally solved.
We were all healing through things we never talked about.
And even if I want it to be like this, obstacle-free, for the rest of my life, I know that can never happen. There'll always be another breakdown, another misunderstanding, another fight and another doubt. And just like I've been doing for the past years; I'll have to smile and realize it'll all be over soon. I guess that just how the world works, you never know what's coming next.
"Yaah Yuni, listen." I heard Taehyung whispering into my ear while staring into the busy crowd ahead us.
"What do you want dickhead?" I spat, getting back at my game.
"You see Dahyun and Yoongi?" He asked, pointing at them.
I looked ahead and saw Dahyun clinging onto Yoongi, who had his gummy smile on while pretending he hated her nags. The students around them cheered as Dahyung pouted, acting like she was going to kiss Yoongi on his cheek. I chuckled at the cute couple and spoke.
"Yea I see them."
"Don't you think..."
Taehyung looked at me with his lips curved into a smirk as he took one final glance at the students gathered. He looked back at me his eyes sending me into another universe. I was utterly confused as he leaned in with that sly smile still drawn upon him. His lips right next to my neck, whispered in my ear and his next words told me that this was the next turn in my life.
"Don't you think we're next?"
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The end.
~Kernkura