Dipper's sleep was restless. Filled with loud crashing, sounds of construction equipment, and the splintering of wood. With the sight of mechanical monsters ripping his new home to shreds, of Gideon standing over the rubble, and the setting sun becoming a lone eye staring at him. Bill's laugh echoed through his mind.
Dipper woke with a start, panting heavily. He glanced around the living room. After Gideon had kicked them out of the Shack, the Pines family had no choice but to move in with Soos' grandmother. Dipper had fallen asleep on the pull-out couch he and Soos had to share. Mabel and Stan each had their own sleeping bags on the floor, and Soos' grandma was sitting in her recliner.
"Shh," the elderly woman hushed. "Por favor."
"Sorry, Abuelita," Dipper apologized, rubbing his tired eyes.
"Yeah, quit it with the night terrors," Stan said. "The news is finally on."
"In a movement that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing," Shandra Jimenez said on the TV, "child psychic Gideon Gleeful has taken surprise ownership of the Mystery Shack, previously belonging to area shyster, Stanford Pines."
At that, an image of Stan in a devil costume surrounded by fire was put up on the screen.
"That picture's taken out of context," Stan said.
"Now that you have the Shack, what exactly are you planning to do with it?" Shandra asked Gideon.
"I have a big announcement to make today," the boy said happily, "and I'd like to cordially invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to anyone who wears their Gideon pins! It's my face!"
With a final wink from Gideon, Stan shut off the TV in annoyance.
"I can't believe Gideon got the Shack," the old man said somberly. "I never thought he'd actually do it."
Dipper looked away guiltily. Stan didn't know it, but as far as the boy was concerned, this was all his fault. In retrospect, using Bill as a distraction while Gideon brute-forced his way through the safe seemed like an incredibly obvious play. And yet, Dipper hadn't even considered the possibility until it was too late. So much for being the one that used his head.
"So you lost the Shack," Soos said. "Look on the bright side, dudes! Now you get to live here with me, Soos! Hey, does anyone want to play race cars? They're out of batteries but we can make pretend."
"... We gotta get the Shack back," Stan said looking at Soos flatly.
[The Next Day at the Shack]
"Hello, Gravity Falls!" Gideon greeted from his stage in front of the Shack.
The large crowd began applauding at the child performer as he did several stage bows.
"Gideon is the psychic-est," Lazy Susan said to Toby Determined as they clapped. "He guessed the secret ingredient to my coffee omelet!"
"Somehow he knew about my horrifying secret birthmark!" Toby chimed in.
"I love that child psychic so much!" Manly Dan exclaimed.
While Manly Dan proceeded to choke the life out of Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland due to his emotions, the Pines family plus Soos snuck into the back of the crowd wearing black trench coats and fedoras (nice), with Mabel even wearing glasses and a fake mustache. Well, Soos wasn't wearing a fedora, but rather his usual cap, with a paper that said "Not Soos" taped on it.
"We're in," Mabel said, trying her best at a secret agent voice.
"If anyone asks," Soos said, pointing to his hat, "I'm not Soos."
"Ladies and gentlemen!" Gideon declared, grabbing the audience's attention. "Today I am delighted to announce my plans for the former Mystery Shack. I give you... Gideonland!"
The crowd cheered as Gideon unveiled a small model of what the amusement park would look like. A few rides, a roller coaster, and a giant statue of Gideon in the center. Dipper thought that it didn't look all that impressive for a theme park, but the rest of the audience seemed to think it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
"We're gonna turn this dirty ol' shack into three square miles of Gideon-tertainment," the child performer announced. "And introducin' our new mascot, Lil' Gideon Jr.!"
Bud Gleeful pulled a cover off of something in his hand, revealing Waddles dressed up in a Gideon costume.
"Boom, he's a pig!" Gideon said with a smile.
"Waddles!" Mabel cried. "You monster!"
"All right, that's it!" Stan said as he ripped off his disguise and pushed to the front of the crowd.
The Pines pushed their way onto the stage, Stan taking over the microphone.
"Listen up, people!" the old man announced. "Gideon's a fraud! This kid broke in and stole my property!"
"Arrest him, officers!" Mabel said to the two cops.
The girl looked to her side, expecting her brother to chime in, but was confused to see that he was still in the crowd, wearing his disguise. She gave her brother an angry "get your butt up here" look, but he just shook his head.
"Such accusations!" Gideon said, feigning hurt. "Mr. Pines, I recall you gave the property to me. Look, here's the deed right here!"
Gideon pulled the deed out of his suit, and the sheriff and deputy each nodded.
"Well," Blubs said, "that's all the proof I need to see."
"I love you, Lil' Gideon!" Durland cried out. "Sing them funny songs!"
At his legal approval, Gideon snapped his fingers. Two extra burly bodyguards walked up behind Stan and Mabel. The two Pines were grabbed, arms pinned behind their back, and carried off the stage. Mabel thrashed violently, but couldn't break out of the vice grip she was held in.
"Hey!" Mabel exclaimed. "Lemme go!"
"Now get off my property, old man!" Gideon spat, slapping a Lil' Gideon pin on Stan's suit.
"I'll show you who's the old man!" Stan shouted, before wincing at an ear-splitting sound. "Ow, my hearing aid! Ow!"
Gideon laughed as the two were escorted off stage. "Thanks for visiting Gideonland, friends! Don't come back, I don't care for y'all."
Dipper and Soos met up with Mabel and Stan as they were shoved off of the premises. Mabel stuck her tongue out at the guy who manhandled her, kicking a rock in his direction.
"You try that again and you're gonna be in a world of hurt!" Mabel shouted at his back, before rounding on her brother. "What the heck, Dipper!? Why didn't you come up with us!?"
"Because going up on stage and accusing Gideon of stealing the Shack was never going to accomplish anything," Dipper responded simply. "In case you haven't noticed, Gideon has the entire town wrapped around his finger. No one is going to believe he stole it."
"Well, we have to do something!" Mabel exclaimed.
"We have to do something that'll work," Dipper corrected. "We've gotta be smart about this, or we'll never get the Shack back."
"We'd better get it back."
The kids turned and saw Wendy rolling up to the group on a bicycle.
"If I can't work at the Shack, my dad's gonna force me to move upstate to work at my cousin's logging camp," Wendy said dejectedly.
"What?" Dipper asked, momentarily unable to hide his disappointment. "You're leaving town?"
Wendy nodded with a sad look before a grimace took over her face. "Oh man, guys. Don't look now."
"Take me back, Wendy!" Robbie called as he stepped out of the brush, lifting a boombox playing sad music over his head. "My arms are too skinny to keep holding this boombox forever!"
The redhead let out an annoyed huff and rolled her eyes as she started pedaling off. "I was never here."
"Have you been getting my texts?" Robbie shouted as he chased after the girl. "Do I need to send you more texts? Wendy!"
"... Is it wrong that that made me feel a bit better?" Dipper asked his sister.
Mabel thought for a moment. "Naw, pathetic Robbie is best Robbie."
[Later, at Abuelita's house]
"Don't worry, your son and daughter are fine," Stan said over the phone. "I put 'em up in- Okay, okay. Are you sure though? Cause I can always ... Oh. No matter what, huh? Okay, sure. We can do that. N-No, it's no trouble! Not at all! Right, I'll, uh... keep 'em outta your hair, then. Yeah, talk later. I'll let you know if there are any problems. Hello? You there...?"
Stan hung up the phone and glanced around Abuelita's kitchen. Frayed wires on the toaster, mess everywhere, and a fridge with only a mostly-finished jug of milk. He checked his pockets, but they were empty. No funds at all.
The old man sighed. ' What am I gonna do...? '
While Stan was realizing just how few options he had, Dipper leaned against the wall outside the kitchen, grimacing. He'd heard the conversation and could guess what his parents had said. Dipper wished he could say he was surprised that his parents didn't want them back until summer was over, or at all for that matter. But that was pretty much what he'd expected. Their parents likely wouldn't let them back home early even if they wound up homeless.
So running away wasn't an option. That was fine by him. Running away wasn't his style anyway. So It was succeed or fail, get their home back or live under a bridge for the next month and a half.
Game on, Gideon.
[Meanwhile, at the Shack]
Gideon laughed as he threw a family photo of Stan and the twins in the fireplace, the image burning nicely. The boy began leafing through the pages of Journal 2, looking for the specific page he needed.
While he was looking, he became distracted by a scratching sound. He turned and saw Waddles trying to escape through the window. Gideon harshly blew a dog whistle, causing Waddles to fall over and cry in pain.
"You!" Gideon barked. "Back to your corner!"
Waddles darted back to his designated corner, shivering in fear and whimpering softly. Gideon gave the pig a nod, looking back to his book as Bud Gleeful walked into the room.
"I've been meaning to ask you, boy," Bud said. "Shouldn't you be celebratin' Gideonland instead of stickin' your head in that there book all day?"
"Father, have I ever told you the true nature of this book?" Gideon asked.
"Ah, well no, son," Bud answered, not sure what the boy was getting at.
"It was written many years ago," Gideon explained, "by a brilliant unknown Author who learned secrets too powerful for one man. He hid his Journals where he thought no one would ever find 'em. Because he knew that if the Journals were ever bought together, they would unleash a gateway to unimaginable power."
"Unimaginable power?" Bud asked.
"A device of great and terrible capabilities," Gideon clarified. "His instructions on where it is and how to find it is split between the Journals. Codes and maps within my Journal have led me to believe that the other book is buried somewhere on this very property, and I intend to find it!"
"So that's why you wanted the Mystery Shack," Bud said.
"That's right, Father," Gideon answered with a nod as he grabbed his shovel. "It's time to begin the search for the other Journal!"
[The nexy day,]
"Hum, dum, da-dum," Mabel mumbled to herself as she stirred a pot of pink liquid. She sniffed the concoction, satisfied, and set a lid over the pot to let the mixture settle. As she looked at her cooking creation, she heard steps approach her from behind. She turned around and smiled at the sight of her brother entering the kitchen.
"Morning, Bro," Mabel greeted.
"Mabel, we need to..." Dipper trailed off as he saw the steaming pot cooking on the stove. "What are you doing?"
"Everyone's been kinda down," Mabel said with a light tone. "What with the whole 'losing our home and Waddles to Gideon' thing. So I figured I'd cook up a nice treat to lift our spirits while we figure out a way to grind Gideon into a chubby, manicured paste."
Dipper's eyes widened. "Tell me that's not-"
"Mabel Soup!" the girl confirmed happily. "Abuelita didn't have any sprinkles, but she had some pretty-looking glitter that I figured would work."
"Uh-huh..." Dipper said with a nod, and a step back. "I just remembered I have to... not be here."
"Dipper?" Mabel called as her brother dashed out of the room, unaware of the shuddering pot behind her. "Where are you go-?"
The chef(?) was cut off, as the shaking of the pot jostled the lid loose. As the cover started to slip off, the concoction within exploded out of the pot. In an instant, the entire kitchen was coated in a thick pink goop. Mabel blinked as most of her body was covered in the surprisingly sticky slime. She stuck out her tongue and licked some of the goo off her face. With an experimental taste, she chewed and swallowed the "soup".
"Hm," Mabel said. "Maybe it needs more cornstarch?"
Dipper poked his head back into the kitchen. "You should seriously sell the recipe for this stuff to the military."
"NEVER!"
Dipper sighed. "I'll get the Windex. After we clean this up, we need to talk."
[One cleaning montage later]
Dipper and Mabel sat on Abuelita's front porch.
"Okay Mabel," Dipper said. "Stan's out of ideas and we're about to be homeless. We've gotta figure out a way to get the deed to the Shack back from Gideon."
"Alright!" Mabel said with a fist pump. "We'll storm over there, beat up his guards, and rip the deed from Gideon's chubby, baby-soft hands!"
Dipper swatted his sister on the back of her head. "Haven't you been paying attention? The last time we took the straightforward approach, Gideon got the deed from us. We have to be smarter this time. Gideon probably knows we can take his two guards, so he's probably got some other tricks up his sleeve. So we need to have our own backup plan. Fortunately for us, we have the ultimate Gravity Falls strategy guide."
Dipper pulled out Journal 3 and handed it to Mabel.
"There has to be something in there we can use," Dipper said.
"Okay," Mabel said as she began leafing through the pages. "Let's see what we've got... Barf fairy?"
"No," Dipper said flatly.
"You sure?" Mabel asked. "It could be helpful.
"No," Dipper repeated with finality.
"Gonna put that one under 'Maybe'..." Mabel said before looking for something else. "Butternut Squash with a Human Face and Emotions?"
"No," Dipper said. "If we want to be able to handle whatever Gideon has waiting for us, we'd need some kind of- Army! That's it!"
"What's it?" Mabel asked.
Dipper took the Journal back, flipping to the page he'd thought of. When he'd shown it to Mabel, she looked at him with a glare.
"You can't be serious," she said flatly.
"Do you have any better ideas on how to get an army?" Dipper asked.
Mabel tried, really tried, to come up with a better option. Unfortunately, she couldn't. And they were pretty desperate...
"Fine," Mabel relented with a sigh. "Let's go see the Gnomes."