__________
" This... can't be real...", were the few words my lips formed without a voice to breathe life into them; words far too quiet for the hearing, unless one was a vampire & in possession of well-nigh otherworldly, exceptional senses.
Then, & really only then...
" It should not be.
And yet, it is as real as you & I. "
My gaze drifted upwards to collide with that of the man before me; a wide-eyed stare drowning in absolute horror & perplexity. He stood in the shadow of the peacefully swaying drapes of the canopy bed, every single breeze that slipped past the smooth velvet fabric erasing his features from my vision for a moment that felt far longer than it truly was & filled me with greatest unease as he appeared to merge with the darkness, long comforted by its presence & viewing it as his loyal companion.
In the end it was pure denial that caused me to shake my head.
" There is no way you heard what I just said... "
Kjetil's face spit forth a sardonic smile.
" Forgive me if I wasn't meant to, Lily, but unfortunately that's exactly what I did. And I could not un-hear it even if I wanted to. "
" It was hardly a whisper... "
" Yet your words rang oh so clear in my ears, my dear... Clear as fragile wind chimes in the sigh of a voiceless breeze, trapped in the grasp of a premature autumnal morning. "
As though he had awakened the ghosts of mother nature another breeze entered the lithoidal walls of the abandoned cave, their impact on the drapes causing them to indulge in a frantic dance that'd banish Kjetil's silhouette from my eyes & leave me staring at an empty spot in the midst of a sea of blackness. One of the flames was choked to death by the wind, feeding the ever-growing shadow on its way to my bed.
A low sinister chuckle tumbled from the walls, vibrating in the air like a thunder in the making & freezing itself into my ears until every single hair in the back of my neck stood upright.
" It's a shame you can not see your own face right now...
Such shock, such horror. I've only ever seen so much emotion in the tear-stained reddened eyes of my little brother, back when I told him that Santa Claus would no longer bring him presents.
Not because my brother hasn't always been a good boy, no... But because he died in a horrible, horrible accident the day before Christmas Eve.
Poor dumb little kids like him are easily devastated by such news... "
Kjetil's voice hung in the air like an airborne toxin, crawling into every corner & flooding the entire cave with syllables that consisted of nothing but pure spite & venom.
" Certainly, I could have settled for the truth instead & told him that Santa Claus was none other than our beloved father who happened to drive off a bridge that fateful night, a little too eager to get his costume just so he could surprise his favourite child, like every cursed year... However that would have brought death upon that kid's precious illusion, & I respected my little brother way too much to do a thing so unethical.
Back then I still had a heart, Lily... Not a big one, as you might soon come to discover, but a heart nonetheless. "
" Why are you here, Kjetil..? How are you here?!? "
" Huh. That might be the coldest & least welcoming way to express how much joy our beautiful reunion brings you...", he replied with little to no interest in my aching desire for answers, his voice now ringing so close to my right ear that I jumped in my safe little spot on the bed, eyes injected with unapologetic horror glued to the shadows as they continued to creep in on me, threatening to crush me. Where Kjetil had gone in the meantime was beyond my knowledge.
" But then again... I can not blame you for your resentment. I did you wrong. So, so very wrong...
As wrong as a human being can possibly do one of his own. "
The air trembled in my windpipe.
" I asked...Why are you here?! "
Another deep, throaty chuckle wove through the fabric of darkness, entering both my ears to reverberate inside my skull where it called upon the ghosts of my past: their voices fierce enough to pull them from the arms of a deep slumber & drag them back up to the surface for me to see. For me to feel.
To relive.
" Because David - the mastermind behind all this - thought it'd be only fair to, & I shall quote him word for word here, 'tell our innocent precious Lilyora the truth before somebody else in our midst should eventually feel tempted to do so' ~ "
" ... that doesn't explain anything, nor does it answer my question. At all! "
The blanket firmly wrapped around my torso I skittered across the bed, both eyes drifting around the cave relentlessly in a desperate attempt to make out Kjetil's whereabouts & perhaps spot Dwayne or one of the others while doing so, but the sobering realization that I was my very own ally in this surreal nightmare struck me soon enough. Kjetil's laugh - a sound once adored by me, now despised with a fierceness that felt way too compelling for my caring heart - remained all there was to find in this maze of nagging questions.
" I gotta say... This is quite a cozy place. No wonder David aches to keep it.
Mine dwell far beneath the ground, in chambers of putrid soil where no wind ever blows.
The ugly sacrifices we have to make to hide our soulless shells from the judgmental eyes of the world... "
" What do you mean, yours? ", I asked, turning to face the water fountain from where his voice had reached out to me, eye to eye with the blinding darkness.
" You know, Lily. "
" You're mistaken. I know nothing. "
" Now, now. That is only what your head is telling you. But what does your little heart say? "
Like a thunderstorm circling the landscapes Kjetil's voice began to wander, from one corner of the cave to the other, only briefly pausing to hover right above my head like an ominous ghostly presence, accompanied by a beguiling smell that urged me to search my memory for one particular event...
" It's... warning me..."
" I'm sure it does. Given how our last encounter went ~ "
His voice then drifted away, in the direction of the elevator shaft where the boys would usually sleep, my fear-ridden eyes always on its tail.
" Such a naughty guest I was, wasn't I? "
" Guest..? "
" Ah, you're right, that's not the most accurate word for it.
What I meant to say was... intruder. "
" In-", were the only two letters I managed to squeeze out of my throat before the bitter realization that my fears had been thoroughly justified wrapped itself around my neck like a set of cold bony fingers, consumed by the desire to choke the final remnants of courage from my body & almost vengeful in its ambition, unforgiving. A whine ached to slip past my lips but chose to linger just above the tip of my tongue where it transformed into a voiceless sigh, seconds away from being crushed to death under the weight of my trembling breath.
And all of a sudden, I felt more vulnerable than ever before, from head to toe exposed to harm of any kind like an open wound that had just been cut into existence & was only waiting, if not begging to become infected...
" ...it was you. You, Kjetil... were that stranger in my house! The night when we were under attack & those... feral vampires tried to break in... When they lured Marko away from the rest of the group & forced them apart... just so I would be... "
"" ~ alone, vulnerable. At my very mercy. Like you're being right now, Lily. Yes... That is the true story. And the truth is what you wanted, no? "
" But... I wasn't alone... "
" As good as, " he purred from behind the curtain of darkness, " since your friend Michael couldn't have done anything to save you anyway, so he was no threat in my eyes. "
" No. David saved me. He was there when - "
" - when I entered through the open window in the living room? A window that should have never been open in the first place since you closed every single window hours before nightfall to ensure that my brothers would be denied access to the sanctities of your little house? "
His voice, ever traveling, crept across the ceiling towards the main entrance of the cave, my eyes constantly following its sinister sound despite their current inability to make out any kind of movement in the shadows.
" Yes. He... he didn't go with Dwayne & the others... "
" Which is strange, given his status as their leader, wouldn't you agree? Feel free to correct me if I'm on the wrong path here, but when he didn't join his brothers to hunt down mine & chose to remain by your side instead, weren't you too a little... alarmed? Perhaps deep down inside, subconsciously. Was it not a rather troubling realization that he would abandon his loyal friends during what could have very well been a suicide mission, his only motivation being the safety of a mortal woman who questioned his every move as well as his moral compass to the point where she never wanted him around? "
I sat there in pondering silence, watching as the wall made of perplexity & illusion that had prevented me from seeing clearly for entire weeks began to crumble before my inner eye; slowly & brick after brick, piece by piece. Dust settled in my lungs, with every breath I dragged through my nostrils I felt like I was inhaling fine pieces of glass. Each word Kjetil released into the world was a violent blow to pits of my stomach, the next delivered with even greater force than the last, resulting in an overwhelming sensation of nausea that should have caused me to throw up right here, right now, if it hadn't been for the clutches of shock keeping such a firm hand around my throat.
If all of this was nothing but a bad dream - this was the best possible moment to wake up from it.
" No... "
" Yes, my dear. Yes.
It was none other than David himself who made my visit even possible. That, among a few other things. But we shall take a more analyzing look at that in a minute ~ "
" I don't believe it. I just don't. I don't... "
" Whether you believe it or not is irrelevant. The facts are as follows: David reached out to me & told me about your whereabouts. Told me about this beguiling, precious scent of yours... & what extraordinary blood is dancing through your veins. Apparently it is capable of creating a mental connection between you & whoever is lucky enough to get a taste of it. Moreover ~ "
for a brief moment his voice faded into silence, leaving me there in total darkness with my rattling breath as the only noise in this otherwise lifeless space,
" ~ it allows that person to dive deep enough into the victim's mind to control its thoughts. And at times, even its actions.
I don't need to tell you that such side effects are rather unusual for a common mortal, Lily. "
" When did you become a vampire..? ", I uttered with a voice so fragile, each word barely managing the climb over my trembling lips.
At last my tired eyes spotted the faint outlines of a tall, slender human figure inches away from my bedside, shedding the cloak of darkness the same way a snake shed its skin as he approached the only area of the cave that was still drenched in light. Mouth agape, both corners slowly crawling up his pale cheeks to form a smile of malicious content. Drawn back lips revealed two ivory fangs sprouting from his upper jaw, somewhat smaller than those of Dwayne & the others yet certainly no less intimidating. And as the smile etched onto his lips continued to grow, so did the smile in his vacant, emerald eyes; eyes that would not dare drift away from mine for even a second, obsessed with the various nuances of terror on my face.
" When life forced me to. "
" What does that mean..? "
Kjetil's gaze lowered itself onto the scar on my right shoulder where once my beloved Dwayne had drawn the blood from a self-inflicted wound; the consequence of a decision that could've changed my entire life forever had things taken a different course that night.
" After my fathers 'accident'. "
Visibly shuddering under his eyes I drew a deep breath that'd cause my chest to expand with a tremor that took over my entire voice.
" But... that was shortly after you left me.. "
" Only a few weeks after our ways parted, yes...
You should know that seeing you so devastated & broken was many things... but certainly not what I wanted.
I'm aware of all my wrongdoings, the pain my actions & I brought upon you, & that I hurt you so deeply, you chose to abandon everything that was dear to you only to get far out of my reach. For that, Lily, I apologize. Sincerely, truthfully.
I'm sorry... ~ ", he spoke with a voice faint as a whisper whilst sliding an open palm under my chin, feeling my skin with his own with subtle reluctance before he gently lifted my head so I wouldn't give in to the desire to look away.
" I don't care for your guilt, Kjetil, " I replied in a calm yet fierce manner, each of my words cutting the air like a honey-coated dagger, " & the last thing I want is an apology from you.
What I want are answers! "
The concerned, almost affectionate expression on his handsome face morphed into a smirk of mischief faster than my eyes could have ever acknowledged.
" And you shall have them all, my dearest. Every single answer your little heart desires will be given to you...
... however not from me. "
" ...what? "
I would not receive a response, at least not one that was made of words. As soon as the final letter had escaped his mouth Kjetil's features began to move in an unnatural way, as though his skin was made of wax & in the process of melting after being too close to a fire, each line that defined his face sliding across his skull into a different position & rearranging itself to create an entirely new one without destroying the content smile beneath his now slightly wider nose. Emeralds turned into sapphires as Kjetil's eyes changed their colour the same way leaves changed theirs during autumn, only much faster so I was able to witness it, nearly too distracted to realize that his long ebony hair too was gone; like smoke after snuffing out a candle it vanished into thin air, clouding my vision long enough for the transformation to complete.
Through the tapestry of grey I caught glimpses of gold, sparkling like a million fireflies before merging into one large streak of blonde hair, enveloped by the sweetest odor of patchouli & red wine.
My favourite wine...
A voice whose sound was as familiar as the sound of my own heartbeat, burned deep into my memory since the first day it had found its way to me, shattering the silence like glass; as though struck with terror the flames in the fire bowl threw their bright red bodies into a frantic dance, the feeble light reaching out to caress my counterpart's features with tender fingers.
The smooth palm under my chin was no longer, had been replaced by one that was clad in cold leather, with a thumb tempted to brush over my bottom lip & feel the young gasp that slipped out of my throat upon revealing his true identity.
All around me, reality seemed to collapse in itself.
" D--David... "
Hearing me whisper his name with such timidity widened the smile under his nose even more.
" You have been so admirably canny this whole time, Lily. So observant & keen. Your mind... sharp as a razor, slicing through every illusion it was offered. No matter what I did or said - you were right there, ready to question it vehemently.
Therefore it pains me to realize that you have not figured out my little secret all by yourself.
As satisfying as that expression on your beautiful face is to me... I can not help but feel a tinge of disappointment gnaw at the edges of my heart. "
" This is not real... " I mumbled under a series of rapid breaths that stirred the air, thinking out loud rather than actually speaking to David.
" You can't be real. Kjetil... You can't be him. He can't be you ! He was there long before you even... before you... - "
" Long before me? Oh, Lily... It's like you never paid any attention while reading your beloved vampire books up there in your cozy house in the Norwegian woods.
Just think about this for a moment, Lilyora...
I made my first steps on this sphere of rock & dirt that we call Earth many many ages before you & Kjetil were even born.
At least the Kjetil you know ~ "
The tip of his thumb landed on the surface of my quivering lips for a refined kiss of cool leather & warm flesh, giving my heart yet another reason to slam against my ribcage with so much force that it was impossible to breathe calmly & making me draw in far more of his intoxicating scent than my lungs could handle.
" ~ but the Kjetil I know has been there all along. He has been with me. "
" ...You're lying! Lying! "
My throat, aching dry due to me hyperventilating, caused the words to feel like needles as I pressed them past my vocal chords.
" Kjetil & I, we met - "
" A week before your 22nd birthday, in the backwoods of Tønsberg, when he was looking for a peaceful spot to write another one of his poems, & when you were out gathering blueberries & mushrooms like little innocent Red-Riding Hood, hoping to cross paths with a deer or two, maybe even an entire herd...
It was their season, their time of the year. Your chances of seeing one were oh so high ~ "
" We... we were sitting in the grass, in the shade of a large tree... "
" A Maple tree, with branches wide & strong ~ ", David replied with a sonorous voice, bending down to bring his face closer to mine,
" ~ they gave us shelter from the rain. "
" ... & that's when we saw it... A few feet away, across the river... "
" A stag.
Majestic. Breathtaking, upon its head white antlers, far more beautiful than any crown.
And you, my dear Lily, you were so moved by that encounter, you could not help but cry... ~ "
A leathery finger grazed my cheek, stroking it with a tenderness I only knew from Dwayne's touch, yet I cherished it just as much.
" ~ because you firmly believed that seeing a stag was a sign that significant change would come your way. "
With every word riding his breath the image of David in front of me became less clearer as tears began to distort my vision, his content smile being all I could still see through the glassy veil of denial.
" No one knows that story... No one.
No one but Kjetil & I... "
" You may never understand how deeply flattered I am to hear that you decided to keep it our secret, Lily... Even after all the pain I caused you. "
He fell into silence when the first tear rolled down my face, across his finger & back over my skin before it landed in my lap with a soft, bashful tap.
" Breaking your heart was, & will forever remain, my greatest regret. However it was the only way to get you out of Norway & to move here, to Santa Carla. To us.
To me... "
" That... doesn't make any sense...
How could you be so sure that I would choose Santa Carla & not any other city in the world...?? "
Using his thumb to brush away the next tear that threatened to fall David sent a profound sigh over the edge of his lips.
" You see, that was none of my concern. You were destined to choose the infamous murder capital of the world. I did not for a second worry about you going anywhere else...
And you believe in destiny, don't you?
Between us, there is something far greater at work. A force that controls us, moves us.
A force that binds us like an invisible thread...
And I know that you too have noticed it ~ "
" I..."
But my response remained trapped behind my teeth as a delicate, faintly sparkling pendant appeared in front of my eyes, swinging like a pendulum from between David's gloved fingers.
It took me less than a heartbeat to recognize what I was looking at.
My swan necklace.
" But... I threw it away... Into the ocean! "
" It all happened during a particularly dark & stormy night here in Santa Carla," he said, his chin tilted upwards for a second.
" And no one was up there at the cliff to see you cry...
No one but me. "
" You... were watching me that night..? "
" Me. The stars. The moon. The drifting clouds. The shadows that lurk beneath the cliff.
Sadness is a thing that shines bright in the darkness & attracts the curious, ever watchful eyes of those who feed on it...
Besides, even without our connection & my ability to find you even in the very backyards of the universe - sooner or later this little gift of mine would've brought us back together ~ "
Retracting his cold fingers from my face he gently took my hand & placed the necklace in my trembling palm before he covered it with his own; a meager gesture of comfort as I assumed.
" ~ the things that are ours truly have a strange habit of finding their way back to us when we least expect it, wouldn't you agree, Lily?
That not only applies to objects & charms, but to humans as well. "
" I do not belong to you, David. Nor do you belong to me. "
With a fierceness & determination that felt rather staged due to me still being in a completely fragile state of mind I smacked his hand away & quickly drew back on the bed, like a mouse after staring right into the snake's eye, until my spine kissed a large pile of pillows.
I could feel my lips quiver yet my words rang clear & firm among the walls of the cave.
" We do not belong to each other! "
Another sigh ensued, this one filled with derision rather than dishonest empathy.
" Your reality is fractured, Lily. Much like yourself. But there is no shame in that. Not after what you have been through...
Your pain, your apprehension. Signs that you are still at war with the demons that have taken over your life. "
" I want to wake up from all this... I want to wake up now! "
" This is not a dream to wake up from. It never was ~ "
Straightening his posture David retreated back into the arms of darkness until his silhouette was all my eyes could see.
" ~ even though at times, it may feel that way. "
Once again his voice had changed, had grown deeper & less sonorous with every word that danced over the tip of his tongue. This one held no sense of familiarity, triggered none of my memories, but I could already tell without seeing much of his face that his exterior was no longer that of the David I once knew.
" How is it possible...that you can turn into anyone you want. How?!
I know of shape-shifters, but none of my books ever mentioned vampires with such extraordinary skills! "
" That's because most of your precious books are rooted in fiction & not in the soils of reality, Lily.
Everything you find in there, every story & legend, each so-called 'rule'.... mere manifestations & fantasy landscapes painted in the minds of ignorant mortals, driven by the aching desire to tell stories that deprive children of their sleep.
They know nothing of my kind.
And to answer your other question... No. I can not turn into anyone I want. Unfortunately..., " the silhouette hummed whilst lifting a hand to run his slender fingers through an oddly long strand of hair that had not been there a minute ago, the weak nod that followed giving me reason to believe that the next big revelation was right within my reach.
" Only into those who have died by my hands. "
And back into the light he strode, with movements graceful & shadow-like, his own excitement burning a conspicuous glow into every inch of his new face; a face emanating from the well of one of my youngest memories.
" You... you were at the Emersons house yesterday afternoon...?! When Marko & I were there?? "
An affirmative smile was flashed my way by a particular young paramedic with alluring emerald eyes & long blond hair which, unlike last time I saw it, was no longer trapped in a ponytail but instead fell down his shoulders & arms like a waterfall.
" Right, the Emersons...
They are a lovely little family, aren't they? I can see why you hold them so dear..."
" What were you doing up there?? Were you stalking us?! And why were you pretending to be a parame- "
but I was cut off by a horrifying thought hitting me out of nowhere, vehement enough to make my temples screech in agony, & for a moment the world before my hazed eyes seemed to be tipping over, the blood in my veins suddenly pulsating so hard that my ears started ringing.
" ... what did you do to Michael?!? "
" Oh? What makes you think that I would lay a finger on your friend? "
" Stop with those rhetorical questions! No... I have no idea why you would do something so despicable & hurt someone that has in no way been involved in any of this, but I know... I just know, a person like you would come up with the most pathetic excuses to justify harming him if you really wanted to! "
The tall blonde chuckled mockingly.
" Sure, sure...
If only he was not an important piece of the puzzle.
But you of all people had to drag him into this & turn him into such. "
I felt a stabbing sensation in the pits of my core.
" ... me?? To hell with you, David... I tried to keep him out of all this! "
" Yet his feelings for you made him ignore all those warnings & do the perhaps dumbest thing possible... ", slowly but steadily his deep, throaty voice switched places with that distinctive velvet one of David as the vampire shook off the paramedic's exterior, his features once again back in alignment with his normal bone structure,
" ... which was taking the role as your protector. "
Hearing David speak openly about Michael's romantic feelings towards me - feelings of whose existence I had been completely unaware of up to this point - sparked a little more than just a handful of guilt.
" What...what does that mean? What did he do?! "
" What do you think? Your brave new friend ran into mine on his way back home, just as they prepared to retreat into the underground for the day.
There, he watched them transform... "
" Into ravens. Like you... "
" ... I see, at least that you figured out. "
" There were feathers everywhere! In my house, in the pits behind the hills. In the woods where we found Michael's body. Marko identified their scent & knew immediately what kind of breed they belonged to...
And Dwayne... he even killed some of them before they could get in the cave!
You underestimated your own brothers, David! "
" I didn't underestimate anyone, Lily. I simply did not care whether or not Dwayne or one of the others would find out about their shape-shifting abilities.
My focus remained on ensuring that neither of them would suspect me behind all this, let alone draw any connections.
And that is exactly why Michael had to be silenced ~ "
" 'Silenced'? "
At this stage of our conversation my heartbeat was rumbling like a thunder behind my ribs.
" Listen to me, David... If you brought ANY harm to him or even his family... I swear, I will kill you with my own hands, no matter what it takes! "
Under his arching eyebrows an expression of surprise & mild rapture, if not concealed excitement, started spreading across David's face.
" Well, if that isn't an oddly pleasant change of pace... The lily is revealing her thorns at last.
Sadly, your rage is misplaced. No one had to die yet, as everything went according to plan. So far...
No, my dear. I did not harm Michael... And certainly not in the way you might think. However, he was unfortunate enough to witness something that was not meant for his mortal eyes & could have become a potentially huge threat to our plan... My plan.
On top of it all their attempt to capture him that morning faced a series of rather challenging events, the most troubling being their encounter with a wolf-like creature that appeared out of nowhere, ready to fight to death like a rabid beast... Not only did it kill several of mine, it also dragged Michael deep into the woods, out of our sight.
The rising sun would not allow for the hunt to continue... "
" That wolf...", I mumbled, the scenes of my own encounter with that peculiar animal replaying before my inner eye one after the other,
" ... it must have been the same wolf that came to Michael's house that morning, knowing we would be there looking for him.
So it... it never meant to scare us...
It meant to help us find him! "
" Whoever, whatever that creature may be, I will be sure to uncover soon enough.
One problem at a time ~ ", he whispered, in his voice a sense of calm that rang like a threat in my ears, my new-found courage from my previous rush of adrenaline in the process of dissolving whilst the realization that I was sitting there like a lamb about to be ripped to pieces by the big bad wolf settled in, almost peacefully.
David was right. He had been right all along. I was, in fact, at war with my inner demons. And not just my demons. I was at war with myself as well. With my feelings, with my morals & inner strength. With my desires, my dreams. My wants & needs. My love.
My loyalty.
I knew that, far beneath all those layers of hate, contempt & anger that served as my protective shield, there existed a profound & intense admiration for this seemingly heartless, thoroughly despicable man before me, despite all my attempts to choke it to death over & over again. If anything it had only gotten stronger, its resilience strengthened by my own resistance, like it challenged me to drop to my knees & finally accept the way things were.
That, the more energy I put into hating David with my very being, the more I fell for him on a visceral, for me entirely intangible level, & it weakened my heart, poisoned my soul.
I felt like a planet orbiting a host star whose existence depended on that star's light & warmth, the wish for freedom always right before its eyes, along with the awareness that drifting out of orbit would inevitably lead to a slow, painful death of all forms of life.
It was an obsession, wreathed in the garments of affection to hide its true identity & spare me the bitter truth.
The truth that I had long fallen in love with David...
" Just tell me... If Michael is still alive, how did you silence him..? "
Without making any sudden movements, like he did not want to startle me & feed my fear any more than he already had, David let himself down on the bed right in front of me, his smile fading until all that was left was a purely vacuous expression.
" Let's just say that...," he began in a hushed tone, "... he is not going to wake up anytime soon. "
" Why?! What did you d--- "
" Ssssht ~ "
He raised one finger up to his lips, silently eyeing me over the peak of leather like a predator for several seconds before the same finger was lifted above his mullet where it would aimlessly drift through the air until, as though he had cast a silent spell, all the flames in the fire bowls returned to life again, generously illuminating even the smallest corner of the cave.
" His wellbeing, his life - it is in your hands now. "
" David, please... I'm begging you... Keep him out of this. Leave him & his family in peace! "
" I fear I can not do you that favour, Lily.
Michael. His little brother Sam. Their sweet mother Lucy. Their crazy old grandfather... Every single one of them is already knee-deep in the morass that is our fight, sinking deeper with each second you waste defying me. "
Fingers wrapped in cold ebony leather extended towards me as David offered me his hand; his palm wide open, fingers aching to touch mine, & I quickly realized that the gesture was far more than just a simple invitation...
It was a gesture dripping with superiority & bottomless arrogance; a sign that - in his very own fantasy - he had already won the fight, for in his heart David knew that I would do any deed necessary to protect Michael & his family.
He knew I would give in now.
Surrender.
" Don't fight me, Lilyora...
This is a battle you can not win because you are not meant to win it. You were never meant to fight it to begin with... "
" David. You can not ask that of me..."
" I'm not asking anything of you...
I'm merely reminding you of your choices, & the consequences that will follow. "
Like someone had suddenly turned a switch, David's mask of visible content slid off his face & vanished, revealing a stoic & dead serious mien underneath.
" In all my decades spent on Earth, I have tasted many a glass of fine blood. Have smelled many an intoxicating scent, & have touched many a desirable skin. But not once would the desire to taste, smell, or touch either a second or even a third time overcome me. Not once would my heart yearn for something that it could embrace & drown in passion, in lust. In love.
Not once would my undead soul ache for the compassion & empathy of another, dream of a hand that'd take mine & wander the darkened streets at night by my side, under the ever watchful eyes of an envious sky...
... until you started visiting my dreams.
Until your voice, the sound of your heartbeat, your scent, traveled the miles between us to burn itself into the flesh of my mind & teach me the true meaning of want.
Until my desires would take over me & force me to face those miles without any second thoughts, my wish to be close to you as my only companion.
And when I finally found you... When I had my clouded eyes fall upon you in the fair light of a young midnight sun, your strained heart beating to the rhythm of hope... That's when I knew, with every existing fiber of my being, what it was I truly wanted.
What I had been looking for in all those years without even being aware of it... "
" ... a normal life...", I whispered under the weight of my breath.
" A human life. "
" With you by my side, Lily. "
The vampire's azure eyes pierced mine like spears, eyes that were suddenly overflowing with empathy & far more humanity than I had ever found in the eyes of another human being, & what I thought was only an illusion created by the dancing flames & my own distorted sense of reality turned out to be an actual tear, climbing over the brim of David's bottom lid to face the abyss before slowly running down his cheek.
The hand he offered me started trembling like a leaf in the wind, as did my own which was already hovering midair inches above my chest, no longer under the influence of the demons that inhabited my mind & visibly yearning for David's fingers to intertwine with mine.
Now it was but an ounce of reason that kept me restrained & from giving in.
" Tell me, David...", I breathed out, each of my words wreathed in the fabric of sorrow,
" how am I supposed to trust you after everything you've done? How am I supposed to take your hand... The same hand that once intended to lead me astray & cause me pain?
How are we supposed to look in the same direction, if the reality we see continues to be distorted by your lies & dishonesty?
By your blind, destructive hate?
How can I be sure that your words are sincere... & come from the very same heart which desires mine, rather than the one that once wished to see me fall? "
" I never wished to see you fall, Lily, " he whispered so quietly, solely the deafening silence reigning the abandoned vampire cave allowed his words to find their way to me.
" But seeing you turn away from me, in a direction that was never meant for you... for us... burdened me with fear beyond belief.
And fear makes people do the worst of all things.
It breaks their spirits, poisons their hearts, & turns them into monsters. "
" You have long become that monster, David... "
His following nod was hardly visible.
" Yes, Lily. You are right.
I am a monster, & I have no right to deny it.
I have murdered people on my path to you, & not only to quench my tedious thirst for blood. No... I murdered them, remorselessly, to build a bridge between us.
That young man, who had just moved to Tønsberg together with his father & little brother, who once wore Kjetil's face... The very same face you would fall in love with shortly after...
The man at the hospital, who had just prepared everything for that particular emergency call from the Emerson's house on top of the hill, unaware that his first day at his new workplace would also be his last...
I took their lives, took their names & put on their skin... to remove the obstacles between us one by one. To gain the ability to face the sun, & earn enough of your trust to pull the most significant strings in your life.
Believe me - it was not the picture of you & Dwayne growing into lovers that would haunt me & drive me insane... but the realization that with each passing day, you would drift further away from me.
That you would eventually forget who it is your heart truly desires ~ "
" Then... That accident your father had... That man who was actually Kjetil's father... was not a real accident either, was it?? "
There came a brief pause before he shook his head.
" No. It was not... which is a tragedy to admit.
The only reason I ever called it an accident was because his death was none of my intentions, but an event of pure misfortune. "
" What does that mean..? How did he die? "
" He found himself confronted with the truth that his son was no longer the same son he had moved to Tønsberg with. "
" You told him..?? "
David chuckled.
" If only it could've been so simple...
No, Lily.
He caught me in the midst of my transformation, shortly after I returned from a midnight hunt, & as madness promised to take hold of him & had him inhale gallons of liquor before he hit the road, I decided that it would be wiser to spare him a lifetime filled with even more agony.
The rest of that poor man's story lies at the bottom of Tønsbergfjorden... "
It had grown quiet inside the cave & an unsettling tension hang in the air, one that felt like it was draining me of all my energy & made me incredibly sleepy, at a pace that made it hard to focus on David's words no less.
" ... & your... No. Kjetil's little brother?? You didn't... kill him too, or did you..? "
" Lily...
I would never harm a child. "
Almost hurt by my presumption David's hand floated closer, its mere existence more & more inviting with each passing second.
" I'm capable of doing many cruel things, but killing what could potentially grow to be the hope for a better future is not, & has never been, one of them.
I took him with me upon returning to Santa Carla. Now he's one of mine... & as far as I know, you two have already crossed paths. "
Struggling to find a way out of the labyrinth of fog in my head I missed the first half of his response in its entirety, & not even the vampire's tender smile would receive much of my attention until it lingered at a hand's breadth distance from me; a smile whose sweetness I could both smell & taste as I took in a dose of air with a deep, shuddering breath.
" ... what..? I... don't recall... "
" It matters not, Lily, " he spoke softly as he took my chin in between his thumb & index finger, tilting my head upwards with a swift, careful motion of his wrist,
" You couldn't have recognized him, for he too had to shed his old skin & identity in order to start a new life.
Do not worry though. You will get to see little Laddie again when the time is right... "
" David... You & I... "
" You once loved me, Lily. You once cherished me so much that you wanted to marry me.
You once found peace & comfort in my presence... and I know that you can do it again.
If you bless me with a second chance.
Allow me to make things right again. To bury the vile excrescences I dug up in my blind desire under a new layer of soil so that new, beautiful things can grow from it ~ "
His ice-kissed breath crawled over my slowly parting lips like a serpent's tongue, tasting me, tempting me, shattering the pillars of my fragile self-restraint like dry bones; his other arm became the snake's body that'd wrap itself around me & pull me close, into an embrace that reminded me of but one thing...
Home.
" Bless us with a second chance... "
Then, everything went dark & silent, the swan pendant slipped through my fingers like sand when I raised my hand to place it on David's cheek & granted him to erase the last few inches that kept us separated, & not even for a second did he hesitate; his lips crashed into mine with breathtaking madness, eager to savour me like prey, however in a way that I would remember for a lifetime...
This moment, familiar. The taste. The scent. The feeling. The sensations. The emotions resurfacing.
Fragments of a past once sent far away, now returning to me for an embrace that would soothe my aching soul & become the ointment for the gaping wounds in my heart.
Home at last.
Such were my hopes...
____________
Behold! dear readers - the next stunning The Lost Boys fanfiction is only one click/link away 🖤
This way, please -->
https://www.wattpad.com/story/291948907
That's it for now, everyone 🌹 Blessings to every single one of you for all your loyalty & constant support! Obviously the story isn't over yet, but I thought this was the perfect scene to end a book that is now officially 42 chapters long. A little change of scenery (in other words a new book with a new fancy cover) will definitely help me clear my head & move along with the story!
Once the new book is up I'm going to add an extra chapter to this story with a small reminder + a link, so those of you who don't follow me can not miss updates of any kind 🖤
I will see you soon in book no. 2, "The Lost Boys - & The One Who Found Them: Sleepwalkers" 🕊️
- Lily