Author's Note siebenundsechzig:
Pervy Pandas! I love how you are all so perverted... just like mama (aka mE)
I want to marry all of you... but as for those of you who felt it necessary to write things like "ew" and "gross" and "every time u write a sex scene, an angel loses his wings"... well... I kinda feel like u need a swift kick to the vagina bc it's obviously broken. So, if u indeed need me to kick u in the vagina, please don't hesitate to ask <3 --- (not gonna lie tho, I laughed a lot at the last comment)
This chapter has a rather somber mood toward the end... sorry bout that.... but life can't always be rainbow farts and butterfly toots, now can it?
Dedicated to @carebearguimet for actually taking the time to always go out of her way to chit chat... she's like my only friend on twitter.
Check out the media section:
the picture is totally chialleR... am I right or am I riiight?
& take a second to watch the trailer made by @onedirectioninvasion :) thanks girl!
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Chapter 6: A Crooked Cop and A Man with No Soul
|| n i a l l ||
Channing was still squirming as I carried her over my shoulder and she let out a little shriek as I tossed her gently onto the bed. Although I was slightly aggravated that Harry had gotten to kiss her, I wasn't actually upset about the situation, but it was sort of fun to play it off like I was. I stood there for a moment, watching her as she lay on her back, her hair sprawled all over the duvet, and her chest rising and falling in a rhythm that was consistent with her heartbeat. It was a beautiful sight.
I jumped onto the bed, crawling on top of her as I hovered my lips directly over hers, "So... who was tha bette' kisser?" I asked slowly, narrowing my eyes at her as I tried to hide my smirk.
It was obvious we were playing a game because she sighed dramatically as she looked away from me, "You'll be upset if I tell you the truth though..." she trailed off, biting her lip seductively.
I lowered my face down so that my lips were touching her ear, "Se' it," I demanded. I looked down at her face that was shrouded by the blackness of the room. I hadn't turned the light on so we were in the dark aside from some of the moonlight that was spilling in through the window. The subtle shine of the moon reflected off of her eyes and teeth giving her a beautiful, almost angelic glow. She shivered slightly as I brushed my lips against her ear once more.
"Do ye' need a reminder?" I asked playfully as my fingers snuck under her tee shirt and caressed her stomach tenderly.
She didn't respond, instead she just moaned lightly, and I took that as my queue to capture her in a kiss. However, she thought it'd be funny to mess with me and not kiss me back. Okay, if she wants to play, then let's play.
As soon as I realized she wasn't responding with her lips, I quickly trailed my own mouth down her jawline, over her throat and across her chest. She was still wearing her tee shirt so I slowly used my fingers to push the shirt further up her stomach. I kissed her belly button before I trailed my hands up, reaching under her shirt to send her shivers as I ran my hands gently over her bra. What can I say, a week away from her and I was about to explode with sexual frustration.
Although I could tell she was attempting to act like my roaming hands weren't affecting her, I noticed her breath hitch in her throat as I traced my fingertips against her collar bone under her shirt. I reached down to the button on her jeans, quickly flicking it open as I slowly helped her slip one leg out at a time. I could feel her eyes on me as I looked at her bare thighs, and without a moment of hesitation, I brought my lips to the somewhat fading gnashes that interrupted her smooth skin.
I kissed the skin that she was so painfully ashamed of, gently stroking her thighs. I was proud of her, I could tell that she hadn't harmed herself since that last time we were together in the bathroom. It was a tremendous relief, and as I was wandering off into my own thoughts I subtly felt her hand resting against the back of my neck. I looked back towards her, our eyes meeting in a silent understanding followed quickly by our lips.
I stripped her slowly, removing every article of clothing, afterwards I followed suit and stripped completely before slipping under the covers, cuddling up to her. My mouth crept along her jawline, making my way back up to her soft lips, kissing her gently. I just wanted her in my arms, so I pulled her against me, holding her tight as I continued to kiss her neck.
I ran my fingers through her hair, it was soft and lovely as my hands traveled back to the nape of her neck, attempting to pull her closer. As I brushed the back of her neck, she winced and immediately pulled away from me. I furrowed my brows in confusion of her actions, "Channing... what is it?" I asked, pulling her against me once more, this time by her shoulders. She gave me a guilty look as her eyes looked away from me and she rubbed the back of her head, "Niall... I have to tell you something," she said sullenly, her eyes slowly traveling back up to meet mine.
"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling worried over her sudden change in demeanor.
I lay there in shock as she spilled her story of what happened the other night into my waiting ears. At first I was a bit upset that she'd tried to cover the ordeal up, but all and all, my anger was geared toward Tate, not her whatsoever. However, she seemed so worried about my reaction, and I wasn't sure why... she couldn't think that I would serioulys be angry with her over that, could she?
After she finished her explanation, I cupped her cheek as I spoke softly, "Please jus' tell meh next time... right when it happens... do yeh promise?" I asked, keeping eye contact with her.
She nodded and hugged me tightly against her, the fact that I could feel every groove and dip of her body was making my head spin with desire. I turned her away from me so that I could spoon her from behind, and took a look at the back of her neck. It didn't look that bad, but it was swollen and bruised so I could see what it had hurt when the fans pulled her hair earlier. I kissed the tender spot gently, she tensed up at first but relaxed as I merely let my lips rest against the bruising skin.
After a few moments, she turned to face me, tracing her fingers along my chest and then let her fingertips dance gently across my ribs, causing me to shiver. She giggled at my response and I growled softly as I nipped at her shoulder. I sighed in contentment as she buried her face in my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist; we lay there in a comfortable silence, just soaking up the moment, because we both knew that by tomorrow she'd have to leave again.
"What's on yer mind, love?" I asked her gently once I noticed she'd been staring at the same spot on the ceiling for the past ten minutes. She turned her head, locking her eyes with me as she rolled the rest of her body over, facing me once more. She brought up her hand, softly brushing my hair off of my forehead before letting her hand slide down my face, resting gently against my cheek.
"I'm just so happy, Niall... I've never been this happy," she whispered as her eyelashes fluttered closed. I was about to speak but she held her finger to my lips, keeping me silent as she continued, "When I look at you... I see this perfect person. Perfect face, perfect voice, perfect hair, perfect teeth... perfect skin..." she mumbled as she took hold of my hand and traced her finger tips up and down the unmarked skin of my forearm. She was quiet for a moment before kissing my clear wrist, then hugging my arm tightly to her chest. My eyes softened as I studied her tormented face, she was so beautiful... I took it upon myself to remove her bracelets from her wrists as she stared at me in silence.
"... I see this perfect person... and then there's me. This weird, crazy girl... with all these problems," she said softly motioning toward her wrists, "and I don't understand how you chose me, Niall... I really don't," she paused for a moment, as I drew my face closer to hers, "but please... just promise me that you'll stay. No matter what... promise me you won't leave," she whispered against my lips.
I stared back at her in amazement and wonder, finding it completely unnecessary to speak, I merely brought my hand to her cheek, turning her head upwards to meet my lips... and then I kissed her... really kissed her. It wasn't a lustful or passion driven kiss, it was a promise. I just hoped that she understood that in that kiss, I was signing my life away.
After a few seconds, I pulled away slightly, resting my forehead against hers, "Olive... I'll be here as long as you'll 'ave me," I assured her, stroking her cheek lightly with my thumb. The longing I felt for her was causing my head to spin, and as my lips collided with hers again and again, I couldn't contain my wandering hands from exploring her body.
As the seconds ticked by, we explored one another thoroughly with our hands as well as our lips. The night stretched on, and as we finished making love for the second time, I looked down at her in awe, watching intently as her face contorted beautifully to match the violent trembling of her body as she fell apart beneath me. Her cheeks were flushed, her forehead glistening; I smoothed her hair back so that it was out of her eyes as she did the same for me. I held my self up on top of her, and we were still joined together as I peppered kisses all along her face and neck; her skin was salty and warm under my lips, and I couldn't describe her taste. To be honest, she just tasted beautiful.
We fell asleep together, tangled under the sheets, our legs intertwined and her head resting on my chest while my hands gripped her hips gently. Channing was mine... all mine. Although I felt like a possessive pig, I rubbed my finger over the bruising love bite I'd left against the back of her neck. Surprisingly it was the first time I'd left my mark and I sort of felt like a savage about claiming her; staking my claim not only on her body, but her heart and mind as well.
However, I couldn't help but smile at the fact that no one else would ever have her like this again; no one else would feel her warm skin against theirs, no one else would taste her lips... and no one else would be close enough to fall asleep to the lullaby of her heartbeat.
|| h a r r y ||
I was lost in the darkness of my mind, trying to dig my way out of dreamland when I felt the warm body beside me start to wiggle around a bit. Jetta's hair was brushing against my cheek so I twitched my nose; I buried my face in the crook of her neck as I spooned her from behind. Although I was just waking up, my brain was instantly snapped back to reality. We'd had a threesome last night... a f*cking threesome. It was so weird to think about, but it had to be the hottest night of my life. Truth be told, I didn't really mind Louis being there, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't love to have Jetta all to myself one of these nights.
My arm was lying across her stomach and I brushed my fingers ever so lightly against her hip. She groaned softly at my touch but I continued to trace my fingers against her skin as I buried my face even deeper into the back of her neck, placing a few light kisses and allowing my lips to just rest on her skin. After a few minutes I brought my hand up about to run my fingertips through her long hair, but froze when I realized my fingers were running through hair that was much too short to be Jetta's. My eyes snapped open and after getting them to focus, I looked down at the beautiful girl lying next to me-- and my mouth immediately fell open in shock.
It was Lou. I was f*cking spooning Louis. Awe what the hell is this shit? Oh my God, I was just kissing his neck. Oh God damn it.
"What the hell?" I exclaimed loudly, the sight of him gave me such a start I immediately pushed myself away, not taking into account that I was already lying on the very edge of the bed. I landed on the hotel floor with a loud thud, the plush carpet doing very little to cushion my fall.
Louis' head peeked over the edge of the bed and he gave me a cheeky grin, "My, my Hazza... someone is surely affectionate in the morning," he teased as he reached down to pinch my cheek. I slapped his hand away as I held back my grin and tried to look angry, "How the bloody hell did I end up spooning you?" I asked with an awkward laugh, my grin slipping out despite my protests.
At this point, Jetta had woken from the commotion and had crawled over from her side of the bed, peering down at me with sleepy eyes as I sat on the floor in embarrassment, "Uh... morning Jet," I mumbled as my cheeks warmed slightly.
After releasing a yawn and rolling onto her back, she spoke up, "You know what... I'm not sure which is worse..." she trailed off as Louis propped himself up on his elbow to face her and I continued sitting on the floor in silence.
She turned her head to face us, her long hair cascading over the edge of the bed in waves as she continued, "The fact that I woke up with two boys... or the fact that I didn't wake up inbetween them," she said with a wink, breaking out into a fit of laughter.
Louis snorted as my face grew redder since I, after all, had been the one making all of the moves on him. I sighed in exasperation, "No but seriously, Lou... how did you end up in the middle?" I questioned, because the last thing I remember before falling asleep last night was Jetta lying in my arms as we faced each other and Louis spooned her from behind. Good God, threesomes are complicated, remind me to never do this again.
The atmosphere was light as we poked fun at one another for a bit longer before Louis excused himself to go back to his own room, since we were in my room after all. Jetta rolled back into the middle of the matress burying herself under the blankets as I stood there, watching her. It was already after 1pm, and we were just now dragging ourselves our of bed... we really knew how to seize the day!
"Come on Jetta! Wakey wakey!" I sang in her ear as I hovered over her. I began poking her in the cheek, trying to annoy her out of bed. I was blindsided as she swiftly picked up a pillow and smashed me in the face, "Go away, I'm tired and it's wintah," she mumbled in a British accent.
How dare she mock me?
I couldn't help it though, I started laughing, "You can't use my own lines against me," I insisted as I poked her some more. After a few more minutes of bothering her with no success of prying her lazy arse out of bed, I gave up.
I left her there to get a few more minutes of sleep as I made my way to the bathroom, taking another quick shower to wake myself up. After taking my time, entered my room only to see Jetta still completely out of it. She seemed to have been tossing and turning because the blankets that once covered her were now wrapped around her legs and partly falling off the bed.
I just stood there like a creep watching as she slept, smiling at the fact that she was wearing my shirt and my boxers. After a few more minutes of watching her, I finally decided to make her get up; I jumped onto the bed without warning, which caused her to immediately spring up and led to her forehead cracking against my chin. Whoops.
We both groaned in pain as I collapsed next to her, "Damn, you have a hard head," I muttered as I tried to soothe my chin by massaging it with my fingers.
She quickly buried her head under the pillow trying to shut me out once more, but I wasn't having it. I let my fingers sneak under the covers and squeeze her sides, laughing as she began thrashing around in my grasp like a fish out of water. She reached out and grabbed a hold of my nipple though, and twisted it with no mercy, causing me to yelp and push away from her. I could see her body shaking under the covers from her laughter.
"You're evil, what if I did that to you, huh?" I pouted, rubbing my chest since it still stung.
"I'd find that rather kinky Harold, why don't you go for it and see what happens?" she taunted, her voice still muffled from being under the blankets.
I quickly ripped the covers off of her and immediately cupped my hands over her breasts. Although my tee shirt was still on her I could definitely tell she was without a bra, the thought making me smile like a deranged pervert. Her eyes widened as she studied me, "Unhand me you fiend! Don't make me give you a ball-twister," she said menacingly.
I cocked my eyebrow, "Ball-twister?" I asked with a grimace, my hands still firmly holding her breasts.
"Yeah, I can show you if you like?" she asked before quickly springing up; I hurriedly tried to block her attack... and by doing so I accidently bumped her again... in the forehead... with my elbow.
Okay, so I elbowed her in the face and it was a pretty hard blow. Oh well... she had it coming... shouldn't be threatening to twist my balls.
We wrestled around for a few minutes, and she was winning for the most part until I surprised her by grabbing her boobs again, which distracted her enough to allow me to pin her to the bed.
"You're such a dick," she laughed as she freed one of her arms from my grasp and kept her hand pressed to her forehead, slowly looking up to meet my eyes. She looked so pretty in the morning, even though her hair was a mess and she could barely keep her eyes open, she had this glow about her that was absolutely beautiful.
I rolled over and propped myself onto my elbow so that I was leaning over her as I lowered my lips to kiss the reddening spot in the middle of her forehead, "That is probably going to bruise..." I trailed off as I kissed her head gently once more, "I'm sorry," I whispered as I stroked her cheek with my thumb.
Her eyes fluttered closed as I inched my face closer to hers, but I stopped when our lips were about an inch apart, "What are you doing, Harry?" she asked in what almost sounded like a nervous whisper.
I searched her face, waiting for her baby blue eyes to open once more, and as they did I smiled down at her, "Where do we stand?" I asked curiously, tracing my thumb across her bottom lip.
She sighed lightly as she took my hand into hers and brought it back to her lips, kissing it lightly, "I--I don't know... I--I mean what just happened last night... I don't know," she stuttered out in a nervous jumble. Her cheeks flushing slightly at her lack of an answer, but I just continued smiling down at her.
I knew that we weren't going to declare our undying love for one another, but after being so intimidate with her, it just made me like her even more. She was like a drug. I knew that Lou and I weren't making this easier on her, but I couldn't help myself, I lowered my lips until they were gently pressing against hers. She was unresponsive at first so I pulled away, "Harry, I don't want anyone to get hurt," she said sadly, searching my eyes for reassurance.
"Don't worry about that, I just want to taste you once more," I begged my lips barely touching hers. Her eyes softened as she studied my face, "I can't promise to be yours, Harry," she mumbled so quietly, I had to strain to hear her.
"I can't promise that I'll ever stop trying," I replied, my lips still hovering dangerously close to hers.
We stared at each other in an intense silence for a few seconds before she spoke once more, "Kiss me," she whispered, as I eagerly attached my lips to hers. Her soft lips molded perfectly to mine, and I kissed her with every emotion I'd been feeling that morning. It was perfect. It wasn't like our usual passionate, needy kisses. This one was sweet and gentle, and gave me a glimpse into who she really was: a lost girl who craved love, but didn't know how to give her heart to another. Her body she didn't have a problem with... but her heart, I could tell that would take so much more work... and I'd be lying if I said she wasn't worth it.
|| z a y n ||
Everyone was seated around the breakfast table in my hotel room, we were all chatting light heartedly as Channing and Perrie stood over by the kitchenette preparing a late breakfast of eggs, bacon and biscuits. I subtly looked over my shoulder, watching the girls interact and smiling as Channing helped Perrie flip the bacon, showing her how to do it so the grease wouldn't pop on her skin.
Perrie wasn't the most skilled cook in the kitchen, but it was cute that she was trying to learn. I turned back around, covering my laugh as she yelled out a few colorful words when she failed and had some grease pop on her arm.
Louis was sitting next to Niall while Liam and Jetta were chatting, both of them perched up on the countertop near Chan and Perrie. Harry was staring blankly at the apple that was sitting on the table in front of him. I nudged him with my elbow, waking him from his trance and gave him a questioning look as he smiled back at me, "What's up with you, mate?" I asked in a hushed tone.
He shook his head, sweeping the hair out of his eyes, "Nothing, just tired and a little hungover from last night," he said smoothly as he glanced up from the apple to meet my eyes. I nodded at him as he went back to staring at the interesting apple that sat on the table.
Shaking my head, I was startled when a pair of thin arms wrapped around my neck from behind me, scaring me half to death. Perrie started giggling, "You're quite a sneaky one, aren't you?" I asked as I pulled her around to sit on my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist and laying my face against her back.
She looked at me over her shoulder, "I'm actually a secret ninja on a mission to kill you... Little Mix is just my cover... shhh," she whispered cheekily before turning around and leaning her back against my chest, nestling her head between my shoulder and chin.
Chan finished with the breakfast and called Niall over to help her bring it all to the table; I guess today was going to be a lazy day, considering it was going on 2pm and most of us were still in our pajamas.
Perrie stayed in my lap, but I shifted her so that she was sitting on one leg so that we could both reach the table. She turned her head, giving me an endearing look before kissing me lightly on the cheek, God, I loved having her here. I wish things could be like this every day... but I know that she'll be leaving tomorrow and we'll go back to our texts, phone calls, and skyping until dawn. It was hard having a long distance relationship, but we'd worked hard for our careers and we both understood each other enough to make the separation work.
We'd had our fair share of cheating scandals, fans were always claiming I had a one night stand with them here, and a one night stand with them there, but that was never the case, and Perrie never doubted me... for that I was thankful... to have that kind of trust. She was amazing and we'd been through a lot together, being as we were both thrust into the life of fame so quickly. We were always there for each other, helping one another when things got too extreme; we slowed things down... and made one another feel normal.
I was pulled out of the ramblings of my inner mind when I felt a warm biscuit hit me in the nose, and to be honest it kind of hurt. I glared across the table to see everyone laughing, except Niall, who was whistling and looking around the room, trying not to meet my eyes. Channing met my gaze though and subtly pointed at Niall but he saw the hand gesture and playfully smacked at her on the shoulder.
"Hey what happened tah team Chialler?" Niall asked with a laugh, "We're 'sposed tah cover fer each other yah hobbknocker," he teased as he ruffled her hair.
She snorted, as her head snapped over to look at him, "Niall! You really need to stop watching iCarly..." she mused as she flicked him on the nose.
We burst out laughing as Niall's cheeks flushed a lovely shade of red, "Hush... don' tell ev'ryone mah guilty pleasure," he mumbled under his breath.
Channing smirked as she grabbed his head and pulled him in to kiss his cheek, "Sorry, your secrets are safe with me, I promise," she assured him softly as Niall rolled his eyes at her.
We all settled down and got down to eating our breakfast/lunch; after a few minutes, I looked on in amusement as I saw Channing and Niall fighting over the last piece of bacon that was sitting in her plate.
"You already ate yours! Tough shit!" she exclaimed as she desperately tried to get the bacon out of Niall's hand, where he was holding it prisoner.
He stuck his tongue out at her and continued with trying to bring the piece of bacon to his mouth as she desperately tried to stop him. However, to no avail, the bacon made it to Niall's lips, but rather than eating it, he simply licked it up and down and then offered it back to Channing. These two were adorable... but ew.
"Here yeh go, love... just testin' it out fer yeh," he said with a grin as he waved it in front of her face.
Channing scrunched her nose up at him and shook her head, "Ew! Niall... you're such a pain in the ass!" he declared as she started laughing.
A few things happened after that: Jetta dropped her fork, Harry started choking on his biscuit, and Louis spit his orange juice out into his plate. I smacked Harry on the back to help with his coughing spell and as he composed himself he shared a look with Jetta and tried to hide a smirk. The three of them all seemed to be sharing a look and laughing over an inside joke, while the rest of us looked around the table in confusion.
"I uh... I have to go to the bathroom," Jetta said with a laugh as she turned red and quickly excused herself, running down the hall to the bathroom.
Niall popped the piece of bacon into his mouth and shrugged his shoulders as he began chewing slowly. He studied our band mates curiously as they continued to act oddly at the table; Harry and Lou were still smirking silently at each other while the rest of us just stared at them. Did we miss something... or?
|| c h a n n i n g || [time jump, when Channing and Jetta get back to STL]
Jetta's Geo Tracker looked lonely as we approached it in the eerily empty parking garage. It was exactly where we'd left it, however at that time the garage had been buzzing with activity.
We slid into our respective seats, not talking much as we seemed lost in our own thoughts. Being as it was after midnight, we were both just anxious to get home and get to sleep. I could tell something was weighing on Jetta's mind, considering this morning she'd been rather quiet. Nothing seemed awkward, she just didn't have much to say like she usually did. I figured if it was something important, then she'd tell me when she was ready... no doubt it had something to do with Louis or Harry or both.
The half hour drive from the airport was pretty uneventful, the traffic was minimal and we rode in comfortable silence. I could feel my eyelids growing heavier by the mile and leaned my forehead against the cool glass of the window, breathing deeply as I let my mind skitter over memories of the last few days. I hated the fact that they were extending their tour by another two weeks; when Niall mentioned it to me last night, I tried hard to keep the look of disappointment off of my face, but I'm sure he could see right through my fake smile. It's okay... I could do this... I could make it two more weeks... I would just have to be very careful.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, I was being ripped from my dreams as I heard the squeal of a wailing siren; I opened my startled eyes and I could see the red and blue flashing lights reflecting within the rearview mirror.
I turned toward Jet, "What the f*ck?" she mumbled under her breath. We didn't seem to be speeding so I could tell she was a little annoyed at the fact she had to pull over. It was getting late and we were way past exhausted.
She reached to the glove compartment in front of my knees, pulling out her insurance card and slipping her license from her wallet. Jet rolled down the window and we waited in anxious silence as the cop sat in his car doing whatever the hell cops do for those first five minutes that they pull you over. Finally, after what felt like 37 years, we heard the gentle crunching of gravel as the the dark silhouette of the police officer approached our car.
"License and insurance, miss?" He asked in a kind tone as Jetta immediately thrust the desired documents into his waiting hands. Even though his voice was friendly, I immediately felt my skin crawling from the familiarity of it.
Why did I know that voice?
I subtly attempted to glance at the officer to give him a once over, but the blanket of the night distorted his features enough to where one could easily assume he lacked the standard eyes, nose and mouth.
I fidgeted uncomfortably as he spoke again, "It's getting late, can I ask what you ladies are doing out at this time of night?" he asked in a tone laced with authority. That voice though... where did I know that voice?
I racked my brain trying to put my finger on it as Jetta answered him, "Oh we just got in from LA, we're on our way home from the airport, actually," she said pausing for a second before continuing, "Can I ask why you pulled us over? I thought I was following the speed limit," she asked politely.
Jet was always so good at handling situations like this; the man returned her license and insurance card, "Just wanted to let you know that your license plate light is out, and you ought to get it fixed," he answered, still sounding friendly.
At that point, he shined his flashlight toward my side of the car so he could get a look at me, and just as he was doing so a car drove by, their headlights bathing him in light for just a few seconds; those few seconds were more than enough for me to piece together where I'd heard that voice before.
Something in my brain was just screaming for me to pay closer attention to the mans features... the closer I looked the more dread I could feel consuming me. I'd seen this man before... those cold black eyes... the scar along his chin...
As I looked at him I felt my heart fall into my stomach and chills envelop my soul as his beady eyes stared at me intently. My resolve crumbled as a sense of surprised recognition sparked in his eyes; the immediate shift I felt in his demeanor from friendly to predator was strong enough to make my breathing falter.
His expression changed from one of shock to lust as a condescending smile traced his lips. I had somehow forgotten how to breathe as his cold eyes drilled into mine; the tension in the air was so palpable you could cut it with a knife. His smirk stole the air from my lungs as he continued staring at me, taunting me, making sure I knew who he was... but did he honestly think I could forget?
I was in a trance, unable to comprehend what was happening. How could he be a police officer? My stomach clenched as I tried to keep the bile from rising in my throat as the memories from the past infiltrated my mind, throwing bombs into all of my recent happy memories, tearing them to shreds and just leaving the haunting, terrifying memories of this man hovering over me in my thoughts.
I squeezed my eyes shut as he nodded, and I clenched my fists tightly as I heard his awful voice once more, "Have a safe night, ladies" he commented in a new tone of dominance, especially emphasizing the word safe.
I refused to look at him again, I let my eyes glue shut even as I heard the crunch of the gravel under his feet once more as he retreated back to his cruiser.
Jet seemed oblivious to my excruciating inner turmoil, and I refused to open my eyes for the rest of the ride home. I was terrified I'd see him again. I wanted to forget that face, I wanted to forget him.
The thing is... no matter how hard you try, no matter how much time has passed, no matter how you try to move on with your life, you cannot forget. Those cold eyes, that sneer, it's burned into your mind, body and soul. In life we may forget a lot if things, but you will never forget the face of a rapist.
|| j e t t a ||
The next morning, Channing and I were just sitting around the kitchen table, silently eating our cereal. As the Fairly Odd Parents played a rerun on the television I kept looking over to see Chan staring blankly at the screen. Ever since we'd gotten pulled over last night, she'd been acting seriously off, like she'd barely uttered a word and I even noticed that she had her rubber band around her wrist and was snapping it harshly last night. The only time she does that is when she's trying so hard not to cut, but I couldn't figure out what had gotten her so upset in the first place.
"Chan?" I asked softly, getting no response from her so I made my voice a little louder, "Channing?" I asked again, startling her and making her drop her spoon into her cereal bowl.
She met my eyes and swallowed loudly, "W-What's up, Jet?" she asked, trying to sound casual, and failing miserably.
"Channing, what's gotten into you? Why do you look so freaked out?" I asked, placing my hand on hers gently.
She was quiet for a moment, as it looked like she was dwelling over in her mind if she should tell me what's bothering her, "If you don't let it out, it's just going to eat away at you," I commented, meeting her eyes once more.
She gulped and took a deep breath, "Jet... last night... you know that officer?" she asked, I could tell she was trembling slightly as her voiced wavered. Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears, and as she closed them two lone tears slipped down her cheeks.
I scooted my chair closer to her, worried about her reaction, "What Channing? What about him?" I asked, already dreading whatever she was going to tell me. If she was crying, then it had to be bad.
"He... that was that man... um... he..." she tried to get the words out but kept getting choked up as she furiously wiped at her eyes. I pulled her into my arms, trying to soothe her gently as I pushed her hair from her face and patted her back gently, "What Chan? He what?" I urged, terrified of her answer.
"He's the one who Jeff... he... r-raped me," she choked out in a whispered cry. I felt the air leave my lungs and my heart stop as those words left her lips. No way. No way... there was no way that disgusting pig that raped her could be a cop. How is that possible?
I pulled away from her but kept my hands tightly on her shoulders, "Are you sure?" I asked slowly, trying to find out if she knew it was him without a doubt in her mind.
Her face that was clouded in terror suddenly morphed into one screaming of anger, "Of course I'm sure! His f*cking face haunts me every God damn night in my dreams!" she screamed back at me, startling me slightly, but I just hugged her to me once more. I understood why she was angry, I shouldn't have questioned her over something like this. She'd never accuse someone unless she was absolutely certain.
I pulled away again and smiled at her, "This is good! Now we can call the pol--," I quickly stopped talking when I realized my plan of action would indeed be useless now. We couldn't call the police. If they had one crooked cop on the force, who knows how many more there could be? My eyes softened when I looked at Channing, and we sat in silence as we realized there were really no figures of authority who we could count on to help her.
I just held her for a few minutes, rubbing her back as we rocked back and forth, still seated at the breakfast table. As we held each other in silence, a new thought came to mind: we were no longer safe, we could not stay here. He was a police officer, therefore he had access to plenty of resources that could easily find Channing. Not to mention, he got my license place number last night, he could trace us back to this house.
My heart fell into my stomach as this new realization enveloped me... Oh my God, we needed to leave... now.
I quickly stood, bringing Channing up with me, "We need to go, we need to get you out of here! They could find you now Chan! Oh God, you should have said something last night!" I said in a frantic voice, pulling her out of the kitchen.
A look of realization and shock shone on her face as we ran to my room and started throwing all of her stuff back into her bags, and rounding up all of her things. I wasn't sure where we were going to go right now, but we just needed to leave before any surprise visits take place. I'd call Niall once we were safely away from the house.
We changed quickly and I helped her grab her things as we made our way out to my car; she was almost shell-shocked as I dragged her around everywhere. Of course my mother was on the day shift today so she was already gone, at least I wouldn't have to worry about her being home alone.
We threw her things as well as ourselves into the tiny jeep and I barely chanced a look in my rearview mirror as I slammed my foot on the gas and reversed down the driveway. I just so happened to look into my rearview mirror at the last second, and the sight I saw there almost made me swallow my tongue.
A clean looking black and white cruiser skidded to a stop directly in my path, the flashing lights reflecting in my eyes as they widened in shock. I slammed on my brakes, unfortunately making Channing fly forward and slam her face on the dashboard since she had yet to put on her seatbelt.
"Oh my God Channing! I'm so sorry!" I cried loudly as I reached over to help her sit up, her lip was busted and the tiniest bit of blood was trickling down her chin. In the chaos of making sure that my best friend was alright, I forgot about the man who was approaching my vehicle. I didn't remember that we had to get away until it we heard the hard knock on my window, and by then it was too late.
|| n i a l l ||
We were just screwing around in the middle of rehearsals, you know, getting a lot of work done like usual. I laughed as Louis chased Zayn around until Zayn cowered behind Harry, using him as a human shield. In case you didn't know we obviously really cared about each others well being...
I was laughing as I dropped down, laying down on the stage and Liam came over to take a seat next to me. One of our stage managers were getting annoyed with us so she dismissed us for a short break, thankfully. What can I say? We can only sing 'What Makes You Beautiful' so many times before we feel like jumping off a cliff. I swear that is my least favorite song in existence. Yeah yeah yeah, I know that's how we got our big break... but God almighty. We've sang that song so much it freaking haunted my dreams.
I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and when I pulled it out, I furrowed my brow as I saw it was Jetta that was calling me. Why would Jet be calling me rather than Channing? A sense of dread washed over me, but I shook it off, figuring it was probably nothing to worry about. God I was wrong... I was so wrong.
"What's up Jet?" I asked trying to hide any hint of anxiousness from my voice, but what I was met with on the other end of the line had my blood run cold. Screaming, screaming, and more screaming. I couldn't tell who it was at first until I distinctly heard Channing's voice, "Jetta! Call Niall, call Niall!" she screamed frantically as she sounded like her voice was getting father and farther away.
I shot to my feet, quickly gaining the attention of the rest of the lads, "What's wrong Nialler?" Louis asked as he stopped perusing Zayn and came to stand next to me. I gulped loudly and brought the phone away from my ear, shakily pressing the speaker button so everyone could hear the all of the commotion going on in Missouri... halfway across the country... somewhere I could do nothing to protect her as I heard her screaming pleas. I had never felt more helpless in my life. All I could do was stand there and listen, while the screaming ripped my heart to shreds.
Jetta was sobbing as she tried to speak," H-he took her Niall! He's taking her back to him! Oh my God, I tried to s-stop him and I couldn't," she cried in a tortured voice. I couldn't hear Channing's screaming any longer and that worried me more than anything.
I was shaking as I tried to stay calm, I couldn't freak out right now, Channing needed me, "Jetta, breathe. Who took 'er!? Take deep breaths Jet, calm down," I said slowly, trying to follow my own advice. I looked up, glancing at the other lads and they all were staring back at me blankly, with wide eyes filled with sympathy.
Jetta was sobbing loudly, her breath was hitching so hard it sounded painful as she tried to retell the story of what happened, "N-Niall... he's a cop! He's a f-f*cking cop! The man that Jeff.... the man that raped her! Oh my God, he just showed up an-and took her!" she cried, sounding completely distraught.
I began pacing back and forth across the stage, unable to speak without breaking down, Harry took the phone from my hand, speaking soothing words to Jetta trying to calm her down so that she could fill us in on more of the situation.
I was frozen, my mind was blank... this couldn't be real. I was just holding her yesterday... I'd spoken to her on the phone last night; she was perfectly fine... there was no indication that something was wrong... so how could things turn upside down so quickly?
I was drawn from my thoughts when I heard my name being repeated urgently in my ear, "Niall... Niall... Niall!" Liam finally yelled, gaining my undivided attention. He relayed to me what Jetta had told them; how they had gotten pulled over last night for her license place light being burned out and how that had set things into a downward motion so quickly.
My mouth was dry as sandpaper as I tried to gulp back the gnawing fear that was crawling up my throat. It dug it's claws into my insides and rooted itself into my mind so that all that I was able to think were negative, horrible thoughts; no matter how much I tried to be positive, I couldn't rid my mind of the terrible thoughts... they kept blaring in my eardrums and squeezing my lungs so tightly that I couldn't catch my breath. I had never truly understood that fear could cause so much physical pain, and all I could think of as it ravished my insides and bruised my heart was that I'd failed her.
|| c h a n n i n g ||
I screamed and fought and clawed at the disgusting man as he forced me into the backseat of his cruiser. After smacking Jetta down to the ground for trying to help me, I could hear her frantically screaming into the phone, and I could only hope that someone could make it this time... that someone would save me.
My cheek throbbed from the blow I'd received against it and my throat ached because I continued to scream as he held me down, slamming my face into the seat cushions. He roughly gathered my hands behind my back and my heart fell when I heard the distinct clicking as he closed the handcuffs much too tightly around my battered wrists.
I was being stupid, I was consumed with panic and therefore unable to make any decisions that could possibly help me out of the situation. Without even realizing it, I'd allowed this worthless man to take total control over me again. He dug his knee into my back as he pressed my body down painfully into the seats. Tears blinded me as he pulled my head back by me hair, "Been lookin' for you, we have a lot of lost time to make up for," his wretched lips whispered into my ear.
He used his hand to choke me, literally making my face turn blue for a few seconds before releasing me and getting up, leaving me with sadistic laugh as I lay there gasping for air.
I curled into a ball and used my feet to try and kick the door open, but it held strong under my feeble attempts of escape. I noticed him getting my stuff from Jetta's car and throwing it carelessly into the front seat of his patrol car, he managed to grab al of my bags as well as my guitar in one trip.
"Thanks for packing ahead of time, I see you were expecting me?" he said with a smirk.
He sent Jetta a salute and before I knew what was happening, he was reversing out of the driveway and back on the busy streets. I knew where we were going... back to hell. Back to where Satan himself was waiting for me.
"The good news is, since I found ya, I'll get the first go," he said cryptically, smiling at me through the review mirror. I looked away from him and cried silently as my head lay against the cool window. As I sat there, I squeezed my eyes shut and released a silent prayer, hoping it could catch a ride to the heavens waiting above: Please don't let this happen. Not again, PLEASE. God, if you're there, stop him. Anything is better than this, make him crash the car, give him a flat tire, cause him a heart attack, make a satellite fall from sky and crush us to death... I don't care. Just please don't let him use me... hurt me again. Please God. I'm so sorry for whatever I did, I'll go to church everyday... please intervene please....
I continued my silent prayer all the way back to hell, hoping for something, anything to happen.
But nothing did.
He called Jeff and pulled the car into the garage, and as I turned in my seat to watch that old rusty garage door squeak shut, it felt like the final nail being hammered into my coffin. More silent tears slipped from my eyes as I saw the Policeman climb out of the car and meet Jeff over at the side door. He retrieved my bags, handing them off to him as well as my guitar.
Jeff looked my way, and when our eyes met, he gifted me with a smile drenched in malice and loathing. That smile alone was enough to make me want to slit my wrists so deep that I'd never have to see it again. He nodded his head at the cop and then sent me a wink as he shut the door.
The door opened again just as the cop made it back over to the car, and he whipped his head over his shoulder facing Jeff once more, "Ryder ya got 20!" he hollered out as a reminder. The familiarity of the phrase put a sickening taste in my mouth and fear in my heart.
It was happening again. No one was going to save me - and certainly not God himself - no, I was on my own; left at the mercy of the crooked cop and the man with no soul.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note achtundsechzig:
oh... Channy, Channy, Channy... it seems you've gotten yourself into yet another prickly pickle...
[OK GO plays softly in the background] oh here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again... OH HERE IT GOES AGAIN.
btW... was anyone else cracking up with the awkward larrietta wake up scene? bc i was... xD awe. larry feelz & oh my glob, let's not forget that precious Jarry moment. ugh. why can't i have your life Jetta?
Follow me u depraved lunatics... pls? with a naked niall on top?
IG: @niallersdirtymofo
Twatter: @wankingbcniall
<3 Mandarooo