Word Count: 2773
Charlotte knew it had been a stupid move visiting the Dark Lord. Stupid, but necessary. The five names she had presented to him were definitely not pulled out of her arse, but the people she had recurring dreams about. Their deaths to be specific. Namely, Sirius, Moody, Remus, Tonks and Fred. Yes, she had one of the dreams where Moody dies as well. Fell off the broom after getting hit by a curse.
She could have included Snape's name, but from the discussion she had with the man, it seemed he would rather die than witness whatever was coming her way. And it was definitely coming, there was no doubt about that.
The visit in itself was interesting in her opinion. The widely feared Dark Lord Voldemort turned out to be snake man in her dreams, but different. He wasn't as scary when she had dreamed of Snape's death, neither when she had seen Harry's when she was still a kid. He seemed . . . bored. During the meeting she hadn't made any suggestions of her wanting to join the ranks, and yet he had said that she was going to see him again soon enough. The conversation was entertaining to say the least.
But all was good till she wasn't on school grounds. Well, with her mood that is. Looking at the building, and walking down the hallways, it didn't feel right. Like something was missing. She hadn't yet accepted Cedric's death, she didn't want to. In her head he was still alive, and she looked around the halls hoping to see his bright smile, or mischievous eyes, but found herself getting disappointed when she didn't. McGonagall had told her to give herself some time for mourning, and Charlotte had joked saying she'd rather die before she did that, but the deputy headmistress hadn't found it funny whatsoever.
These days she preferred staying alone. People thought she was mourning, and gave her space easily, so her contact with humans was ghost smiles and tired nods. Not even the Slytherin's had approached her to discuss something important, except for Draco of course. He had almost thrown a fit before she was forced to physically shove him and storm away. Still, she saw him looking at her whenever she found herself in the same room as him. Whether it be a shared class of potions where he sat beside her, or across a crowded hallway, where it should have been physically impossible to even give each other courteous nods.
Karkaroff hadn't returned after the third task, and according to Lucius Malfoy, the man was on a run with his son. Expected.
Now it was the last day of the school, and everyone was gathered in the great hall for Dumbledore to give a speech. Everyone except Charlotte. The girl sat at the Astronomy tower watching rain. Her back to the wall, and legs pulled up to her chest. Her eyes closed with a bottle of strong rum on her right, and a glass on her left. Her mind was clouded due to the drunkenness, and all the sorrow she was trying to suppress.
"Go away," she mumbled under her breath, and started hitting her head from the both sides, as if trying to fix a T.V. to get better signal. The images of Cedric's lifeless body wouldn't leave her head, and she was ready to bang her head on the wall. "Just go away," she whined, and dropped her head into her hands.
"Are you sure?" asked a voice, and she looked up with a groan. It was Anamaria Malfoy leaning against the wall with hands folded at the chest and a pitiful smile on her lips.
"What are you doing here?" asked Charlotte squinting, trying to make sure that she was seeing right. Anamaria sighed, and walked towards her, taking a seat on her right. She sat with her back to the wall, but rather than pulling her legs up to her chest, like Charlotte, she simply folded them. Resting her hands on her knees, and looked at Charlotte sideways, and raised an eyebrow.
"Don't look at me like that," said Anamaria rolling her eyes, "Both of our brothers, even my dad seemed extremely worried about you, so thought might try talk to you and put their mind at ease." Charlotte rolled her eyes, and scoffed. Picking up her drink, she took a sip, now staring at the rain that had picked up speed.
"My brother died a week ago." She muttered, hating herself for saying that. "And what makes you think I'm interested in talking? Especially with you?"
"I can compel it out of you," she said with a shrug, and Charlotte turned to look at her deadpan.
"But you won't."
"But I won't," she admitted. Silence fell, as Charlotte turned away from the girl, and looked back at the rain. "How many years did you know him?" asked Anamaria, and Charlotte shot a glare towards her, but answered regardless.
"Four,"
"Met him at the ice-cream shop as well, did you?" asked Anamaria, and Charlotte could feel her lip turn up at that, as she shook her head.
"He helped me getting on the platform on my first year."
"Ah," said Anamaria with a nod. She pulled a glass out of her robe pocket, and poured herself a drink. Charlotte was too drunk to make a sassy remark about it, and let it be. "Did you know Sirius and Remus fight like they're an old married couple?" asked the girl, and Charlotte turned to her with a lopsided grin. "Living with them is nauseating really," the girl went on talking, and Charlotte kept on listening, and nodding along. It was nice that she hadn't asked if Charlotte was doing okay, or how was she coping up with Cedric's death. Because in reality she wasn't. She wasn't even trying to get through it. " . . . then came the topic of how many women Sirius shagged in his school years, I tell you it was one of the most . . ." Charlotte sat there listening and sipping on her drink. That's all she did. She didn't laugh when Anamaria would tell her a funny incidence and experiences, or cry whenever France or Cedric was mentioned.
She was numb.
----------*----------
Everyone was walking towards the train, but Charlotte walked towards McGonagalls' office. She had decided on going back home through the floo, and Dumbledore had allowed it. Charlotte was utterly grateful for that.
"May I come in, professor?" she asked, and knocked on the door a few times. Peeking inside, McGonagall sat writing the end-of-the-year report, as she made her way inside and sat down opposite to the woman.
"What can I do for you, Charlotte?" asked McGonagall in the softest voice, and Charlotte gulped a sob. It was so gentle that she was sure she would have cried, if she hadn't looked away in time.
"I – I just wanted to ask how was Hermione's training."
"It was great, I've appointed her a little bit homework."
"That's great," she said in a small voice, but didn't know what to say after that.
"What is it Char?" asked McGonagall leaning on the desk, her eyes focused on the girl.
Not meeting her eye, Charlotte spoke up. "The war is inevitable Minnie," her voice timid. "Someone once told me about the possibility of losing so much, that you don't feel like living anymore." Finally looking up at McGonagall, she saw the woman look pained as well, "Does that really happen?"
Something flashed in McGonagall's eyes, a particular emotion that Charlotte couldn't exactly distinguish, but she had got her answer.
"Oh," she said, and looked at her hands.
"Just because it's true," said McGonagall, and Charlotte looked up to her with a dazed look, "doesn't mean life is not worth living."
"How do you have so much optimism?" she asked with some undertone of humour, but a serious expression. McGonagall cracked a smile and leaned back on her chair.
"Well, when I thought I had lost," answered the woman, "Or I felt lost, something always popped up in my life to keep going. You know Char, as you once pointed out, I'm really old –" Charlotte laughed embarrassed remembering the conversation, "And getting old comes with a lot of experience, and in my experience of sixty years,"
"You're sixty?" asked Charlotte surprised, and McGonagall nodded chuckling.
"Yes. And in these sixty years I've learned that when you feel helpless and hopeless, you're always going to given the opportunity to get stronger in one way or another. When you feel lost, it's the opportunity to find yourself."
"So, what should I do now?" asked Charlotte looking at her. "I don't think – feel, I don't feel ready enough to accept that Ced's –" she didn't complete the sentence, she couldn't. Her throat felt tight, as she gulped sighed. "I feel weak"
"You need some rest Char," said McGonagall. "Severus said that you just needed to take some time off for yourself, and he's right."
"I can't do that!" said Charlotte slightly offended. "I can't just sit bathing in the sun, and drinking tequila sunrise, when the Wizarding world is about to go through some major changes. I can't just – I can't do that"
"Relaxing is not always sitting on the beach, drinking alcohol and sunbathing, Char," said McGonagall with a chuckle. "Tell me, when was the last time you sat down and painted?"
----------*----------
"Are you quite sure about your decision?" asked Dumbledore. Sitting in his office, Charlotte had been staring at the bookshelves behind him, and answering his question every now and then.
"Huh?" she asked and turned to look at him.
"Are you sure you don't want to live at Grimmauld Place?" he asked repeating the question.
"Oh, yeah," she said with a firm nod, "If I can't live at Spinner's End anymore, then I would prefer living in my house."
"And Miss Malfoys' living arrangement,"
"I'm aware she'll be living with me," she said with a sigh, "I think we've gone over this enough times Headmaster. I would prefer living in my house, where the floo will be accessible only to go out, and not the other way around. I prefer not to live at Grimmauld Place for the sole reason of presence of too many people. Harry will be spending most of his break at his aunt, and then he will be escorted to the dingy old place where you're setting up the new 'Order of the Phoenix'. I will be talking to Jack and Lucy about their interest and involvement of the war, and if they are not, I'll make sure to give them a fair amount of warning. I will be not allowed to sit in the Order meetings, but at this point I don't care. I will have to be aware of who I contact even more, and be on even greater alert," she rehearsed.
A silence fell in the room. Snape was staring straight behind Dumbledore. The headmaster was staring at the girl to see if he could see any hesitation in her words, and Charlotte was staring at the desk, drawing random patters with her fingers.
"You will be visiting your cousin every now and then, I believe?" asked the headmaster.
"When there's no one else but him and Remus, yes."
"Very well," he said, "He will also be asked to brief you about the discussions taking place in the meeting, yes I remember you mentioning your disinterest in the Order business, but we all are working for the same cause. I would prefer that you know what is going on."
"I'd prefer not," she mumbled, but Dumbledore had seemed to heard it. "Anything else, headmaster?"
"That will be all, Charlotte."
----------*----------
Stepping out in the living room of the Spinner's End, she took a breath of relief. Walking towards the sofa she sat down, and opened her jacket to let Kara slither out.
"You brought the damn snake in the house, again?" asked Snape, and she looked at him with a lopsided grin.
"Well, I need some snake companion replacement, now that I won't be living here." Snape growled, but cracked a smile and sat down beside her.
"Are you sure about not living here?" he asked slowly. She stopped mid-petting Kara, and looked at the man on her left with a cocked eyebrow.
"You're talking as if I were given a choice"
"So if you were, you would have lived here?" he asked a little surprise, and she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"Of course, what kind of question is that?"
"Just checking," he said with a grin, "If you still prefer living with your old man, or you got the sense of independence"
"Dad, I'm fifteen, and I would choose living with you no matter how old I get, over living alone," she said nudging him lightly. Scooting closer too him, she placed her head on her shoulder and sighed in contentment. "I hate being alone"
Snape said nothing as he placed a hand over her shoulder, and rested his head on hers. the two drifted into deep slumber, only to wake up after sixteen hours.
----------*----------
"Have you packed everything?" asked Snape as she stood in the living room with all her things in an extendable suitcase.
"For the nineth time, yes. Got my clothes, all the books, everything else. If there's anything else that I've left somewhere lying around the house, and you think I'm going to use it in some way, owl it, if not, keep it. If you don't want it, throw it out. Okay?"
"Alright," he said with a smile and a nod. "Now are you going to give me one last hug or what?"
"You act like I'm never going to see you again," she chuckled and gave the man a hug. It was a warm and loving embrace, and she could tell that Snape didn't want to let go. She had seen the fear in his eyes as if afraid that if when she walked through the floo, he had lost her forever. "I'm not going before you, dad," she whispered just for his sake. And with one small squeeze, he unwrapped his arms around her.
"I wanted to tell you something, Angel" he said in a whisper, and she arched her neck to meet his eye.
"What is it?"
"It's about your brother" she groaned, and shook her head, as she detached herself and picked up the suitcase.
"I don't have a brother, dad. And I'd rather not know anything about that arrogant sod, and prefer to keep living my life without any more condescending fuckheads ruining it. So please, by all mean go ahead and don't tell me anything." Sass was high on that one, and Snape cracked a smile.
"I've taught you well," he said with a smug smile, and with one last hug she had flooed to Jack & Lucy's.
"It's closing time Char," said Lucy as she walked in, and Charlotte gave the girl a wave.
"Oh, I know Luce, just passing." Lucy nodded with a smile as she stacked the glasses on the shelf, "Hey, are you and Jack free anytime soon?"
"Uhh . . ." she looked at the calendar with squinted eyes, and nodded. "Yeah, I think we can make around lunch on Saturday. How does that sound?"
"Saturday is . . . woah next week, you guys are super busy, huh?" Lucy smiled with a nod.
"Well, we're still hiring for job, couldn't find anyone with the working hours we're looking for, so can't manage yet."
"You're hiring?" asked Charlotte with a surprised look, and Lucy furrowed her eyebrows pointing towards the notice behind her.
"You really are out of it, huh?" asked the older girl placing a bottle of butterbeer in front of her.
"Yep," said Charlotte picking it up with a smile, utterly grateful. "Put this on my –"
"On the house," said Lucy with a smile, "You've had a tough week it seems."
"You heard, huh?" asked Charlotte humorously, as the older girl cracked a smile, but then sighed.
"Everyone heard," she replied with a nod and picked up another glass and stacked it on the shelf. "So, I'll see you Saturday?"
"You'll probably see me every day, but yes, lunch on Saturday."
"Alright then," said Lucy with a smile and a nod. "Have a good night,"
Charlotte walked out of the bar and into her house with a small smile on her face. She placed the bottle in the fridge that Sirius had bought.
Walking to her room she put all her things in their place in under five minutes, and took a long bath, with scented candles and soft music. Relax, McGonagalls' words rang through her ears and she summoned herself some biscuits.
"This is what they call heaven," she said to herself with a small smile on her lips.
Walking out, she walked towards her cupboard. Pulling out a long black dress, she placed it on her queen-sized bed with a sad smile.
She had to prepare for Cedric's funeral.
----------*----------