-One Year Earlier-
LUKE'S POV
I walk the halls with my three best friends, Calum, Ashton and Michael. The only reason we're all friends is because nobody else wants to be friends with any of us, and I guess we bonded over that. I mean, it's not like I mind anyways. I'd much rather be friends with an overly giggly boy with curly hair, a boy who likes to cuddle a little too much and a boy that doesn't realize that he needs to stop dying his hair before it all falls out over any of the other sporty douche-bags that roam this school anyways. I guess I've never really fit in with anyone else but these guys. We're a group of outcasts and I wouldn't have it any other way.
"So," Ashton says to me with a small smile, showing off his dimples that are as deep as the potholes we hit every day on the school bus. "My family is out of town for the night, I was thinking about having a party?" He suggests.
"A party?" Calum asks. "How can you throw a party? Nobody would show up." He says a little harshly. He raises an eyebrow. "Sorry, but it's true."
"All you have to have is something to get them drunk and they'll show." Michael says with a smirk.
"Oh, that kind of party." Calum says.
"No, I was thinking along the lines of having a clown and Shirley Temples." Ashton jokes, letting out a little giggle. "What do you think, Luke?" He asks, turning to me.
"I think that a Shirley Temple would be quite good if you mixed some vodka in there." I say with a half smile. "But, I can't tonight. I promised my mum that I would spend time with her tonight, she was complaining of being lonely where my dad and brothers are out visiting family that my mum and I don't like. I felt bad, so I gave in to doing something with her tonight." I say and let out a sigh of annoyance, even though I don't mind in the least. To be honest, I quite like spending time with my mum, but I know that they would give me shit about being a "Mommas Boy' if I didn't act pissed about it.
An evil smile peers on Michael's face. "Yeah guys, you know Luke can't get drunk. His mommy would be so disappointed at him."
"Fuck off, mate." I say and laugh it off. "Laugh at me all you want." I say as my mum pulls up to the school. "But who is getting a nice peaceful drive home, and who is taking the bus that goes out of it's way to hit every bump it can?" I ask smugly as I give them a little wave and get into the passengers seat of my mum's car.
"Fuck you!" Michael mouths to me, followed by a friendly smile to ensure me that he was kidding.
I stick my middle finger up at him, scrunching my nose. I put my seat belt on as my mum starts driving off. "How was school today, love?" My mum asks me with a warm smile.
I shrug. "Like any other day, I guess." I tell her, throwing my book bag in the back seat. "Ms. Fisher officially hates me." I announce.
"Why do you say that?" She asks, as her eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"She failed me on another multiple choice test." I say and sigh in defeat. "I googled the answers, I should have gotten an eighty percent, but she gave me a thirty."
"Did you ask her about it?" Mum asks.
"Yeah, she said what does it matter, because it doesn't effect my overall mark." I explain. "I wanted to tell her to take her overall mark and shove it, but I didn't. Out loud anyways." I say with a small smile.
My mum laughs at that. "Is there a reason she doesn't like you?"
I shrug. "Not one that I know of, but it doesn't really matter." I say, dropping the topic. "Where are we going anyways?" I ask.
She shrugs. "I don't know." She says. "Through the McDonald's Drive Thru and for a drive, I was thinking. Anywhere certain you would like to go?"
"No, your plan sounds good to me." I say as I feel my stomach grumble. "As long as McDonald's is our first stop."
~
After awhile of being parked in the McDonald's drive way, poking fun of random strangers, and keeping up with small talk, my mum decides that it's time to go driving. She changes gears and pulls out of the parking lot, asking me to go through some CD's to put some music on. I flip through the case of CD's that she keeps in the car, but it's all music that she is a fan of, me not as much. I don't mind though. I just grab the first one I can think of some of the songs on and put it in the CD player. I tap my fingers to the beat as a smile appears on my mum's face. "Kelly Clarkson, good choice!" She says as she starts humming along to the song. I have to admit that for awhile I found myself getting slightly, and embarrassingly into the music.
She pulls over on the side of the road and looks over at me with a smile. I don't notice it at first, but when I do, I stop singing along to the song and give her a half smile back. "What?" I ask with a small laugh.
"I could listen to you sing all day, Luke." She says with pride.
"You're the only one." I say and let a little chuckle out. "Jack and Ben always yell at me to shut up."
"They're your older brothers, they're supposed to give you a hard time." She says with a smile. "Trust me, you're such a talented singer, and I love you so much."
"I love you-" I get cut off by a bright light followed by a bang.
~
I open my eyes. I have no clue where I am, or what happened. All I know is that my head is pounding. I go to call out for my mum, but my voice is barely audible. "Mum.." I call out with a small, husky voice. I put my arm up, to cover my mouth so I can cough as I notice that it is in a cast. I start panicking. "Help." I say after clearing my throat. My head starts spinning as my heart starts pounding really fast, faster than I thought possible.
I didn't even know that I was going to cry, but before I knew it, tears we're rushing down my face, beyond control. "Someone?" I call out, my voice getting a little stronger. "Please?" I yell as a nurse with a sympathetic smile rushes into my room. I'm at a hospital, this much makes sense now.
"Can you tell me who you are?" She asks me.
"Luke Hemmings." I say. "Where is my mum?"
"How many fingers am I holding up?" She asks, waving three fingers in my face.
"Three." I say, getting a little annoyed. "What happened to me? Where is my mum?" I ask again.
"Do you feel light headed, or nauseated?" She asks, still ignoring my questions.
"No." I say in a stern voice. "I'm fine, now please shut up for two minutes so you can tell me what the hell is going on?" I snap. "Please." I beg.
"I'll go get the doctor." She says with a friendly smile.
I sniffle and wipe my face off. I feel like such an idiot, sitting over in tears, when I don't even know what happened. A few minutes a doctor, who is older and quite chubby comes in and sits on the edge of my bed. "I am Doctor Cameron." He says with a soft voice.
"I'm Luke." I say, out of politeness.
"Nice to meet you, Luke." He says with a warm smile. He's being too nice. "I bet you're pretty confused, huh?" He asks.
I look down at the blanket covering me, I start playing with a loose thread to calm my nerves a little. "Yeah." I say in a small voice.
"You were in an accident." He says. "That would explain your broken arm, that I noticed you trying not to eye down." He says.
"Am I okay?" I ask. "Besides the broken arm, I mean. I'm not like bleeding internally, am I?" I ask.
He gives me a small smile, instantly comforting me a little. "You're fine, Luke." He says.
A short lived half smiles creeps up on my face. It drops. "Where is my mum?" I ask. "She must be so worried."
Dr. Cameron's face drops a little, sending a bad feeling to the pit of my stomach. "Your mom wasn't as lucky as you, Luke." He says. "The car that hit you guys, smashed into the drivers side of the car, giving your mum a terrible brain injury." He pauses with a long sigh. "She had passed before the ambulance got to her. I'm so sorry, Luke."
"What?" I ask, in a voice that is almost as small as a whisper. "A-are you sure?" I ask, not sure of where to look.
He nods. "I'm so sorry."
I put my head back, looking up at the ceiling. "My dad." I say. "Does my dad know?" I ask, wiping away the tear that I haven't noticed fell until now.
"We called him. He and your brothers are on the next flight home." He tells me.
"When is that?" I ask, still not having the nerve to look at him.
He sighs. "Tomorrow at noon."
"Tomorrow at noon, on top of a four hour flight." I say. "I'm going to be alone until almost dinner time tomorrow."
"I'll make sure you're not left alone, even if I have to stay with you myself, if that's what you want." He says.
I shrug. "Thanks." I say. "But, for now can I just please be alone?" I ask. "Maybe try to sleep some of this confusion off."
"If you need anything, don't hesitate." He says. "I'll be around."
I nod and close my eyes as he walks out of my room, closing the door behind him. As He leaves, everything that I've been holding in, starts pouring out. Endless tears fall down my face as I look around my room a little. It's terribly dull. I decide that it is way too bright in here to get any sort of sleep, so I kick one foot over the edge of my bed, followed by my other, staying seated up for a minute, I stare at the floor. I lower myself down and hop off the bed as I start walking around the room, which I'm probably not supposed to do. I walk over to the wall, looking for a light switch. Before too long, I find one. I memorize a path to my bed before turning the light off and walking back over. I cover myself the the thin blanket as I try to turn my brain off and slowly drift off to sleep.
~
Today is the day of my mum's funeral. I don't know how this is going to go. I have been home fora couple of days now, and everything is a mess. Suddenly, everyone and their dog, who never gave a shit about me wants to be my best friend, or wants to sign my cast. Wishing me peace in mind and a speedy recovery. This is all bullshit. Complete bullshit. They don't really care about me, any of them. They just want to look good, and befriend the kid who's mom just died. I know that, I see past it, but it's really getting on my nerves.
My dad and brothers haven't said barely two words since they've gotten home. When they got here, my dad walked into my hospital room in tears, telling me about how sorry he is that he couldn't be there sooner. I didn't know what to say, so I just asked him to sign me out of the hospital, which he did. I thought maybe things would go back to normal after I got home, but I was so wrong.
There is a lingering emptiness around my house since mom hasn't been home. It doesn't feel like home. It doesn't look like home, either. It just looks like some sick joke, Jesus or whoever is playing on me. It doesn't feel right. Maybe it's the quietness that fills the halls, or the tension that builds every time someone goes to talk, in fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Or maybe it's just the fact that she's gone, and nobody can bring her back, no matter how hard we cry, hope and wish.
I get out of the car as quickly as possible when we arrive at the cemetery. I go over and stand between Michael and Ashton, Calum being on the other side of Ash. It's silent, but I'd much rather be with them than my dad and brothers right now.
As the priest clears his throat to talk, I look over at my dad and brothers who are all wearing sunglasses to hide their visibly tear stained faces. I shake my head as I take my eyes off of them and look around at the other people who are here. Some of them I've never before seen in my life.
"..And may Jesus welcome her into paradise with open arms." The priest says as I tune him back out. His words, making my lip start to shake. I bite the inside of my lip, to keep my emotion from showing, but it's no use. A feel a tear run down my face. Ashton looks over at me with a frown, tears also in his eyes and puts an arm around me.
~
I sit on my bed as I look over at Ash, Michael and Calum, standing around me. They don't have much to say. We've been home for a couple of hours now. All of us, still in our suits, with our ties undone and hanging off our necks. "You did really good today." Ashton says, breaking the silence with.
I look over at him in confusion. How does one do good at a funeral?
"I meant you handled it well." He explains. "You're a lot stronger than I am, my friend." He says.
"Me too." Calum says. "If it were me, I would have been in hysterics, but you had a good hold of yourself."
I just nod.
"You've got to say something, man." Michael says as I turn over and look at him, he has a look of sympathy and guilt on his face. "I know it fucking sucks, but you've got to say something."
I take a deep breath, as I feel a sudden strike of anger hit me. "No you don't." I finally say. "You don't know how it feels. Nobody does. Her last words were to me, I didn't even get to finish my sentence to her before I was cut off by a car ramming into us."
"It'll be okay, man." Ashton says.
"No it won't be." I snap. "My mother is dead, okay? Gone. I can't ever bring her back. She's never coming back, because she is six feet down in the ground, and you have the nerve to tell me that it's going to be okay?" I say, getting louder and louder with every word.
"He was just trying to help you, Luke." Calum says quickly, looking down at his feet. "Just try to understand that we don't know what to say, we're just trying to be here for you."
"Well,you know what?" I yell. "Don't even bother. Just leave." I point to the door.
"Luke, I don't really think that's a good idea-" Ashton says.
"Go!" I yell, cutting him off. I feel tears weld in my eyes. "Just get out! I don't want you here, any of you! I didn't want you here in the first place, can't you see? I don't even like you guys, just get out!" I say, and instantly regret. I didn't mean one word of that.
"Whatever, fuck you, man." Michael says and heads toward the door. "All we were trying to do was to help you through this, but fuck it. We'll leave you to suffer all alone. Have fun being miserable all alone." He says.
I quickly examine the looks on their faces. They're all similar. They're all hurt, and a little angry. But, mostly hurt.
My silence must speak louder than words, because seconds later, they're gone. Closing the door behind them. I lay back down on my bed as tears run down my face. I have got to stop crying so much. I can't be weak. I get up out of bed and examine my face in the mirror. "Feel the pain, don't show it." I say to myself. "Don't let anybody know that it's there."
A/N
Well, this was the first chapter to my new story. I hope you all enjoy. Please comment, letting me know what you thought. Favorite and vote and all that fun stuff too if you'd like! Any feedback would be very much appreciated. (: Thank you for taking the time out to read, if you do!