A/N: Yay!!! I'm so happy that this chapter in particular ended up being a bonus update chapter. It's one of the longer ones, and I put a lot into it. I hope you all enjoy it! (Also, if you have never heard the song the chapter is named after then please check it out! IMO it's overly underrated.)
5647 words
Posted 5/20/22
I've nearly been in tears often over the course of the past 24 hours, but this time there is no keeping them at bay. I let them free fall while I silently watch the tow truck operator as he raises the boom and lifts the front tires of my beloved vehicle off the ground.
Winslow didn't have any good news to give me when he dropped by and took a look at the engine. He shared with me a lot of mechanical mumbo jumbo, that honestly I didn't remotely understand or remember five minutes after he said it, but in the long run my final decision was made due to the fact that it would cost a lot more than the car was worth to repair the problem. So the tow truck operator is going to be taking it to a place that junks cars and sells off their parts, and in a couple days time I will receive a call letting me know for certain the amount the parts are worth. As long as I am agreeable to the amount suggested shortly thereafter they will be sending me a check. I honestly don't see why I would disagree to any amount they quote me though. It all equaled me ending up with more money in my pocket rather than having to spend a lot more money, that I didn't have, to get it fixed. I didn't have the opportunity to drive the car often over the course of the years, but I am letting go of one of the last things I own of my mother's. That fact alone is enough to validate every single tear I shed.
Liz and Micah stay for a short while after, but she unfortunately does end up having to leave in order to get ready for her shift at the diner. "I really wish I could stay, but maybe I will look into Alluvion on my own when I have some free time. I'm curious what makes you like them so much, Raina."
"Yes! That means I could end up recruiting two Baby Currents today!" She parades around my apartment happily.
I glance at the clock. It is almost ten and Carson should be off his shift soon. "Should I text Carson and invite him over too?" Ultimately it is my decision, but I never know how Raina will react to the idea of Carson's presence. Ever since he made her latté wrong the first time she has kind of had a problem with him. It's definitely an extremely overly dramatic reaction to freeze someone out for something so mild, but that's honestly Raina's personality in a nutshell.
She sighs. "He's your friend, and this is your apartment." She casts her eyes around the room and gives it her patented distasteful look. She understands why I live here, but once she is given any opportunity to spout off her negative opinion regarding my apartment there's simply no stopping her. "I somewhat doubt that he will be interested though once you let him know what we are doing."
I actually don't like texting people. I much prefer calling them any day of the week, but because I am not sure he is off yet for certain I pop off a quick message asking him to call me when he can.
The phone rings only a minute or two later. "Hey, babe. Are you calling me to tell me all about your soulmate mark?"
When Carson first started calling me babe I had immediately asked him not to. When he asked me why I made sure to let him know that it made me uncomfortable. That's when he proceeded to tell me his sexual preference. Afterward, he did apologize for calling me 'babe' but he explained also that he sincerely meant it as merely a term of endearment. Once I learned he was gay though the endearment's meaning definitely changed for me, and I promptly told him he didn't have to worry about using it after all. Up until yesterday, he too, like me, hasn't had the injection.
He also has to save up the funds for it, but he hasn't been working on doing so for quite as long as I have. His parents learned he was gay at only thirteen years old, and rather than supporting their son's preferences they kicked him out of the house. He didn't have any other family to take him in, but because child services weren't called regarding the situation he wasn't put in foster care either. Unfortunately, that meant he ended up living on the streets for several years before he could even save up enough money to be able to afford a place to live. After that he had to make extra to simply be able to keep up with rent and pay off his bills.
"Yeah, sort of." I'm not sure how long I was lost in my thoughts before I finally remembered to answer his question. "I was curious if you wanted to come over for a bit." I glance at Raina, and while I am tempted to leave out the fact that she is here I don't believe in being dishonest like that. "Raina is here, and well, she has a theory of who my soulmate might be." I take extra care not to add an s to 'soulmate.' I would rather let him know that fact face to face once he gets here, along with Raina's theory.
"Well, that doesn't sound mysterious at all." His voice fully conveys his obvious sarcasm colored with a bit of intrigue and lighthearted humor. "I'm actually just approaching the block you live on so I will be there in just a few minutes."
"Okay, then I will see you soon."
"Babe, I'll probably be there faster than you can sing the entirety of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." He teases.
His comment was due to the fact that he tried to get me to go to a karaoke bar once. I flat out refused because I don't, and will never, sing in public. So, he likes to tease me about my stubbornness regarding singing frequently. I let out a sigh full of exasperation once I disconnected the call.
"I find it funny how you are trying to keep the fact that you have five soulmates secret when he literally will find out in minutes at most."
I shrug my shoulders. "I just didn't want to share that particular fact over the phone."
Raina surprises me with her next words. "I honestly get that." Then she delivers a huge blow that makes me beyond nervous. "But, if you are Alluvion's soulmate you are going to have to get used to the idea of not only the fact that you have five soulmates but also that it will be reported public knowledge in next to no time."
Shit, she's right! If I am their soulmate then our relationship will probably be aired publicly. Would I be able to handle that? And wouldn't that mean I would become somewhat famous myself? Damn, I don't want that! I mean I'll deal with it the best I can, but the idea of living in the limelight like that at all makes my body itch as if I was breaking out into hives.
Raina must see my inner panic, because in the next moment she proves to me exactly why we are as close as we are despite the outlandishness of her personality. "Hey, don't panic. Let's not worry about something like that until we know for certain. My grandmother always said not to 'borrow trouble.' So, I am going to reiterate that. Don't worry about something we aren't sure is true yet."
I arch an eyebrow at her. "I'm pretty sure it was MY grandmother that said that. In fact, I am pretty positive I delivered this exact same speech to you once or twice over the past few years."
She shrugs her shoulders indifferently. "Yeah, both of my grandmothers are mean, vindictive, old biddies. There is no way either of them would have said something like that."
I don't think she actually means that about her grandmothers. I think she was just trying to get me to lighten up. Luckily, it works adequately enough for time to pass by so rapidly that the next thing I know Carson is knocking at my door.
Raina is at the door answering it before I can get up to do so. Once the door shuts behind them. "So, the first thing you should know is that she kind of fibbed to you on the phone just now."
I arch an eyebrow at her. "Really Raina?"
"What? If I had left you the opportunity to explain it on your own we would be here for hours before you would actually get to the point." Once again another exaggeration, but perhaps it is a bit helpful that she intervened after all. I don't expect her to continue on explaining the situation herself though. "She said soulmate. The correction of that fact would be regarding the number. Soulmates. Plural not singular." She picks up my phone from where I left it on the couch and punches in my security pin code. (I honestly have no clue how she knows it, so I guess I will be changing that after she leaves.) Then she pulls up the pictures we took and hands the phone over to Carson.
His eyes grow wide as he scrolls through each one and studies each of the marks on my body. "What?!?!" He grabs my hands as he continues enthusiastically. "Lily, did you know that most of these words are songs by the Kpop group Alluvion?"
Raina arches a skeptical eyebrow at Carson. "Wait. You know of Alluvion?"
"Girl, please. I've been a Current since before the fandom name even existed."
And now the two friends of mine that haven't seen eye to eye this whole time have something to bond over. Yay! Honestly, I am not sure if I am being sincere or sarcastic at this moment, but it is definitely a good thing that they do have something in common in the long run. Maybe she will stop complaining about his lattés when she hasn't had one of his since he first started at the café.
"Good. Then you can help me educate Lily about them. Although, we are both trying to be level headed. We are not claiming she is their soulmate until we get some kind of proof. After all, a song by them called Whispers doesn't exist."
He nods. "Okay, so where are we starting?"
"Spotify. Specifically the songs marking up her body first. I honestly don't want Lily to know what they look like quite yet. I think it would be smart for her to form her own opinion about their music first." Raina explains to him.
"The only minus about that is she won't understand the Korean words." Carson frowns.
Raina nods. "I just want her to get a vibe of their music first."
The first two songs they play,"My Heartbeat's Echo" and "Your Lullabye", both give me the immediate impression of being romantic ballads. They both have a rap break that somehow seems to seamlessly fit into that space of each of the songs despite their slow rhythms. After listening to those two songs I am curious, and I can't help but ask. "Do all of their songs have raps in them?"
"Only the songs that all of them perform have both vocal lines and rap lines. There are some songs that are strictly performed by the rapline, and there are some songs that are strictly performed by the vocal line." Raina calmly explains to me.
"'Swinging from a Star', is strictly a vocal line performance." Carson announces before he presses the play button and the melody hits my ears.
I am once again crying, but because I don't know the language I am really unsure why. "Why did that song make me so sad?" I can't help but ask. The title made me think it would be a sweet melody, maybe a lullaby that someone might even play to help their child go to sleep.
"Honestly? I think I reacted the same way the first time I heard it." Carson admits. "I think it's something about Jiseon's vocals. He seems able to make the listener simply 'feel.'"
The fact that Carson believes that, has the sentiment ringing true in my mind, but it doesn't feel like the answer to why there are still tears in my eyes. I almost wonder if I understand the song on a certain level where I don't actually need to be able to translate the lyrics.
"We saved this one for last on purpose." Raina gets an evil glint in her eye before she presses the play button to start 'Lazy Caresses.'
Immediately, I realize that along with the R&B vibe of this particular song, it is also heavily hinting at raw sexuality. If I could keep what I say next from ever being uttered I totally would. Of course my mouth must have a mind of its own. "Damn. Was there a spike in South Korean births nine months after this song came out?!?!" The two opposite me both start laughing hysterically, and from the heat that has risen to my cheeks I know they have to be painted a bold pinkish-red hue due to my immediate embarrassment.
We take a break to sort out something for lunch. Somehow pizza ends up being the go to consensus from the other two. Turns out they also have similar taste in pizza toppings: sausage, pepperoni, and banana peppers. I decide to order a separate pizza of my own since it depends upon my mood whether I want banana peppers or not. I end up settling for a cauliflower crust with spinach, diced tomatoes, mixed sweet peppers, mushrooms, and light grilled chicken. I also ordered a berry based spinach salad with a raspberry vinaigrette. I know that I won't finish either the pizza or the salad, but I don't mind eating either dish as leftovers.
Carson frowns while we sit in the middle of the floor of my living space with both of the pizza boxes opened in front of us. "I feel like we should have ordered Korean instead. Get you used to the cuisine."
I see his point of view, but I have to be realistic. Which of course has me wanting to encourage them to also be realistic. "Once again we still don't know if they are my soulmates or not. When we can determine it as a 'for certain' fact, then I am all for trying Korean food for the first time, although I kind of doubt it will be as good."
"We can always hit up one of the franchises that originated in South Korea or something." Carson offers.
Raina wrinkles her nose. "Or get food from a local restaurant that is owned and operated by Korean-Americans."
I nod and agree that both ideas sound promising.
Once their pizza is practically demolished, and I put the rest of mine away in the fridge after eating a couple of slices, Carson asks about the next step regarding my Baby Current initiation. "So, what do we do next? Do we hop on YouTube and find her one of those compilation guides to who's who?"
"Mm hm. I know the perfect one too. One of the Currents I am subscribed to just put up a new compilation 'who's who' guide with extra content." Luckily the one positive amenity that my apartment complex has is building wide WiFi. Carson hands his laptop over to Raina so she can pull up the YouTube channel she is looking for.
As the video starts up I see my first image of the group as a whole, and I can't help but gasp in astonishment. "Wow!" Unfortunately the image isn't up long before the content creator puts up a page filled with text and introductions.
I'm pulled away from reading it though by Carson's automatic outburst to my verbal reaction at seeing them for the first time. Luckily he reaches over and pauses the video before the screen switches so I don't have to worry that I might miss something. "Yeah, they are all hot as hell! The group has three visuals, which is pretty unheard of in a group that only has five members."
"Visual?" I can't help but ask since that's a term I don't completely understand.
"It's a role in a Kpop group given to the member, or members, that epitomizes East Asian standards when it comes to beauty." Raina explains, although to me it is obvious that she is not thrilled with the concept. "They'll point out which members the visuals are as the video goes on."
The first member that pops up is Gamon Zhang. He has dreamy wide hazel eyes with a beauty mark underneath his right eye, which in my opinion adds to his overall visual appeal, a sharp broad nose that somehow perfectly fits his long face, an extraordinarily plump pair of lips that kind of make me both feel jealous and curious about what they might feel like pressed against mine, and his skin is a caramel tawny color which I can tell is genetic and not a product of being out in the sun often. "Huh? He has hazel eyes. I thought Eastern Asians had dark brown/black eyes."
Raina pauses the video so I won't miss anything, and Carter responds to me. "Nice catch! It's not unheard of to have an eye color outside of brown and black, but it's definitely rare. I obviously don't know the percentage, but I think it's probably a number in the single digits of the population. Gamon's actually been asked this question before by a reporter here in the U.S., and he must have been prepared for the question because he actually provided images of other Eastern Asians with blue, green, and others with hazel eyes like himself."
They start up the video again, and once more I find myself curious about something that came up. Because when it mentions his nationality I can't help but be completely confused. "Doesn't the K in Kpop stand for Korean? Gamon is Thai?"
Raina pauses the video once more. "Kpop groups aren't always entirely composed of Korean members, although a majority do tend to be Korean."
Carson asks Raina not to restart the video quite yet. "Something also important to know. The rest of the members are Korean, and they will be introduced with their surnames first since that is how their names are traditionally written."
"So, Gamon, is the leader's given name?" They both nod at me then shake their heads.
"Um. You do realize that both of you contradicted yourselves right?"
They share a look with each other. Carson sighs and volunteers the information. "Gamon is part of his given name. Thai tend to have exceptionally long names, therefore they all go by a shortened version of it. Gamon's full name is actually Gamon Benzasnee Zang."
"So, that second part you said, it's not a middle name?" I don't even try to repeat what he said. I know I would totally flub it up.
"Nope. It is legitimately considered part of his full given name." Raina responds.
I just remembered the second half of my question and realized that there was another fact I saw on the screen that I didn't understand. "What makes him the leader though?"
This question they both chuckle at. "Gamon often jokes that he doesn't want to be the leader when something seems to go wrong. That's why we were laughing. I'll have to explain the history of their group and the other groups under the same label to give you the whole idea, but to make a long story short Alluvion had to debut earlier than they originally planned. They had to decide on a leader pretty fast, and Gamon often complains he got the role simply because he is the oldest of the five members. Not all Kpop groups' oldest member ends up being the leader, but it is often the case. The thing is, if you see him in moments where he takes his role as leader seriously you understand that him being the oldest is only half of the reason he ended up with the role." Raina explains.
"So, what does a group leader do then?" I can't help but ask.
"A myriad of things. Mostly they just tend to be the spokesperson for the group, but they also motivate and take care of the other members." Carson responds this time. I am beginning to wonder if they are noticing how they are working together like this. I mean Carson actually doesn't have a problem with Raina; he has a problem with the fact that Raina has a problem with him. Basically if she wasn't going to like him then he wasn't going to waste his energy to try to like her either. I'm pretty sure they are both working past that petty crap now though.
The video starts up again, and I watch as other facts roll across the screen. Aside from being the leader he is also the main rapper and a vocalist. The video then plays some clips of him doing just that. I can't help but be astounded at the grit in his voice and the sex appeal he oozes on stage. Then they play some funny/silly moments where he seems to be the polar opposite of his stage persona.
The next thing they mention is some of his hobbies. He apparently avidly enjoys water sports. I watch a few clips where he is water skiing and riding a waverunner. I can only guess the waverunner scenes had one of the other members on the back of the vehicle, even though I couldn't completely make out his face due to motion blur so there's no way I could know for certain, even if I could identify each member by their face. I can't help but be a tad depressed that he is hiding his physique behind a rashguard and life jacket.
The last thing the video mentions is his love regarding seafood, especially shrimp. It shows a few scenes of him eating candidly with no care regarding the camera on him.
Carson pauses the screen again. "I just need a moment to swoon over my bias before we move on to the next member."
Raina nods in understanding. "Minsook is my bias."
"Bias?" Honestly I think I worked out the meaning behind it, just from context clues alone, but I am asking so I can be certain.
"Favorite member. There's also the term 'bias wrecker' which simply means the member that tests your loyalty to your favorite member." Carson looks over at Raina. "Minsook is my wrecker, so I definitely get the infatuation."
She grins in response. "He's a lot of Current's wrecker honestly."
"True. Who's your wrecker, Raina?"
"Probably Jiseon, but only because of his sweet vocals and equally sweet face. He's just too adorable."
"I don't know if I would categorize him as 'adorable' any more. The past couple of years he has physically matured so much that there are moments the boy just looks dangerous." He pauses for a second to visualize such a moment I suppose. "In fact, I can definitely see him wrecking me sometime in the future if he becomes more handsome with age."
From my brief glance at the first image I saw and based on their looks alone I really don't know how anyone can pick a single favorite among them. "Are there Currents who claim the whole group as their bias?"
Carson nods. "OT5 is how they refer to themselves. The O and T standing for 'One True'"
I nod. Even if I am not their soulmate I feel like I might end up falling into that particular category. I was definitely enjoying the music I have heard thus far.
Raina starts the video again and a beautiful man with pale skin, soft lips, and doe-like eyes graces the screen. His heart shaped face is perfectly symmetrical, and without being told I know he must be one of the three visuals they were talking about. The text introduces him as Yoo Juah and one of the vocalists as well as, like I guessed, visual of the group.
They show some clips of him singing, and I watch in amazement as he arches his eyebrows to hit some of those higher notes. Then the screen ticks off how much he loves to cook and shows him working behind a stovetop for a vlog or something. When an almost identical version of him comes on camera I gasp in surprise. The only immediate difference between the two I can see is that the other one wears his hair long. The last thing the video mentions is that he tends to act as the mom of the group. Then it shows some scenes where he definitely has 'mom-like' protective moments.
"I guess that explains why there are at least two visuals if there is a set of twins in the group."
The next image is of exactly who I predicted, his twin, Yoo Jaeyeon. Supposedly his stage name is YooJae. "Does anyone even call him that if they know his real name?"
"Sometimes, but not often. He mostly uses it because there is another known idol from the same company named Jaeyeon." Carson explains.
I'm unsurprised by both the words Vocalist and Visual. Apparently, Jaeyeon also enjoys various ball games. Football, which I immediately define as soccer in my head, volleyball, and a game called Jokgu. When I see the last game in action on the screen in front of me I realize it is basically volleyball with a net set up more like tennis, low to the ground, and the players use their head and feet similarly to soccer. If I weren't accident prone I would probably think it looked fun. "Jokgu is also referred to as foot volleyball by the way." Carson informs me, and I can definitely see why.
Raina sucks in a breath as an extremely photogenic young man appears on the screen. I know immediately this must be her bias, and I am proven correct when the name Yi Minsook comes up on screen. He too uses a stage name, Min S.K., but I know I will never call him that myself. Where the twins had almost androgynous faces Minsook's face, much like Gamon's, is angled masculinity due to the wide bridge of his Greek nose and squared off chin. Unlike Gamon though, his skin tone is almost an alabaster hue, or porcelain. If he were any paler I would probably say his skin looked like it was made of marble, and I'm happy to see that he has healthy pink midtones here and there.
My eyes widen as his role in the group comes up. "Rapper, Vocalist, and Main Dancer?!?!"
"Yeah, Minsook is basically the jack of all trades in the group."
I am completely flabbergasted when I watch clips of him doing all three. It's obvious that he excels most at dancing judging by both the hip hop clip I see as well as a contemporary performance they display. But he is definitely no slouch in regards to the other two roles either. In fact it is quite obvious that his voice rounds out the group's overall sound nicely.
I think my jaw hits the floor when it mentions his hobbies as fashion, art, photography, acting, and modeling. Then proceeds to show a clip of him posing for a camera as they click away fashion photos of him for some big designer label no doubt. I notice when he is facing forward that the prominent wide bridge of his nose almost camouflages to appear nonexistent, which might be due to his makeup.
I mentally give myself a second to ponder over the idea of them each wearing makeup. I get it in videos, commercials, and even on stage. But something tells me it is a pretty common occurrence for them to have makeup on almost any time they are out. Thinking that over for a few moments I realize I can understand that too. Most foundations have SPF in them any more, as well as other beneficial ingredients to protect the skin. It's also a confident booster. They are celebrities, and surely they don't have perfect skin all the time. So the makeup hides away the blemishes plaguing their skin and that would improve anyone's mood overall.
The last face that pops up on screen, Ahn Ji Seong. Once I see him I can't help but do a double take at his birthdate, which I didn't really register regarding the other members because I hadn't deemed it as important to know yet. "How is that beautiful baby faced angel only a year younger than me?!?!"
Raina pauses the video quickly before both of them roll over in fits of laughter regarding my response. "That's Jiseong, the maknae, for ya. This is an older picture and I definitely agree he looks at most sixteen or seventeen, but he is indeed actually about nineteen or twenty in this picture. He's now 22, well 23 in Korean age actually. I didn't understand why Koreans' ages are different at first, but then I read somewhere that Koreans consider a year in the womb as counting toward their age and they don't celebrate birthdays like we do either. Well, they celebrate them, but they are usually already considered a year older at that point. Traditionally Koreans gain a year in age the minute it rolls over to a new year."
I nod at the reasoning but also ask what the word, maknae, means. I'm not going to touch the Korean age thing mentally right now. I understood what she said, but there were a lot of conflicting facts for my brain to understand. It would probably be better to go over it more myself later on.
"It's simply a word referring to the youngest member of the group." Raina defines the word for me. "Age order is important in Korean culture as younger people tend to show those older around them more respect."
"You will also tend to hear the members outside of Gamon saying hyung a lot. It's an honorific that simply means older brother." Carson also takes a moment to explain. I can't help but be charmed by the fact that they call each other brother.
"Oh and any of the older members will often attach -ie to the end of the younger members names. So, the one most heard of course is Jiseongie since he is the maknae." Raina thinks to add.
I refocus on the screen with facts about Jiseong written in the column beside his picture. He turns out to be the final visual of the group, but he is also the main vocalist and also an established dancer of the group as well.
As clips of his singing start playing I nod in silent understanding. I definitely see what Raina meant about his voice. Both his face and singing are angelic in quality. As the video goes on the clips show time passing, and toward the end I gasp. "He went from a sweet angel face to a dark dangerous looking angel!"
"It's funny you should say that. I think I read him being referred to as exactly that, 'dark angel', by other fans here and there." Carson adds.
"I think the content creator used an older picture of him first for the shock factor that clip just delivered." Raina reflects out loud.
Then it skips over to his hobbies and it turns out he is also multitalented. His main hobby is learning how to play new instruments, and apparently he is currently proficient at the guitar, piano, and violin. The video shows a few clips of him doing exactly that. According to the Current who made the video he is also learning the saxophone and trombone as well. There aren't any clips to support this statement, but she does include a couple of pictures that must have been posted on Twitter, Instagram, or some other social media platform that I am probably unaware of.
I already feel like I am somewhat invested in the idea of them being my soulmates as the video ends. The problem is that another thing is beginning to worry me if this actually is the case. "How many of them speak English?"
Both Carson's and Raina's eyes become wide and round as they obviously didn't think of that concern themselves. It's Carson that answers. "Only Gamon speaks it proficiently. I think I read Minsook's is getting better, but he isn't quite confident enough to hold a full conversation. Jiseong can speak a little also, but probably only enough to form fractured sentences, and I think he would probably only pick up a word or two when someone was speaking the language to him."
"If they are my soulmates what am I going to do regarding the language barrier?" I immediately find myself morose regarding that concern.
"Don't worry. I will find both a way to get you to Seoul and a way to make sure you understand them if we discover you are in fact their soulmate." Raina states with conviction.
The only thing I know for certain is that statement probably means that she is going to wave her money around. I know I would hate for her to do that for me, but I also don't want my soulmates to practically be a world away from me either.