Mackenzie
The bar was busy tonight, filled with music and loud voices trying a talk over the sound.
I sat in a corner alone, already tipsy from a few drinks I had. Paul was somewhere in here mingling with strangers. Or maybe he knew them since he knew everyone it seemed.
The waitress, I think her name was Layla, came with my next two drinks and placed it on the table. "Thanks."
I emptied the glass in my hand, cringing at the burn and quickly downed one of the new glasses. I wrapped the second one between my hands and stared down at the golden brown liquid.
"Know when to slow down." I heard a voice say over the music.
I lazily looked up to see Layla still there. "What?"
"Cool it with the alcohol." She looked at the glass in my hand while taking the empty ones.
I ignored that and asked, "Where's Thalia?" I hadn't seen the woman in a few days, not at the gym or here.
Layla appeared to be wondering if she heard me right before answering. "She took a few days off."
I nodded and went back to my sulking. This had been my routine all week since Bella left. I'd go to work, kill my body at the gym and then waste my nights here. It wasn't good, I didn't care.
It was an old habit I indulged in before. Drinking, sleeping around, temporary fixes to a permanently broken heart. I hoped and prayed everyday that I was wrong, that my heart wasn't going to feel this pain forever.
It wasn't fair, being in love with someone who I could never have. A happily married woman who never thought of me in that same way. I should've had a say in who I fell for. It wasn't fucking fair.
I emptied the glass in my hand and tested my balance. I wasn't drunk, my intolerance level was high. I walked through the crowd and pulled out my wallet, flipping it open to get some cash. I clumsily waved at whoever saw me first which happened to be a girl I didn't recognize.
After paying and securing my wallet again, I found Paul and grabbed his shoulder. "I'm gonna head home." I yelled over the music.
"Sure? Want me to walk you?" He yelled back.
I shook my head. "I'm good. Get home safe."
"You too, buddy." He gave me a salute and turned back to his friends.
I got to my apartment with no trouble, no drunken thoughts about having the call the damn thing. I did, however, accidentally knock down a vase on top of a console table that sat in the hallway. Luckily it was a plastic vase. I picked it up and fixed the fake flower arrangement before placing it down.
Laughing at my stupidity, I put the key in the door knob, but a voice stopped me from entering.
"Hey, there."
I whipped my head around to see Daphne standing in her opened doorway. "...Hey."
"Fun night?" She casually asked.
I leaned my back to the wall near my door. "Not really. There's nothing fun to do around here."
I eyed the smirk on her lips then. "I can think of a few fun things."
I inhaled, immediately picking up on what she was implying. I slowly scanned her body, biting my lip at the long, toned legs, the tan stomach that portrayed a set of abs and the breasts. She really wasn't wearing much and my tipsy mind was liking everything it saw.
"I wouldn't mind participating in some of them with you." I zeroed in on her lips, following the pink tongue that licked them.
Daphne walked backwards into her apartment. "Come on then."
I clenched my jaw for a moment, aware of the mistake but going ahead anyway. I shut my own door again and went to the practically half naked woman.
My mouth touched hers roughly, not aiming for anything but a release. I gripped her legs and persuaded her to wrap them around my hips. Her arms circled my neck, tongues clashing as we sloppily kissed.
Daphne hissed when I backed her into the wall, my hips pressing into her. "Oh, you're ready to go."
I didn't bother to answer and carried us to the couch I saw a few feet away. With her laying down, I knelt with one knee on the couch while taking my wallet out. I found the condom easily and ripped it open while she undid my pants.
Everything happened with me in a daze. Our clothes were barely off, the condom was on and her legs were opened. Nothing was tender or romantic. It resembled each and every one of my one night stands, nothing but lust.
An hour later, I pulled out of her and she turned around after being on her hands and knees. I sat on the couch and took off the condom, tied it and silently asked for the bin.
I'd only taken off my shirt, my jeans to my thighs. Tugging my jeans and boxers up with my other hand, I discarded the used condom and put my shirt back on over my bra. I hesitantly looked at the woman on the couch who didn't bother to put back on her panties, crop top still on.
"Relax, it was just a fuck." She gave a lazy, satisfied smirk.
I breathed out in relief. "Good. I'm gonna go."
"Good."
I made sure my phone, wallet and keys were on me and I left hurriedly.
~●~
I was running through town at dawn, music blaring through my airpods.
After I went back to my apartment, I showered in hope of ridding the alcohol and regret away. It didn't work, at least not the regret. I'd promised myself to not go back to being that person. The girl who relied on alcohol and sex, but that's who I'd been acting like this past week.
My strong legs pumped harder as I gained speed, my arms steadily moving back and forth. My body was soaked in my own sweat and I could feel my tied hair repeatedly hitting my lower back.
With a rapidly beating heart and gasping breath, I stopped and fell to the grass on my back. I closed my eyes, arms spread and willed the tears to not fall.
I must've stayed laying there for a long time, the music still playing in my ears. It wasn't until I felt someone kick my leg did I bolt up in a sitting position, blinking my eyes to adjust to the figure before me.
Thalia watched me with a frown, her expression curious. She said something but I couldn't hear over the music. I switched it off from my phone in my armband and tilted my head back to see her again.
"What?" I asked.
Her lips slightly tugged upwards for a second. "I said, I thought you were dead."
"Oh. No, not dead." I quietly spoke, taking out the airpods and putting them into my Nike shorts pocket.
"Are you always here this early?" She shivered with the cold morning breeze, hands in the pockets of her oversized jean jacket.
"Sometimes." I mumbled and looked to my left and right, seeing a couple of joggers in the distance. "I see you when I'm here." I added.
She gave an expression that included a scrunched nose and I deemed it cute. "That doesn't sound weird at all." She sarcastically commented.
I smiled a little. "Sorry. I mean, I came to watch the sunrise some mornings and I happened to see you over by that big oak tree. I wanted to say 'hi,' but I figured I bothered you enough so I let you be."
"You do bother me a lot." She mumbled.
I would've felt bad about it, but I noticed the half hearted attempt at a smirk. "It's fun." I shrugged and looked down at my fingers.
"What's wrong with your face?" She suddenly asked.
"Huh?" I looked back up at her, the sun behind her blinding me until she moved and blocked it.
Thalia gestured to her own face. "You look all...pouty. I've never seen you look like that and it's kinda freaking me out."
I jumped up on my feet and frowned, wanting to touch my cheek but I remembered my hands were dirty. "My face is freaky? That's offensive, Thalia." I made sure to smirk to show my teasing.
Her brown eyes rolled and with our proximity I could see the green around her irises. "Your pouty face is freaking me out."
I genuinely smiled for the first time all week. "I missed bothering you this week. Have you been trying harder to avoid my pestering?"
Thalia scoffed, starting to walk at a slow pace and I took the silent invitation. "No. Even I'm not that good at avoidance."
I clicked my tongue and shook my head. "Are you sure? Because I've been trying extremely hard to get a conversation out of you."
"Is this not a conversation?" She side eyed me.
"You know what I mean. You know things about me and I know nothing about you."
"You willingly gave me information that I never asked for." She retorted.
I gasped in mock shock. "In hopes you give back. That's how it works. I give information and you tell me stuff."
She snorted quietly. "Who told you that?"
I grimaced and muttered. "Paul. He did it with me and it worked." I looked down to my left where she walked and noticed her lips pressed tightly together. "Would giving me a smile be so bad?"
She kept her eyes to her white vans. "I walk when I'm not working. I like walking, it relaxes me better than anything else."
I stared at her, she pretended not to notice.
"Thank you." I replied softly at the answer to my question on our first lunch together. "What's your favorite movie?"
"I don't watch tv." She mumbled.
I didn't comment on that and answered with my favorite movie. "I love Underworld. I've always had a crush on Kate Beckinsale."
"Into women?" She easily asked.
"I am." I nervously glanced at her. "And are you...into the...females...the women? Which one of the sexuals are you?" I rubbed my forehead, feeling like an idiot.
She hummed. "I'm just me."
"That's good. Yeah, great." I awkwardly replied.
"Are you okay?" She asked in a hushed voice that almost carried away with the soft breeze.
The unfamiliar tone that I heard from her momentarily left me dumb. "Y-yeah. Yes, I'm good. Just used to the gay thing being an issue with some people and you asked so effortlessly and you haven't accused me of hitting on you yet." I rambled out.
The brunette frowned as we came to a stop at the oak tree. "I don't judge and just because you're gay that means you want to sleep with me?'
I shrugged, not verbally answering.
"I know when someone wants to fuck me, Kenzie." She raised a perfectly done brow. "And you don't want to."
"You're beautiful." I blurted out, only to receive a blank stare. "But I don't- I'm not trying to get into your pants. That's not why I'm trying to talk to you or anything. It's not like I don't like sex or that I don't find you attractive. You're very attractive. And just last night I," I clamped my mouth shut.
Thalia gave me a smile, the polite and fake one she usually gives at the gym. "Calm down. I've had my share of one night stands too."
I fisted my hands at my sides and nodded. "Sorry. I'm out of it right now."
"That's okay."
"How do you know I don't want to sleep with you?" I asked curiously.
The woman sighed and did that pout thing that wasn't a pout. "You want something way more complicated." She took two steps back. "And that isn't good."
I searched my mind for words while she was starting to walk away. "What do I want?!" I called out but Thalia only waved a hand without looking back.
-E