𓃗
Imogen Halstead (age 16)
Word count: 2259
Imogen's POV
Am I invisible? Can anyone see me? Hear me? Am I that ignorable? Am I a even real person? Because it sure as hell feels like I'm living in a dream right now. Maybe my family are playing a trick on me, maybe.
Im currently sat at the top of the landing, my legs dangling over the edge and through the railings. My eyes are locked onto the sight in the living room, where my father and two younger sisters are playing dress up. A small smile finds my lips and I am swept away for a moment, until the jealousy kicks in and I bolt up to my feet, stomping my way over to my room.
How can he cast all of his attention onto Amelia and Sophie, when he hasn't even talked to me today? And it's currently 5pm. I have been to school today, but so have the twins... which means he could be spending time with me too...
Amelia and Sophie are 6, so I understand why he gives them the time and effort, but as childish as it may sound, I'm jealous. Dad used to give me all of his undivided attention before the twins were born, and that was six years ago. Six. He used to take me ice skating on the weekend, and if we couldn't go there we would go see a movie or something. But I never cared what we did together, as long as we were together. Since the twins joined ours lives, my dad has been casting his attention on them, and making sure hailey isn't running around on her last legs.
That's something I'm also jealous about. Amelia and Sophie have a mother, a present mother who loves them very much. They should be grateful. I want that.
As I lay on my bed, I roll over to face the wall. Was it something I've done? Said? Am I boring now? Am I not good enough anymore? My mind beats me up for around half an hour, until I let the darkness take over me.
~
Around a week later, nothing much has changed. In fact, the lack of attention has probably increased. I feel deprived of my dads love. The most interactive thing I've had with him all week was when he asked me if I could babysit the twins whilst he and hailey went out for dinner. Of course I said yes, because no matter how much jealousy I hold over the twins, I still love them with everything I am.
"Immy!" I hear my dad yell my name. What now...? I sigh and clamber out of bed, catching a glimpse of the clock, "yeah?" I run down the stairs, it's 3:35pm? As I approach the lobby I see hailey, my dad and the twins stood with their jackets and shoes on. I furrow my brows in confusion, did I miss something? "The paints still wet in the downstairs bathroom so please be careful. There's money on the table if you fancy a takeaway" my dads busy fumbling around with whatever's in his hands.
I lean on the wall and fold my arms, "why?where are you going?" I enquire. He looks up at me slowly, "just to the new pottery painting place downtown then to the play park, for these two" he nods. I look over at hailey who's trying to zip Sophie's jacket up, "oh" is all i manage to say, tears welling up in my waterlines. My dad eyes me for a second, unsure of whether I have anything else to say, maybe something more expressive than oh. Before I give him the chance to speak to me I turn around and go flop on the couch to watch something on the TV, "we'll be back before 7!" He yells out, yet I'm too busy holding in my tears to respond.
Once I hear the door shut I let my tears spill. They're making plans without me now? Do they not want me anymore? Am I that easily replaced? I wipe my never ending tears away and blankly stare at the TV. Why would they make plans without me? After a mini meltdown session, I wander up the stairs and fall asleep on my bed, feeling rather lost and angry.
~
Jays POV
"Easy, lia..." hailey helps Amelia up the step as I push the front door open. Once we're all inside of the house I'm immediately greeted with a rushed Imogen who's desperate to get out of the front door, "where are you going?" I enquire in confusion. She places an ear bud into her left ear, "for a run" and with that she leaves the house. I look at hailey who's struggling to take Sophie's jacket off because her hands are so frozen, "here" I reach out to help.
Once the twins are occupied and quiet in the living room I enter the kitchen and flick the light on, the first thing I see is the twenty dollar bill I left for Imogen earlier today. With a sigh I grab it and shove it in my pocket, maybe she just wasn't hungry?
~
It's been over an hour since Imogen left the house to go on a run, and I've checked the tracking app on her phone three times, but she doesn't have her phone knocked on anymore... I sigh and close my eyes as the front door opens, almost on cue. With a swift look over my shoulder I notice Imogen already running up the stairs, "how was your run?" I shout after her, yet she doesn't answer and instead heads straight for the bathroom. I look over at my wife who's staring at me in confusion, "is she alright?" She speaks quietly since the twins are sleeping on the ground below us. I slowly shrug, "I don't know" my hand rests on my chin. But I do know. She's not okay.
~
Since neither me or hailey could be bothered cooking dinner today, we're currently ordering a Chinese. We know the twins want rice like they always do, but with Imogen, her orders always a guessing game. So I find myself knocking on her bedroom door before I slowly enter, respecting her privacy. I frown slightly when I see her laying down with her back to me, her phone in her hands. She must've had a shower after her run since her hair is rather damp. She doesn't even turn around to face me, and something in the air tells me she's not too happy about something.
"We're ordering Chinese immy, what're you wanting?" I lean on her desk. She pauses before answering, "m'not hungry" she mumbles tiredly. I shake my head, "you've been on a run, you need to eat. What do you want?" I ask again. She pauses once again, "I had a grilled cheese for lunch" she sighs. I run a hand over my face, "I didn't ask what you had for lunch. I wanna know what you want for dinner" Im getting frustrated. She doesn't answer me this time, "alright, I'll just order you rice and curry then" I wander over to her door. I stop for a second, just to see if she'd say anything, before I leave. What is wrong with that child? "Sorted?" Hailey looked up at me as I sit down, "rice and curry, she's still in a mood" i shake my head.
Once the food arrives, I run upstairs and into Imogen's room, "dinners here" I poke my head around the door. She hasn't moved in half an hour, "I already told you, I'm not hungry..." she mutters from her pillow. I sigh, "what's going on Imogen? You've been like this all day" I fold my arms.
Imogen's POV
Is he for real right now? Why have I been like this all day? He's got to be messing with me, "I don't know" I reply half sarcastically. I can't believe he doesn't know. After a few seconds of silence, I hear him sigh, "if you're gonna be distant, just tell me what's wrong. There's things to be doing Imogen and I don't want these sarcastic answers..." I hear him snap in response. I wipe the tears away, "do you wanna know why I'm being like this?" I scoff a laugh and stand up rapidly. He seems confused by my random outburst of anger, "I have no family anymore" I cry out, folding my arms.
He shoots me a confused glare, "what're you talking about?" He shakes his head and shifts his weight to the other leg. I throw my head back, "you don't notice me anymore! The way I see it, I'm not apart of this family!" The tears roll down my face carelessly. Dad says nothing, he's too confused to give a sensible answer right now, "you're always with Amelia and Sophie, always. I feel like I don't have a family, there is no more us" I sit down on my bed as my dad tries to reach out for me.
"No!" I swat his hand away, "you never spend time with me anymore, we don't talk, we don't do things as a family. Today, you made plans without me! I'm jealous of the twins, dad! I'm jealous..." I sob. Immediately, I feel the bed dip down and a pair of arms securely wrapping around me, "calm down..." he runs his hand over my hair. As much as I want to push him away in anger, I'm comforted by his love, "soph and lia have everything... they have you, your attention, hailey. They have a family. I feel like you don't want me anymore..." I cry into his chest, "I feel invisible" he pulls me closer. By this point, we're laying down and I'm sobbing into his shirt, too upset to let go. Afraid that if I do let go, he'll leave.
"Shhhhh, it's okay. Breathe, immy..." he soothes me with his calm voice which I've missed hearing. My sobs turn into whimpers, then my whimpers turn into sniffles, "the only reason we didn't bring you along today, was because we thought you wouldn't enjoy it. We thought you wouldn't wanna join us because you would feel like you're too old" he brushes his hand over my hair as I lay on his chest. I shake my head, "I would've came, if you asked me... I don't care what it is we do, I just enjoy being with you, and hailey and the twins. I just feel like you've forgotten about me..." I whisper, purely because my throat is sore from crying.
"Hey, the foods going cold..." we both hear hailey from the door way, she seems confused when she sees us, "just leave it on the counter, we'll eat it later" jay nods. Hailey smiles weakly at me before wandering down the stairs again. My dad sighs and tightens his grip on me, "I could never forget about you, honey. Ever. We've just been distracted with the twins starting a new school. We didn't know you felt like this, immy..." he plants a million kisses onto my damp hair. I close my eyes to bite back the next cycle of tears, "why didn't you come to me and tell me?" He looks down at my face so I look up at him, "I thought you wouldn't care" I frown.
A flash of regret, hurt, and worry skims across his eyes, "no baby, no... there will never be a day that I won't care about your feelings, and your worries. You, Imogen, have been my baby since day one. Before everything we know now, you were my world. You are my world, nothings changed. I still love you and care about you just as much as I did six years ago, ten years ago, sixteen years ago... you get what I'm trying to say. But my point is that me and hailey, think the absolute world of you. You're a beautiful, caring, and a mature young lady, and we couldn't be more proud of the person you're turning into" he speaks freely, honestly, and I just listen.
My tears begin to stain his shirt again, "I don't want you to ever feel like this again, ever. I'm sorry you felt this way to begin with immy, I'm really sorry. We're gonna work on managing our time schedule better, and we're gonna make sure you don't feel left out. I'll stop assuming you don't wanna do things because you might feel too old, I promise. I love you so, so much..." he plants a small, yet long, kiss onto my temple and I can feel his own tears drip onto my cheek.
"Can we just stay here for a while?" I cling onto him. He smiles against my forehead, "of course" he relaxes a little more. Food can wait, this can't. He traces his hand up and down my back, and I'm already half asleep from the ticklish feeling, "how about we go ice skating tomorrow? Just me and you, like old times..." he whispers. I let out a small snicker, "only if don't use the penguins again" I smile. He lets out a small laugh, "I can't make any promises" he rests his chin on my head. I'm not sure how much longer we spend laying there, but when I wake up again, we're still laying down but my curtains and door are now closed. I feel like his baby again...