"I'm sorry, I have to go." I apologized to Rindou as I quickly got off his lap.
"Wait!" He called after me but I was already jogging out of the hotel room.
I felt bad for leaving like this, but I had promised Mitsuya we could see each other tonight. And it wasn't my type to break my promises.
After walking out of the hotel, I took a taxi to the place Mitsuya and I had agreed to meet at. It was our secret spot, the café we used to meet at every Wednesday after school.
I arrived there more than 30 minutes late, so when I walked inside, I was convinced Mitsuya would already be gone. But he was there. Sitting at our usual table.
I noticed him before he noticed me. He was absentmindedly poking a piece of cake with his fork, staring off to the side. He was wearing a black turtleneck and a large bomber jacket.
He looked handsome, like always, but also tired. More tired than I had ever seen him. The two dark circles under his eyes bore proof of the sleepless nights he must have spent since I had left our house.
When he finally noticed me, he sat up a little, his eyes lighting up. But when his gaze started travelling down my body, taking in my makeup, black dress and high heels, the beginning of his smile vanished as soon as it had appeared.
"I'm sorry I'm late." I apologized as I took the seat across from him.
"It's okay." He replied, setting his fork onto his plate. He cleared his throat awkwardly, his eyes searching mine. "Were you on a date or something?"
"No." Not really. I mean, I was on a mission where I had to seduce a man to lure him into a hotel room. Not sure it can really count as a 'date'.
"It's for me?" I asked, pointing at the cup of hot chocolate that laid on my side of the table.
"Yeah. But It's probably cold now." Mitsuya replied.
I lowered my gaze to the table. I'm sure it wasn't his intention to make me feel guilty about being late, but his words had that effect nonetheless.
"Should I speak first?" He asked softly.
I looked up at him and nodded once.
He inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know I already said it several times, but I really am sorry. And I have no excuse for hiding the letters so I won't try to give you one." He paused, staring deeply into my eyes. "All I can ask you is if you think you could give me another chance."
"I..." I hesitated, sighing. "I don't know, Mitsuya."
"Please." He breathed out.
He reached over the table to take one my hands in his. I let him intertwine our fingers together and returned his gaze.
"I'm not saying we should get back together right now." He told me. "I understand if you need some time and space, and I'll give you as much time and space as you need. But do you think we could still continue to see each other at least?"
I caught my bottom lip between my teeth, thinking his offer over.
I was torn between accepting and refusing for a multitude of reasons. My anger being one of them. Rindou being another one. And my very recent affiliation to Bonten being the biggest one. How will I be able to keep this huge secret from Mitsuya? He was my confident, the person I usually told everything to.
Mitsuya gave my hand a light squeeze, pulling me from my thoughts.
"I'll do everything I can to win you back. Everything to remind you why you wanted to marry me." He vowed.
A few seconds passed, then I agreed. "Okay."
-------------------------------
That same night, I moved into Bonten's hideout.
Mitsuya had offered to leave our house to me, but I refused. If I was going to help Mikey, I was going to need to be as close to him as possible. Living under the same roof as him was a good start.
I lied to Draken and told him I was moving in with Hina. But the truth was, Draken had already done so much for me, I just didn't want him to worry about me more than he already had.
Sanzu opened the door for me. Carrying my travel bag, I followed him up the stairs that led to the first floor.
"You can take that room." He told me as he opened one of the doors on the left side of the hallway.
I walked in, put my travel bag on the double bed and stood looking around for a moment. The only window was small, the walls were bare, and the desk in the corner was wooden and old. It looked kind of sad, lifeless. I couldn't wait to decorate the room so it would feel more like home.
"It's next to Ran and Rindou's rooms." Sanzu informed me behind my back.
Good. It was reassuring to know that these two would be close. The only thing I was worried about was that I might encounter another girl Rindou would bring home. Another girl who would call him daddy-
"Hey." Sanzu tried to catch my attention again.
I turned to him. He was now leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. "I'll tell our boss you joined during our meeting tomorrow."
I nodded, my thoughts drifting to my ex again.
This is who I'm doing this for, I reminded myself. If I help him, I'll stop having nightmares about his death, and I'll be able to go back to my normal life.
"Mikey..." His name slipped past my lips in a whisper, but when I realized my mistake, I slapped a hand over my mouth. I wasn't supposed to know Mikey was the boss of Bonten. Not yet.
My gaze darted to Sanzu who sighed, irritated.
"Of fucking course. I should have known you weren't sleeping in the car." He gritted, referring to the night him and Mikey had driven me back to Draken's house. The night I discovered Mikey was the leader of Bonten.
"Well," He ran a hand over his face, letting out another sigh. "Try to make yourself small as long as I haven't broken the news to him, got it?"
I nodded once. "Got it."
He pushed off the door and turned to walk away, but then he paused and turned to face me again. "One more thing : you stay away from the last floor." He warned. "Mikey and I are the only two people to live up there."
His expression had turned so serious so fast that I couldn't resist the urge to tease him.
I grinned. "Aw, what a cute couple you two must make."
His jaw ticked.
His gaze darkened.
In a few quick steps, he closed the distance between us. I gasped when he wrapped a hand around my throat and pressed me against the wall.
"I got one last advice for you, princess." He stared down at me, his eyes slightly narrowing. "Watch. Your. Fucking. Mouth." He punctuated his order by tightening his grip around my throat a little more with each word.
I turned my head away from him, my eyes falling closed as my intake of oxygen dangerously diminished.
"Ran and Rindou might be wrapped around your little finger, but I'm not." Sanzu breathed out, his breath fanning my cheek.
He finally let go of me and took a step back. I glared at him while raising a hand to rub my sore neck.
Different emotions passed through Sanzu's gaze while we stared at each other: disgust, anger, confusion and then... curiosity. My brows knitted together as his expression turned distant. He was still looking at me but it felt like he wasn't really seeing me, too lost in his own thoughts.
"Why is he still so hung up on you..." He murmured to himself. "You're beautiful, but he's had countless beautiful women throwing themselves at his feet... So why does he always talk about you, think about you, dream about you..."
He reached up and brushed the side of my cheek with the back of his hand.
"Why will it always be you for him..." He whispered.
"You should ask Rindou that." I rasped, my throat still tight from the pressure Sanzu had applied on it.
My voice seemed to snap him out of his daze. The dark cloud slowly dissipated from his eyes, and he looked at me. Really looked at me this time.
He slowly dropped his hand back to his side and took a step back, clearing his throat.
"I wasn't talking about Rindou." He mumbled under his breath before strutting out of my bedroom.
-------------
I spent the rest of the night cleaning my room and decorating it. I fell asleep a few hours later, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I had a nightmare. It was always the same one.
Mikey, jumping off a building. And me, trying to save him.
My nightmare always ended before I could know how it all ended, though.
It was midnight when I got out of bed and walked out of my bedroom to go grab a glass of water.
Rindou was sitting on one of the sofas in the main living room, his legs spread apart. He was wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a large white T-shirt.
Smoke was trailing from the butt of the cigarette that hung from his mouth.
His left arm was stretched across the back of the sofa, and in his right hand, he was holding a book. I couldn't see the title of the book from where I was, but I noticed the tiny smile Rindou's lips held, the way his eyes were eagerly moving across the pages as he read.
A pair of glasses was perched on the bridge of his nose. I don't think I had seen him wear glasses since high school, but god, like this, he was easily the most adorable thing I had ever seen.
He looked peaceful. So peaceful that I almost turned on my heels and went back to my room to avoid breaking his bubble. But I walked in.
When he noticed me, he sat up a little bit. Then he leaned forward to ground his cigarette into the ashtray that laid on the coffee table in front of him, most likely because he remembered I hated cigarettes since my mother had died from lung cancer. I smiled softly at the considerate gesture and watched him push his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he leaned back into the sofa again, his eyes now locked on me.
I could almost feel his gaze burn a trail on every inch of my body as I walked past him and entered the open kitchen to grab a glass of water. While drinking, I glanced over my shoulder at Rindou and caught him staring. He quickly dropped his gaze to his book, pretending he hadn't been looking. I fought a grin as I set my glass on the counter.
I strolled out of the open kitchen and leaned my back against the wall, facing the sofa Rindou was sitting on.
"So you already moved in." He noticed, still reading his book - or pretending like he was.
I hummed in response. "Can't sleep?" I asked.
"No."
He set his book aside and took off his glasses. I watched him while he dragged a thumb across his jawline, visibly thinking about something.
"Why did you run off earlier?" He finally asked, his gaze flicking to mine.
I exhaled, keeping his stare. "I had to meet up with someone."
"With who?"
The way he tensed led me to believe he already knew 'who', but I still answered, "With Mitsuya-"
I stayed still when he suddenly rose to his feet. Our eyes stayed connected as he walked the short steps to me. He reached down, took my left hand and quickly raised it between us so he could look at it under moonlight streaming through the window. I peeked up at him while he seemed to be frantically searching for something.
"You're not wearing his ring." He murmured. His shoulders slumped in relief at the realization. His eyes slowly came up to mine. "You didn't get back together with him, did you?"
"No," I gave my head a small shake, dropping my left hand back to my side. "We decided it was better if we spend some time apart for the moment and-"
Rindou held my face between in his hands and leaned down to press his lips against mine, cutting me off. He rubbed his thumb against my cheeks while he slipped his tongue into my mouth and pulled my bottom lip between his teeth.
"He's an idiot." He panted against my lips. " He'll never get you back. I'll never let him get you back."
My stomach fluttered as he kissed me again.
So many things had happened today. I got fired, discovered that Mikey had assaulted my boss, had my first mission as a member of Bonten and had a serious talk with Mitsuya,... And now, Rindou was kissing me. I felt overwhelmed.
I braced my palms against Rindou's chest and dipped my chin, avoiding his gaze. "Rin-"
"No." He interrupted me softly. "You've tested my patience enough for today."
He bent down and hooked one arm behind my knees to lift me up. I stared at his side-profile while he carried me bridal style out of the room and down the dark hallway.
He paused in front of his bedroom door and let his eyes travel over my face. "I let two other men spend time with you tonight, so let me be the one you'll fall asleep next to."
I didn't have the energy to protest, nor the desire to do so. I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled him. He smelled so good.
"Okay." I agreed, my lips moving against the side of his neck.
My eyes were already starting to fall shut when he pushed his bedroom door open.
"Ran." The low groan came deep from within Rindou's throat. "Fucking hell."
I opened my eyes again and looked up at Rindou. Following his line of sight, I glanced at his bed where his older brother was laying on his back, clearly asleep. That took me back to the night Rindou had let me sleep in his bed and Ran had joined us, not wanting to be left out.
"He hasn't stopped doing that, huh?" I asked Rindou, quietly chuckling as I looked back at him.
He shook his head no and gently put me down. He reached a hand towards his brother, probably to wake him up, but I grabbed his arm before he could.
"He looks tired." I whispered. "You should just let him sleep."
Rindou looked back at me, then nodded once in agreement.
He lifted the cover and gestured for me to lay down first. Once I was laying on my side next to Ran, Rindou slid under the cover and also laid on his side so that we were facing each other. Without hesitating, he wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me against him. But as if being this close wasn't close enough, he intertwined his legs with mine while keeping my head pressed to his chest and stroking the back of my hair.
I fell asleep to the regular motion of his hand caressing the back of my hair, and a few hours later, I woke up to that same sensation. Still half-asleep, I smiled and nuzzled my face into the crook of Rindou's neck, but the body I was laying against felt different than last night.
My eyes popped open, meeting Ran's amused ones.
"Good morning, beautiful." He grinned, still stroking the back of my hair.
"You're not Rindou." I grunted.
"No, I'm not. I'm the much hotter and smarter version of him.-"
"And much more humble." I muttered sarcastically.
Ran chuckled. "Rindou had to leave for a mission." He informed me.
Indeed, when I rolled around, I saw that Rindou wasn't in bed anymore. I tried to slide my legs over the edge of the bed to leave but Ran wrapped an arm around my waist and drew my body back against his, pressing his chest against my back.
"If you don't have anything to do today, we could just stay here for a few more hours. What do you say?" He whispered the offer in my ear.
I snorted and glanced over my shoulder at him.
"Tempting, but I do have something to do today."
Actually, I have several very important things to do today...