Chapter 19: You from afar
The last two weeks of school are not quick or slow. It's just the right amount of saying goodbye and all the fun. Finals are coming, and they're important for some students. It's their last chance to get their high score in order to get into the university they or their parents dream of.
As for Jungkook, the finals are not that important, but the score would make his transcript prettier, so he studies as hard as he can. Busy. Jungkook has been keeping himself so busy as if working super hard on the exam would distract himself from thinking. Thinking of Jimin. Looking for Jimin.
"So, how's the finals going for you?" Taehyung rests his hand on his chin, staring at Jungkook who's studying. They're in a canteen.
"It's alright. I got it, but I need to make sure I don't miss anything." Jungkook replies vaguely, not bothering to look up at Taehyung.
"Me and Jimin are going for yakiniku after all the exams are done. You should come." Taehyung is not a nine year old kid who's possessive over his soulmate. He can share friends. Unlike Jungkook, he thinks it would be nice that they spend time together since Jungkook is also one of his closest friends too.
"Stop mentioning Jimin to squeeze the truth out of me. I have nothing to tell you." Jungkook gives Taehyung a glare.
"I'm your friend too, remember? You guys are my friend, and I don't even know how long I can stand this awkward situation." Taehyung raises his voice. "At least, tell me that it's one of your regular fights, and you guys will make up soon."
"I don't know. I don't have an answer for that." Jungkook's chest tenses up at the sentences. Jimin didn't tell him how long he needs. Jimin didn't promise anything or confirm that they will be friends again. Jungkook sleeps with the harsh fact every night while staring at his phone waiting for Jimin to hit him up. Night after night, Jungkook gets more scared. Fear has been taking over himself since even they fought.
Jimin's words are still in his mind to reflect again and again at how Jimin has been feeling. His terrible selfish actions are the reason why he's been loathing himself so badly. It hurts him to know that he hurt his best friend. It hurts him more that he thought he was a good friend for Jimin. If he can go back, he would listen to all the stupid things Jimin has to vent. He would hug Jimin as much as Jimin wants. It hurts him the most living in the moment where he doesn't even know if he'd get to make up for Jimin or Jimin would want to be his friend again.
"Ah, finally. There he is. JIMIN!" Taehyung shouts at Jimin who's not looking their way. It seems in Jungkook's eyes that Jimin is ignoring on purpose, and the reason is him. "PARK JIMIN! WE'RE HERE."
Jungkook frowns in irritation. Does Taehyung need to shout? The boy still shouts, ignoring his glare.
Taehyung waves with his two hands, and Jimin finally turns around as he shakes his head. He walks to the table just because people start looking at him Jimin, signaling that he's being called loudly. He only locks his gaze on Taehyung, acting like Jungkook doesn't even exist there.
"Did you have to shout?" Jimin complains at Taehyung who's smiling cheekily.
"How was the exam? I thought you'd leave earlier. Since when Park Jimin stays until the end of his exam?" Taehyung says as he pulls Jimin down to sit beside him, but Jimin keeps standing.
"Since mr. Hong wouldn't let us go until after 30 minutes. I fell asleep after I wrote down my name, and woke up when it was over." It's common for Jimin to just sleep on exam papers. "Sorry I made you wait." Jimin chuckles.
Something has changed. Jimin would stutter about himself not even trying to fill any answers on the exam paper. Jimin would always change topics, but this time, Jungkook is not sensing guilt from Jimin who always gets complained by him. Now that cute face smiles lightly with a firm and less apologetic tone.
"Oh don't worry. Jungkook has been keeping me company. I also asked him to join us for yakiniku on Friday." Taehyung informs, glancing at Jungkook who looks up.
And then Jimin's eyes meet Jungkook's ones. Can't help. Need to look. Jimin gulps before he shifts his gaze after seconds of eye-contact. "Uhm I'm going to... to..." Jimin can't really think of any excuses to get away from here now.
"To get something to eat?" Taehyung asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Ah yes, but I'm gonna go eat outside by the football field." Jimin utters.
"Why?"
"Because the weather is nice today." Jimin explains.
"It's like a burning hell outside. What are you talking about?" Taehyung frowns.
"Are you coming or not? If not then I'll see you later." Jimin is about to turn his body around, but Taehyung grabs his wrist.
"Hey Jiminie, you hate sweating. I hate sweating. Let's not go outside, please."
"That's why I said I'll go by myself and see you la-"
"I'll go sit at the other table." Jungkook speaks for the first time in minutes. He looks at Jimin who's staring back at him with a cold expression. For some reason, Jungkook feels a pang in his chest. He never got that look from Jimin.
"Why would you do that?" Taehyung asks, confusingly as he turns his head to Jimin who's finally sitting down at the table.
"I'll see you later." Jungkook tells Taehyung as he glances a little at Jimin before he walks to the other table behind his two friends, so he's out of Jimin's sight. That's what Jimin needs right now.
Jimin is Jimin. Still kind and doesn't have the heart to tell Jungkook to go away. Still the same Jimin who'd rather remove himself from an uncomfortable situation that's not even caused by himself. Jungkook is still the same Jungkook who reads Jimin's mind like an open book. That's why he did Jimin a favor by sitting somewhere else alone.
The table he's at is only several tables behind that one Jimin and Taehyung are sitting, and not once does Jimin turn his head behind. Jimin wouldn't know that he's still in Jungkook's sight from afar.
Putting his backpack on the table, he also makes sure you spread his book around the table enough just so no one bothers him at the table. Some girls on the cheerleading team gave me confession letters. Seems like they need to take their chance with Jungkook before he's graduated, but Jungkook turned down all of them including that girl Jungkook kissed at the party in front of Park Jimin. He doesn't even remember her name. She's cute, but he's not in the mood, and Jungkook doesn't think they're compatible.
Speaking of the devil, Jungkook sees the girl walking his way. The girl is about to walk past Jimin's table. Is Jungkook seeing things or the girl actually smirks at Jimin, not in a friendly way? Jungkook keeps eyes on her because being kicked out from Jimin's space doesn't mean he will stop protecting his tiny best friend.
She flips her hair with that same smirk. She then blows Jimin a kiss before she rubs her lips gently. Maybe Jimin's reaction that day at the party was enough for her to notice that Jimin has feelings for Jungkook, and that's why she's trying to do her 'winning' act to Jimin. From behind, Jungkook knows Jimin is totally meeting eyes with her.
So mean and such an attention seeker. Jungkook grits his teeth. Not long after, Jungkook also meets eyes with her. She walks toward Jungkook's table, smiling cutely. It seems like she doesn't notice Jungkook saw everything.
"Hey. Can I join you?" She doesn't wait for an answer. The girl sits at the opposite side, staring at Jungkook seductively.
"No." Jungkook replies, not even looking up at her. "I'm busy."
"Yeri. I already told you I'm Yeri."
"Can I please have some alone time?" Jungkook asks with his face being obviously irritated. He's making it clear he doesn't want her presence.
"Ouch! What the hell?!" Yeri screams with her high pitched voice.
Jungkook didn't see this coming. Ever. It's Park Jimin who just crashes his body on Yeri's shoulder and head, causing her head to hit Jungkook's thick textbook that's lying peacefully on the table.
"Jimin-ah"
"Why did you do that?!" Yeri asks with a frown as she gets up. It feels like she's so ready to jump at Jimin, but Taehyung steps forward, crossing his arms.
"Sorry. I didn't see you. Does it hurt?" Jimin raises his eyebrows, smirking lightly at Yeri.
"Of course it hurts. Why did you do that?" Yeri raises her voice, rubbing her forehead. "Oh I know why. You're still jealous of me getting to kiss your best friend?"
"Hey! Shut your mouth." Jungkook raises his voice suddenly.
"Think of it as the way I help you hammer something into your empty brain. It needs something more useful other than your lame seductive plans." Jimin chuckles as he rolls his eyes. "And you got to kiss him only once. Why would I be jealous?"
"Because you have a hopeless crush on your best friend. Is that enough reason for you to be jealous? You didn't even apologize for pouring pina colada on me that day."
Jimin glances at Jungkook quickly. It's more like a glare. "I'm sorry. I meant for it to be on Jungkook only, but he was above you, so..." Jimin shrugs at Yeri. The girl is about to open her mouth, but Jimin doesn't allow that when he turns his face to Jungkook. "Take care of your girl. If she messes with me again, I promise you, I won't let it go."
"She's not my girl." Jungkook utters.
"I'll make sure the principal knows what you did to me." Yeri grits her teeth.
"Yes. Please hurry because I'm graduating soon. And listen to me." Jimin grabs both of Yeri's shoulders and looks into her eyes. "Don't ever ever blow a kiss and lick your lips like that again. It's a total turn off I swear." Jimin then grabs both of her cheeks before he softly says. "If you ever need advice when you finally succeed in luring Jungkook into your bed, hit me up. I would know best about what he likes to do in bed." Jimin smirks as he removes his hands from her, realizing the volume he speaks can be heard by others around them. "Oh, and one more thing though, Jungkook wouldn't like those thin lips of yours. He needs more of something to lick and suck onto." Jimin then licks his bottom lip. He wipes it with his thumbs as he chuckles before he walks away, leaving Yeri to process his words, and Jungkook being dumbfounded.
That was...
cute... and hot...
Childish but hot. Jungkook knows. Always knew there's that sassy and intimidating Park Jimin somewhere in there, but that side disappeared years ago. Jimin just implied that they have some sort of sexual relationship, and he didn't even try to keep it low either. Jungkook looks at people around him, and from their look, the rumor is going to spread like wildfire.
A chuckle is let out from Jungkook. Even Jungkook himself didn't know how he's so entertained by the scene. Of course, so childish. Jungkook thinks he is crazy for thinking what Jimin did was so... cute? sexy?
Jungkook doesn't even realize Yeri has already left since she's not his focus at all. He only looks down on the table, trying to control his smile and laugh. What's wrong with him?
Putting all the books back in his backpack, the pair of big doe eyes follows his tiny best friend who's laughing with Taehyung. That bright smile. Small crescent eyes become smaller when Jimin smiles so wildly.
Park Jimin from afar.
Park Jimin and his sassy rebellious self. Jungkook almost feels like it's the first time he really sees Jimin clearly. How Jimin has fully grown into someone Jungkook is not sure he has seen. Was he too close to Jimin to miss that cute smirk when Jimin got complained by their teacher for being late to class. How Jimin talks back sassy and funny when he was punished for talking too much in class. The way Jimin walks. The way he talks. The way Jimin tries extremely hard to hold his laughs when he sticks nasty notes at the back of one of the classmates. That cheeky smile when he got away eating a snack under his table.
So beautiful from a distance.
That Jimin's scent of Dior Sakura becomes a lot sweeter from just two seats away. It makes Jungkook think. He has been complaining about Jimin so much that he missed all those things about Park Jimin. That he forgot to admire all things Park Jimin. Savage, cute, funny and sassy, adorable and even lovable. The things about Jimin that people admire. Things Jungkook always had all the advantages to see up close. So close that he forgot to value. Only today Jungkook understands.
From only meters away, Jimin feels free. At least that's how Jungkook feels. No sign of guilt when breaking the rules or puppy eyes at Jungkook when he's in trouble. Only giggling carelessly when he got detention for sticking the duck tape on every toilet bowl of the canteen bathroom. No more bowing and keeping his face down silently. Only eyes rolling when their math teacher would call Jimin lazy. It makes Jungkook see clearly. It makes Jungkook doubt.
Jimin has been suppressing who he is because of him?
Park Jimin from afar is the real Jimin who feels nothing wrong about getting several C in his grades. It's Jimin who can pick a random pen from the floor to take notes on a random piece of paper just fine. He doesn't need fancy stationeries or a new notebook. It's Jimin who just wants to embrace his moments, have fun and laugh as much as he can.
It's also the same Park Jimin who's no longer sitting in his front seat, so Jungkook can drop him home. Park Jimin carries his own heavy backpack alright. Jimin can survive without him. He can get his food just fine. He drives home safely by himself. He can take care of himself.
From afar, Jimin survives without Jungkook.
Little did Jungkook know. From afar, someone's heart keeps on breaking. Little did he know. From afar, someone dies many times, every day.
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"Of course not!"
"Oh Jimin, come on. I'm your friend too. I'm even your soulmate." Taehyung says with a frown. They're on their way back to Jimin's home.
"You're my soulmate, so you need to understand the most when I don't want to talk about something. Can you leave that thing alone?" Jimin says as his eyes focus on the road in front of him.
"Jungkook is my friend too, and we three have to spend more time together before we part. We're leaving in a few days for god sake Jimin. Make up with your best friend already." Taehyung crosses his arms.
"Yeah, I know. You can't live without it. You should go and spend more time with Jungkook then. Me and you, we have tons of time to spend together in the US."
"But what about you? I miss Jungkook's grumpy possessive jealous best friend act. You know how that entertains me so much. How am I supposed to enjoy that without your presence? Do you need to make it hard? Cut your egos Jimin."
Silently takes over the car. Jimin lets out a sigh. "It's not ego this time Tae. I'm not sure if things are going to be the same."
"My god. It has to be serious. This is not one of those stupid fights? Did he hurt you? What did that jerk do this time?"
"I really need time. Please understand. I'll tell you everything when I'm ready." Jimin utters quietly as he feels tears building up. He can't talk about it. Not right now. "Uhm, and you should text Jungkook to hang out today. I want to cancel our plan anyways. I'm so sleepy."
"Ah please tell me I'm still important." Taehyung rolls his eyes. "I'm not an object you can move around, you know?" He chuckles as he texts Jungkook which is surprising that Jungkook replies so quickly. "I guess I'm playing video games with him tonight. Can you drop me off close to your house?"
"I can drop you off at the mall. I need to get something there."
"As you wish my price." Taehyung says in a sarcastic tone. He lets out a smile while looking outside the window. "What are you getting at the mall?"
Creed Aventus, Jungkook's perfume.
Jeon Jungkook from afar.
Every inch of Jimin calls for him. Jungkook lives in his head and follows him everywhere mentally. Jimin has been keeping himself busy by breaking rules, getting punished and having fun with senior pranks.
Nobody has to know that driving reminds him that Jungkook is no longer dropping him home. No more nonsense talk on the ride. Every bite of his food reminds him that there's no more Jungkook who'd make him eat breakfast. No more extra pens or a new set of fancy stationery. He misses it all. Jimin even misses those pair of judging big doe eyes when he gets scolded by the teachers. Even those things he hates Jungkook doing like how Jungkook would always roll his eyes when Jimin drops food on his shirt while eating.
But it's time he grows into himself fully and stops caring about Jungkook's opinion. It's time for Park Jimin to become a proud Park Jimin even with bad grades and detentions. With childish acts and immature behavior, Jimin will embrace all his flaws. Jimin needs time to let go of Jungkook's energy that's been taking over him. It's no one's fault. He knows these things happen.
Life goes on, and Jimin has to move himself along no matter how hard it has been to not glance at Jungkook during class. How extremely hard it is to look away when Jungkook scores as usual on the football field. In order to move on a little bit further, Jimin will do all it's taking to pretend that he doesn't hear anything about girls lining up with their love confession towards Jungkook. He will use all the strength he has to sit still and not run out to find out who those girls are, and if Jungkook accepted anyone's love for him.
Jeon Jungkook from afar is torturing, and Jimin has to survive. No. He won't dial Jungkook's number and give everything up just to get one hug from Jungkook. He will tie his hands and drown his phone if he needs to. Therefore, Jungkook's scent of Creed Aventus is enough for now. Enough for Jimin to survive. To let himself sleep with that comforting scent.
'Seeing 'you' from afar is not what I've ever prepared to do.'
'I never imagined what it's like to see you from a distance.'
'I never knew we'd stay away from each other for more than two days.'
'It was sudden.'
'Us not talking for this long? I didn't expect this.'
'No more us.'
'No more you.'
'No more car and ice cream sex?'
'No more harry potter and iron man sex?'
'Will you smack their ass as the punishment for leaving scratches on your back like you did to me?'
'Will you straddle them and call them dirty muggle too? You'll have your new muggle right?'
'Please don't wear your iron man gloves with them.'
'Please don't wear those yellow shorts with anyone else.'
'Please come back and be by my side.'
'Please don't date someone so quickly. It'd break me.'
'I miss you.'
'I miss you. It hurts.'
'Please don't leave.'
'I need to leave.'
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End of chapter
A/N: Don't want to sound cocky, but I kinda like this chapter.
What about you?