Wayne Tower, September 27th
Bruce finally managed to get Tim alone. It wasn't ideal but Tim didn't leave him much of a choice. After the incident with fear toxin in July, Tim was avoiding Bruce even more so than after the confrontation. Bruce made a terrible mistake when he marched to war on Jason that night and he was living with the consequences. He had believed, they all had, for months that Jason was probably dead, until Diana finally confirmed Jason's living status on August 16th. Bruce was relieved that his son was alive, but the weight of the guilt and shame of what he had done didn't ease up. He had hurt his son to the point of stopping his heart, which resulted in everyone who's ever donned the bat-symbol to turn their backs on him. He deserved it. He deserved all of it. He had hoped that the truth of Jason's living status would change some things in his life, he was hoping Tim would stop looking at him, when he did look at him, like he looked at the j..
"Tim," Bruce closed the door after the last board member and stopped Tim from leaving, "please."
"What do you want?" Tim asked uninterested and unimpressed.
"I want to talk about what happened in Robinson Park," Bruce watched Tim throw his files on the conference table and cross his arms around his chest, "and you've been avoiding me for months."
"Given everything that happened, I think I'm allowed to," Tim cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side.
"I know you see me as your enemy-"
"I used to worship you," Tim cuts off whatever speech Bruce has prepared, "you know? First it was Batman and Robin, but then it was you, Bruce. In my book, you could do no wrong. When I lost you, I lost everything, I nearly lost my mind, I lost my spl- I lost everything. My world crumbled when you 'died'. It kept going downhill, my best friends had seemingly died too, Dick took Robin from me, Damian was at my throat and Jason had already tried to kill me a couple of times."
"I know."
"No, you don't, you were everything," Tim shook his head, "and you were good. Sure people disagree, sure people fight, but when that happens they remain true to themselves to a certain extent. See, at first I thought that it was because Selina left you, not that it's a valid reason, but at least it's not just out of nowhere, it was somewhat a reason. But, Ethiopia? The things you said to him? That's just pure hatred-"
"That's not fair-"
"No, I know, it was for Damian, you were grieving. I GET IT! I think I'm the only one who does. I'm the one who had to snap you out of it the first time, or have you forgotten?" Tim snapped at him, "it was wrong, it was hurtful, it wasn't fair. No, no, you took him there merely weeks after the Joker face thing. Grief makes you do unthinkable things, but I know for a fact that you never even apologized for what you've done and said. Jesus Bruce, did you hear what you told him? So yes, I used to worship you. I used to believe you could do no wrong. I let this blind me for too long, so yes, my worst fear is you killing one of us, specifically Jason, because even though he might be alive, you did it. You killed him and I didn't do anything to stop you. I hate you for it and I hate that I don't really hate you."
Bruce walked up to Tim but kept some distance between them. Tim never expressed his feelings openly, he was the most like Bruce when it came to it, so hearing him pouring his heart out this way was somewhere between unsettling and terrifyingly pure.
"I've always known you were capable of many things," Tim's breath hitched a bit, he tried to control his emotions, but he'd been repressing everything for too long, "but this was not one of them. You did it once, who's to say you won't do it again? You were everything and then you were this, this, this thing I can't even describe because it's not you! You don't have the right to become that person. You don't have the right to destroy who you were because you were angry! You don't have the right to mistreat your son, who's been through so much more than any of us will ever understand," he wiped his tears with his hand, "do you know how many times he nearly died to save me? All to make up for when he was pit crazy? Do you have any idea how many times I caught him following me during patrol when I'm in the city just to have my back? Do you know how many times he's apologized to me? I saw you when you lost him. He was my hero, he was my Robin but he was your son and I saw you when he died. I just can't wrap my head around it, even after all these months, I just can't process anything. All that's in my mind is; Batman killed his son. I can't, I just can't stop thinking about it. I can barely look at you for too long, because if I do, then it becomes real, that's it, no going back."
That's when Bruce noticed that Tim wasn't looking at him, Tim's eyes were fixed on a point on the wall.
"You were everything and then you did something horrific to someone who needed you to help them that night," Tim let out a ragged breath, "he needed you, his dad, and instead of helping him you destroyed him. So yes, I am angry, but I'm also terrified of you and I hate you for making me feel this way."
"Tim," Bruce whispered to try to hide the pain in his voice, he held his hand up to reach his son but couldn't bring himself to cross into Tim's space.
"I want us to come back from this, I do," Tim took a step back and wiped his tears again, "I know you're trying. I know you're seeing Harley, I see you with Damian and Dick. Cass came back and stayed, she wouldn't have stayed if you weren't worth saving. I just don't think I can be part of the people who save you this time, at least not now. I want my dad back, but I'm not sure how ready I am to help you get back there. I can't be the light to your darkness anymore. I'm too tired to be your emotional support when it's supposed to be the other way around."
"You're right," Bruce nodded, "would you allow me to hug you?"
Tim wants to say no, he really does. He just nods and moments later he's engulfed in Bruce's embrace. It used to scream safety, it used to scream love and family, all it's doing now is just begging for forgiveness that it doesn't deserve yet.
"I'm so sorry," Bruce whispers in Tim's hair, his hold on his son tight and firm, "I'm so sorry I let you down, I'm so sorry."
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," Tim mumbled against Bruce's shoulder.
"You are, one of many, but I will find him, I will bring him home and I will make this right, I promise."
"No, you will find him and apologize, whether he comes home or not is his choice, whether he forgives you or not is his choice," Tim pulled back and looked Bruce dead in the eyes, "his choice."
"His choice," Bruce nodded.
"How long will you be gone this time?"
"A week, maybe more, is everything alright?"
"All's fine," Tim pulled back completely and reached for his files, "don't worry about it."
"I'll always worry," Bruce said with a small smile that was surprisingly reciprocated.
"How come you haven't found him yet?" Tim knew how, when Jason wanted to disappear no one could find him, but this was different. Jason had a whole flock of birds protecting his whereabouts, not to mention the assassins. I have to check why there are so many assassins, sure Talia wants Jason and Harper's safety but they are too many.
"He's always been good at disappearing," Bruce answered, clearly frustrated, "and honestly?"
"What?"
"I'm terrified of finding him," Bruce admitted for the first time, "I'm terrified. He can't forgive me, he shouldn't. I don't deserve it and I know it."
"Damian forgave Talia for her involvement with Leviathan, she didn't give the order but-"
"That's what I'm afraid of, what if he does forgive me? He shouldn't forgive me-"
"Don't make this about your martyr complex, this is about your relationship with him, if he does forgive you, it would be his choice," Tim already knew the answers, but he wasn't going to give them to Bruce, as much as he wanted the answers to be different Deep down, Tim wanted his family whole again, "his choice."
"His choice," Bruce repeated.
Jason's safe-house, September 30th
"ROY! This is so fu-freaking cute!" Jason exclaimed.
"I know right?" Roy grinned through the screen.
"I was never one for Halloween, but dude! This is adorable," Jason kept fumbling with the costume Roy sent for Harper, "and after the whole katana wielding ballerina fiasco I just didn't want to think about her wearing costumes but this is adorable."
"And it's neutral, you know? Not a superhero, not a villain, just Halloween!"
"I can't wait for her to wake up and try it on!"
"How long has she been asleep?"
"2 hours, I should wake her, but I really hate waking her," Jason sighed and went into the nursery, then ran back to switch the call from his laptop to his phone, "keep it down and just look."
"That's the kitten!"
"Yeah," Jason stared at Damian the cat snuggled up to Harper as they both slept peacefully, "look she has her tiny arm around it too!"
"I hate that I'm missing so much," Roy sighed.
"You can always come, I can keep you in line," Jason suggested, "I mean, I did for a while, didn't I?"
"Jaybird, I want to be in the best mindset before I come, I don't want to risk any sort of relapse or whatever, you guys are too important for that."
"Sap," Jason snorted and reached inside the crib to pick up his baby, "come Harper, it's time to wake up, we're going on a walk later."
"Really? Is that the wisest course of action?"
"Why the hell not?" Jason held Harper up to his shoulder, "hello baby."
"Hehh," Harper sighed sleepily and snuggled up to Jason's neck.
"Maybe because the Bat is actively looking for you? With Oracle's help..."
"Diana is on my side, don't forget that," Jason kissed Harper's forehead, "did you have a good nap Harper?"
"Good morning your majesty," Roy cooed from the phone, "you're going to try on your Halloween costume."
"Yeah she is," Jason grinned when Harper turned her head towards Roy's voice, "she's looking for you!"
"I promise Jaybird, I'll be there for Halloween! I swear to everything!"
"I maintain what I said, you can come earlier and I'll be your sponsor," Jason smiled when Harper grabbed his collar.
"I know, I know, but I'm taking her trick or treating!"
"Sure, we'll do that and Talia will have your head," Jason laughed.
"Ahhh," Harper yawned loudly and dramatically.
"Meow!"
"I love how dramatic she is!"
"Like father like daughter," Roy laughed.
"Shut up!"
Roy didn't shut up, he spent a good hour making fun of Jason's antics and making Harper laugh. When it was time for his session he left his best friend and his daughter to go out for their scheduled walk.
Crime Alley, the same day
"And this is where I met him," Jason stood in the Alley where he stole the tires of the batmobile nearly a lifetime ago.
"Ahh," Harper wiggled in her baby holder, show me!
"Wait let me turn so you can see," Jason turned around and kept his eyes open, he knew he was being followed but he also knew that all he needed was one good shot and whoever is following him would be gone, "what do you think?"
"Ahhh, heeh," Harper kicked her feet in her holder.
"The car was so big and I was so small, the tires were almost as big as me!"
"Hehh," Harper breathed out a laugh at Jason's dramatic tone.
"Come on let me show you something else," Jason wrapped his arms around Harper who kept looking left and right from on high.
The father and daughter duo walked around for some time in the narrowest alleys of the Bowery. Jason was on some sort of a mission; reaching his destination, where he knew he'd be safe along with Harper, and shooting whoever was following them if they're a threat. Harper was so happy, spending her time staring up at her dad's face or looking around the streets where people walked around slowly and skittishly, or where homeless people laid on their cardboard beds. Most people smiled when Harper's happy chirps reached their ears, but none of them approached her and Jason.
"Isn't it a bit early for that?" Jason asked with amusement in his voice.
"Who the fuck-Jason?" Valery dropped the beer to cover her mouth with both hands in surprise.
"Heya Val, how you been?" Jason felt like a tiny little boy again about to get a scolding for being out in the alley late at night where the Johns, pimps and traffickers roamed freely.
"Y-you're alive," Valery still hadn't noticed the baby strapped on Jason's chest, "you slippery motherfuck-"
"Language," Jason chided her jokingly as he pointed to Harper.
"Holy mother of shit!" Valery ran her fingers through her hair, "hello little one."
"Ahhh," Harper turned to the voice and smiled.
"You are so precious," Valery cooed then glanced up to Jason who was smiling widely, "she yours?"
"Yeah," Jason kissed Harper's nose which prompted little giggles from the baby.
"She has your old eyes," Valery noted in a levelled voice.
"She has her mom's eyes, and hopefully everything else," Jason sighed then walked closer towards the door Valery was standing next to when he arrived.
Valery immediately picked up on the move and casually but expertly looked around to see if she could spot who was following Jason but couldn't.
"Where's her mama?" Valery pushed the door open and waited for Jason and Harper to walk inside before locking it tight. She knew if some rogue wanted to, they'd be able to break down the door, locks meant shit in Crime Alley, but it eased her mind.
"Passed in childbirth," Jason pushed the curtain of the window looking out to the street with one finger while keeping his back to the wall.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Valery reached for her shotgun and cocked in preparation, "is that why you disappeared? The whole thing was for show?"
"Nah," Jason shook his head, "I found out later, but giving up the life, that's for her."
Valery hummed approvingly and smiled when Harper reached for Jason's lower lip and pulled on it. She was so happy Jason had left the red hood behind, it was time that boy had some joy in his life. Willis and Catherine sure never gave him happy days, that's how he met Valery and her girls, the poor kid ran away from one of Willis' rage fits, and Willis was known among the working girls. Then when he moved in with Gotham's favorite son, he supposedly died. He says he did die, but resurrection is a load of bull if you asked Valery. Then a few years later, the Redhood shows up and he protects the girls and the kids of the alley like no one's ever done before, it had to be one of them. Redhood crashed her window once, that's how she found out, little scrawny Jason Peter Todd was back from the "dead" and protecting the Alley. She's kept his secrets and tends not to think about them too much. Jason shot Penguin? The old stinking bird definitely deserved it, Batman rained hell on their boy? Well, her and her girls made sure the old furry knew he wasn't welcome here anymore.
"That's good, but trouble seems to follow you, huh?"
"It might not be trouble," Jason squinted when a shadow disappeared as quickly as it appeared behind one of the big dumpsters under the fire escape of the building next to this one.
"Hehh," Harper poked Jason's cheek again and giggled when she saw his tongue poking out of his mouth, she tried to grab it but it disappeared so fast it made the baby whine a little loudly.
"What is it princess? Your daddy's not letting ya catch his tongue? He's a good one, this one, I promise ya, you're so, so lucky to have him."
"Thanks Val," Jason kissed Harper's face all over which caused the baby to laugh a little. His phone buzzed and took his attention away from the window.
I will not be able to visit tonight, tell Harper I am truly sorry – Damian
Jason frowned at his phone, something was up. Damian tried to spend as much time with Harper as possible, and the longer was Bruce's trip, the more time Damian demanded. Someone made it into the small space occupied by Jason, Valery and Harper when Jason was focused on Damian's text. Apparently Valery noticed that someone was inside too, surviving for so long as a prostitute in Crime Alley, she picked up a few skills.
"We're both armed, and we will shoot to kill, so come the fuc-fudge out before I blow your fuck-fudging brains out," she called out while aiming her shotgun.
"My lord," the shadow said in a language Valery didn't speak.
"Lower your weapon, but keep it ready," Jason had one arm wrapped around Harper and a gun ready with the other, "show yourself."
The shadow walked closer and revealed himself, one of Talia's assassins.
"Remove your hood," Jason spoke in English, still standing side ways to protect Harper as much as possible.
"As you wish," the assassin knew better than to call Jason by his title in front of Valery, he took off his hood and tried to hide his smile at Jason's surprised but relieved expression.
"Oh, it's just you!" Valery said at the same time as Jason spoke.
"You're alive!" Jason exclaimed and put his gun away and noticed Valery doing the same, "Raja, how are you still alive?"
"I'll leave ya two fellas," Valery went to Jason and gently poked Harper's nose and whispered before she left, "you're Gotham's princess and don't you ever forget it."
"When I left, you were dead," Jason kept staring at one of the 'nicest' assassins he knew back during his time with the league, completely missing that Valery seemed to know him.
"The same could be said about you," Raja shot back in amusement.
"Smart-ass," Jason huffed.
"Language," Raja grinned when Harper turned to look at him, he bowed his head and spoke to her, "my Queen."
"Hehh," Harper smiled, recognizing the word, that's me!
"You don't have to call her that," Jason smiled when Harper reached out for Raja, "why are you following me?"
"It's who she is," Raja meant it in a different way than the family, "it is my job to keep you both safe, as I have been ever since you came back to Gotham."
"I assume you wanted to meet her, that's why you made yourself obvious today?"
"I did," Raja kept smiling at Harper whose smile never faded from her face as she looked between the men in the room, "it is refreshing to be smiled upon."
"Her smile is the best thing in the world," Jason agreed, he understood where Raja was coming from, they both had scarred and hardened faces that were rarely ever met with a smile from a stranger, "no, her existence in the best thing in the world."
"It is," Raja reached for a small package from his pocket and offered it to Jason, "it is far less than she is worth, nothing will ever measure up to her worth, but it is rightfully hers to keep."
Jason's brow furrowed, when Talia's assassins spoke of worth and rightfulness and all that crap, it was usually about Damian's inheritance or Ra's fit or something. So Jason carefully opened the small wooden box, which was beautifully carved by Raja's hand he was sure. It was a necklace that Jason had seen in the artifacts' room in the Nanda Parbat Castle.
"Raja," Jason's tone held warning as he stared at the emerald stone laced with thin gold branches.
"She knows," Raja reassures Jason.
"Hehhh," Harper wiggled in the baby holder.
"Would you allow me?" Raja pointed at Harper, "she seems uncomfortable."
"She does," Jason shoved the box in his pocket and proceeded to unfasten Harper from her holder, "why would she let you take the necklace?"
"I was the one who retrieved it when it was lost, years before your time with us," Raja couldn't stop smiling when Harper didn't reject his embrace, "she allowed me to choose a gift for the queen, and well, it seemed fitting and Lady Talia agreed."
"Haahhh," Harper perked up at the sound of Talia's name.
"Very few of us know," Raja went to the old couch to sit.
"What do you mean?" Jason sat down next to him.
"The One Who Is All, she handpicked us, the ones who know about your daughter are very few," Raja explained as he held Harper's stare.
"The one who- you mean Cass?"
"I do the daughter of Lady Shiva and David Cain truly is terrifying," Raja stated, "she can see right into your soul. I don't envy her curse but I am glad she deemed me worthy enough to be in the first circle."
Jason nodded. If Cass was handpicking people, it means that Cass had an official rank in the league, and this was all Jason's fault. Jason knew that Talia wasn't Ra's, but to be taken seriously, to earn a rank and respect within the league of assassins or the league of shadows, one must kill, one must show no mercy, one must be undefeated.
"Her presence is terrifying enough, I have never seen her take a life since she came back to the league," Raja reassured Jason.
"And I thought Cass reading people was creepy," Jason snorted a laugh and grinned when Harper started making grabby hands at him, "come here Harper."
"Ahhh heeeh," Harper laid her head inside the crook of Jason's neck and sighed.
Batfamily group chat:
Where's Damian? – Dick
Jay's I suppose – Steph
It's the weekend so of course he's at Jay's – Duke
Yeah he demanded the full weekend for him alone! Like seriously we all want to be there, we can be there while he's there! – Tim
Jason frowned at the texts he just received and was about to reply when he received a private message from Damian.
Cover for me – Damian
Please – Damian
Batfamily group chat:
He's with me, do not come crashing in! We're on our way back then Harper's going to bed! – Jason
Todd's statement is accurate, now leave us be – Damian
"Is everything alright?" Raja couldn't hide his concern.
"Have you seen the prince lately?" Jason ignored the rest of the texts on the group chat in favor of checking on Harper who seemed to be falling asleep.
"I am assigned to you," Raja frowned, "I will check on him after I take you two home."
"I thought you were helping Suzie's kid with his self-defense," Valery came back into the room.
"Wait, you two actually know each other," Jason finally remembered to ask.
"Yeah, who do you think been keeping us safe here since you left? Quinn? She bailed too, a while back, something about needing to find herself and all that bull," Valery huffed, "Raja and his shadowy friends been working overtime in the alley, we don't let capes in no more. He ain't one of ours, but he's ten times better than the capes ever will be."
"Really," Jason glanced at Raja who seemed to be a bit embarrassed by Valery's praise.
"Yeah, they been helping the kids, taking shifts and all," Valery kept going, "now off you go, Gotham's princess needs a good nap."
"Right," Jason shook his head and accepted Raja's help in strapping Harper back in the holder.
"I'm glad you're okay," Valery gave him a side hug before gently stroking Harper's cheek, "luckiest princess in the kingdom."
Jason's safe-house
"Let me know what's up with the kid okay?" Jason walked Raja back to the door after sharing a nice cup of tea and some stories with his old friend.
"I will," Raja almost bowed, "there's always someone close. You know how to call for help."
"Yeah I do, now check on my little demon, will you?"
"Protect my queen, will you?" Raja said in the same tone then bowed his head and left.
"With my dying breath," Jason said to no one and went to lay next to Harper who was sleeping in his bed, "I love you so much, you don't even know."