sadie
I think it's pretty safe to say that I've had mine and Charlie's date on my mind all day. I've barely paid attention in class, because each second just seems to drag on longer than the last.
The reason why I'm so excited is because me and Charlie haven't had a proper date since the summer, because of the start of school and sports.
Although I'm somehow able to get away with not paying attention in class, I can't seem to snap myself out of it for practice. My passes are sloppy, my shots are weak, and I look like I've never played a day of soccer in my life.
I know everyone has off days sometimes. It's normal, and it's a part of life. But I'm used to perfection, because I expect it from myself. I know I can get there if I work hard enough, so when I mess up due to something that could've been so easily avoided, I break down.
I'm used to bottling up my emotions, and I think part of it is because I'm an older sibling. After my sister was born, I learned how to not ask for help, because I didn't want to be a burden.
It really sucked to push my parents away and insist I was fine. My sister was a preemie and had a lot of health scares when she was born, so I didn't want to make any more work for my parents by raising my issues that didn't seem so big anymore.
Over time, my isolation and the increasing feelings to be perfect grew. I figured if I was perfect, my parents wouldn't need to worry about me. It's definitely ruined my relationship with my parents, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret pushing them away like I have.
My point is, I've felt this way for so long and have bottled my emotions for so long, that I let this off day get to me.
During our first water break, I give myself a few slaps on my head to try and get myself in the right headspace. That clearly doesn't work, and it makes me even more frustrated. When practice is over, I throw my water bottle in my bag and storm off to the dorm, not even bothering to wait for Ella and Morgan.
When I get to our dorm, I immediately go into the bathroom and take a long, hot shower. Practice ran a little long today since we have a game tomorrow, and it's already after six by the time I finally get out of the shower. I throw on some sweats and text Charlie to confirm our study date, but by the time seven rolls around, I still haven't heard a word from him.
I try to shake off the rising feelings of disappointment by cleaning my side of the dorm and doing some homework. I put Gossip Girl on in the background to serve as a distraction, but I eventually have to turn it off because it was making me too distracted.
I'm able to finish my rough draft for my English essay, and I actually finish my math pages without stopping to do something else. I check my phone and see that it is only seven-fifteen. I still have other homework to do, so I might as well do that.
As I start to take out my history textbook so I can start my reading, someone starts knocking on the door. I'm the only one in here, Ella has a doctor's appointment and Morgan went to the library to study for her Spanish test, so it could honestly be anyone but them.
When I open the door, Connie is standing there with a worried expression on her face.
"Thank goodness you answered, we thought you were dead."
I hold back a laugh and raise my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
This time, she is the one to raise her eyebrows. "You haven't read any of the texts we've sent you?"
"No." I admit with a shrug. "I've been doing homework and haven't checked my texts. I usually don't answer when I'm doing homework unless they're from Ella, Morgan, or Charlie. Speaking of Charlie, where is he?"
"In the library waiting for you." she answers nonchalantly. "His phone died and he couldn't reach you. None of us could reach Ella or Morgan either. He was going to leave and come find you, but Averman convinced him to stay there and wait."
"Of course Averman would do that." I mumble under my breath.
"I could tell Charlie to come up here, or do you want to go down to the library?" Connie asks with a smile.
I return the smile before running inside quickly to get my coat. When I come back out, Connie grabs my hand and we start walking towards the library.
The walk to the library is short and sweet, and Charlie immediately jumps up when he sees me.
"Hey." he says with a relieved sigh. "I was worried about you."
I squeeze his hand and start walking towards the door. "No need to be. I'm fine. Do you still want to get some food at the diner?"
His answering smile is all I need. We head out of the library and to the cab waiting for us. Fifteen minutes later, we're walking into Mickey's diner and Casey's warm smile greets us as she ushers us into a booth.
She whips out her notepad to start taking our orders, her smile never leaving her face. "What would you like sweetheart?"
I wasn't sure who she was talking to at first, but Charlie's nod tells me that she wasn't talking to him. "I'll just have a grilled cheese and tomato soup please."
She writes it down and turns to her son. "The usual for my boy?"
"Yes please."
After writing down his order, she gives us another smile and walks away, to I assume put our order in with the kitchen.
"So." Charlie starts, interlacing his fingers and placing his hands on the table. "Why didn't you come to the library earlier?"
I furrow my brows in confusion. "What do you mean? Didn't Connie tell you?"
"No. I honestly thought it was your payback for me ditching you last night."
I feel a small lump forming in my throat. "So you admit you were ditching me?"
His face drops as he realizes what he said. "No Sade, I wasn't ditching you. I-"
"No it's fine Char, don't worry about it. Look, the drinks are here."
I quickly blink the tears back that are threatening the form and turn to Casey, who's holding our drinks. I guess she sees my face, because she puts our drinks down and looks at me with a concerned expression. "What happened sweetheart?"
"Oh nothing." I respond quickly, adding a fake laugh to make it sound more believable. "I just yawned, that's all."
She lets out a relieved sigh, and quickly rubs my shoulders before disappearing back into the kitchen.
The meal is pretty quiet, other than the few words we utter to each other in between bites. Once we are finished and the bill is paid, we take a cab back to campus.
Despite the rain, Charlie walks me across campus to my dorm. When we're in front of my door, he places a small kiss on my cheek before taking a deep breath. "Are you still coming to the game tomorrow?"
I give him a small smile before unlocking my door. I turn around to face him again, only to see him halfway down the hall. I try, but I can't stop the grin from fully forming on my face. "Only if you come to mine."
"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" he calls from down the hall, then blows me a kiss before rounding the corner.
When I open the door, Ella and Morgan are sitting on my bed. As I walk in, they get off the bed and come over to me, eager to hear how my date went.
"So..." Ella starts cautiously. "How did it go?"
I shrug and walk over to my dresser. "It was fine. Like any other normal date we've had."
"Okay." Morgan adds, in the same cautious tone that Ella had just moments before. "Why do you sound so tense then? Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine." I answer, without even turning around. "Why wouldn't it be?"
I hear Ella take a deep breath, but Morgan speaks instead of her. "Well, after last night we weren't sure if everything was okay between you guys."
Crap, I forgot I told them about that. I honestly don't know why I'm surprised, I tell them everything. And besides, it's not like I can even be mad at them, because they only have my best interests in mind.
I play with the knobs of my dresser to collect myself, and then turn around with the best fake smile I can muster. "Everything is fine. You guys don't need to worry at all."
I even add a thumbs up, which makes them look at me skeptically. Nevertheless, they seem to believe me for now and that's what matters.
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When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is go into the bathroom and say some positive things in the mirror. If I'm going to play well today and forget yesterday's disaster of a practice, the first thing to do is to think positively.
I get myself dressed, pack my soccer bag, and slip out of the dorm before Ella and Morgan even wake up. I take the scenic route to the school from the dorms, and the fresh air is definitely nice. The sunrise definitely played a factor into why I got up so early.
I grab a muffin from the dining hall and put my soccer bag in the locker room, before going back to the dining hall to eat my muffin.
Aaliyah and Kyla saw me while I was eating, and the three of us had an impromptu little breakfast date in the dining hall. As I finish my muffin the first passing bell rings, meaning we have five minutes to get to first period.
I throw on the sweatshirt that I have with me, one of Charlie's "Eden Hall Hockey" sweatshirts, and go to class. As usual, I get the jealous stares from multiple girls as I walk through the hall. And also as usual, I don't let it bother me. He's my boyfriend, not theirs.
I go through my day like normal and before I know it, I'm on the field for the start of my game. The game ends up being way better than I thought, even though I don't get any points. We get the win, and I'm back to playing like my normal self.
After the game, Morgan, Ella, and I run back to the dorm quickly to shower and change before running across campus to the hockey arena. We get there just as the first period is starting, so we didn't miss much.
The first goes by quickly, and the second was going well, until all of a sudden there is a loud whistle and a unanimous gasp from the crowd.
I quickly look around for what's happening and find it at center ice, where Adam and Larson have dropped their gloves and are about to fight.
I look at Ella, and she's gone completely pale. I look down to Charlie, and he looks as helpless as I'm sure Ella feels.
I grab her hand and squeeze it tightly, before looking to the sky to say a small prayer that this would end quickly and without any real damage.