Chapter 1
I sipped on my tea as I watched the raindrops dash across the window. Some made their way down as quickly as they could. Some paused for a moment, as if savoring the life of being free from the clouds. And some . . . some didn't make it to the window. They went straight out of the ground, colliding and clashing.
I took a deep breath and exhaled deeply.
Another day. Another day of stress. Another day of pressure.
Sana, gaya ng ulan, puwede rin akong dumiretso na lang sa lupa. That way, I wouldn't have to feel awful for not achieving perfection. That way, I wouldn't have to deal with self-disappointment.
"Anong oras ka uuwi mamaya?"
Napatigil ako sa pag-iisip nang marinig ang boses ni Mill sa likuran ko. I turned around to face her, and I couldn't help but notice how attractive she was. Naka-uniform na siya. In her left hand was a black cloth, and she was carefully pressing it to her damp pixie-cut hair.
"Ano?" inis na tanong niya nang mapansin ang pagtitig ko.
I grimaced and tried to think of a reason not to compliment her.
"T-shirt ko 'yan," sagot ko.
She laughed. "Kaya pala amoy luom."
Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Siraulo ka ba? Ni hindi ko pa nga 'yan nagagamit!"
She is really pretty. 'Wag lang talagang magsasalita.
"Edi pangit ang laba mo."
"Ah, talaga? Itinerno ko kasi sa mukha mo," I fired back.
Lalong lumawak ang ngisi niya. "Laging may sagot amputa."
Nakasimangot kong ibinalik ang tingin sa bintana. Bwisit na babae! Ang paya-payapa ng umaga ko pero ginugulo niya!
I felt her move closer to my side. "Ano ngang oras ang uwi mo mamaya?"
I took another sip of my tea. Alas diez ang klase ko pero dahil maaga akong nagising ay tinulungan ko na lang si Kat na magluto ng umagahan namin. Late na rin kasing nakauwi sina Karsen at Mill kagabi dahil sa trabaho.
"Three," sagot ko.
I put down my mug after realizing that I had already consumed my drink.
Kat, Mill, and Karsen were my childhood friends in Bahay Tuluyan, the shelter who put a roof over our heads. Ako ang nauna roon dahil ilang linggo pa lang akong naisisilang ay ipinadala na agad ako sa ampunan. I was one when Karsen came. Halos dalawang buwan pa lang siya noon. Sumunod naman ay si Mill na ka-edad ko lang. We were only three at that time. Makalipas lang din ang isang buwan ay dumating na si Kat.
I couldn't remember how our friendship started. Iba-iba kami ng katangian kaya kung titingnan ay parang imposible kaming mabuo. Karsen was innocent and playful, Mill was fierce and aggressive, and Kat, well, what could I say about her? She was the most generous and helpful person I have ever known.
I remember her giving me her revenue from selling sampaguita when I was in grade school. Ayoko na kasing mag-aral noon. I was so close to giving up my studies. I just couldn't bear seeing my classmates being fetched by their parents. I couldn't stand watching them eat while my stomach tightened in hunger.
Ibinigay sa akin ni Kat ang napagbentahan niya dahil alam niyang gusto kong bumili ng chuckie na nakikita ko lang noon sa mga kaklase ko.
It wasn't a big deal to me back then.
But now I see how much love it takes to give someone something when you're barely surviving.
"May gagawin ka after?" untag ni Mill.
Umiling lang ako.
"Wala kang client?" tanong niya ulit.
I chuckled gently. "Hindi muna ako tumanggap. May ipon pa naman ako. Ang dami kong inayusan last week, eh."
"O siya, sumama ka sa 'kin mamaya."
"Saan naman?"
She laughed as she put down the black cloth. "Iinom."
I frowned at her. "Hindi ka ba nanghihinayang sa pera? Ang mahal mahal ng alak ngayon, eh."
Tinitigan ko siya nang matagal. Among all my friends, Mill was the closest to me. Siguro dahil ilang taon din kaming magkaklase. Ngayong college lang naman kami naghiwalay dahil magkaiba kami ng kursong kinuha.
"Samahan mo na 'ko," pamimilit niya. "Gusto ko kasing mag-inom. Two and a half months pa lang tayong college, pagod na agad ako."
"Gagawin mo lang akong tagapag-alaga mo!"
Muli siyang tumawa. "Nadali mo!"
Inirapan ko lang siya at hindi na ako nagulat nang bigla siyang sumigaw na parang tanga. Alam niya kasing hindi ko naman siya matitiis. Ganoon din kasi siya sa akin kapag nala-late ako ng uwi dahil sa part-time job ko bilang make-up artist. She would always pick me up because she knew how dangerous the streets were at night.
"Kumain na tayo!" sigaw ni Kat. "Karsen, bumangon ka na at lalagyan ko pa ng salonpas 'yang likod mo."
"Hindi na masakit, ate!" maliit ang boses na sagot ni Karsen.
"Eh, ang tiyan mo? Humihilab pa?" nag-aalalang tanong ni Kat. "Ang kulit mo kasi. Kailangan ko pa bang mag-alarm para ipaalala sa 'yo kung anong oras dapat kumain? Magkaka-ulcer ka n'yan, eh."
I grinned to myself when I saw Mill scratching the back of her neck.
"Shuta, ang aga naman ng balitaktakan ng mag-ina."
Pumasok muna ako sa kwarto namin ni Kat para ihanda ang uniform ko, bago mag-umagahan kasama ang tatlo. Karsen went on to talk about her idol in the same way she always did, and Kat, being Kat, advised us of our daily reminder — unahin ang pag-aaral para hindi mawala ang scholarship, huwag magpagabi sa daan kung hindi kailangan, at huwag kalimutang kumain.
"Mari, sabihin mo sa 'kin kapag kinukulit ka pa ni Jin, ha?" saad ni Mill. "Punyeta 'yang ex mo, eh. Masasapak ko na 'yon kapag sumunod-sunod ulit sa 'yo."
I breathed deeply. "Hayaan mo na. Hindi ko naman pinapansin."
"Kahit pa! Siya na nga ang cheater—"
"Millicent," Katana cut her off. "Nasa harap tayo ng pagkain."
"Eh, gago kasi, eh."
I smiled to myself. She was more affected than I was because she introduced me to Jin in senior high school. Our relationship lasted for four months. He was my first love . . . But, yeah, he duped me into believing in false promises before cheating on me.
"Basta, kapag nangulit pa, sabihan mo 'ko."
I nodded. Akala mo naman ay hindi niya ako madalas asarin do'n! She'd always say that my ex is an asshole. Which is . . . true. Painfully true.
My mornings were always like that. These three set a model for what a family should be like. Noon tuloy ay hindi ko maiwasang isipin kung anong saya ang dala ng pamilyang pinagkaisa ng dugo.
They didn't know my father's arrangement with me. Ang alam lang nila ay ipinahiram ito ni Dad bilang paghingi ng tawad sa pag-iwan sa akin sa ampunan.
I prepared for school after breakfast. Dahil may oras pa ay hindi ko naiwasang mag-ayos.
I have naturally loose curls that fall past my waist. Some people told me how beautiful it looked, but trust me, taking care of it wasn't easy, especially since curls don't always look styled. Most mornings, I would wake up looking like I'd been in a war.
Hindi rin ako kasing puti ng mga kaibigan ko. I'm not dark, but I'm not fair either.
After refining my brows, I pulled my hair back into a high ponytail and put on my favorite crimson red lipstick.
Ang pag-aayos ko na 'yon ay mabilis ko ring pinagsisihan nang mapansin ko kung gaano kasiksikan ang mga jeep na dumadaan. Kitang-kita ko pa ang maiitim na usok mula sa tambutso ng mga sasakyan. Kung kaninang umaga ay umuulan, ngayon ay parang bumaba si satanas sa lupa dahil sa init.
I held the chain-strap of my white shoulder bag as the humid air kissed my exposed neck.
Malapit lang naman ang school namin. Kung tutuusin ay puwede kong lakarin. Kaya lang, dahil tirik ang araw ay mas gusto ko na lang mag-commute.
While waiting, I felt my cellphone vibrate.
From: Shaira
saan na u queen
I smiled as I replied.
To: Shaira
Pasakay na. Nand'yan na si Ma'am?
From: Shaira
wala pa pero bilisan mo at kokopya ako ng label sa gen bio wahahahahaha xd ingat
I slid my cellphone into the pocket of my bag. I didn't want to get worked up, but I knew that the longer I stayed here, the more likely I would be late for class.
Naramdaman ko ulit ang pag-vi-vibrate ng cellphone ko, pero hindi ko na iyon sinilip dahil may dumaang jeep sa tapat ko. The heavens might have seen my desperation. I extended my arm as eagerly as I could, and I breathed a sigh of relief when it stopped. It was almost ten meters away from me, so I ran a little to get there.
Namumuo ang pawis sa noo ko nang makaupo sa pinakadulo, sa likuran ng driver. I smiled as I glanced at my wristwatch and saw that I still had time. Terror ang instructor namin sa general biology, ang first subject namin. Ni hindi ito nagbibigay ng grace period.
I was about to reply to Shaira when my eyes were pulled into a DSM-5-TR book by the person beside me. Pakiramdam ko ay nagningning ang mga mata ko roon. I felt my blood gushing through my veins because of seeing such beauty.
I mean . . . who wouldn't?! It was the newest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders! The holy scripture of psych majors!
And the last time I checked, it was $200!
With my eyes surely gleaming, I turned and looked at the owner of the book only to realize that it was my beloved classmate, Leon Ysmael Zamora.
His dark, cold eyes met mine in an instant. Bahagyang umarko ang kilay niya at bago pa magtagal ang tinginan namin ay tumalikod na ako.
How come he was already reading the DSM-5-TR?! Hindi pa kami nag-ta-take ng abnormal at clinical psychology pero nagbabasa na siya! He was too advanced!
Kaya siguro malabo ang mata niya! Basa nang basa!
I sighed harshly when his fresh scent reached my nose. He smelled like he had just stepped out of the shower and sprinkled himself with a cool, manly fragrance.
Sa halos tatlong buwan naming pagiging magkaklase ay ito ang unang beses na nakasabay ko siya sa jeep. Lagi naman siyang nauunang dumating sa room kaysa sa akin. Madalas ay naabutan ko siyang tulog o kaya naman ay nagbabasa.
Yes, reading. Kahit vacant, lunch time, recess . . . I had never seen him without his books. Maraming siyang kabarkada sa iba't ibang programs pero tuwing nakikita nilang nagbabasa ang lalaki ay hindi nila ito pinapakialamanan.
Inabala ko ang sarili sa pagtingin sa labas. Sa lahat ng mga kaklase ko ay siya lang ang hindi ko pa nakakausap nang hindi related sa acads. Not that I wanted to. He always obtained the highest marks in our exams. Minsan ay tie kami, pero kalimitan talaga ay mas mataas siya. Bilang sa daliri kung ilang beses ko siyang nataasan. Sa minor subjects pa!
Nang matanaw ang university ay inayos ko na ang gamit ko. I tried my best not to look at Leon because I might end up glaring at him. Simula noong nag-debate kami ay lagi na kaming pinagsasabong ng mga kaklase ko. Tuloy ay puro inis ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya.
As competitive as I was, nakipag-unahan pa ako sa pagbaba sa kanya kahit pa siya naman ang nasa bukana. The silence between us was just too much for my system!
Unfortunately, before I even had the chance to get out of the jeep, the driver had called me.
"Ineng na naka-puting bag, hindi ka pa nagbabayad!"
To say that it was groundbreakingly humiliating was an understatement.
I felt my jaw drop as I shifted my gaze back to the driver, my eyes widening each second. Everyone's attention was drawn to me. Some squinted, as if they were judging me.
Dali-dali akong naupo sa bakanteng upuan sa gilid ko. "Pasensya na po! Nakalimutan ko!" I said as I panicked.
"Kung hindi ka pa tinawag . . ." naiinis na saad ng driver.
"Sorry po talaga, kuya. Ito na po."
I went over my things to get my wallet. Rinig ko ang bulungan ng mga pasahero.
"Mahal ang pamasahe ngayon tapos maiisipan n'yo pang mag-123?"
Sa sobrang pagmamadali ay hindi ko makita ang pitaka ko. Nakakapa ko iyon sa pinakailalim ng mga gamit ko pero hindi ko naman makuha dahil sa labis na pagkataranta.
"Ang mga kabataan talaga ngayon. Parang hindi napapalaki nang ayos ng magulang."
Bahagya akong napatigil sa narinig. I slowly lifted my head. It came from an old lady who sat across from me.
"Excuse me, ano pong sabi n'yo?" hindi napigilang tanong ko.
Hindi sumagot ang matanda, dahilan para umahon ang inis sa dibdib ko.
Can't she see that it was an honest mistake?! Bakit kailangan pang mandamay ng magulang?
"Magbabayad naman po ako. What's the need to say that, ma'am?" I asked again, trying my hardest to control my anger.
"Neng, kung hindi ka nahuli, hindi ka magbabayad."
"Eh, nakalimutan ko nga po, eh. Hindi ko naman po ikakayaman ang sampung piso!" I pointed out.
My emotions were in turmoil. Hindi ko alam kung OA lang ako o ano, pero naiinis ako dahil kailangan niya pang makisali! At isa pa, magbabayad naman talaga ako!
"Grabe, sumasagot pa, 'no?" sabi niya sa kasama. "Iba talaga ang attitude ng mga kabataan ngayon."
I was all set to lash out on her when Leon got in between us. Palabas na siya ng jeep pero tumigil pa siya sa tapat ko.
"Let's go," he said, almost commanding me.
I clenched my fist. "Hindi pa 'ko tapos."
He gave me a sidelong glance. "Don't create a scene. Inaabala n'yo ang driver."
I took deep breaths in and out to relax. I pulled out my wallet and prepared to pay my fare when he interrupted me again.
"Bayad na."
Hindi na ako pinagsalita dahil bumaba na agad siya.
Isang beses pa akong napabuntong-hininga bago humingi ulit ng tawad sa driver. I went out, feeling ashamed and irritated. Gusto kong makipagsagutan sa matandang babae pero tama si Leon, maaabala ang driver. Miski ang ibang pasahero.
I looked at the gate, and was taken aback when I saw him standing on its side, as if waiting for me . . . or someone. I don't know. His hair swept in the flurry of air, and the blazing sun rays brushed against his brown, smooth skin.
Nang makita ako ay saka siya pumasok na sa loob.
Sumunod din agad ako sa kanya pero hindi ko siya sinabayan sa paglalakad. I was just walking behind him, a bit embarrassed about what happened. Kung hindi niya ako pinigilan, malamang ay nakikipagtalo pa rin ako sa matandang babae.
Kumuha ako ng sampung piso sa pitaka ko at buo ang loob na tinabihan siya. He was tall. Hanggang ilalim lang ako ng baba niya kahit na medyo mataas ang white shoes ko.
"Oh," I said, acting confidently as I handed him the two five-peso coins.
He adjusted his specs without looking at me and continued walking.
Parang hindi niya ako narinig! Or worse, wala siyang pakialam sa sinabi ko!
I followed him again.
"Ito nga," sabi ko pa.
"Save it," he said, dismissing me.
Umiling ako habang pilit pa ring sinasabayan ang paglalakad niya. God! Ang haba-haba ng biyas niya! Siguradong hahapuin ako sa pagsunod sa kanya!
"Pamasahe ko 'to, Zamora."
Hindi niya pa rin ako pinansin.
"Come on, just accept this!" inis nang reklamo ko.
His chest heaved against his uniform, para bang nagtitimping pagalitan ako. Tumigil siya sa paglalakad at hindi na ako nagulat nang binalingan niya ako ng tingin.
His annoyed look scared me for a second.
I cursed silently. Fuck him and his intimidating eyes!
"I'm not gonna hold you hostage over that," he said, brows furrowed. "And I'm running late for class. Stop being so nosy."
Para akong natauhan. I glanced at my watch and my lips parted when I saw the time.
"One minute!" I gasped.
Nauna nang maglakad sa akin ang lalaki kaya kumaripas ako ng takbo. Nalampasan ko siya pero wala na akong pakialam. I ran as quickly as I could. Double period 'yon! Kapag na-mark as absent ako ay parang dalawang meeting akong wala!
I almost cried in frustration. Malayo ang department namin sa gate. Marami pang estudyante ang paharang-harang kaya natagalan ako.
To no avail, I arrived at our classroom five minutes late. Tahimik na ang mga kaklase ko at hindi ko magawang pumasok dahil naririnig ko na ang boses ni Ma'am Abulencia, ang biology instructor at homeroom adviser namin.
If it were Ms. Lubrica, I'd feel less nervous . . . but why does it have to be that grumpy old maid?!
Lalo akong nataranta nang makita si Leon na dire-diretso ang lakad papasok ng room. Ni hindi man lang ako niyaya!
Napabuga ako ng hangin bago siya sundan. This better be good!
Gaya ng inaasahan ko, nakita kong nakatayo lang sa gilid ng room ang lalaki habang nakatingin sa kanya si Ma'am. Hindi na ako nabigyan ng pagkakataong magtago sa likod niya dahil mabilis akong nahuli ng mga mata ng ginang.
"Ms. Mendoza, why am I not surprised?" she asked. "This is your third time coming late to my class . . ."
I bowed my head. "I'm sorry, ma'am."
I'd admit it. Hindi valid ang rason ko ngayon hindi gaya noong naunang dalawa. May mga kliyente kasi akong nagpaayos sa akin nang maaga at hindi ko naman magawang tumanggi dahil malaki ang ibinabayad nila. I'm saving up for my thesis and lab reports. Kailangan kong mag-doble kayod.
Pero fifteen minutes lang naman akong late noon! Ngayon nga ay limang minuto lang! Ni hindi niya pa naaayos ang projector.
"Mr. Zamora, ikaw? Bakit ngayon ka lang?"
I didn't know why I felt guilty. Kung hindi niya ako kinausap sa jeep kanina ay siguradong makakaabot siya. Sana rin ay hindi na siya tumambay sa gate. He knew he was late . . . tapos ganoon pa ang ginawa niya.
"Pinatawag po ako sa school ng kapatid ko, ma'am," magalang na sagot niya.
"Why?"
"Misconduct."
Sumilip ako kay Ma'am at nakita ko ang dahan-dahang pagtango niya sa lalaki. She motioned for me to stand next to Leon, which I did.
Humarap si Ma'am sa laptop niya. "Both of you, let's have a quick review. What are the two basic ways of cellular transport?"
Hindi ko ipinahalata ang kaba ko. Ma'am Abulencia and her questions!
"Passive and active," sagot ni Leon.
I groaned inwardly. Naunahan niya 'ko!
Our instructor nodded slowly. "Give me their difference."
"The cell in passive transport does not utilize any energy to facilitate particle movement from one place to another, but the cell in active transport does," dire-diretsong saad ng lalaki, ni hindi ako binigyan ng pagkakataong makapagsalita.
My classmates gasped. Focus, Mari! Focus!
"In animal and plant cells, where do most of the respiration reactions take place?" tanong ulit ni Ma'am.
"Mitochondria," I answered almost instantly, a little scared of Leon.
Tumango si Ma'am. "What is a sac-like organelle that manufactures, packs, and transports particles across the cell?"
"Golgi apparatus," Leon responded flatly.
Kitang-kita ko ang pagnganga ng mga kaklase ko. I frowned. They must think we're in a movie!
"What's the difference between plant cells and animal cells?"
I raised my chin. "The shape of an animal cell is typically uneven and spherical. Dahil po ito sa absence ng cell wall, which is a hallmark feature of plant cells," I said. "Also, animal cells lack plastids because they are not autotrophs."
Naramdaman ko ang pagbaling sa akin ni Leon kaya napalingon din ako sa kanya. There wasn't any expression on his face, so I wouldn't know what he was thinking. Hindi rin naman ako interesado.
"The double-membrane structure that envelops the nucleus."
"Nuclear membrane," sagot ng lalaki, nakatingin pa rin sa akin.
Ma'am Abulencia cleared her throat. "The jelly-like substance that encloses the cell membrane and includes all of the cell organelles."
Not breaking our eye contact, I said, "Cytoplasm."
Huh! I can answer, too! You can't intimidate me with your gaze now!
"Okay, seems like you're doing your readings. Be seated."
Ako ang naunang nagbawi ng tingin. I took my seat calmly even though my heart was hammering from everything that happened . . . and probably because of Leon's eyes.
There was really something about his eyes that would make you shiver. Isang tingin lang, parang malalaman niya agad kung ano ang iniisip mo. It could be one of the reasons why he consistently wins over me. I was a little . . . nervous around him.
"As I was saying, class, uulitin ko para sa mga bagong dating, Ms. Lubrica will handle a quiz bee about general psychology before the semester ends because we're looking for three representatives to compete in Freshmen Affiliation this coming summer in Davao," Ma'am Abulencia explained. "You still have a lot of time to prepare. I'll just further announce it to our group chat because we need to proceed to our lesson now."
Dalawang oras din ang tinagal ng klase. Maya't maya ang pagsulyap ko kay Leon dahil sa sampung pisong gusto kong iabot sa kanya. How could I approach him? Kahit isang beses ay hindi ko naman siya nilapitan. The closest we'd ever been was in that jeep!
But then, even if I see him as my greatest competitor, there's something I really want to ask him.
"Kayo lang naman ni Leon ang maglalaban sa quiz bee na 'yon," tawa ni Shaira nang mag-lunch kami. "Corny, eh. May pa-gano'n pa. Alam na alam namang kayo lang ang matitira."
"Malay mo naman makapasok ka. Tatlo naman ang kailangan."
Inirapan niya ako. "Hindi ako nangangarap, 'te. Marami ring magaling sa ibang section. Ayan nga at hindi ko nalagyan ng label ang drawing ko dahil late ka!"
"Ako rin! Tapos wala pa si Leon!" singit ni Meg, isa sa mga kaklase ko na madalas ko ring kasama.
"Nagpapakopya ba 'yon?" tanong ko.
"Ewan, wala namang nangangahas magtanong." Shaira laughed. "Kahit sina Maricar nga, sariling sikap. Bet nila 'yon, eh. Nakakahiya raw mangopya."
Apat na mesa lang ang layo namin sa grupo nina Leon sa canteen. He was with our classmates and some of his friends from different programs. Sa personality niya, hindi mo aakalaing marami siyang kaibigan. Tahimik lang kasi siya at parang walang pakialam sa paligid.
My father has no idea that the tests I gave him did not obtain the top marks. Dahil kadalasan naman ay tatlo hanggang lima lang ang mali ko, inakala niyang pinakamataas na 'yon. I didn't bother informing him. Hindi naman malayo ang score ko kay Leon.
"Bagay kayo, Mari," saad ni Meg habang nakatingin din sa grupohan. "Ang cute n'yong tingnan kanina."
I pulled a face. "Yuck."
"Ay, wow po, Ms. Beautiful!"
Sinimangutan ko si Shaira. "Mas nakikita ko siyang kasabunutan."
"Hala, I hate my mind!" she teased. "Saan po ang sabunutan? 'Wag sana sa kama."
Hindi na ako nag-abala pang sumagot. Bumaling ulit ako sa puwesto nina Leon at kahit nagtatawanan ang mga kabarkada niya ay nanatiling seryoso ang mukha niya. He'd fix his glasses from time to time, but other than that, wala na siyang ibang reaksyon. If I want to approach him, maybe I should try to smile a bit? Like his friends?
"Yuck daw pero titig na titig."
"Nakatitig din naman si Leon d'yan minsan," kinikilig na saad ni Meg.
"Huy, totoo! Akala ko ako lang ang nakakapansin!"
I huffed and rolled my eyes. "Syempre, upuan namin ang magkatapat. Siraulo ba kayo?"
"Seryoso kasi! Tuwing sumasagot ka, tumitigil siya sa pagsusulat," giit ni Shaira.
Umiling ako. "Kasi gusto niya akong maliin! Pansinin n'yo kaya. Lahat ng claims ko, binabaligtad niya! Partida, isa pa lang ang major subject natin ngayong sem, ha! Wala pang masyadong debatable topics."
Napakamot sa batok si Meg. "Nakakatakot palang maging brainy. Kapag kasi ako ang tiningnan ni Leon nang gano'n, kikiligin ako. Hindi ko para isiping gusto niyang makipag-debate."
Shaira chuckled. "Same. Minsan nga ay gusto ko na lang mag-according to the bible kapag nagsasabong sila."
Hinayaan ko silang pag-usapan ako at ang lalaki hanggang sa natapos ang lunch break. The time flew swiftly until our last instructor dismissed us. A lot of things happened today, but there was one thing I couldn't get off of my head.
Slowly, I walked towards Leon after class. Inaayos niya ang gamit niya ngunit nang mapansing nasa tapat niya ako ay tumigil siya. He looked at me, making my stomach churn.
"You won't stop, will you?" he asked.
Nagulat ako sa pa-galit na timbre ng boses niya. "Huh?"
Umiling siya. "Iwanan mo na lang ang sampung piso d'yan kung hindi ka matahimik."
I gritted my teeth and realized that he might notice me staring at him all day. At syempre, iyon ang iisipin niya.
"That's not what I'm here for!" I said.
Tumaas ang kilay niya, dahilan para lalo siyang magmukha masungit. He adjusted his glasses and tilted his head, waiting for my answer.
I cleared my throat and turned away.
God, I really hate his eyes.
"Uhm . . . 'yong DSM-5-TR mo," I trailed off. Kung kaya ko lang 'yon bilhin ay hindi ako para lumapit sa kanya!
"What about it?"
My face was getting quite warm. Hindi talaga ako sanay na kausapin siya.
"Kapag tapos ka na . . ." I paused for a moment as I looked back at him. "Puwedeng mahiram?"
He seemed a little surprised. "Why?"
Para makapag-advance reading din ako! You can't beat me at that, too!
I pursed my lips. "Gusto kong aralin. I'm interested in clinical psychology . . . that's why."
Naiiling niyang ibinalik ang tingin sa mga gamit at nagsimulang ayusin iyon. Isinukbit niya ang bag sa kanang balikat bago ipinaling ang ulo niya sa kaliwa.
"Leon, tara na!" sigaw ng mga kaibigan niya sa labas.
"Yie, Amari, ano 'yan?!" It was Karen's voice.
"Uwian na po, bukas na ulit ang debate!" sabi pa ni Maricar.
Leon shifted his attention to me. Tumayo ako nang maayos.
"I don't share my books," masungit na sabi niya.
Napatunganga ako sa kanya.
"Excuse me."
He walked past me on his way out the door. I felt a pang of shame in my chest as I whirled around and looked at him, surrounded by his friends.
He's . . . impossible!
Saksakan na nga ng sungit, ang damot pa! How can people like him?! He's nothing more than his brain and appearance! Talking to him is like talking to a tree!
And why the hell did I even try?!
I sneered at him when he glanced at me again.
Oh ano?! Titingin ka pa! Ang pangit naman ng ugali mo!
"'Yon si Mendoza?" Narinig kong tanong ng isang kaibigan niya bago sila sabay-sabay na bumaling sa akin.
"Nice taste, Leon," pang-aasar pa nila.
Lalo akong mainis. Mabilis akong bumalik sa upuan ko at padabog na kinuha ang gamit ko. Kahit nasa pintuan pa sila ay walang imik akong lumabas para lampasan sila.
"Nako, mukhang hindi kayo compatible," tawanan pa nila. "Same charges repel, ika nga."
"She's not even my type."
When I heard that from Leon, I grabbed my cellphone angrily and texted my friend.
To: Mill
Iinom din ako. This day is nothing but stress!