^^ play when u see ***
"Just do it!"
"No I can't! It's too much pressure!"
It's been two weeks since the whole fight with Harry. In said weeks, I've been extremely busy. I finished all my college applications plus all my backups.
Zayn's standing over my shoulder while I sit on the couch in front of my computer with the 'Submit Application' button. I don't know what to do. When I applied to Cardiff University, it wasn't this nerve racking. These colleges I've applied to are really hard to get into, and don't get me wrong, so was Cardiff, but the acceptance rate for these are half of Cardiff's.
"Can we just review over it one more time?" I look back at him, batting my eyelashes so he'll agree. But we've already reviewed this first one four times.
"Noelle! We still have Columbia, Barnard, King's, Sarah Lawrence, and Fordham. If you don't submit NYU, I will." He teases me by hovering over my keyboard.
I jump when his finger makes contact with the submit button. "No no no. I'll do it, I'll do it."
He grins to himself and watches me wince as I move my cursor around the bright green button. My leg is bouncing unknowingly out of anxiety. This is the most nervous I've ever been in my entire life. And I'm saying this after being held at gunpoint.
At first I didn't want to apply to any of these colleges. All of their tuitions are extremely expensive and I wasn't sure if it was worth it. But Zayn insisted he paid for it, even though I told him a million times I don't care about going to some fancy school. But he was persistent. He said I can pay him back after I become the best nurse there ever is. Having Zayn around through all this has been so helpful. He knows a lot more about this kinda stuff than I thought.
I grimace when the screen pops up with a congratulations and confetti. I did it. I submitted my first application.
"Holy shit! I did it!" My mouth falls open with excitement and I immediately turn to throw my arms around Zayn.
"Let's go celebrate." He smiles, tugging at my hand to get me off the couch.
"Slow down now, we still have five left to go." I pull his hand down, signaling for him to sit back down.
He sinks back onto the couch and throws his around the arm of it. I start going to the other tab to submit Columbia, and then a random thought pops in my head.
"Zayn, aren't applications due before the spring?"
"Mhm." He knows where I'm going with this.
"Then how come all these colleges conveniently made an exception for me, someone who's submitting applications four months after the deadline?" I raise my eyebrows, pushing him to answer my instigating question.
"Hmm, well let's just say I slipped all of them a few extra thousand." He smirks.
"Zayn! That's not fair to everyone else who applied. Plus, I don't want you to be spending money like that on me." I push at his shoulder.
"You said you wanted to go to school, so we made it happen." He raises his eyebrows up and down, then spreads another knowing smile along his lips.
My expression turns into a confused one. "We?"
"I meant me and my money." He smiles and blinks rapidly. His answer sounds odd, but I choose to ignore it.
The next few hours are filled with submitting all the applications, eating lunch, and showering. We all sat at the table together for the first time in the 20 days we've been here. It was sort of quiet but not too bad. Zayn and Harlow talked most of the time. Me, Harry, and Niall kind of just sat there and observed silently. Harry and I have had a good amount of interactions recently. Niall, Harlow, Harry, and I decided a schedule for who gets the groceries each week. This week it was me and Harry. We talk a little bit on the drive and sometimes on the phone when I lose him in the store. But usually as soon as we get inside, we disperse and act as if we don't even know each other.
I like it that way honestly. I don't like it when we both are forced to talk. These grocery trips are nice. Peaceful. The four of us universally decided to take at least one person with us when we go. It isn't safe to go anywhere alone. Even Harry's not allowed to go to bars or whatever when he's bored.
There isn't anything else about Lethal because well... there's nothing really happening. Thank God. Ever since we came here, I've been feeling secure. Physically and mentally. I almost want to thank Harry and Niall. Wait no. No I don't.
But these two weeks have been nice. Stressful, but nice.
This is good. I feel good.
***
June 11th, 2019
Harry Styles
"You like that?" I whisper those three words in her ear for what feels like the hundredth time.
All she does in response is whimper a little against me. When are they gonna come out here and talk to me? I'm here to talk about what happened a week ago. The fish and chips incident wasn't an accident and I know it too. But telling Noelle that would complicate things. She doesn't understand all this and I don't want her to. But I need to talk to the team in person.
I've been sitting in this warehouse for almost fifteen minutes, waiting for one of them to show up. I really wish we would get rid of these slutty assistants. It's not a good look. They're not even smart. All they're good for is just standing there and looking pretty. They don't even help. If Zayn listened to me and got actual, smart girls to work for us, everything would be a lot easier. Especially for me. It took this girl only five minutes to straddle me when I walked into the room.
My attention falls from her thighs to the warehouse doors when one of our male assistants bursts through.
"Sorry H. We've been busy." He tosses me my phone that I haven't had for a week. I lift the girl off my lap and on her own feet, and with that, I'm charging towards our office.
Zayn, Niall, and Astro are standing around our 'planning table' when I walk in. A few others I can't remember the names of are organizing some papers a few feet away from us. They all have disappointed looks on their faces for some fucking reason.
"You said a week so I gave you a week. Now give me a game plan." I glare at Zayn. Both my palms are planted straight on the table.
They all look at each other in silence. I can't exactly tell what they're looking around for. The fact I handed over my personal phone for this stupid thing or the fact that they've wasted my time.
After another awkward moment, Niall speaks up. "She doesn't want to see you, that's for sure."
"I don't give a rat's ass about that. The day at the fish and chips cart, we all concluded that that was Lethal. I recognized the symbols on their shirts the moment I saw them. Niall, Zayn, Astro, and I know them better than anyone else in this room. So you're telling me, none of you can think of something to do about them when you've known them for five or more years plus with an extra week to plan?" I slide my tongue across my bottom lip when I finish speaking.
"We texted her on your phone. We figured she would reply to you rather than any of us here. I even got closer to her friend to make this easier. But she won't budge. She's gotta be fucked up right now, with her mom gone and the whole shooting thing." Niall has his arms crossed over his chest.
"I also put an app on your phone that'll track hers. Niall traced Noelle's phone from Harlow's. That way, we can keep an eye on her. We don't know what Lethal has planned next." Astro runs his hand over his stubble.
I twist my lion ring back and forth. "Okay. You sent some texts and you installed an app on her phone. Now what?"
"Now we wait." Zayn pitches in.
"Wait? Wait for what? Some magic to happen to get Lethal to go away? You all are fucking idiots." I huff and grab my phone off the table.
I turn around, furious. This is fucking insane. What have they been doing for a week? We're running out of time. Lethal's making a return and they're not planning to leave any time soon. I'm not going to put Noelle and her friend in danger because of something that they have against me. They insisted I sit this one out and let them figure it out. Astro told me he would plan everything. Niall told me he would take precautions. Zayn told me he would communicate with me the things that I needed to do to take care of this Lethal business. But apparently not.
It looks like they've been playing hopscotch this whole week since I was trying to gain more inside information.
I went to Lethal's hiding spot. But I think they moved it since last time. I met with some guy named Alex who said he would be a double agent. He's a member of Lethal who is dying to get out of it. I said I would help him. He agreed and he's now going to keep an eye on Noelle for 50 bucks an hour.
Through all this, all these shitheads did was send a few texts and wait. Looks like I have to do this on my own.
——
Okay so she's spooked. I showed her the app I'm following her on just to freak her out. I thought she would find it funny. She did not. At all.
But she's doing exactly what I want her to. I knew she would want to go to her beloved Mr Jane after what I just did, so I thought two steps ahead. I went to the police station beforehand and paid the receptionist $100 to not let Noelle in. But of course that little psychopath isn't going to give up, but that argument is just to stall while I go over to Mr Jane's office and get the printer access key to print some shit Lethal has done and some leverage for Alex. He might be helping me but I don't trust him. He's still in Lethal.
I look left and right to make sure no one can see me walking around the station. It's everyone's day off today, which works out perfectly for me. I bring my pointer finger and thumb to my lip, twisting it with a little bit of nervosity. Mr Jane doesn't like me as it is. This isn't going to be good if I run into him or get caught. I slowly turn the knob of his office door and step inside. I remember this room like it was yesterday. The day he caught me on the rooftop.
My eyes rise up to the camera in the right hand corner of the room. There's a little red light blinking on it, letting me know it's recording. This might just be my last straw. I walk over to the window behind his desk and open the latch. I pick up a rock sitting around his perfect little bushes and close the window again. I sigh, wondering how I ended up in this situation. I chuck the rock in my palm at the camera, temporarily turning it off. The receptionist is going to feel guilty and back out any second, so I have to hurry this up.
I open a few drawers, hoping to find some file or folder that has the key hidden in it. But after peeking through more than 10, I decide to give up. He's got to have this key out in the open somewhere, he was never smart enough to hide it.
I shuffle around some car keys and papers, but still, no sign of the printer key. I would just go to the library to print these, but that printer has been broken for 6 years and this is free. Library still made you pay $20 whenever you printed anything.
"Still lurking in my office without permission seven years later?" Mr Jane's voice makes my head hurt more than it is already.
"Hello Mr Jane." I spin on my heel to face him. I smile with a little guilt on my face.
"It's Detective Inspector Jane to you Harry. Now, why are you in my office?" His hands rest inside his pockets, which makes my eyes fall to the printer key around his neck.
I blink a few times then speak. "I needed to print something Detective Inspector. Well, unless you don't want your lovely daughter and Noelle to enjoy the rest of their afternoon."
His response to that is pinning me against a wall. Of course I could easily push him away, but I want to hear what he has to say.
"Don't you dare touch her, boy. Give me the damn documents you want to print and I'll print them for you. You keep your crummy hands off my printer and Noelle." His hazel eyes look pissed. I pull my lips together and nod sarcastically. He knows me. He knows what I'm like. But he won't touch me. He wouldn't dare.
He lets me go, my button down shirt left folded. At least I still get to print my pictures and documents. I fold one leg over the other to stumble outside of the room. I can already hear Noelle's voice in the other room. Perfect.
"No I can't. It's an emergency." She looks persistent.
"I'm sorry I really-" The receptionist's eyes dart to me, and as soon as they do, Noelle's head turns.
"What the actual hell are you doing here?! Followed me again huh?" She doesn't look very happy to see me.
"I swear to god if you hurt him Harry I'll fucking kill you! Where is he? Tell me right now!" She starts throwing her fists at my chest. I look down at her and catch her hand in mine. This is getting tiring.
"Calm down. He's fine." My voice is calm while my head wants to scream at her.
She just gets so hyper. It's not that serious. She'll survive without seeing that dick for two minutes. She acts like the world is falling apart when I don't answer her stupid questions. Noelle pauses her tantrum for a moment while I gently pull her into Mr Jane's office. I kick the door shut with my foot and lean against his desk.
But as soon as the door closes she starts again. "Where is he!"
"Did you not hear me? Calm the fuck down!" I drop her hand, lifting my back from the desk.
I zone out after that. I keep my focus on her eyes but I drift into thought. I need to go to the boys again and tell them everything I've accomplished in the past two hours. Shit, I have to get eggs and milk from the grocery store. I promised Zayn I would. He got it the past two weeks and we're really running low. Plus some salad. And chips. And some ice cream. You know what, I should just make a grocery list. I'll hit the store after she's done throwing her fit. I don't know what to do with her these days. She's fucking with everything I have to do with this Lethal stuff. She doesn't understand how much I'm doing for her. But I can't even tell her what I'm doing and why I'm doing it because she doesn't understand everything. This shit is a lot more complicated than a little shooting.
"So I'll ask again, where is Mr Jane?" Noelle waits for my response but I look back at her kind of confused.
I didn't hear a word of what she said. I could tell she was going on a rant about how her life isn't fair and shit, but if I'm supposed to say something in response to whatever she just said, I'm fucked.
I chew my lip for a second, then spit out, "Uh, he's just printing some papers in the back of the station."
That gets her to spin on her heel and walk out of the room, so I guess it worked. It would be kind of awkward if I just walked out now right? And I still need my papers from Mr Jane, so I guess another 5 minutes won't cost me much. God, and I have to pay the receptionist another $50 for not ratting me out when Mr Jane asked why I was allowed in. I'm really losing my money today.
"Please wake up, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." Her words immediately make my feet start walking in her direction.
My eyes widen at what I see when I turn the corner. Mr Jane, who was talking to me five minutes ago, is now in Noelle's lap with blood dripping from his head. My lips part, wanting to say something, anything. He was fine before. What the hell happened in the five minutes he was printing my pictures? If this is Lethal again, which is 100% is, I'm gonna need to get Zayn and Niall off their asses and over here.
Her head is slightly shaking when she turns to face me. I knit my fingers in my curls and almost want to apologize profusely when she turns to look at me with glossy eyes. I never meant for this to happen.
"What." Her voice is so shaky. "Did you do?"
I stare back at her, unsure what to say right now. I don't have an answer for her. Because I never meant for him to get hurt. That was actually the last thing on my to do list. I just wanted to get my papers and go. But this has turned into a bigger mess. Panic fills her tone when she calls 999. I mean what did I expect? One of the only people she truly cares about is hurt. And it's because of me. I shouldn't have left him alone back there. I should've known better than to come here. He was obviously the next person on their hit list. I just don't understand why they're coming after Noelle. Why not me? Or Niall? Or Zayn? Or Astro? They have a hundred times more to do with Lethal than Noelle. She's just some random girl in Cardiff. She doesn't get into any sort of trouble. She lives a normal life. So why her?
I finally stop staring at her and open my mouth. "Noelle. I swear I thought he was safe. I-"
But she hurries to interrupt me. "Get away from me."
She isn't even looking at me. God I just want to spill everything and tell her how much this isn't my fault. But some part of me feels guilty. I don't even know why. I couldn't have known. Or I could've. It's all just fucked now. I don't care who's fault it is, I just need to get my stupid papers and eggs and milk.
"Get. Out." Her eyes are still focused on Mr Jane and her hand is rubbing his greasy forehead.
"Noelle I said I didn't fucking plan—" She's interrupted me for what feels like the thousandth time.
"I said get out Harry! And don't come back!" She shrieks at me, my heart skipping a beat because I didn't expect it.
I need to fucking fix this. This isn't about Lethal anymore. Or the fact I have to keep some sort of relationship with her to keep an eye on her. I just can't let her go to bed tonight thinking, 'He's a shit person. I don't know why I've been putting up with him.'
I almost trip over my own feet when I turn around. I'm not looking at this awful sight anymore. I'm going to fucking end Lethal tonight and get rid of this mess.
——
So I got all the stuff from the grocery store.
I actually wasn't sure if I would have time for everything, but I did it. I told the boys to get whatever shit they can find to help take down Lethal. I know this isn't a ten minute thing, but I want to at least get started instead of just sitting around and waiting for somebody else to get hurt.
I walk into our warehouse with four brown Kroger bags wrapped around my arms. I trudge a little with the weight, signaling to a guy standing around to help me out. He takes two off my arm, leaving me with the other two lightweight bags. I look ridiculous.
I stride through the door they're all behind and immediately say, "Are we all ready?"
"Not really. We have another situation on our hands." Zayn sets down his duffel bag with equipment.
"Harlow texted me," Niall pitches in. "She's sticking with her dad for the next hour."
"Okay, so?" I raise my eyebrows slightly.
"Harry. Look at the note in front of you." Astro refers to the paper I didn't notice when I walked in.
It's a crummy piece of parchment. I unfold it carefully, darting my eyes back and forth between the boys and the note.
YOU CAN KEEP THE BLONDE ONE. BRUNETTES ARE MORE MY TYPE ANYWAYS.
— A.
"Fuck!" I practically crumble the note in my hand while throwing it, not even attempting to aim for the table.
That's it. They're gonna get her next.
I don't even have to say anything, Zayn follows me quickly while the rest of them stay back and study the note.
I nearly teleport to the car. I step on the gas so hard that I can almost hear the engine rev. I breathe heavily the whole way there with Zayn in the passenger seat trying to tell me to calm down. But I can't calm down right now. I can't fuck anything else up. I have to fix this.
I reach her house in a matter of minutes. I make sure to open the door with a loud thud to let her know I'm here. Or that someone's here. I don't give a fuck if Alex hears me. I want to kill him myself. He deceived me and took my money, so he's in for some hell.
My lips part when I hear her screams. What the hell is he doing to her?
"No! No! No! Please!" Her shrill sounds make me want to rip my ears out. But not because it's pissing me off. Because I can't physically bear to hear any more.
She screams one last time before she becomes quiet. I enter almost quietly, wanting to see what he's been doing. I want to start pounding at his head with a hammer after I see what state she's in. Her pants are halfway down her thighs and her face is drained of color. Are you fucking kidding me?
I don't hesitate to rip him off of her. He yelps, not expecting anybody. He falls to the ground obviously, which gives me the perfect opportunity to slam my foot on the bridge of his nose with the same amount of force I used on the accelerator to get here. I'm not showing him mercy after one little bloody nose. I crumple the collar of his shirt in my palms and shove him against the bedroom wall. He groans due to the impact, but I don't care. I do it once more, causing some shelves on the wall to fall on the floor.
Relief washes over me when Zayn walks in. I pass Alex's pathetic body over to him, which he drags across the living room and I assume sticks in the back of my car.
I leap over to her bed and bring her wrists to my mouth. She looks a little hesitant at first but then I guess she realizes what I'm trying to do. I tear open the tape restraining her hands and do the same to her feet. As soon as I finish doing so, I'm caught off guard when she throws herself in my arms. I don't hug her back at first, because I'm just trying to soak in whatever just happened. She smells amazing. Like coconuts and eucalyptus. Her hair is wet but it feels so good against my skin. I'm in no way admitting that I enjoy this. Because I don't. She just needed someone to comfort her.
"You're fucking crazy." I breathe into her neck. The smell of coconuts just gets stronger.
"I'm not the one who stalked someone. Oh, and almost killed a father figure." She jokes softly.
We stay here for a moment. Noelle's still lightly crying on my shoulder and my hands are still snaked around her waist. This is kind of awkward now.
"I hate you so much, you know that right? If I had the chance to kill you, I would absolutely take it. " Her words don't even surprise me. If I was her, I'd want to kill me too.
But the feeling's 100% mutual. "You think I don't absolutely despise you? I can't stand your presence. But I've kept you now. No asshole can touch you like that ever again. I'll kill every single of them if I have to. Because you, love, are worth saving."
I pause for dramatic effect. "Every. God damn. Time."
None of us say anything else. We're left to drift into thought.
What are you going to do to me Noelle?
a/n: DOUBLE UPDATE !!!