All around me was a frozen forest.
The leaves on the trees were white and there was a thick layer of snow that coated the ground. I could see heavy puffs of my own breath in front of me as I ran through it, though nothing else of my own body. It was as if I was reliving a distant memory, but this wasn't like anything I had experienced.
I couldn't see much except the immediate nature I was surrounded by, that is until I turned and entered a clearing.
A woman was sprinting fearfully up ahead. I tried to assess the threat she faced but I couldn't move. My eyes were stuck to the back of her head, watching as her thick curls bounced with each step.
It didn't dawn on me until the end that what she was running from, was me.
---
I gasp for air as I wake with a start, begging my body to become my own after a paralyzing dream. My blanket slips to the concrete floor of the loft as I'm unable to handle the sensation of being numb in my own mind, needing my limbs to move freely. I close my eyes and begin to take deep breaths, committing to a routine for handling nightmares. This imagery was unfamiliar, but that aspect of my life wasn't anything new to me.
Even after we triumphed against Kate and pushed her into the shadows, she'd still plague my mind almost every night. Gerard would be there sometimes, too, both of them haunting me in my most vulnerable hour. I'd wake up screaming sometimes, remembering everything I did for them, and everything they did to me. It was a cursed reminder that even as I tried to evolve that part of me wouldn't ever go away.
I ground myself in the present and a sense of calm finds me, that is until I open my eyes and glance at the clock on my bedside table. My nightmare soon becomes the least of my worries as I realize I hadn't set up my alarm last night. I was too exhausted when I got home and only showered then crashed, not preparing myself for the first day of my sophomore year.
"Not today," I whine, slipping out of bed swiftly.
I move rapidly through the loft, running into the thin hallway behind the open brick wall. The bathroom was at the end of it, but in the middle was a slender door that lead to the storage closet. I didn't have much of a wardrobe, so it felt useless to me to drag an entire dresser up to the loft for only a few items. That's when I came up with the idea to make the storage room into a closet of sorts, my clothes folded neatly on the rows of a metal shelf.
Lydia hated the idea, but since I gave her free rein in designing my bedspread, she accepted it and happily slapped deep red sheets onto my mattress while I put laundry in the same room as my mops.
My hands reach for the closest bits of clothes, not caring about any particular concept of an outfit. The only thing I do go out of my way to grab is the dark denim jacket that hung from a hanger on the top row of the shelf, the garment belonging to a certain Beta once upon a time. I couldn't take it with me to Mexico since the chances of it getting ruined were too great, so as I finally hold it in my hands after weeks of separation, a bit of calm returned to me.
I rush to the bathroom afterward to finish getting ready, brushing my teeth and hair respectively. The braid I twist my dark strands into isn't the neatest, and I can already hear my mother's voice berating me for such a sloppy design, but it'll have to do.
The presentation was not my goal right now, only speed.
I yank the heavy door to the loft open after gathering my necessary belongings. I don't bother to lock it behind me, a nasty habit I picked up from the actual owner of my home.
On my way down the numerous flights of stairs below, I spot Lori and Brett.
After the Dead Pool, it was fair to say Satomi's pack had been through more than most. She wasn't ready to lose any of the Betas she had left, so Derek offered her a few lofts in his building so that they could always have a place to escape to when they weren't out in the woods of Beacon Hills. Lori and Brett now only lived a few floors below me, and I enjoyed their company often since I didn't mind having some familiar faces around.
The rest of Satomi's pack had taken to me, too. After we all fought together on the last night of the Dead Pool, it was almost impossible for them not to feel different in how they saw me, especially Richard. He had always been vocal in his distaste for me, but now was a dear friend who vouched for my presence as Brett once had. He also owned a mechanic's garage in town and did most of the maintenance on my bike. I had a feeling that the reason he had actually grown to enjoy my company was due to my motorcycle rather than me, but I didn't mind.
He also gave the rest of the pack more than generous deals, claiming that was his way of repaying us for helping to save his family. Stiles was probably the only one that didn't visit him, still attached to his trusty roll of duct tape to do his own repairs with.
"Morning, Jac," Lori greets me, beaming.
I pause to ruffle her dirty blonde hair, happy to sacrifice a second of my time to acknowledge her after being away for most of the summer. I continue on my path afterward, though, Brett still makes an effort to speak with me.
"Someone's in a rush," he points out with a condescending smirk
"Not all of us go to Devenford, jerk. Beacon starts today and I forgot to set my alarm," I explain hurriedly. He and Lori attended private school, so their schedule for this year luckily didn't pick up until next week. I could tell my rushing only amused them.
"Yeah, that's why you're going to public school," Brett retorts snarkily.
"Lori!" I call out in a commanding tone.
From the next flight of stairs, I hear Brett yelp painfully. I smile to myself as my young protégé defends me against her brother's snide comment.
"Thank you!"
After the Dead Pool, I had taken to training Lori and some of Satomi's other Betas. None of them wanted to be ill-prepared for another threat, so they were willing to pick up some defensive tricks from me. I mainly focused on Lori, not wanting her to have to rely on another person to keep her safe anymore. It also worked in my favor as she had grown to like me more than her brother, just a tad.
When I get down to the parking lot, I don't give my bike any time to warm up before heading out, something Richard lectures me about a lot. I put that in the back of my mind as I make my way to the high school. By the time I actually arrive, I try not to feel a sense of defeat as I realize I've completely missed the first period.
Large masses of students are transitioning to their next class and I push through them to enter the school itself. The halls are even more congested, and I bite back any resistance at the proximity of the crowd as I head into the thick of it, trying to move with the flow of students.
Just like my nightmares, my distaste for another person's touch lingered. With the pack, it was different, I trusted them and we'd worked through my boundaries, but with strangers, it was hard not to feel like I was slowly being closed in by unknown limbs. Seeing Liam and Mason at the end of the hall helped to ease my troubles. They were talking, both having light-hearted smiles on their faces that I mirrored out of reflex.
Mason still didn't know about Liam and I yet, but that didn't stop the three of us from growing closer. In fact, sometimes I even turned down hanging out with Stiles and Scott in favor of them. I told Liam I wouldn't have minded Mason knowing, but Liam was resistant considering Mason was still unaware of the world of the supernatural. I think he felt guilty about balancing two secrets and couldn't handle only confessing one.
A flood of soccer players entering the hallway makes me step aside, not wanting to get stampeded on by a bunch of broad-shouldered teens. I can't help but laugh as I realize Mason is trailing behind them closely, Liam abandoned. He only stops when he notices me, no embarrassment to be found over his stalking as he grins excitedly.
"You're back!" he says happily.
"Good to see you, too, bud." I chuckle.
Mason's gleeful eyes pass me, darting down the hall to watch the fluorescent jerseys fade with each second.
"Yeah, so I'd totally love to stay and talk-"
"But you're gonna go drool over sweaty soccer boys. I understand. Have fun." I smirk after interrupting him, allowing him to know there were no hard feelings.
"Missed you!" he shouts over his shoulder as he jogs after the team, focusing on his goals as a determined young man should.
I move to continue heading in Liam's direction but my pace slows when I realize he's already talking to someone else. A girl stands at a locker a few rows over from his. She's about his height with dark brown eyes that are filled with annoyance. Despite the attitude in her stare, there doesn't seem to be anything outrightly threatening about her, but the glare on Liam's face tells me that might be up for debate.
"Nice shorts," she says teasingly.
I take a peek at Liam's clothing and see he's wearing his lacrosse practice clothes, not typically an outfit he uses during actual school hours.
"Yeah, thanks. You know, I was wondering if you were still pissed off about the sixth grade, but I guess you cleared that up," he replies stiffly.
I watch them from the side, not sure if I wanted to willingly intrude on an awkward interaction that has nothing to do with me. Liam lived in Beacon Hills longer than I did, so it wasn't surprising to me that he'd recognize the new students in the wave of transferring freshmen this semester. This girl was obviously one of them, and by the sound of it, they had a tense history.
All I could hope for was that his reaction to her wouldn't be a repeat performance of when he first ran into Brett at last semester's scrimmage game. I don't think it would be so easy to hide him shifting in a crowded hallway like this.
"I'm not pissed off, Liam."
The girl smiles as she closes her locker. Her seemingly friendly gesture drops a second later, nothing but fury reflected in her dark gaze.
"I'm vengeful." With that, she snaps her lock shut and walks off up the stairwell nearby.
Liam groans and leans against the outside of his locker, his face pressed into the artificially blue metal. I finally move to stand beside him, and a second after I do so, his posture visibly relaxes and he lifts his head to meet my eyes, his senses alerting him to my presence.
"She seems nice," I say sarcastically, telling him I had heard the interaction.
He sighs as he shifts his body to face me. "Her name's Hayden and she's hated me since we were kids."
"What'd you do?" I ask, getting an offended expression in return.
"Why do you assume I did something?"I give Liam a pointed look at his question and his expression falls soon after.
"Okay, I might have done something," he mutters, making me chuckle.
"Want me to beat her up for you?" I joke rather than asking him to explain what happened, hoping it would make him feel better. It does, and I feel a deep sense of satisfaction at being responsible for his quiet laugh.
"No, that would make me feel bad for her," he replies, staring at me with a smile. A second later his content expression waivers.
"This sucks."
"Ouch," I say sarcastically.
Liam catches on and takes a discreet step closer.
"It's just that we barely have any classes together this semester. I hardly get to see you," he explains in a hushed tone, making sure no one passing by would overhear.
One of the worst parts about our current situation was that our time together was often scarce. We hung out a lot, but that was always in the presence of another member of the pack or in a public setting. There was never anytime for us to be us.
"We have the same free period," I remind him with a hopeful tone, though, Liam doesn't seem satisfied with that.
I can't blame him. That period would only give us about an hour together on two separate days of the week, and it wasn't even a guaranteed amount if outside factors prevented us from meeting up. Outside factors being Stiles.
He was already set on not letting Theo join the pack, sending more than a dozen texts to each of us just last night about it. I could already see him going on one of his long-winded rants about trust and was sure that would intrude on my time with Liam.
"Why don't we hang out tonight?" Liam suggests.
"Aren't you working out with Mason?'' I ask, familiar with his schedule.
Liam closes his eyes for a brief second, regret across his face.
"I keep forgetting," he mumbles to himself.
I wanted to reach out and run my hands across the lines of his face and smooth them out, but I couldn't. It was painful that I spent the majority of my life rejecting someone's touch, and now that I craved it, there was nothing I could do about it. Though, I tried my best not to let those moments of doubt impact us too greatly.
"It's okay," I whisper to him. "We don't have to rush anymore."
Liam's smile finds him again, calmed at the idea that now we were together, we could endure this. There wasn't any back and forth between us any longer. He knew how I felt about him, and I the same. Our time may have been limited to short conversations in dark corners, but it was time nonetheless.
"But I do have a favor to ask?" I add hesitantly.
"Anything for you," Liam replies instantly.
"Be nice to Stiles." I request and his posture shrinks.
"I take it back."
I resist the urge to laugh at his mild contempt for the Stilinski boy and continue.
"If we butter him up, Scott won't have as much of a problem with us being together. They'll balance each other out."
Liam and I had come to an agreement before I left for the summer that we'd tell the pack at the end of this semester about us. We figured it would be a decent time considering they'd be busy applying to college and getting ready for the end of their senior year, so we'd be the least of their worries. It would also help that at that point in time, it would be about a year that we had been together. Scott's worries about us "tempting fate" wouldn't matter when he realized that we'd been in a relationship the whole time and nothing horrible even happened.
It was a hopeful thought, but I didn't find myself resenting such a thing.
Still, we had to do everything in our power to minimize any backlash, which came in the form of Stiles. Between him and Scott, he was surprisingly the more understanding of the two when it came to Liam and I, despite them often butting heads. Liam and Stiles getting along would help the latter with lessening the blow of our lies to his best friend.
Liam's face softens as he listens to my idea, now understanding.
"We can use their codependency against them."
"Exactly," I smirk triumphantly.
Liam's eyes fall to my lips at the movement, and his upper body begins to lean forward. I reach up and lightly smack his forearm, pulling him out of whatever daze he had allowed himself to slip into.
"Sorry, your manipulation makes you irresistible," he murmurs teasingly, and I can practically feel my cheeks redden at his words.
I turn away, heading up the adjacent stairwell.
"Go to class, freak," I murmur, knowing he heard it. I smile to myself at his laughter behind me.
I head to my second period, wanting to officially begin my first day of the year. Although, before I can enter the classroom, I stop at the sound of someone urgently calling my name.
"Jac! Jac!" Stiles sprints towards me, his backpack jumping up and down behind him.
"What's wrong?" I ask him, my eyes darting all around as I grab ahold of his arm to pull him closer to me, already taking a protective stance in front of him as I prepare myself for an oncoming threat.
"Scott and I are gonna talk to maybe-Theo, see if we can catch him in a lie or anything evil."
I don't respond right away, starting at Stiles with a blank expression. I hoped he would have caught on to what that meant, but he simply stood there, waiting for me to say I'll happily go with him to interrogate a stranger.
"What do you mean 'maybe'?" I quote him in confusion.
"I don't think that's actually Theo. You didn't get my email about it?" he says.
"No, Stiles, and I thought someone was after you or something," I snap at him.
"Not that we know of," he responds without a hint of guilt. "Are you coming or what?"
I back away from him, inching closer to my classroom. The hall had already emptied as the next period began, and I wasn't going to miss another class this early into the year.
"I have Trig. I'm sorry."
Stiles' mouth hangs open slightly, genuinely offended and shocked at my refusal.
"I miss the days when you didn't care about your education!" he shamelessly shouts after me as I leave him standing in the hall all by himself.
I take a seat near the back of the classroom and begin to bring out the things from my bag. I place my notebook and textbook in front of me, ready to take notes, but freeze as I realize that the one thing I forgot to grab in my rush this morning was a pen.
"Idiot, Jac," I berate myself as I slump into my seat.
It was a minor inconvenience, there was no arguing that, but I had hoped today would be the start of something different. New beginnings may have felt like an impossible cliche to achieve before, yet I wanted them more than anything now. I craved the normalcy of a simple life, but apparently, that would have to wait another day.
A hand appears next to me, the person who was sitting at the desk to my right holding out a pen; an extension of my lost hope. I look up to the owner and find the girl Liam had been speaking to, Hayden.
"Need a pen?" She offers her spare, and I take it with a grateful nod.
"Thanks," I breathe out and she offers a polite hum in return. I smile as I scribble my name and the date onto the first page of my notebook, finding myself believing in something as fleeting as a fresh start once more.
~
||| A/N |||
Hayden has arrived!
Personally, I wasn't a fan of her at first but now she's one of my favorites. I don't like fanfics that demonize canon love interests instead of just writing them a different plot, so I hope that eases anyone's mind that was worried about that.
btw idc if you don't like Hayden, that's your entirely valid opinion, I'm just saying don't hate on her cause she's a love interest. That's hella weird.
Also, I know Derek's loft has an elevator and side room in the BTS of S3, but since it wasn't shown in the actual show more than in the bg I'm not writing it in lmao
<3