Y/N
"(Y/n) please let me in." Suna knocked on my door after several minutes.
I heard him and my mother talking when I left the room so I assumed he tried every possible thing to find a solution, because that's just how he is. He doesn't give up that easily on things he wants. It all has to be one big joke. It literally can't be real, after every little thing we have been through and finally thought that maybe it was all over, there is another big fucking thing ruining it.
I sat on the floor with my back against the wall next to my door.
I knew Suna wouldn't leave the other side of the door until I'd opened it so I reached up next to me, unlocked it and let him in.
He searched the room for me and finally saw me sitting on the floor next to my room, he just lowered himself on the ground and hugged me without saying anything, though his silence spoke more words than he probably intended to.
"Did you talk to her?" I ask, already knowing the answer, it just came out and I don't know why. I don't even want that question answered, I just want to forget that the last 10 minutes ever happened.
"Yes.. I did." He still didn't let go of me, his voice almost cutting off by how silent he suddenly was.
"I have to move?" It was more of a fact than a question, we both knew that.
And his silence gave me the final answer.
—
We sat there for god knows who long, just enjoying still being in each others presence.
But we both decided it wouldn't do either of us any favour just sinking into pity and sadness, so we decided we'd enjoy the time we had as long as we were able to.
Let's just make the best of it.
Which basically means, we both know it will end badly and we both cry about it in our own heads but we act like we're okay, we don't want to see each other sad so we both bottle it up and act like it's going to be okay. Because it's always going to be okay, right?
Right.
Fucking bullshit.
But we did what we could to just enjoy the time, and even if we had a moment where I forget that all of this had to end in a few weeks, it felt like it'd crush my heart all over again.
Of course I had to tell Michi and if I'm being completely honest, I'd expected her reaction to be a little less sad than it was.
Michi and i stayed friends even though I've already moved a couple of times, so why would it be different this time? We always stayed in contact.
If Michi and I could keep up our friendship up this whole time, what's stopping Suna's and my relationship?
That was literally the only thought that gave me hope.
It's not like we're living a hundred years in the past, there's multiple ways to communicate with someone who lives several and hundreds of miles away, so where's the problem?
Even though I had the answer myself, I didn't want to acknowledge it.
It wouldn't be the same.
Not seeing him everyday, being able to talk to him face to face, not being able to look at his eyes. Not being able to kiss him.
And the worst of all, it felt like it'd burden him more than it would if we were just to break up.
I know we both agreed just to make the best of our time, but we talked about it sometimes obviously, we had to.
Bringing up the option of a long distance relationship didn't seem to excite him much, it didn't excite me either. But it was the only option of us staying together, and seeing him not liking the only thing we had for our relationship to last hurt like hell.
But he decided he'd try, for my sake.
He never really gave me an explanation why he disliked the idea of us staying together with much distance between us, but I didn't question it. I figured it'll only hurt me more.
It was the last week before we had to move.
Almost all of my stuff was already packed up and I only had the most important things out. Since I still spent the rest of the time with Suna it didn't really bother me.
But the closer the date got where I had to leave, the more it felt like I had drifted away from Suna, like he already closed that chapter of his life and was ready to move on.
It felt.. different.
Maybe I just imagined it because I wasn't ready to let all of this go.
I finally found people I'd like and also liked spending time with, I was able to see Michi everyday. And I found Suna.
I'm not ready to leave all of this behind.
When I woke up it was Monday morning, my last school week before I had to move. Of course I had to move schools too, we moved to a whole new prefecture. So that also meant having to talk to new people, one of the many things I didn't look forward to.
I turn around in bed to find it empty. It has been like that the past two days, it's almost like he's trying to ignore me and get out of my way as often as he possibly can without it being obvious.
It's so weird, at this point I basically moved into his house and now it feels like I see him even less than when I still slept at my own house. It's the worst feeling.
I knew I had to talk to him, I don't know if I wanted to know the truth on why he is acting like he does, or if a lie would hurt more. Though I don't want him to suffer just because he thought it would make me happy.
"I don't really like the idea of long distance"
"But if it's what you want"
If it's what I want.
I want him to try for me. Would it be better if we just ended this for good? I thought that after everything happened we finally could live in peace, but if a few miles seem to be a dealbreaker for him I guess I can't change anything.
I got out of bed and walked down to the kitchen, we both still had time before school since we both didn't have any class on first period today.
As i walked down the stairs I saw him talking to his mother.
I wish I had a relationship like that with my mum, it just seemed so... calm whenever they talked to each other. I noticed it over the time I spent here, I was jealous of their bond and I'm thankful for his mother letting me stay here. She grew to be a person I really trusted and could easily talk to, though I felt bad comparing her to my mother. But she was there for me and I appreciated that.
Any conversation between my mum and I always ended up in a fight or in me feeling bad.
As much as I hate interrupting conversations, I needed to talk to him now. I needed to know what was going on or if I was just overthinking this whole situation again.
I walked down the rest of the stairs into the kitchen and the both of them looked at me like I was a ghost.
Oh god I don't like this at all
"Sorry to interrupt but can I steal your son for a second before we head to school?" I looked at her with a pleading face.
It was bullshit, she knew we didn't have to leave for another hour but she didn't question it,
"Of course darling, I was done anyway." She said looking one last time at Suna and left the room.
I waited until I heard her bedroom door close.
"Please tell me I'm overthinking." I decided to go right to the point.
Though it probably wasn't the best idea since Suna just gave me a confused look, "what?".
I sighed, "please tell me there's nothing wrong or nothing to worry about, I don't fucking kno—"
But before I could finish he shut me up with a kiss.
After pulling away, I didn't look at him, everywhere but his face.
"Babe," he tilted my head up to hold eye contact, guess not looking at his face isn't an option. "You're overthinking, nothing is wrong and you have nothing to worry about besides what you want for breakfast." He said sincere, not breaking eye contact once.
I stayed silent and didn't even notice my frown.
Then why did he act so weird?
And as if he was reading my mind..
"I know what this is about and I'm sorry, I've been acting cold with you but I—" he cut himself off as if he couldn't get out what he wanted.
Like as if it got stuck in his throat.
"I'm not ready to let you go," now he frowned too. "I don't think I ever could."
Who knew that all it took was a little bit of reassurance. God damnit I need to learn how to communicate.
I was the first to break eye contact because I pulled him close, "we still have some time."
"I know."
—
After this disaster of emotions we had this morning we arrived at school, today would be the last day I'd see him and his team practise since I could only attend his practise once a week, otherwise our schedules don't match up.
I made no real effort in my classes since I'd switch schools in less than two weeks. I hate when realisation hits, I won't be able to come to this school anymore in a week.
I really started to like it here though, so much has changed and to think that this damn place has changed me and now I'd have to leave it all behind.
But I quickly threw that negative thought out of my head. The only thing in my mind right now was spending time in class and breaks with Michi and afterwards practise with Suna.
Him and especially Osamu really got me into volleyball again and I'm grateful for that, I forgot how much fun it could be and what the feeling of a successful attack was. How satisfying the looks of the other teams were when they didn't expect the next move.
I'd never thought I could enjoy it again. But the right people make it possible.
I was thinking of joining the volleyball team at my new school, but that's still just a thought in the back of my head, I haven't told anyone. I think Suna would go crazy in the most positive way there is, I know he'd be happy. I'll tell him when I made my final decision though.
It was now almost afternoon as I walked into the gym and most of the team was already gathered there.
I didn't spend every practise here, only sometimes. And mostly I'd just assist as an unofficial second manager type of thing, but sometimes I'd help the team and they let me play too since I wasn't the worst setter after all.
Osamu always said I underestimated myself and how good of a setter I'd be but I just think he's overdoing it a bit at that point and it's really not good for my ego.
Normally they'd practise certain stuff like attacks, serves, or other simple stuff in order to play a good game, but today they played against each other.
I sat on the bench watching them gather up their small teams and waited for them to start.
When Suna came up running to me I thought he just needed water or a towel but he suddenly pulled me up by my hands, "will you do us the honour of playing one last game with us before you leave?".
It was really hard to hide my grin.
"Do I really have a saying in this?" I took a quick look over to the team and saw them chatting and Osamu throwing a look over me that answered my question.
As if I could ever say no.
But before I had chance to look back at Suna I shrieked and I was suddenly in the air being carried by him towards the rest of the group,
"I'll take that as a no" I laughed.
—
I stepped out of the shower only to find an oversized tee from Suna and a pair of sweatpants laying there on the counter.
He started doing this when I first slept over and hasn't stopped since, not that I'm complaining, I love him doing these small things for me.
After drying my hair I walked towards Suna's room and heard the doorbell ring.
I looked at the digital clock on his nightstand.
10:00 P.M.
Suna's parents were home and my mum also knew I spent the nights here by now, at least the last few days since she understood that I wanted to spend as much time I have left with my boyfriend.
Suna was in his sister's room since she couldn't sleep and asked him to read him something. Their relationship is too cute.
Who the fuck would want anything right now?
I tried to sneak a peek through the bedroom door but since it was upstairs I only see a bit of the front door.
Suna's father went to open the door, "Good evening" a small pause, "how can I help you officers?"
Officers?
I also then saw Suna walking to the front door staying a few steps behind his father.
I now could recognise two people standing at the front door, I could only make out the lower half of their bodies but I saw the uniforms.
One of the officers spoke up "We were informed that (Y/N) (L/N) is staying with you, may we speak with her?"
My heart started beating so fast it felt like it was running a marathon around the world and back. I noticed my hand starting to shake.
I didn't do anything wrong? Wait is somebody dead? What if someone spread something false about me and they think I killed someone? I don't even want to know what they would do to 18 year olds in prison and I'm too young to find out. Oh my god, I definitely watched too many true crime documentaries.
Right or I could just listen and not freak out.
I tried to calm myself down and opened the door a little more, if they wanted to talk to me they probably would sooner or later, there's no harm in going there by myself right?
Before approaching the stairs I stopped, Suna's father sounded worried, he tried to get them to talk through him and asked what is going on.
"Sir I can assure you, we just want to talk to her for a witness report, it is a family matter. We'd like to speak with her privately." The female officer said.
Family matter?
Oh my god. My mother.
I saw Suna walking up the stairs searching for me.
He saw me already being shocked and probably put 2 and 2 together and knew I was listening.
"Hey, hey" he said quickly to me. "Breathe. Okay? It will be okay, they just want to talk".
I looked up to him and just nodded, I hesitated at first but slowly made my way down the stairs and heard Suna following right behind me.
—
Everything went by in a blur the next day, I was too nervous to get out most things and barely can remember the details they told me.
My mums boyfriend got arrested. Our neighbour called the police after seeing what he did to my mother since he was as dumb as he looks and apparently choked her right in front of our house. Or at least had his hands on her.
I can't remember and I don't know if I want to.
They want me to make a statement as a witness because 'the daughter had to see something remotely similar'
She did but she was too afraid to say anything against that bastard.
After a few hours at the station being scared as shit and finally being able to leave after my testimony, Suna waited for me outside.
Without saying anything he just pulled me into a hug.
"I'm so proud of you" he said to me after a while.
I pulled my eyebrows together and looked lazily up to him, I was so exhausted, "Why?".
"You went through so much shit, I put you through so much shit to say the least and you're still this amazing person. It takes a lot to be as brave as you were today you know that? I couldn't be happier than being with someone like you."
God he made my heart feel like he's filling it up with everything he's saying to me.
Though I couldn't hold back and I didn't want to, I needed some humour after all of this shit, after all it seemed like a big joke. I needed to lighten the mood, I didn't want to live in this depressed shit anymore.
"Someone like me? I can introduce you to my cousin if you want, she's a lot like me." I buried my head in his chest to hide my smile.
He spun me around and peppered me with kisses, "Don't." Kiss "You." Kiss "dare." Kiss "Say something like that again." Kiss.
I looked up to him and saw him jokingly glare at me, "I mean it, you mean so much to me it worries me sometimes".
"I love you" I kissed him.
Or at least I tried, he pulled back until our lips were only inches apart and I could feel his breath on me.
"I love you too".
I couldn't help but sigh when a wave of relieve and realisation hit me.
And again before he could kiss me, I was the one who excitingly pulled back this time and he seemed confused considering his look.
"Holy shit" I paused how didn't I think of this? "Do you know what that means" I said with probably the biggest smile I had in a long time, and the most hope.
"It means that I love you?" He looked at me like I was a crazy person. I forgot he couldn't read minds though he was pretty good at reading mine, but he didn't know what went through my head at the moment.
"No!" I said, he tilted his head like a confused puppy, I had to laugh and I think he reconsidered his entire relationship with this crazy person in front of him. "I mean yes! But if that bastard really goes behind bars my mother doesn't have to worry about me being in his presence anymore!" I said probably way too excited.
But after a second it seemed like he finally caught up because his eyes widened and he pulled me in for a kiss.
"Oh my god" was the only thing he repeated multiple times before forming a proper sentence, "you don't have to move".
"I don't have to move"
We said at the same time and surprise, kissed again.
And for the first time in a long time, everything felt like it was going to be okay as long as I have him by my side, I wouldn't know how many breakdowns I would've had without him. He and the people around me made me realise that I could do whatever I want and leave the past where it belonged. I learned how to to be excited for the next day and I knew I was going to do everything to keep it like this.
I looked at him hesitantly and he noticed that I wanted to say something but couldn't get it out.
He brushed a hair out of my face "what's going on in that pretty head of yours right now?"
And yes I still blushed at cheesy comments like that, but I wouldn't change a damn thing about that.
The last few weeks I've made my mind up about what I wanted to do once we moved, one of the things was about joining the volleyball team at the new school. But now since the plans have changed once again and I made my choice, I knew I wanted to play again.
I looked away for a second and recollected my thoughts, as silly as it sounds it was a big thing for me to admit, considering my past and all. But like already said, I'm leaving the past where it is and moving on.
"I was thinking about joining the volleyball team, like.. officially"
I was afraid of his reaction, did he think I was good enough for a team? Did he think I was ready? I didn't want to look at him but he took that decision from me by taking my chin in his hand and leaning towards me.
Finally finding the courage to look at him all my worries suddenly disappeared. If this is what being loved feels like, then I never want it to end, if I had to go back and live through everything to get right back here where I am now, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
"God I love you so much."
yea I could get used to that.
The End
And with that I want to say that I am so grateful for all of your support, comments, likes and everything.
I know it's been a while, but I've deleted Wattpad for some time and cringed at my own story 💀 but I re downloaded it and saw all the new (and old) comments and it gave me some motivation to at least give this story the happy ending it deserves.
I first intended to write a sad ending but tbh I wasn't really feeling that. I hope you all can forgive me for leaving you hanging for almost a year lmao. Like I said I don't even know if some people are even interested in still reading stuff like this but I had fun writing it.
Thank you for reading <3