"How are you?"
It was early in the morning—it was not even 7 AM yet when Jisoo sipped her hot café latte in a little Italian restaurant somewhere in Los Angeles. Seulgi had white foam resting on the top of her upper lips forming a moustache made by the cappuccino she took a sip from and that made Jisoo giggle. It had been a while since the last time they could have a little date like that (well, it was more like it had been a while since they could civilly co-exist in a space with just the two of them).
It was probably the busiest Blackpink had ever been; between the preparations for their world tour, a comeback, Coachella, and guest-starring in some US shows for their US debut, Jisoo tried to fit a Seulgi, who was there in LA as well for Red Velvet's Red Mare Concert Tour.
"You're such a dork, Kang Seulgi," Jisoo chuckled as she wiped the foam off Seulgi's face, "I've been well. Thank you for asking," she smiled weakly. To that answer, Seulgi's eyes automatically formed two crescents and Jisoo could not help herself from the urge of smacking the dork she once fell in love with.
Still as adorable as ever.
It all started in 2016—a few months after Blackpink debuted when Jisoo met Seulgi in a convenience store thinking so hard about which snacks to buy—it was stupid, Jisoo claimed, but Seulgi made it as if it was a matter of life and death. It was probably one of the most bizarre situations Jisoo had ever encountered, but from that moment on, Jisoo had slowly yet surely fallen for the older; her innocence and naivety were so adorable in Jisoo's eyes that she felt as if she had to protect the bear at all costs, but as time went by she figured out that Seulgi was more than just an innocent naive kid, Seulgi was responsible and she was mature in her own way, she was calm and sure—Seulgi was Jisoo's peace of mind.
It was not long until they found themselves dating each other. Seulgi was patient, gentle, and kind with an odd sense of humour to most but Jisoo probably came with the same oddness of sense of humour that they clicked the moment they laughed at things most people would find silly. It went without saying that her time with Seulgi was probably the happiest time in Jisoo's life, but then, the love she had, somehow took a new form along the way and turned into a distraction for Jisoo—at least, that was how it felt to Jisoo; it felt as if Seulgi distracted her and it was only a year after Blackpink's debut, and at that time all she could think was she could not risk her career over a distraction.
That was why Jisoo felt that what she had with Seulgi (the relationship in general) only grew beyond her control and Jisoo just refused to handle anything uncontrollable. The peak of the chaos happened when Seulgi joined Sunmi, their sunbaenim, on a reality show in 2018; it was when everything finally broke loose for Jisoo and she realised she was too immature to fall in love with another. So she chose to break off everything with Seulgi, who did not seem to have anything against the idea.
"I'm surprised you even accepted my invitation at all," Jisoo weakly said, considering how it ended between the two of them. The colour on Seulgi's face shifted, it was gloomy, as if the clouds from the sky decided to shade Seulgi's ever-so-bright face and the sight of that particular Seulgi broke her heart because Jisoo knew very well that she was the one who did that.
"It's been a while after all," Seulgi shrugged, "And I'd be lying if say I don't miss you because I do. Every single day," to Seulgi's words Jisoo was frozen. She did not expect that, but it indeed had been a while; a pretty long while that was enough to make Jisoo think and grow without Seulgi—to find her own self and make peace with herself.
"I want to apologise. I think I'm being unfair for treating you the way I did," Jisoo finally explained the meaning of her invitation as her mind took her to a year prior, facing her phone when she contacted Seulgi last. Breaking up over a text with no explanation—regardless of whatever Seulgi's reaction was, Jisoo realised she had acted immaturely and unfairly; it was either Seulgi never cared for them in the first place or her patience was longer than the Great Wall of China that the bear was able to put a smile on her face after what happened (deep down Jisoo knew, it was never the first possibility).
"I've been trying to reach out to you because I've been wanting to see you in person. To apologise properly; like how I was supposed to, but it's never been good timing," Jisoo hung her head low because there was nowhere in South Korea where they could have their privacy.
Seulgi who had been sitting across from Jisoo started to study Jisoo's face as if trying to confirm the words fell out of the younger's heart-shaped lips. She was hurt in the past, of course, she could not blatantly believe whatever it was Jisoo told her and her first instinct was to seek the truth between the younger's eyes. But between those eyes, all she could see was uncertainty; which was simply a foreign sight for her to see because Jisoo was everything but unsure.
It had been months, almost a year, since she received the 'Let's break up' text from Jisoo and nothing more. It was a three-word text and all Seulgi could do at that time was replying an 'okay' before she broke down in her room wondering what she did wrong. She did not ask, however, although she had all the right to. After all, she probably had seen it coming; they were in love, but probably they were too young to understand how to love each other. Their circumstances and situation were not the best environments either. So it was only wise to call it off at that time. Seulgi loved Jisoo enough to understand that it was better to let the younger smile even if she was no longer in the picture. That was how much Seulgi loved Jisoo.
"Is everything alright?" Seulgi knew Jisoo well, the face Jisoo wore at the moment was her 'I want to say something but I do not know where to start' face. It usually required Seulgi to nudge the woman a bit before the words came falling down like the Niagara Falls.
But that time, Jisoo just shrugged. Was everything alright? She wondered. To be honest, she did not know what had gotten into her that she invited Seulgi for a quick breakfast without thinking twice (she knew exactly what had gotten into her, she just did not want to admit that she missed the older girl, otherwise all her attempts to be okay with her own decision would have been for nothing).
Jisoo processed her surroundings in specific ways. It all probably started on January 25th, earlier that year when the news about Jennie and Kai parted ways was brought up to the public. It was supposed to bring relief to everyone involved—if it was ever that easy, but everyone, who knew, knew that there was no coming back from that because the damage had been done, yet even so, although the things would never be the same for the two and there were parts of their relationship that were no longer salvageable, Jennie and Lisa still tried to go on with whatever left.
It made Jisoo think back about her relationship with Seulgi; she knew the damage had been done but their relationship was not at all unsalvageable. Sure, they had grown apart in the past year, but they could not deny the fact that they were once best friends. And although Jisoo would be way over in her head to think that they could be best friends again—that much she understood, still in her heart, she wished there was a possibility (at that point, she practically would just take all that she could get even if the possibility was just as thin as the skin of her teeth) that they could mend things and start over, at least being friends with each other.
Because if Jennie and Lisa could come back from such a thing then maybe, maybe, Seulgi and she could too.
"Are you alright?"
Seulgi had to ask again, it was not that she meant to pry, it was just that Jisoo had taken too long to respond to her question that she started to feel that something was indeed not alright.
"Yes, yes I am. It's just—"
Seulgi was worried about whatever might fall out of Jisoo's mouth next. She could not have her heart broken by Jisoo again, because if that were to happen, she knew that time she would not be able to make it out alive. She simply would not survive, was all she wanted to say.
"—Can we start over?" There it went.
A surge of relief flushed over Seulgi's whole being. It was a relief indeed, Jisoo had her heart hammered for a while then.
"That's... Unexpected," Seulgi commented but failed to hide her smile miserably. She released a breath she did not know she had been holding.
"Oh, I mean starting over as friends. Well, you see, Jennie and Lisa went through Jennie and Kai dating news like that and they still survive, so I'm wondering if, you know, we can try too and start over as friends," Jisoo tried to explain herself but it seemed like Seulgi was catching something else between Jisoo's words.
Hold that thought.
"Jennie... And Lisa?" Seulgi asked, doubting her own hearings. So it was Jennie—the someone Lisa was seeing; the one who was participating in Irene's heartbreak. What kind of drama was it?
"Haven't I ever mentioned that to you?" To which Seulgi shook her head lightly and replied, "Not in my memory, no."
"Ah, sorry, I—Well, but really, I sort of just assume everyone who sees them will just know that there is something between the two. Don't you?" Jisoo squinted her eyes at Seulgi asking for the older's opinion.
"Are you sure?" Instead of answering, Seulgi asked Jisoo back instead—as if taunting the woman, "Because, from the way I see it, Lisa had her arse fallen for my eonni."
"Your... Eonni?" Jisoo tiptoed, wondering if the eonni Seulgi meant was the eonni she had in her mind.
"Joohyun Eonni."
"Joohyun Eonni?!"
It was a split second of a surprise then Jisoo burst into a hefty laugh. If Seulgi was joking then she was very much sailing smoothly. That was a good one.
"You're bluffing," Jisoo said as she drew little breaths between her stringing laughter.
"I wish."
Seulgi's face made Jisoo stop her laugh at once. Was she not joking?
"You are bluffing, aren't you?"
"Why would I be joking about something like that, Jisoo?"
Well, that was true. But if that was true then what the hell was Lisa doing with Jennie?
"No—I mean, they're trying, Seulgi. Lisa and Jennie are trying to keep their relationship afloat and now you say Lisa loves eonni? That just doesn't make sense to me."
"I wouldn't have even said that if I didn't see it with my two eyes," Seulgi said as she eyed Jisoo who was looking back at her as if giving her the stage to continue her words. Jisoo was intrigued obviously. That was news to her—like a 'I didn't see it coming' news, kind of news. Plus, she could not fathom the whole thing; she never took Lisa for someone who could possibly toy with someone else's heart. Hell, Lisa could never possibly do that. She just did not have it in her. So what was all that about?
"Back in August when eonni was hospitalised, Lisa visited her."
So? Jisoo asked Seulgi inaudibly, yet it was plastered on her face; visiting a sick friend did not mean you love them romantically, did it?
"We were worried, Jisoo-yah, but Lisa, she was worried worried. She spiralled out of control. Now, have you ever seen Lisa get so worried she is practically about to flip a whole damn hospital upside down? And I'm not even exaggerating, Jisoo-yah. She was not the Lisa I know—it was as if she was possessed; she was loud and demanding. I don't think she even realised how she was acting back then. Only by the time she saw Irene sleeping peacefully that she was finally breathing. If it wasn't for the situation, I swear to God I would've laughed so hard seeing her face. I have no other explanation, Jisoo."
Lisa lost her cool?
Was it even possible?
Jisoo knew Lisa more than Seulgi did—obviously, but if Seulgi's story was even half true, then she probably did not know Lisa the way she believed she did. Lisa, despite being loud and dorky, was calm. She only ever wore happiness on her sleeves. If she was bothered or if her mood was dampened or if anything, anything went south—or basically the direction she did not approve of, she would lock herself in her room and did not dare to touch the presence of another.
Because Lisa was a happy virus.
Even when she was worried, she always put her cool head first before she acted on anything; like that time Jennie twisted her ankle it was swollen so terribly it made Jisoo cry, but Lisa was the one who took care of Jennie carefully. Jisoo had seen a worried Lisa and it was nothing like the worried Lisa in Seulgi's story.
There could only be one explanation.
"She does care about eonni a whole lot."
"That's one way to put it," Seulgi scoffed before continuing her words, "I just think it's crazy, you know."
"What is?"
"To me, it's like the only people who don't know Lisa loves Irene Eonni are Lisa and Irene Eonni."
"It just sounds about right though," Jisoo sighed understanding the situation.
Jisoo knew very well why Lisa was so dense when it came to loving another; the kid had never experienced love in any other form except the one she had with Jennie. So to have an Irene suddenly appear out of nowhere offering her all those she had no idea of could only be confusing for her. It was expected though, considering how she had only ever seen one way of loving another romantically; perhaps, she was not aware that love could come in so many ways. She had fallen for a second person, without her being aware of it.
"They're fools, I'm telling you," Seulgi laid out her conclusion.
That was not wrong.
But then what ought they to do?
They were not in the position to interfere because they respected and loved everyone involved. So all they could do was just pray or wish or whatever it was that somehow, someway, all of them would come to their senses and figure out their relationships the way it was supposed to be.
Seulgi and Jisoo walked out of the cafe when the time was moving away, a little over 8. At least, that meeting had lightened Jisoo's burden—although she went home carrying an extra load from the comical love affair involving her members and a member from another group.
Seriously.
That was when Seulgi suddenly pulled her away from the cafe and entered a little alley nearby.
'What now?'
"Jisoo-yah," the bear whispered once they stopped and stood face-to-face. They were so close that a little nudge from her back would have ended up colliding her lips to Seulgi's—so Jisoo's mind dared to speak.
"H—Hmm?" Jisoo's hitched breath hitched her voice in the process, cracking it and highlighting her nervousness. 'Get a fucking grip, Kim Jisoo!' She cursed in her head. But the ways Seulgi's feline eyes stared at her was so intimidating that she felt as if she was stabbed and there was no way she could escape.
"I don't want to be a fool," Seulgi said quietly before she looked at Jisoo deeply as if to nail Jisoo's being right at where she was standing, "Kim Jisoo, I don't want to be your friend."
Oh.
Jisoo could not lie, she was disappointed. But there was nothing she could do, really, after all, everything that led them to that moment was all her doing. So if Seulgi did not want to be her friend anymore then she must accept that.
Well, on the bright side, at least she tried. So there was no reg—
—An abrupt kiss was planted on her lips and it stopped the whole series of her running thoughts. It was rough at first, a bit off-key because it felt like the one who initiated it was not even sure if she wanted to claim those heart-shaped lips, then as they started nibbling each other's lips, everything started to fall back into the proper rhythm. They clearly had missed each other so terribly that it was impossible for them to let go if it was not for their basic need for oxygen.
"What was that for, Kang Seulgi?!" Jisoo, who came first to her senses, panted her words between the air she was trying to inhale. Her face was flushed and to see Seulgi's bewildered eyes did not help the situation either. It took them probably 5 passing seconds before Seulgi could straighten her back and stared at Jisoo almost pleadingly.
"Kim Jisoo. Go on a date with me."
----
Jisoo could not say she knew exactly what just happened; one minute she had breakfast with an ex and another minute she was kissing her ex (not quite an ex then, she reckoned). But she knew exactly that she was happier just from the smile Seulgi gave her. It was a relief—she must say. So with a lighter heart and a smile that seemingly had been tattooed on her face, she got back to the hotel where she was staying, only to find a raging little chick seemingly trying to murder her phone in her room.
What Lisa was doing in her room, she could not be bothered to figure out.
She was more concerned about Lisa's current mood state, which kind was so rarely occurred. Jisoo suspected it had something with Jennie going out without her—as the woman told them the night before, she had a breakfast date with Irene.
Wait. Hold that thought.
Being influenced by Seulgi's words earlier made Jisoo fail to contain her curious arse. So she approached the clearly agitated Lisa and sat next to her calmly. She made sure Lisa was aware of her presence before she proceeded with her killer question.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes," Lisa said with a red face finally giving up on her phone as she threw it on the bed. Jisoo eyed her, giving the younger her 'Don't you dare lie to me, Lalisa' look which always was effective to draw every last bit of honesty out of her mouth.
"No?"
See.
There was a tint of uncertainty in her tone, but what she said next almost threw Jisoo out of her head. She did not see it coming.
"I hate that I don't hate Irene Eonni right about now."
Huh. Guess Seulgi was right after all.