Kayne's POV
It's been 5 days since Liam left the Castle. It was also the exact same number of how many days Ryder drowned and spiraled into his worst state yet.
He was locked up in their room everyday, either just destroying things and drinking til he passes out. Other times he would go to the bar and asks for the strongest poison so that he wouldn't feel.
If it was up to the bartender, he wouldn't let him touch another glass. But he's our Commander so they can do nothing but follow.
He's so miserable that it hurts to fucking look.
"Alright. This has got to stop." I stole the glass from his hand and dumped its contents.
He gave me a furious glare and tried to snatch it back from my hand, but he was so out of it that he grabbed nothing but air.
Groaning, he pinched his brows together and stood up with unbalanced steps.
"Ryder, look man. I know you're hurting-"
He advanced in front of me in an instant that even I was surprised.
"You know nothing." He bared his teeth before pushing me back and walking away.
"Yeah. But I know that you need to get sober, take a fucking bath and make yourself fucking presentable for once rather than walking around looking like that."
He scoffed and flipped me the finger.
"Looking at you now, there's no question why Liam would've left you." At my taunting words, he stopped walking and turned to face me with murder clearly written on his eyes.
Before he could move, I darted before him and grabbed his collar, slamming him on the wall. My pupils changed color and my muscles bunched as I applied power into my grip.
"Pull your fucking self together!" I growled.
"I might not know how you feel but one thing I'm sure of is that Liam wouldn't want to see you like this. You haven't fed since he left, Ryder." I spat the last sentence vehemently with clenched teeth. His jaw hardened in confirmation and looked to the side.
"Running away from the pain won't fix it. Liam left because he knew he had to face it. Don't embarrass yourself any further." I let go of him and glared.
"If you want to die by starving, then fine. But at least do it when Liam is here so he can give you the pity that you're looking for." With that, I walked away as I relayed the reason why I came in the first place.
"I didn't come here to give you a pep talk. Raegan called for us. He said to meet in the council room in 10."
A gruff response was all I got in return.
Sighing, I hope Raegan knocks some sense into you.
*****
Ryder's POV
The hollow feeling in my chest was enough to bury the hunger running through my veins and scorching my throat. I couldn't see it in myself nor force my body to feed from the blood that wasn't from Liam. I want him back.
I became addicted to him, to his taste, that even I was on the brink of insanity just because he left.
Fixing myself up, I then wore my clothes and proceeded to the council room without any trace of the past days' occurrence.
"There have been many missing reports of humans these past few days. Our contact informed me that cases have been issued in many states." Raegan turned to the screen, a map marked by red dots.
It played and showed the details of how many have gone missing in each state, their identification, and whether or not they are involved in any illegal activities.
"And these all happened at the same time?" I furrowed my brows, mentally shaking off the effect of alcohol in my system so I could think clearly.
"In the span of 3 days, to be exact." Kayne answered, glaring at me. Days when you were wasted inside your room rather than doing your job. He seemed to say.
"There's still no way to know how it happened or if these missing cases are connected, but even a fool would realize that it is." Raegan tapped his finger on the table and stroked his chin with a hand, thinking.
"There's a high possibility that it could be Alisander making his move." He guessed.
"It's the only possible explanation at present." I murmured in agreement and tucked away the anxiety and fear that Liam might've gotten in danger.
"I'll have my men look into it. This will move up to our priority and... tracking Liam will come second." I managed to say despite my white knuckled fist.
Raegan's eyes flicked towards it before staring at me with a leveled look.
"That would be all. You're dismissed, except you, Commander." The reprimand dripped from his voice which made Kayne hide a pleased grin that I noticed.
Closing the door after him, I nodded and stood facing Raegan. I didn't know if he was in a bad mood since he always kept a tight lid around his emotions and only when Liam is around did he act like a normal person.
"I was informed that you've been away from duty for quite some time." He gave nothing away, just continued giving a look that made dozens of people piss themselves from intimidation.
I cleared my throat.
"I-"
"There's no need to apologize, Ryder." Earning a confused look from me, he dipped his chin and turned to the scenery behind him made possible by the floor to ceiling windows.
"I know that things must be...hard." My chest ached with the reminder of that and I had to reign in my instincts and always keep a tight leash on my urges to bring chaos for being separated from Liam
"Kayne already informed me of the situation and I know that we haven't discussed about Liam's disappearance or settled some things but I couldn't afford to leave him to his own devices so I had my guards track him down as soon as I heard." I unconsciously took a step forward and the gleam in my eyes burned with ferocity.
Something akin to hope and relief threatened to materialize inside of me but I didn't let it take shape. Not unless I hear the words I'm looking for.
"They...are having trouble locating him, despite their best efforts." And just like that, it ended before it even began.
"Liam is good, I'll give him that. Within a month of awakening as a new born, he managed to control his thirst and bloodlust. Not to mention, his gift."
I wanted to say that this is not the time to praise his nephew but I kept my mouth shut.
"That boy is full of surprises, I must say. The ability to steal is... uncommon. And he already grasped how to use it." It was almost close to a murmur, the way he said it. As if he also couldn't believe it.
"But the more he uses it...the more he dips his soul into our side."
"Anyhow, this is not the reason why I ordered you to stay." Gracefully whirling around to face me, he became the embodiment of a ruler who showed no mercy.
"Pull your self together, commander. I know what you're going through is hard, but you should remember that you have a duty to uphold." It was a command that booked no room for any excuse or argument.
Placing my fist over my chest, I stood straight before I knelt on one knee as a sign of loyalty and service to the crown.
"Rise."
Before I could take one step to the door and excuse myself, he imparted his final words.
"As you all put it. "You look like shit." I wish you the best, Ryder. And I hope he comes back soon."
After that exchange with Raegan, I threw myself at work and tried to track down all the missing cases to see if our hunch was right, or this was simply an underground scheme headed by the warring Mafia families.
My men didn't get any rest as I barked out order after order, keeping my mind off of the ache in my chest and the burning of my throat.
My vision turned hazy with red crawling at the edges, hands shaking, and fangs lengthening without control, but I shook it off and drank some water.
Glancing at my watch and seeing that it was past midnight, I pinched the bridge of my nose and blew out a tired sigh.
"You're not going to last, you know." Natalie leaned on the door of my office, loudly sipping from the bloodbag in her hand. I stiffened and a low rumble emanated from my chest. Swallowing hard, I gripped the armrest of my seat until I heard a crack before blinking and looking away.
Another thing registered to me as soon as the haze passed. My hand was bleeding due to the sharp edges of the now broken chair.
"Phew, that was tough." She clicked her tongue and loudly smacked on the fucking blood, taunting me even though she knows I'm an inch away from the edge.
"If you have nothing to say, get the fuck out before I rip your throat."
"Moody, aren't we? No. More like hangry. Yeah, that's definitely it. That's a bummer." She thought aloud and I closed my eyes, trying to keep it calm.
"Natalie, just leave. I don't have the strength to put up with you." I waved her away and turned back to the data on my desk. As usual, she didn't listen and plopped down on the leather sofa, crossing her legs.
"When you finally lose it, you're not just going to be a danger to those around you. But to yourself as well." Without looking up, I replied to her statement.
"Imagine Liam coming home to...that." I perked up and my hand halted from the keyboard.
"Drinking the blood of another, my being is repulsed by just thinking about it. It feels like betrayal." I caught myself saying.
"Hey, I'm sure what you both have is special but I don't think survival can be considered as betrayal. Besides, it's from bloodbags. And it's from an animal."
"Nothing will sate this thirst aside from Liam's blood. Ever since I fed from him, the blood from animals doesn't work like it used to. It just prolongs the inevitable." She turned quiet for a moment, possibly letting it sink in that I-
"Oh, you're truly fucked." She said nonchalantly, making me growl under my breath before continuing with my job. A familiar image on the screen pulled at my attention, and the dreadfulness in the pit of my stomach became a living entity.
"Fuck."
Before I could stand up, Natalie raised her hand, telling me to stop.
"Anyway, pissing you off was the second reason I'm here. Here's the first." She threw me an envelope, and I eyed it warily before giving in and opening it.
I held back from crumpling the paper in my hands as I glared at her.
"If you've given me this as soon as you entered, we wouldn't have wasted precious time." I snapped and took a step forward to throttle her but she ran to the door and held both her hands up.
"If you want to be angry at someone, be angry at you know who. He's back and he's stirring up some evil shit that our informant was able to disclose to me before he died."
Newborns.
*****
Liam's POV
My mom used to say that time heals all wounds, but I would be the first one to disagree with her.
Time doesn't heal all wounds. It just makes it bearable until we get used to the pain so it won't hurt as much.
I smiled as the cool breeze kissed my skin. The sunset made it unable for me take my eyes off of it. It triggered another memory, one which tugged at my heart.
It was of me and Ryder at the beach, and the only problem I had was that I, or they rather, spent too much money on my clothes.
Feeling a smile work its way on my lips, I asked myself if I was truly ready. Was I successful in facing my past and who I am now? To live with what I've done and not let it pull me down to the depths I just escaped from?
The phone I bought, or rather compelled the salesperson into giving me, rang and I fished it out from my pocket. When I saw the caller ID, a grin lifted the edge of my lips.
"Hello?"
"Hey, boo. Just wanted to check and see if you're still alive and breathing. Well, sort of." Came the light voice which snorted at the end.
"Yeah, I am." I breathed out a long sigh as I stared at the city and listened to the person which helped me fight my demons.
"I can't believe today's the last day I'll be here." I spoke into the phone and nibbled on my lower lip.
"I'm going to miss you, you know. But I understand that you need to go." I could practically see the pout on the other end of the line and an underlying sadness accompanied it.
"I'm going to miss you too. Thank you for everything." I said softly.
"You should go back to him." Smiling, I nodded my head even though I couldn't be seen.
"So should you." I retorted.
"Can you please stop reminding me? He deserves it. That insensitive prick always finds ways to piss me off." I laughed with a cheerful heart and thanked the heavens for giving me a friend that I could lean onto and could confide in even if it was only for a short while.
"I owe you one."
"You actually owe me two. The first one is for letting you stay there and as for the second..." I heard a small huff on the other end of the line and I could practically see the smile along with it.
"Just remember to call if you ever need my help."
"Same goes to you."
Ending the call, I sat down on the wooden chair and finally thought about how everything had changed ever since I accidentally witnessed something I never should have.
Back then, I only worried about fitting everything in my schedule, not getting trouble at work, making sure my family was well, and helping mom with the flowers.
I thought that I was living. That life was really just hard and if I didn't force myself to believe that I was happy and contented, then I wouldn't know how to move forward.
But when I met him, everything I believed in had changed. If I thought that I was living back then, then I was definitely wrong. The emotions and the fluttering in both my chest and my stomach that he elicited from me made me live. It made me weightless and feel warm. Safe. Loved.
The word love and experiencing it first hand was still new to me, but I reckon that I was better at it than Ryder was. I told myself that his inability to utter those words back to me was ok. That I would just tell him I love him for all the times he couldn't. That I would say it enough for the both of us.
I only let myself wonder once if he truly does love me. I felt like he does, so I buried all these doubts and continued like it didn't affect me.
But little did I know that thought would eat away at me every single day without me knowing.
And now look at where it all end up.
Tipping my head back, an unrestrained smile tore from lips as I felt like the weight in my chest was truly gone. I felt free.
A laugh bubbled up from my throat, and then I couldn't stop it from escaping. I laughed freely as the world around me became blurry and I didn't notice the tears streaming down my cheeks.
Heaving out a deep sigh,
"Take me home." I closed my eyes and whispered to the wind. My gift warmed and shadows engulfed me before a familiar ambiance coated my skin.
As soon as I opened my eyes,
"What the?"
A/N: Yes I know what y'all are gonna say🤭😭 I made it longer than usual so you guys won't kill me🤣 I hope you have fun reading and I really really appreciate you for waiting 🥺 Happy Pride Month y'all!! 🌈🏳️🌈 Always remember that I love you and I hope you find what you're looking for.❤️