an organized mess of redacted...

By jjkstarlight

59.3K 1K 518

it's a goddamn mess in here. that's it, that's the description. - - - !! i have no ownership of these charac... More

heyooo
《 you use a pickup line 》
《 your contact names 》
《 his breakup song 》
《 the obligatory holiday special 》
《 he catches you dancing 》
《 you catch him dancing 》
《 he comforts you while you grieve 》
《 he gets clingy 》
oh?
《 him as songs from my playlist 》
《 he walks in on you changing 》
《 him as marvel characters 》
《 him as cereal 》
《 him as encanto characters 》
《 him as chips 》
guess who?
《 you wake him up 》
《 him MTL yelling at me ;-; 》
very dumb (not an update lol)
《 him as incorrect quotes 》
《 incorrect quotes - group edition 》
《 even MORE incorrect quotes 》
《 him as flowers 》
pov: you're out of clever ideas
beep boop i love u
《 songs that remind me of him 》
《 his masquerade ball mask 》
《 your masquerade ball mask 》
《 him as greek gods 》
shameless self-promo time
the only self-insert you'll ever see me write
《 boobs, ass, & everything in between 》
《 him as music genres 》
《 him with kids 》
ahahahahahaha why am i like this 👍
《 what i think he looks like 》
《 him as musical theatre songs 》
so. i can't make decisions.
《 talk too much - teaser 》
《 he gets high 》
i lied, here's another self-insert (UNFINISHED)
what if i told you...
《 EVEN MORE incorrect quotes 》
《 his guilty pleasure song 》
beating your meat- i mean heat!
《 your night-time routine 》
《 incorrect quotes: back in action! 》
i feel like we all saw this coming
《 talk too much - lasko oneshot 》
《 i love you so - oneshot 》
《 i've had enough - oneshot 》
《 him as songs from my 6th grade emo phase 》
《 could he survive el payaso del rodeo? 》
《 skate to me, baby - oneshot 》
《 you get caught making out 》
《 the earth beneath our feet - oneshot 》

《 how he would react if you died 》

237 7 7
By jjkstarlight

i'm sorry fluff lovers, mama's gotta feed her angst enthusiasts </3

ANGST! ANGST EVERYWHERE! 

NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE, IS SPARED

tw // death, unhealthy coping mechanisms, disordered eating, sleep deprivation, hallucinations(?), alcoholism, drunken violence

also i was right, i got caught up with an unfinished oneshot so i'll post that one last

- D.A.M.N boys -

{damien}

- he throws himself headfirst into his schoolwork. well, he tried to.

- his grades slip. he can't study. it reminds him too much of you.

- frustrated because he's beginning to fail, but the pain he feels when he tries to study by himself is just too much for him.

- he can almost see you beside him at his dining room table, laughing as you tease him about something silly.

- "always keeping me from working somehow. aren't you, freelancer?"

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{huxley}

- seems okay for the most part, but others can tell his head is somewhere else when he goes quiet.

- every saturday, he goes on a hike as usual. but he goes to your favorite spot.

- he sits and just... talks. like you're there listening. like you always did.

- he could've sworn he heard a faint echo of your laugh in the breeze, brushing across his face.

- "i hope whenever you are now is as beautiful as it is here, freelancer. i really do."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{lasko}

- probably the most shaken by the news of your death.

- tries to be like damien and bury his grief in his counselor work, but it hurts too much to ignore.

- he sat hunched over his desk one night, just sobbing.

- he kept looking up, as if you would be there sitting across from him each time he did. 

- "freelancer, i... i-i-i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry!"

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{gavin}

- he doesn't feed. he has no motivation to.

- he tried getting up like normal once, but everything reminded him of you and it just... it hurt too much.

- refuses to get up because your bedsheets still smell like you.

 - if he squeezes his eyes shut and clutches a pillow tight enough, he can pretend it's you still in his arms.

- "i miss you more than life itself... my deviant."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{caelum}

- doesn't understand, no matter how many times someone tries to explain it to him.

- convinced you'll come back to give him one last hug.

- he stays with gavin most nights because neither of them can stand the silence of your absence.

- everyone agrees; there's no sadder sound than a heartbroken empathy daemon.

- "they... they wouldn't leave without saying goodbye... right?"

- the wolf pack -

{david}

- it's like everything spirals out of control because you're no longer there to keep him grounded.

- maybe it's the lack of sleep talking, but he sees glimpses of you around the house.

- you knew he hated crying, yet it was all it seemed he could do.

- it was impossible to think that losing someone could hurt so much after his dad, but this? this was a whole new world of hurt for him.

- "you really were heaven on earth... angel."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{asher}

- no one, including david himself, has seen asher so... not asher-like.

- it's like he becomes a shell of who he used to be.

- the simplest things remind him of you- pizza and wings, his spiked collar, even playing halo. 

- convinced that he did something to make you leave him.

- "c'mon, babe- w-what did i do wrong? j-just come back! please!"

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{milo}

- when it all seems like too much, he buries his grief in bottles of whiskey.

- getting drunk off his ass doesn't even help because you're all he can ever think about.

- he can't control his anger, so he starts getting into bar fights. lots of them.

- his ma can only heal so many of the injuries he ends up with the next morning.

- "you would hate the person i've become, sweetheart..."

- the solaire clan -

{vincent}

- he still catches himself calling out for you.

- the lights will flicker sometimes and he almost convinces himself that it's you finally coming home.

- somehow finds a way to blame himself- for not protecting you, for letting you die.

- believes down to his very soul that he's the reason you're dead.

- "i swore i would protect you. i-.. i'm so sorry, lovely..."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{sam}

- he came home to his cabin in the woods, and it was quiet... too quiet.

- pretends that he's doing just fine in front of the clan, but his front falls apart when he's alone.

- he just lays in bed, pretending you're still sleeping soundly beside him.

- just when he'd thought he found home, the universe snatched it away from him.

- "love always finds a way to screw me over, huh darlin'?"

- empowered bois -

{elliott}

- his dreamscapes always revolve around you, and you would be there with a care-free smile.

- he contemplated staying in his dreamscape with you, where you could be with him forever like nothing had ever happened to you.

- but a small part of him knew your soul wouldn't rest and was telling him to let you go.

- waking up was always the hardest part of his dreams.

- "the world seems so dark without you here, sunshine..."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{avior}

- as if losing you the first time didn't hurt enough.

- the second time, his body felt numb but his mind was in pure agony at your passing.

- you were his sole sobering thought in the hellscape he was trapped in. he didn't even know where to begin with your sudden absence.

- with you gone, he couldn't bring himself to do much more than lying on the floor as tears streamed silently from his eyes.

- "you were the brightest thing in this god forsaken hellhole, my starlight.."

- unempowered bois -

{aaron}

- he doubles down on his work, not caring how dead tired he is.

- he figures if thinking about you is too painful, he'll do anything and everything in his power to keep his mind distracted.

- the tv in his apartment is always on to fill the silence of your absence, especially during dinner.

- conversations feel so boring without your snarky remarks.

- "i'd give anything to hear one of your smart-ass comments one more time.."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{ollie}

- he calls your phone every day, pretending that maybe- just maybe- you'll answer.

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