Soft pop music played on the radio as wind blew through Camila's hair, pulling bits and strands from the bun messily placed on top of her head. Her best friend, Normani, hummed along to whatever song was playing, Camila couldn't really be sure. They had been best friends for years, although they were quite opposites. Normani was naturally beautiful, with a gorgeous smile and dark yet soft, sweet eyes. She didn't wear a lot of makeup, hated dressing up special for school, and was always reading books. She was effortlessly confident, collected, and cool. Camila felt like she was a shadow of Normani's, despite them on the outside appearing to be so much on the same level.
They had met years ago after Sinuhe had quit her jobs to help Camila out full-time with her pageants. Normani's mother, Andrea, owned a gorgeous dress shop in downtown Miami that everyone recommend to Sinuhe. They were preparing for Camila's next pageant show and really wanted to wow the judges with something special, and Andrea had promised she had the perfect dress. For a few weeks, Camila had to revisit multiple times for fittings where Normani would help her mother with sewing and alterations.
"I don't think you could possibly lose this pageant," Normani had said once Camila's dress had been finished and fitted perfectly. Camila had smiled small at the girl as she pet the bag the dress was housed in. After that, the two were best friends forever, conquering high school with each other by their sides.
"Alright, Mila," Normani said as she parked her Hyundai into a spot. On the right, Dinah Jane, another of their best friends, was sat in her car as she jammed out to some Beyoncé. Camila giggled as her and Normani watched their friend lip-sync into a hairbrush. "You know, as much as I love Bey, I think it's a little too early for all of this."
Camila happily hummed and grabbed her bag from between her legs. She placed it into her lap and instinctively pulled out her pocket mirror. As she opened the compact to check her lipstick and foundation, Normani clicked her tongue next to her.
"What?" Camila asked, half-way offended as she closed the compact, satisfied with her current makeup situation.
"You're so vain," Normani replied. Camila knew that she was most likely joking, but sometimes she couldn't be sure with Normani. She was good at masking the truth as something lesser.
Camila shook her head and put the mirror away. It was easy being so beautiful like Normani, she didn't have to worry about things like if she had dry patches or if her hair was sticking up at the side. Normani, first of all, didn't care what anyone thought about her and that's what made everyone admire her. She walked along the school campus with joggers and a hoodie one day and then skinny jeans and a blouse the next. It didn't matter what aesthetic she chose, Normani could wear it all. Second, Normani simply always looked good. Camila had never seen her best friend reapply lipstick in the bathroom mirror or take out a comb to fix her hair. Normani simply existed, while Camila had to always be conscious of herself.
"I'm not vain, there's nothing wrong with wanting to look the best I can," Camila stated as she got out of the car. Normani had said something back, but the statement was lost as Camila shut the door and walked around to Dinah's vehicle. "Alright, Celine Dion, let's get to class. Mr. Luis will be pissed if you're late again."
Dinah Jane's face scrunched up a bit as she turned her car off and gathered her things. "I am not a Celine," she finally said, then she locked her car. It beeped twice before she was satisfied and met Camila's side. "Is that paper due today or tomorrow? Because if it's due today, then I really don't feel good."
With an eye roll, Camila started the walk towards the back entrance of the school. Dinah followed closely beside her and Normani walked a few steps behind as she tapped at her cellphone. "You're in luck," she answered, "the paper is due next week."
Dinah laughed. "Ah, shit, I even got more days!"
The three laughed as they made their way inside. It was weird, Camila decided awhile ago, to be so popular. There were constantly people staring at her and her friends. They would whisper amongst themselves when Camila, Normani, and Dinah would pass by, as if none of the three owned a pair of ears. There was constant male attention, teachers always seemed to be the ones kissing up, and Camila felt like there was always an image she needed to uphold. That day, she had worn a skirt, heels, and a crop top that Camila knew she would never be coded for. Every day was like a catwalk for the girl. She had to constantly be a beauty queen, even if she wasn't in a show. The makeup, the glamor, and the façade never fell.
Camila felt like her whole entire life was a lie. She loved the friends she had and the clubs she participated in. She enjoyed the dressing up and the makeup every now and then. And Camila thought maybe, deep down, she loved her boyfriend Jacob. But if she had her way, Camila would have none of it at all. She wouldn't have to put on a mask and costume every day. She could eat a muffin for breakfast and a burger for lunch. Camila could skip out on the debate team meetings or the school planning committee commitments. She could just enjoy being single with her best friends in the world. No pageants, no stress, no pressure to just be perfect...
"There she is!"
Camila smiled when her eyes met Jacob's. He was tall, dark-haired, and blue-eyed with toned abs and strong legs. He, of course, was on the football team and definitely looked the part. Camila liked Jacob Samuels, knew that she was attracted to him at least a little bit. There was a certain softness to him that Camila did love. He liked poetry and would read his favorites to her every night on FaceTime. On the weekends he wasn't practicing for football, Jacob would volunteer at the animal shelter. And most importantly, Jacob liked Camila when she wasn't dressed to impress.
There was a time when Sinuhe had let Jacob inside the house and Camila was napping on the couch. Sinuhe had thought it was hilarious, but Camila had been more than embarrassed when her drool-soaked cheek stuck to a throw pillow. She didn't want Jacob to see her like that and had tried to leave the room immediately to throw on some concealer and skinny jeans. But Jacob had smiled, something big and dopey, and had kissed her sweetly despite being right in front of Sinuhe. He murmured against her lips how beautiful she was, and Camila knew that Jacob was inherently good.
"Aren't you looking pretty," Jacob said before he wolf-whistled at Camila. The brown-eyed brunette blushed hotly as Jacob spun her around in a circle before he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. A teacher watched them for a moment from her classroom door before she had decided it wasn't worth the hassle. Camila grinned up at Jacob as she settled herself between him and his locker. "I am simply the luckiest guy in this school."
"You're sucking up awful hard," Camila replied. She tugged on his letterman jacket for one more kiss, which caused the teacher this time to clear her throat. The two pulled apart and smiled to each other.
With a gag, Dinah pushed past the two to get to her locker. She opened it up and placed her bag inside, not before she grabbed her first textbook. She sighed heavily and leaned against her locker with her back to close it shut. "I think today is the day I officially die from too much stress," Dinah sighed.
Camila quirked an eyebrow the same time Normani gave a laugh. "Yeah right, how much are you stressing? Is lounging around and smoking pot hard work?" Normani asked teasingly as Dinah scoffed.
"You know, we can't all be perfect like you, Mani, and get straight A's by just existing," Dinah replied as she stepped away from her locker.
Normani hummed. "Well, you do know how I get those A's, right? By stressin' and actually getting my work done."
"Alright, ladies, I'm sure we can come to an agreement without the claws," Jacob said as he wrapped a protective arm around Camila. Normani and Dinah gave Jacob a look, one that let him know he said something stupid, then continued to bicker amongst themselves. Jacob looked back down at Camila and shrugged. "Well, you really can't persuade them all."
Camila giggled and shook her head. "Mani and Dinah are the queens of banter, Samuels. You should know better by now," she said as she patted Jacob's hand on her shoulder.
A few groups of students passed by the four friends quickly, always in a hurry from class to class. A couple here and there snuck a peek at the group. From the outside, Camila was sure everything looked perfect. She was, incredibly, the perfect girl. Beautiful, smart, and talented. She was a part of three separate school clubs. Camila had great friends, a sexy boyfriend, and the confidence to boot. Yet, it was all so fake.
For years, Camila had been hiding the truth. The anxiety, the constant checking, the fear. It felt like Camila was drowning every single day, like she could never catch a break. On the outside, Camila seemed like she had it all. It was all so far from what she really felt on the inside. She wanted to scream from the rooftops what she wanted to say, she wanted to just for once feel like how she wanted to feel.
Jacob was talking about something Camila wasn't paying attention to when her eyes met another's. Camila blinked a few times as she tried to get rid of the soft pitter-patter of her heartbeat. Her wrists instantly clammed up as she watched the other person closely. Camila was aware of the person's name, they had talked a few times here and there when they had a few classes together. She was also aware of the sudden ache in her tummy as butterflies clustered together, fluttering around her almost-bursting stomach.
Camila knew deep down, the awful truth, that her escape was just so close by. Always on the edge of her fingertips. The bright, blaring exit sign always shined right in front of her, yet Camila constantly turned away. She had to keep it all together, had to push down the feelings and thoughts she had.
Camila hated her life. The beauty pageants, the way her mother treated her, the feeling of Jacob's mouth on her ear. The way people stared at her, always expecting more and more and more. Camila knew what she wanted, and there it was as it walked with its head down and weaved through the crowd.
Lauren, Camila thought, the name settling the storm that brewed within.