Chapter Eleven: OMG

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Pressing herself against the wall of her room, Camila sighed, her hands shaking and adrenaline rushing. She was trying to just get away from whatever had happened in the library. She was trying to break away from the hatred. But, sadly, Camila couldn't escape what bubbled within. Every single time Camila saw herself in the mirror, something would burn the back of her throat and disintegrate her heart, making her whole body melt into nothing. She longed for the confidence to come out to more than just Lauren. To be as free as Lauren was. But, there was nothing she could do.

Camila looked around her room, trying to busy herself with something. She hadn't known what had happened as she was leaving the library, and then the school. In the library, she was perfectly fine, and was able to throw insults at Lauren like they were confetti. The thing about confetti was it had a habit of getting into places that it doesn't belong. It sticks on skin and carries on clothing and sneaks into school books, out of sight and out of mind. But right when Camila saw something that reminded her of Lauren, and the hurt that she knew she caused her, it was like she was drowning in a colorful mass of it. All because she knew, deep down, that if she hated Lauren, she hated herself, too. And that was becoming more and more apparent by the day.

Everything in the room started to scream 'gay' to her, even though most of it was stereotypically girly and not stereotypically gay-ish. From the pink to the boy band posters to the makeup littering the vanity, Camila had a normal 'girl' room. But it was all a lie, burning into her everyday. As she sunk to the floor, Camila squeezed her eyes shut, just as tight as she closed her fists. It was like the image of her room was burned onto her eyelids, though. Everything was fake. Everything was so obvious. Everything was just so fucking obvious.

Camila didn't know she had started crying until she could feel drops of liquid fall onto her chest and shirt. She pressed the heel of her hands to her eyes, trying to stop the leaking, but more tears fell at that. She sobbed into her hands, trying to control herself. Everything about her was fake. She couldn't escape what she was, either. Camila didn't get good grades, she just copied people. Camila didn't have confidence, she just braved a smile and went with it. Camila wasn't in happy straight relationship, she was in a confusing and disgusting relationship with an emotionally abusive boyfriend. One who didn't give two shits about her.

At this point, Camila figured she could be dead or alive, an no one would really care.

Camila was trapped in a Barbie doll world, but she had to much of a heart to live in it.

The phone inside of Camila's pocket started to buzz incessantly. She furrowed her eyebrows, finally opening her eyes and trying to blink away the blurriness that filtered within her vision. Reaching into her pocket, Camila pulled out her phone, reading through the couple of notifications that were on there. She sighed, noting they were from Pauly and Normani, both wondering where the hell she was. Dinah was probably already wherever they were all supposed to meet up at and didn't bother texting Camila. She wracked her brain, trying to figure out what she was supposed to meet up with everyone for. For some reason, all Camila could think about was Lauren, which made her just want to cry more.

Sighing, Camila texted Normani back, considering she was sure her best friend wouldn't call her names like Pauly most likely would, and asked what exactly she was supposed to meet up with them for.

'Did you forget? lol. You're the one who planned it! Movie night? To celebrate Pauly's grades? You forget too easily, boo.'

Camila sniffled as she tried to remember ever inviting anyone to the movies. She also tried to remember if she was paying for everyone, which she hoped she wasn't. She could just pay for Pauly and herself, everyone else be damned.

The brunette grabbed a hundred dollars, anyways, just to be safe.


Lauren hated going to the movies. Well, 90% of the time, Lauren hated going to the movies. The only real time she liked going was when there something special going on that she had to see. Like when she was really into Twilight and she was finally old enough to watch Breaking Dawn: Part One. Or when If I Stay came out, which was one of her favorite books of all time. Other than that, the thought of going to the movies was disgusting. Sitting in sticky seats that hundreds of other butts had touched and eating half-stale and too buttery popcorn wasn't something of pleasure to Lauren.

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