Chapter Twelve: Black Magic

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Feeling like she didn't belong but also being in a group of multiple people was a profession in Camila's life. It seemed like no matter where she went, there was nowhere for her to really go. She either existed or didn't, and that was the gist of it all. But, Camila wasn't a loner. She had many friends and social groups to be a part of. Her problem was, though, that none of them truly understood anything about her. Nothing about her, to be completely honest. They could know how many beauty pageants she had attended, how many teeth she still had left in her mouth, and whether she shaved everyday, but they would know nothing about her. 

The only person that truly knew Camila was Lauren, and slowly she was wrecking that to fit in with people who only knew bits and pieces of her. Things that weren't really a part of Camila. It was like the beauty pageants and the perfectionism and the good grades were all ghosts that wouldn't go away, plaguing her wherever she went. 

Camila sighed softly, pressing her back against her locker, trying to convince herself that it wasn't going to be a bad day. She didn't have an pageants coming up, and she was certain that graduation was coming sooner than she thought. But, there was still a bad energy that wouldn't leave her mind. It was then that Camila started to think about Lauren, the girl she loved dearly. The girl who she was devastating and treating like a leper. The girl who went from one of her best friends to a person she could drag her feet on. 

Lauren was better than Camila, and she was more than Camila deserved. Camila needed stability in her life, but couldn't grasp onto it. Lauren was the only sense of that, and she treated her like shit. Like she was nothing. Camila was starting to realize she was the one that meant nothing. She was the one that deserved the abuse that she had been throwing at the green-eyed beauty. 

Camila closed her eyes tight, pushing a hand through her hair as she tried to think of something to do. She had to fix everything that she had ruined between her and Lauren, before she lost the girl forever. But, she couldn't lose her boyfriend and other friends in the process. Especially not Normani, one of the only persons who actually understood her and would be okay with her coming out as gay. 

When Camila had opened her eyes, it was like fate was trying to send her a message. Lauren was just ten feet away from her, probably walking from the art room towards her first class. Camila perked up, then went over to Lauren, a small smile on her face. 

"Hey, Lauren. Can we talk?" Camila asked, fixing her hair behind her ear. 

Lauren simply glared at the smaller girl, sending chills down the brown-eyed girl's spine. "I thought my name was dyke. That seems to be what you enjoy calling me," she replied coldly before pushing past Camila, making the latter step back towards the wall. 

Camila frowned, disappointed that Lauren truly thought that she meant those mean things. Camila didn't mean anything she had been saying to the older girl. In fact, Camila didn't really mean half of the things she said anymore. 

Camila's life was a web of lies that kept growing larger and larger. She was starting to get the threads mixed up. She didn't even know what had started it all. But, she kept adding onto it, making her life so much worse. 

"Lauren! Wait, please," Camila begged, running to catch up with the girl. "Please, don't push me away. Please don't." 

Lauren twisted around suddenly, making Camila almost bump into her. "No. I shouldn't even be talking to you right now. I shouldn't be looking at you right now. I spent time with you because I thought you were my friend," she ranted, shaking her head. "I was so wrong! So fucking wrong. You're not my friend, you're just a manipulative bitch. I don't talk to anyone else, Camila. No one else in this school. I hate talking to others. I hate everything about other people. But, I still tried to break out of my shell and talk to you, because I wanted to be your friend. I thought I was wrong about you. But I wasn't. You're weak and a bitch and a liar." 

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