i'd make sure to click on the visuals. they do mean so much.
it's been awhile. i'd like to think of this as a double update. chapter 64 will either be out later today or tomorrow. i just wanted the dramatic ending so I cut this one off at 4k words.
don't tumble down the rabbit hole.
vote and comment.
Dissociative Amnesia
occurs when a person blocks out certain events, often associated with stress or trauma, leaving the person unable to remember important personal information
Welcome To Wonderland.
"Stop fucking touching him!" I heard a voice shout aside from the ringing in my ears. It was a limp sound, but it had so much meaning. A broken begging almost. The voice was familiar, but my mind couldn't exactly distinguish who it was or what they were referring to exactly.
"Fuck off!" Another voice grumbled, groggled, and choked all in those two words. They didn't sound like themselves but the sound of their tone was so familiar it was like my mind wanted me to recognize it.
"I'd shut up if I were you." That voice was one I've heard most recently, but a name... I couldn't exactly come up with a name for the sound in the background of the ringing.
Ring, ring, ring.
Answer the phone. The voice in my head would tell me but it was just a subconscious ringing to block out wherever I was.
Blake, you're no good alone. Why are you sitting alone on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?
"He's already down! Let him be!" The man shouted again. Who was that? He sounded so familiar it hurt my brain to try and come up with another answer but I couldn't move my eyelids and look at them. Whenever I opened my eyes I never saw who I wanted to see. It was a never ending cycle.
"Where are they?" The groggy voice spoke once more, wincing in pain at the end of their sentence. I could hear them better now, and recognize the changes in tones. I could hear their footsteps. I'm sure if I just opened my eyes I would be able to see...
"In the shadows. Now if you'll stop resisting-" Who were they looking for? Were they looking for something out of place? I couldn't remember exactly where I was or what I was doing... is this dangerous?
"I want to see them." That same groggy voice deepened, coughing at the end of his demand.
"Tell me where Anna is! Show me! Please." Anna. I know that name. That's my best friend. The voice is clearer now. I've known him for a long time. He seems distraught at the thought of not knowing where Anna is. But isn't Anna back at the apartment? Are we not near the apartment?
That has to be Grant's voice.
"Jason will be in shortly, sit in the fucking chairs before I make you." This voice was mean but decently calm. They are inflicting pain on Grant and this other familiar man. I can feel it.
"Please don't hurt them." This wasn't Grant's voice. It had to be the other man's as I heard the scooting of chairs and tightening of rope.
Minutes passed before another spoke. I could tell the lights in the building weren't on. My eyelids were too dark as I stared at the endless black screen. I heard the footsteps leave and then come back again moments later. More and more arrived at the scene of wherever we are. My body started to gain more consciousness but I still couldn't quite remember my surroundings. I don't think I want to.
Then the lights clicked on and I knew I didn't want to be wherever I was any longer.
His voice spoke first. "Well isn't this wonderful?" That has to be Jason. The other man was just mentioning him.
Nobody responded, only a gasp was heard. My eyebrows scrunched together slightly as I worked up the courage and strength to open my eyes.
"Blake." A voice breathed softly, almost as an exhale. Why was my name being called?A quick pause in conversation. "Blake!" The voice shouted again at me.
And then I recognized it immediately.
Harry.
My eyes shot open without another thought, squinting at the bright change in lighting. And there, right in front of me only ten feet away was Harry.
But what was Harry doing here?
"Harry?" My vocal cord stracted together to make even the smallest noise of his name. His eyes widened taking me in and my state of mind. But I was confused, I couldn't remember... Why couldn't I remember?
He looks beaten. He looks damaged and hurt. He looks in pain.
But he's looking at me like I'm the first bit of light he's seen in awhile.
"Baby, baby. It's gonna be okay, alright? Just hang tight." His exasperated breathing was taken to heart while I looked around at the surroundings. I was tied to a chair like every other person in this room except men in uniforms. The walls were dirt, IV bags scattered the floors, my inside arms hurt terribly. I had bruises on my arms and legs and...
And nothing.
"Harry..." I mumbled out again, slightly less confused, but sleep was taking over again. My head lolled to the side, my eyes fluttering closed when he called to me again.
"Blake baby! Keep your eyes copen for me, Honey. I need you to stay awake for me darling okay?"He was pleading with me. All I could give him was a slight nod and a weak answer of okay. But was I already shutting my eyes again? Yes.
I heard the thrashing of chairs, the screaming, the begging.
"Let them go! All of them! It's me that you want! Let Mere go back to Jen. That's your fucking daughter!" He screamed. Then I remembered another.
Meredith. His little sister. She, Anna, and I were all here.
"I'm just watching this as a comedy movie, to be completely honest with you." Jason smiles like a Cheshire cat. "However, Blake hasn't even met our guest yet. It's a pity the morphine and drugs in her system have fogged up her memory. They are super excited to see her... again."
"Who!" Harry demanded his answers. "Who is excited to see her? Just leave them. Take me! Kill me if that's what you plan! Just please stop hurting them."
"I think it's about time the show starts. Don't you think, son?" Jason's voice was out of a horror movie, silence and sound.
"Please, please, please." A useless beg was all Harry could mumble out. But my head...
It hurt, like a pounding in my ears that almost took over the sound of the ringing. Thump, thump, thump.
Please just stop the yelling. It hurts so bad. My temples ached at each noise made.
"Meh. I'm enjoying this." The sound was fading, the voices were being drowned out. I couldn't focus any longer. My eyelids had shut, what was going to happen next/ Who was going to strike first.
Now who was the most dangerous person in all of Wonderland? You thought the Queen of Hearts, correct? Did nobody ever tell you about the King?
Now the King of Hearts. He was so interesting. A timid man in the original story. However, Blake and Harry's story wasn't quite the same. He was a man who played a game of lies, a game of thievery, a game full of pawns. Every person in his life was a playing card. Just as described in the story. An army of playing cards.
Wasn't that interesting?
"Not them. Not them. Never them."
"Can you shut the actual fuck up? Stop mumbling. I taught you better than that." Jason's loud and abrasive snap was also faint in the background of my mind.
Here's all I remember: I'm in a room with Jason, Harry, Grant, Anna, and Meredith. I've been abused, Harry looks broken, everything is going wrong. And then... the memory falls away.
Almost like it fell down a rabbit hole.
***
HARRY'S POV
Every gym training session, every minute of therapy, every book I;ve read, and every movie I watched could have not prepared me for the moment I saw the almost lifeless bodies of the three out of four women I cared for most in life. Anna was so drugged up that her head was rolled slightly to the side, Meredith was broken and beaten that she was just knocked out cold, and Blake was experiencing the aftermath of copious drug use and what sounded like slight amnesia in response to the trauma she's been through.
I almost wish that she would wake up with amnesia.
Forget about all the stupid little things.
But this wasn't stupid, this wasn't little. This was life or death. A grand and elaborate plan to eliminate me. Take me away from this earth, but please leave my heaven angels.
I don't think Mr. White Rabbit has been mentioned yet. A symbolism of inner power and willingness to learn. "Oh my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late! For a very important date!"
A little too late.
"Please don't hurt them." I begged my father once more. My head is hanging in agony and fear. The pain in my neck from being smacked around and tied to a chair. My girls don't deserve this. I deserve this. They didn't do anything. "They don't deserve this. They didn't do anything."
An exaggerated sigh fell from the lips of the addict in front of me. "They did everything. They kept you going. They kept you happy. They gave you a reason not to fail. I wanted you to fail so badly."
I think I am crying now. A form of weakness in his eyes, but emotion has always been strength in mine. I am crying because I care so much. My entire world is in this room and their fate rests on my shoulders.
"But why? Why go through all that trouble? Just so I would fail." Another tear falls and lands in the dirt.
Alice cried herself a river.
"I never wanted a son. That's the only reason I can give you." His voice was passive and closed off. His arms came to fold over themselves across his chest, he didn't need to share. I knew the reason.
It's called being a sociopath.
"You put me in a life of torture... because you didn't want me? I didn't want you either. Why didn't you just leave? Why torture us all?" I pressed him for more answers. Why didn't he just give me up for adoption. Why did my parents then go on to bring another innocent life into the world and then decide to fuck it up?
"Because that's what my father did to me! And that's what I have to do to you! I'm fucked, I can admit it. But I needed you for those years you spent for me. Now you're wasted trash. I don't need you anymore. I have a new person to fill your spot."
That new person was Grayson I suppose.
Let's add another playing card to the deck, shall we?
I sighed. I sighed in acceptance and confusion. I've always been at peace with the mention and ongoing pressure of my death. I've known my life was always on short notice since I was sixteen and took the step into the drug cartel. In the back of my mind I've always known. I just don't want them to ruin my friends. "Just let them go. I'll let you kill me."
Another tear dropped into the river at my feet.
His finger tapped his lip in thought at the possibility of granting me one last wish. "I've thought about it. But I want you to choose."
His finger turns outward and towards my chest as I gasp. "What?"
"Choose." He shrugs like it is nothing. A simple choice is what he thinks of it. Like I said, death does not concern or phase him in the slightest. "I've always made you pick the top two. Now pick one to die and the other three live."
"No." An immediate answer.
I could never choose. It's not entirely my choice.
If I chose to take Anna's life, Grant would lose his forever and Blake would lose her best friend. If I chose Grant, I would lose my best friend and Anna would lose her forever. If I chose my sister, my mother would lose her only daughter and I would lose my favorite person on earth. And if I dared to choose Blake, I would lose my forever wife and Anna would lose her best friend and the world would lose the most amazing person alive.
"They are all passed out anyway. I'll give you time to choose. However, we must wake sweet Blake up. Someone wants to see her again."
Someone wants to see her again.
I'm going to guess it's the Mad Hatter.
***
BLAKE'S POV
"Blake sweetheart, time to wake up." HIs chilling voice whispered in my ear as my eyes twitched at my changed state of consciousness. My eyes slowly rolled open at the sound of Jason's voice calling my name.
The pounding in my head was still there.
Thump, Thump, Thump.
"What are you putting into her system? Stop! Leave her!" Harry's voice called in panic and my eyes trailed slowly over to the inside of my arm where the Iv in my system laid, taped to my fair skin.
"Would you stop your incessant crying? God, it's like you are ten all over again. It's a fucking naloxne, it reverses the effects of opiods so she can function for a hot second. Chill the hell out, she's not dead yet." Jason shrugs like my death meant nothing to him. Harry's face contorted in anger and rage, his thrashing in his chair started up again. His hands thrusted up against the restraints but his strength was nothing against the thick rope.
The drugs now flowing out of my system cleared up my mind slightly, allowing for a more clear picture of what was going on here. I could remember I was taken, I could remember some vague past events of me being followed, I could remember the drug cartel...
"And what about Mere! And Anna! They need it too." He cried, his head on a swivel, surveilling all of the others that surrounded us. All of our friends, our loved ones.
"You haven't chosen. I'm only giving it to Blake per his request." Per his request.
Jason Styles has never taken a request from anyone, why would he take one in regards to me. Someone he has repeatedly mentioned as collateral damage?
"Who's request?" Another demand falls from Harry's lips and I almost want him to stop speaking because of how hostile Jason is becoming as he stands near me.
"You'll just have to wait and find out." Shrugging everything about this situation off his shoulders.
"What's going on?" A weak mumble escapes me and Harry's eyes snap to mine at the immediate sound of my voice. He tries to scoot his chair forward my tipping it to the side back and forth but only gets a few inches before he speaks and stops.
"Baby? Listen to me it's going to be-"
"Funny as hell. I can't wait." Jason laughs, stepping in between our connected line of vision, standing tall in front of me. Condescendingly looking down on me like I'm worthless to him. But I was, and I knew that. His face turned toward his son. "Harold, you can keep your trap shut if you know what's good for you. This is about Blake."
'What's about me? My memory is really... foggy." I sigh again, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to remember everything.
"Yeah, that can happen. My bad. It was a high dosage of opioids in your system. Oops?" The laugh of a Cheshire cat. "Anyway, someone wants to see you again."
He keeps saying this, but never says the name. But there's a small part of his sentence that confuses me. He says 'see you again'.
"Who?" I ask, looking up. Harry is probably itching in his seat right now.
"Well I'll give you a little back story. I had you followed, then I had you stalked, and then I brought in a friend who has been working for me for about eleven years. And then, well, I let him stalk you both alongside a partner. All for this moment. Now you both, sweet lovebirds, get to meet them at the same time. But what I think you'll be shocked to find is that you already know them both. You've just... put their memory to rest."
"We already brought you Grayson. Who is the partner?" Harry's voice sounded from behind Jason, his head peeking over the side of his father's body to see me, making sure I;m still breathing or whatever.
Jason turns around and speaks sharply and with an annoyed breath. "Genuienly Harold, I didn't know who the fuck that kid was. I just thought it was funny to let you think you beat me in this or something. Comical really. I almost felt bad for the poor kid. Now he works for me, but that's another story for another time."
"What? Gray wasn't the guy?" So does that mean Grayson was following us just out of pure creepiness and craziness? We tied him up and risked our lives at Jason's doorstep to bring him a man that didn't even work for him. Now we roped him into a life of torture without even making sure he worked for Jason before we left?
But we were so sure it was him.
Who else could it be?
"Nope. I had one man and one girl. The girl followed Harry while the man followed you, Blake."
The man was following me.
"That explains the lipstick..." Harry mumbled, now deep in thought as he tried to break down his father's words and vague explanation of what happened to us.
Jason bent down, close to my face, his smoker's breath fanned disgustingly in my face. "Do you want to meet your stalker now, Blake?" He asked, his lips curling up into a smile.
I could only nod.
Jason's smile widened, keeping his eyes on mine as he stood straight back up and merged farther into the darker shadows. "Come out, come out." He called out to whoever I was supposed to meet.
New footsteps were heard, a figure deep in the corner of the shadows started to move. Harry's eyes were trained on the figure as well. Clunky boots stepped through the dirt when the man finally stepped into the light.
I gasped in disbelief.
Harry gasped in shock.
"Hi my baby girl. It's nice to see you again." His cold voice spoke from his now dim lit spot in the corner.
My frozen stance in my tightened chair almost made me pass out.
"...Daddy?"
a/n: the cheshire cat is out of the bag.
i told you wonderland would be.... oh so wonderful.