KISSING MY KRYPTONITE
(A/N: UNEDITED | Special thanks to cole_memaybe, aiukun, and muffinlovewithu for the song suggestion at sa lahat sa inyong matyagang paghihintay ng UD. xoxo luvs ♡)
Sa mga sumunod na oras nagmukmok na lang ako sa labas at hindi sumali sa games nila, pinili kong mag-isa hanggang sa lumalim ang gabi, maraming umuwi kaya bilang na lang kaming natira para mag-overnight.
Pagbalik ko sa Ymmanuel Coast Reception, naabutan ko ang mga kasamahang naglalaro pa rin. Karamihan sa mga natirang guests ay mga panalong candidates, ang ilan ay random schoolmates and friends na namin.
"Ano'ng klaseng game 'to?" nagtatakang tanong ko kasi hindi mabilang ang black boxes na nakalagay sa apat na mahahabang tables. All of the players are gathered around the tables while music plays in the background.
"Eat or dare.." sagot ni Blain na nakatayo sa tabi ko. "No one is exempted in this game, kapag nandito ka..kasali ka."
"Eat or dare?" what's that? Parang truth or dare lang? Pero walang bottles to spin..
"Do you see that red flag?" turo niya sa red triangular flag na pinagpapasahan ng mga kasama namin, takot na takot sila sa flag kaya mabilis nilang pinapasa 'yon kapag nakakarating sa mga kamay nila, "If the music stops, the player holding the red flag should complete the Eat and Dare challenge."
" 'Yung mga black boxes sa harap, may mga hidden weird food sa loob, the person with the flag needs to decide whether to eat it or finish the dare na siya rin bubunot," Blain added, she pointed Achira handling the dare's red box.
"Fuck, I said manonood lang ako!" reklamo ni Mighty Deev na kinakaladkad ngayon ni Ma'am Kelani, nasa kanya kasi ang red flag.
"Not tonight, honey," Ma'am Kelani smirks then commands my sister like a boss, "Pick one of the black boxes.."
Napairap si Mighty Deev at walang lakas na tumayo sa tapat ng isang itim na box habang inaayos nito ang blouse niyang ginusot ng propesora. Nag-abang kaming lahat sa laman ng kahong itinaas niya at sabay-sabay na napasinghap nang tumambad ang isang bowl ng pulang malalaking sili.
"Are you kidding me?!" inis niyang reaksyon, lumapit ito kay Achira at bumunot sa dare box..
"I dare you to kiss one of the players in this game, it has to be on the lips.." Achira reads the deal on the orange pingpong ball.
"No fucking hell!" pagmamatigas ni Mighty Deev.
"Kiss someone on the lips or finish the bowl of siling labuyo? You choose, eat or dare?" Ma'am Kelani smiled playfully. Bakit parang gustong-gusto niyang nahihirapan si Mighty Deev?
"What if I don't choose?" Mighty Deev rolls her eyes.
"I'll kill you," balik ni Ma'am Kelani sa kanya, tawang-tawa ako kasi takot na takot si Mighty Deev. May nilapag na fresh milk si Professor Cordova sa harap niya kaya medyo nabuhayan siya.
"Eat," Mighty Deev sighed, kinain niya isa't isa 'yung sili na parang kumakain lang siya ng sweets, wow?
The next rounds, may mga mas piniling gawin na lang ang mga dares kaysa kainin 'yung mga lamang exotic food ng black boxes. Nakikinood lang ako hanggang sa mapunta sa mga kamay ko 'yung red flag, hinagis ko pa 'yon sa taranta pero walang sumalo.
"Bagong presidente niyo, oh! Akala ko ba matapang ka?"
"Eat me na lang!"
"Ang dare ay sisirin mo ako!"
"Go, Meziah!"
Mayabang akong pumili sa black boxes kahit ang katotohanan niyan ay kabadong kabado ako, parang kasalanan ko pa kasi kung hindi ako mag-participate.
"Holy fish crap!" sigaw ko at napatalon sa nakita.
"Edible 'yan, Meziah! Those babies are safe," Ma'am Kelani chuckles. "We made sure that all of it are clean and tasty.."
Nanlumo ako kasi pagbukas ko ng box, buhay na malalaking cockroaches 'yung nasa transparent box.
"Lasang manok daw 'yan!" sigaw pa ni Jerold. "Sabi nila lasang fried chicken daw 'yan kahit hindi pa ginigisa!"
I wanna fucking puke. Wala akong paki kahit lasang babae pa 'yan! May pambili pa ako ng totoong manok, hindi ako susugal diyan!
"Patayin niyo na lang ako!" mangiyak-ngiyak kong asik. "Hindi ko kakainin 'yan, saksakin niyo na lang ako!"
"May dare pa naman, suko ka na agad?!" sigaw ni Lucca, namumula na pisngi ko sa takot, may pagyugog pa ang mga balikat nina Mighty Deev at Yngrid kakatawa sa kalagayan ko ngayon.
"Pauwiin mo na mga alaga mo, Lucca!" nguso ko sa mga ipis na buhay na buhay pa, tangina? Ano kayang lasa niyan? Dang, I can't imagine. Kahit bayaran ako ng isang malaking baul ng yamashita golds hindi ko kakainin 'yan mga bobo!
"Pick your dare wisely, baby," Achira squeezes my hand first because it's shaking. I quickly took out one pingpong ball, but Achira immediately snatched it from me before I could read the dare. Professor Cordova is discreetly watching me from my peripheral vision with the mic.
"Here it is.." huminto siya at malagkit na tumingin sa 'kin. "We dare you to confess to your crush right now."
"Cockroach or confession to your crush? You choose, Meziah," Ma'am Kelani seriously says. "Eat or dare.."
"Crush reveal!"
"Crush reveal!"
"Crush reveal!"
Sunodsunod na pagtutulak ng mga kasama ko.
"What if 'yung crush ko na lang kainin ko?" naiinis akong nagkibit-balikat, tumawa pa silang lahat dahil sa sinabi ko.
Lumapit ako sa box ng ipis na gumagalaw pa, tumataas balahibo ko sa nakikita, malalaki kasi bawat isa tapos malaman-laman pa. Gamit ang nanginginig kong kamay, sinubukan kong ipasok sa transparent box iyon pero hindi pa ako ginagapangan ay mabilis ko ring binawi sa takot.
My phone beeps, I fish it out of my pocket..shaking.
Yngrid Marshalls:
Dare na lang, just say it's me.
Confess to me, I won't mind.
I can't think of other ways to
help you..
Sent 1 minute ago.
If you don't like the idea,
eat the cockroaches well.
Hindi ka pa nag-dinner right?
Just now.
Alam na alam niyang kahit magunaw ang mundo, hindi ko kakainin 'yung ipis na 'yon o umamin sa totoong nagpapatibok ng puso ko. Kaya para iligtas ang sarili ko, humakbang ako papunta sa tabi ni Professor Cordova.
Kinuha ko 'yung mic na hawak niya, 'nung una ayaw pa niyang ibigay pero bandang huli ay napilitan rin.
"Just give it up," rinig kong sambit niya, pero hindi siya nakatingin sa 'kin, tinanggap niya ang baso ng wine na inalok ni Ma'am Averie. Namumula na ang mga mata niya kaya nasisigurado kong hindi ito ang first shot niya.
"Don't drink too much, ma'am," may pakialam kong paalala. I heard she doesn't want to spend the night at this resort, so she's basically heading back home after this party.
"Mind your own damn business," she scoffs, nakatingin lang ito sa isang bakanteng table na pinupunan ulit nila ng mga panibagong black boxes.
"Fine," I rolled back my shoulders.
"Drop the game.." her voice softens. Planet Elrafa's climate change nga naman, oo.
"Hindi ako duwag para umatras," mariing sagot ko sa kanya, tumikhim ako at inulit ang sinabi ko, "Hindi na..ako duwag.."
"Pinag-usapan na natin 'to, right? Are there any missing details I failed to address with you?" mababa niyang saad ngunit madiin.
"Lagi naman akong sumusunod sa usapan, ma'am," seryosong balik ko sa kanya. "Unless you'll break it yourself..pero hindi mo naman 'yon gagawin hindi ba? Wala namang dahilan.."
Walang imik akong bumalik sa pwesto ko kanina dala ang wireless microphone, lumingon ako sa tinatayuang parte nina Yngrid saka ko binalik ang tingin kay Professor Cordova na nakahawak sa kanyang kwintas. As my gaze falls back on hers, she drops her hand from fumbling the pendant of her necklace.
Ma'am Kelani stares at me, "This is your last chance to decide, Meziah. Eat or-"
"I'm not going to eat the cockroach," sagot ko gamit ang mic. "Dare.."
"Yung crush mo ba..nandito?" humina ang boses ni Ma'am Kelani sa tanong niya kahit pa naka-mikropono ito.
"Yes," agad kong sagot, nagsitilian ang mga kapwa players namin.
Clearing my throat, "I wanna take this moment to finally make my confession through a song.."
Nagsitinginan ang lahat, habang ang iba ay nakuha pang mang-asar.
" 'Yung play girl natin, mukang nagbabagong buhay na.."
"Ang tawag sa malalang kondisyon na iyan ay IN LOVE!" hiyaw ni Lucca na agad ko namang inirapan.
Kinuha ko ang gitarang suot ni Jerold at tumakbo pabalik sa gitna, walang mic stand kaya nagboluntaryo si Yngrid para tulungan ako...siya humawak ng mic for me.
Inayos pa nito 'yung guitar sling sa katawan ko kaya lalo kaming inasar ng mga kasama naming walang ideyang ex-girlfriend ko siya. Maybe they see something from us kaya sila ganyan kung mang-asar.
Hindi ko na pinatagal pa at sinimulang tugtugin 'yung gitara. Hindi agad ako kumanta, I settle on hitting the guitar with the song I picked until I find myself singing the song I actually wanted to say out loud..
(A/N: Mahika by Adie & Janine)
Strumming..
Nagbabadya ang hangin na nakapalibot sa'kin
Tila merong pahiwatig ako'y nananabik
'Di naman napilitan kusa na lang naramdaman
Ang 'di inaasahang pag-ugnay ng kalawakan
Ibon sa paligid umaawit-awit
Natutulala sa nakakaakit-akit mong tinatangi
Napapangiti mo ang aking puso
Habang kumakanta, noong una hindi ko pa kayang tumingin sa kanya hanggang sa kusa na lang siyang hinanap at binantayan ng aking nga mata.
Giliw 'di mapigil ang bugso ng damdamin ko
Mukhang mapapa-amin mo amin mo
Giliw nagpapahiwatig na sa'yo
Ang damdamin kong napagtanto na gusto kita
"Hindi ko alam kung saan ko sisimulan.." may kaba pa ring kanta ko, ngumingiti sa pagitan ng mga salitang binibigkas.
Binibigyang kulay ang larawan na para bang
Ikaw ang nag-iisang bituin
Nagsisilbing buwan na kapiling mo
Sa likod ng mga ulap
Ang tayo lamang ang tanging magaganap
Ewan ko ba, hindi naman para sa mga taong sawi sa pag-ibig ang kanta pero ang bigat-bigat ng dibdib ko, hindi ako makapag-angas.
Ibon sa paligid umaawit-awit
Natutulala sa nakakaakit-akit mong tinatangi
Napapangiti mo ang aking puso
Yngrid's hand with the mic dropped. Nangalay ba siya agad? o dahil paunti-unti ay lumalayo ako mula sa kanya.
Dala ang natatanging gitara, hindi ako tumigil hangga't sa marating ko ang tabing pwesto nina Professor Cordova. She's with the other professors; Ma'am Kelani and Ma'am Averie kaya hindi naging halata sa lahat na isa sa kanila ang rason bakit ko kinakanta 'to.
Kahit hindi ko sabihin..palagay akong alam niya naman na para sa kanya 'to..
My 2:02 - 2:30 ...
Giliw 'di mapigil ang bugso ng damdamin ko
Mukhang mapapa-amin mo amin mo
Giliw nagpapahiwatig na sa'yo
Ang damdamin kong
Napagtanto na gusto kita
Gusto kita
Gusto kita
Gusto kita
"Gusto kita.." I finish the song by locking my gaze with the professor, who had been staring at me steadily.
I look away immediately to blink back the tears from spilling out. To replace the negative thoughts that are pushing me on this miserable moment, I pinch my thumb hard to think of something positive and hilarious. Tangina, bakit ako iiyak? Ano ako mahinang uri? Napatawa ako sa loob-loob ko, medyo torpe at marupok lang ako.
Only my dad's hurtful words and violence could make me cry..not this woman.
"Meziah never disappoints! That's a great performance!" Ma'am Kelani comments proudly, "The question now is..para kanino 'yung kanta? Who's your crush?"
"I can't drop the name," tumawa ako para pawiin ang pagbigat ng dibdib ko. "But my crush knows..she knows."
"The song is for me. That's how magical our connection is...mahika. Ezra singing the song for me always feels like my first real breath of oxygen," Yngrid's voice bounces throughout this place, then she smiles sweetly before returning the microphone to Professor Cordova, whose expression cannot be interpreted at this time.
Napuno ng kilig at hiyawan ang buong lugar. Hindi na rin ako umangal pa dahil mas maiging isipin na lang ng lahat na para sa kay Yngrid 'yung kanta at hindi kay Professor Cordova.
Masyadong maraming nagbago simula noong gabing nasa bahay nila ako at ngayong...SSC Adviser ko na siya. Pakiramdam ko lalong naging mas malupit ang mundo sa 'kin kasi naging maliit man sa aming dalawa pero mas dumami ang rason para wakasan ang kahibangan ko.
The game continues, and I couldn't help but cast a glance at Professor Cordova. Sa sobrang tahimik niya, kahit pagdating ng red flag sa mga kamay niya ay hindi niya naalintana.
"This is it! Professor Rafa Eli Cordova is our next challenger!"
Katulad nang nangyari kanina ipinagduldulan din nilang SSC Adviser siya kaya dapat ay wala siyang inuurungan.
Sa red dare box siya unang pumunta kaya agad na binasa ni Achira ang nakasulat sa pingpong ball, "We dare you..to strip three pieces of your clothes..in front of us."
Her face tenses up, I grite my teeth and even hurry to Achira in order to check on the pingpong ball and make sure she was reading the correct dare for the professor.
Achira shrugs, "Meziah, we're in a beach resort. Everyone can go naked, c'mon.."
My eyes returned to Professor Cordova's deadpanned look, she's not saying anything but I'm sure she hates the dare as much as I hate it too. Kahit alam kong hindi niya gagawin 'yan ay hindi ko mapigilan ang sariling mag-alala dahil wala namang matinong laman 'yung mga black boxes, kung buhay na ipis 'yung sa 'kin at malilikot na worms 'yung kay Lucca, paano pa kaya 'yung kanya?
The next thing she did was select a black box. I cursed as seeing what's inside the box, with all the options available to her, bakit 'yon pa? What a cruel world we live in.
Mani ang laman ng box, marami-rami rin 'yon dahil puno 'yung isang bowl. May peanut butter pang nakalagay sa isang maliit na sauce dish. What in the fucking hell right?
"This game isn't funny anymore," I hissed under my breath. "Patayang laro ba 'to? Ubusan ng lahi? Kasi ako kanina muntik na rin akong sunduin ni San Pedro sa nerbyos dahil sa mga ipis na 'yon.."
"Calm down, Meziah," Blain presses my hand to restrict me from standing, lingering tap on my shoulder.
"Calm down? She's allergic to nuts! At ano 'yung dare? Maghugubad siya? This insane game is fucking too much!" napalakas ang boses ko, ang iba ay napapatingin na rin sa 'kin.
"Keep your distance from me," malamig niyang utos sa mga nagtangkang lumapit sa kanya, hindi man lahat pero alam kong ang iba rito ay alam nila ang tungkol sa nut allergy niya.
"But Professor Cordova we're aware of your food allergy, the walnuts are not safe!"
"Don't sweat it," tumingin siya sandali kay Ma'am Averie na parang wala lang. She warned all of us not to come any closer, "Fret not.."
She quietly plucks up one walnut as though it is nothing serious. My veins are now close to freezing with fear because I've already seen her get struck by her allergy before and I can't bear the thought of witnessing her struggle to death because of it again.
"Walnuts are rich in antioxidants and healthy fats. How come those are not safe?" nagtatakang tanong ni Yngrid pagbalik niya mula sa kung saan.
"She's allergic to nuts," may takot na sagot ko, tumayo na 'ko at desididong pigilan si Professor Cordova dahil akma na niya iyong isusubo pero naestatwa ako sa sumunod na ginawa niya.
She drops the walnuts back into the bowl and eventually takes off her clothes piece by piece, beginning with stripping her black suit blazer, which prompted everyone to gasp in astonishment.
"Good heavens, Professor Rafa Eli Cordova is doing the daring dare!" Ma'am Kelani screams in amazement, Achira picks up her blazer and soaks it in a big bucket of water.
"Holy moley? Call me gay but she's hot.." rinig kong bulong pa ni Mighty Deev sa tabi ko. Hindi ako makagalaw, I don't even know what to feel right now..I'm shaking..
"Focus lang sa goal, attorney," Lucca glares at her.
Her inner top is a semi-casual white loose blouse, everyone's jaws drop as she starts to unbutton it while Achira is counting in victory behind her.
Kalahati na siya sa ginagawa niya at kita na ang black brassiere niya pero 'yung pasensya ko hindi na kinaya ang nakikita dahil hindi na 'to ang dating Professor Cordova na kilala ko. Mabilis kong hinubad 'yung puting long sleeve cover-up ko para ibalot 'yon sa kanya mula sa kanyang harapan.
"Fuck away from me, Veneracion.." she hisses angrily under her breath.
"Bub!" nag-aalalang sigaw ni Yngrid sa 'kin dahil sa pagtabig ni Professor Cordova sa mga kamay ko na umani ng gulat na reaksyon mula sa lahat; nahulog ang cover-up ko kasabay nang pagtakbo niya palayo.
"I'm fine, Yngrid," kahit na parang sasabog na ako sa nararamdaman.
"Hayaan niyo na muna siya," Ma'am Kelani's concerned voice warns us to stay the hell away from the Professor Cordova, who was now fleeing into the darkness.
"The game must go on, music please!" Achira cheers up like nothing happened. Hinila ako ni Yngrid pabalik sa pwesto namin, I refuse the drink she's offering me and glance at Lucca.
"Follow her," she mouths worriedly, "Ako na bahala rito.."
"Sige na," Yngrid shrugs.
Iyon din naman talaga ang gagawin ko dahil hindi na kumakalma ang puso ko sa pag-aalala. Madilim na at tanging camp fires, mga ilaw mula rito at villa ang liwanag na mayroon dito.
Mayroong inutusan si Ma'am Averie para hanapin si Professor Cordova. I was with them the entire time and by a twist of fate, we found her near the seashore.
The sea and rocks is one of the attractions about this resort that will take your breath away. Tourists and travellers flock here to enjoy the magnificent scenery-but roaming around here at night isn't advisable for everyone to keep us all safe.
"Ako na ang kakausap," saad ko sa dalawang kasama na unang lumapit sa kanya, "Just tell Ma'am Averie that we already found her.."
Sa paglapit ko sa kanya, habang umiiksi ang distansyang pagitan namin ay nagiging mabagal ang paghakbang ko. Kanina ko pa kasi siya kinikibo pero hindi niya ako pinapansin, may kaba at takot sa puso ko pero mas matimbang ang kagustuhan kong malamang ayos lang siya.
Kailangan na naming bumalik.
"Ma'am..mataas ang tubig dito, we should go now.."
"I'd like to be alone, Veneracion," niyakap nito ang sarili matapos niyang ihilamis sa muka ang mga kamay niya, "Leave.."
"But they're all waiting for you.." ngayong nahanap ko na siya, hindi ko siya basta pwedeng iwan na lang dito.
"They don't care, so should you," mas malamig pa sa hangin at tubig na saad niya.
I took a deep breath, "Professor Cordova-"
"What part of LEAVE did you not understand, Miss Veneracion?!" lumakas ang boses niya, hinawi niya ang kamay ko nang subukan ko siyang hawakan dahil tumataas na ang tubig..nakasunod lang ako sa kanya.
"I can't leave you here.." singhal ko, sa mas kalmadong boses..nasa tuhod na ang taas ng tubig. Kahit mabigat na talsik ng alon ay inaabot at binabasa na rin kami, sobrang lamig pa.
"How are you going to work with me as my SSC President if you can't even execute a basic command?" sarkastiko't pagalit nitong bigkas.
"Say it to yourself, SSC Adviser," I say in a firm tone, "We're all forbidden from coming here at this hour, but you're here firsthand."
Nanahimik siya dahil sa bwelta ko. Sa posibleng reyalisasyon, tila nanlambot ang pagod at galit niyang ekspresyon sa muka; humahangos, humarap siya sa laot at walang imik niyang tinakip ang mga palad sa muka.
"I wanna be alone..ignore everyone until I feel better. Is it too much to ask that?" her tired voice turns velvety behind her hands, like she's so done fighting for the upper hand of this argument, "I came here to breathe out and make sure no one is following me.."
Nagiging kahinaan ko na kapag lumalambot ang boses niyang ganito..
Marahan kong hinawakan ang braso niya, nakahinga ako ng maayos nang hindi siya pumitlag, "But you're not safe here, okay I'll call someone to bring you home if you wish to leave this now."
"And you expect to go home and let you spend your whole night with that woman?!" she attempts to yank her arms from me but to no avail.
I blink my eyes a lot, processing what I heard. Malakas ang kaluskos ng tubig pero pasigaw niyang sinabi 'yon kaya tanga na lang ang hindi nakaintindi, "Y-you what?"
"I said leave na," pumitlag ulit siya. "Please.."
"No, I heard you said something.." umiling ako at hindi pa rin makapaniwala. "It's like you don't want to go home and leave me with someone..is it Yngrid?"
"Who is she again?" she stops shoving me away, her eyes narrow. God, why is she so cute saying that? Her eyebrow raises up, "Oh, I know her. The woman with blue eyes?"
Madiing pagkagat ang ginawa ko sa ibabang labi ko, hindi ako makaimik.
"Roses are red, violets are blue...that woman is still in love with you.." she hiccoughs. "How about you?"
Normal lang ba sa kanya iyong bigla-bigla ay napapa-roses are red..violets are blue poem siya kapag lasing? o ano? Ganito rin kasi siya noong bachelorette party ni Ma'am Kelani..nakakaramdam na ako.
"Cute.." wala na, tangina nangingiti na naman akong parang tanga..ayon nabitiwan ko tuloy kaya nagbalak nang lumusong at magpakamatay sa dagat. I hold her arm with force this time because she's really persistent to throw herself in the water, "Ma'am..dang it!"
"Who is she?!" sinampal niya ang kamay ko, humarap siya sa 'kin nang nag-aapoy sa galit. "Who's Yngrid, huh?! Veneracion I'm asking you damn bastard!"
"As far as I can recall, pinakilala ko na siya sa 'yo kanina-"
"Sa buhay mo kasi, Veneracion! What role does she now have in your life?! Tell me or I'll rip your ribcage open to see where she stands in your heart!" magkasunod-sunod na hampas sa dibdib ko ang pinakawalan niya habang sinasabi 'yon, mahina..nanghihina na ang mga kamay niya. Her voice seemed to break with the last ounce of her might, like a wildfire..raging at me. "I hate you..I hate you so much.."
Alam kong hindi na 'to dala ng kung ano mang nainom niya, this is what she truly feels..and I damn hate myself much fucking more for making her feel like this. Umiiyak ba siya? She's fighting back tears. I was convinced when she began fanning her cheeks and eyes with her hands. Kinapa ko nang bahagya ang mga mainit na pisngi niya.
Bumalik siya sa pagtulak at hampas sa 'kin nang hindi niya na kayang itago ang nararamdaman.
"I'm sorry.." hinintay ko muna siyang mapagod kakahampas sa 'kin, wala namang pwersa pero alam kong sa ganoong paraan din siya kakalma after she lets out all the things messing her head.
"I know I shouldn't have..pero naiinis ako sa 'yo lagi kasi ang flirt mo. Men and women are all over you," bumagal ang mga kamay niya..her swelling eyes still searching for the answers she wants to hear from me. "Then here's that woman with blue eyes.."
"Yngrid is my ex-girlfriend," I finally said with all honesty. "At hanggang do'n na lang 'yon ngayon.."
"Why do your ex-girlfriends have to be so gorgeous? What do they gain from a nuisance like you? Pretty handsome ka ba?" her voice about to crack again..I could feel her suppressing her shiver. "Hey....you..little carrot, do you still love that woman?"
"No," I shake my head, her pouty lips formed in a thin line.
At that, it took me by surprise when her hands stopped hitting my chest, naging mapungay ang mga mata niya. I grabbed her hands in mine and slowly let them go so I could pull her waist and hug her. Hindi siya gumalaw nang yakapin ko pero mas importanteng hindi na siya nagpumitlag at hinayaan lang niya ako.
As the sound of waves and falls intensifies..we were in that position for too long until our hearts beat in sync.
"That ex-girlfriend of yours should know her place, you're not going back to her because I don't want to..." she firmly says in between her broken sobs.
"Y-you don't want to..w-what?" parang tanga kong tanong, nangingiti.
"Your ex-girlfriend....." pinandilatan niya ako. "Why did you let her claim what's mine? I am so offended...."
"How did she offend you?"
"You...." she sighs heavily. "The mahika is mine...it was for me right? Or was it for every woman in this world?"
"The song is for you, only you," malumanay kong tugon.
"Pretty handsome..." dinuro niya ako. "I wanna ruin your annoying face now.."
"Do it," I dare her, nangingiti na parang sira.
"I'll do it now!" mapagbanta niyang asik, kinapa niya ang pisngi ko, umirap siya dahil sa pagngisi ko kaya sumubsob lang siya ulit sa leeg ko, "Cheese whiz.."
"Ma'am.."
"I don't know what's wrong with me..Veneracion," tila pagod na pagod pa niyang singhal bandang leeg ko dahil doon nakabaon ang muka niya. "Something feels wrong with me..this is so frustrating.."
"Don't get so upset about it too much," nakapikit kong hatol sa sinabi niya, para siyang hirap na hirap o gulong-gulo nang banggitin niya 'yon..ramdam na ramdam ko 'yung bigat ng emosyon niya. "Just let it all go, or might as well count to ten again..you like doing that right?"
She didn't say anything beyond that..a deafening silence came upon us until her breathing slowed down a few moments later.
"Let's go back.." I stated softly before I lose my mind..she didn't say a word. We both walked along the wet sand, nang mahagip kami ng mas maraming liwanag doon ko mas napansin ang itsura niya, her white top was completely unbuttoned, and I assume it was because she meant to swim.
Tiningnan ko saglit ang sarili ko, naka-brallete na lang pala ako dahil naiwan ko 'yung cover-up ko.
I stopped walking and faced her because a possessive part of me didn't want people to see her in that manner.
Walang salita at nakatingin lang ako sa mga malamanikang mata niya nang simulan kong ibutones 'yung suot niya. I made sure not to touch her skin while doing it. She was reluctant at first, but soon consented.
Nasa gitnang butones palang ako nang magsalita siya.
"Why are you doing this? Making me feel all of this.." she catches my eyes again, her voice is calmer now. I am trying to avoid her honestly because the air around us suddenly becomes hot...na dapat malamig.
"This person in front of you deserves to ask the same question, I guess.." I try hard to speak normally, her stare is giving me chills.
"I asked you first.." her hand lifts up to hold mine at the waist button of her top.
"After everything that happened tonight and all that you said I don't think I'll be able to stop myself again," I slowly blink at her. Kinuha ko ang kamay niyang nasa gilid niya at dinala 'yon sa tapat ng puso ko, "Do you believe, after what you told me in your house and now, you'll be able to stop this heart from beating for you?"
Noon ko pa kumpirmadong matagal nang delikado ang buhay at puso ko dahil sa kanya..ang gaan sa pakiramdam na nasasabi ko ngayon ito ng harapan. Puno ng kasiguraduhan; walang rules, takot, pag-aalinlangan o anumang dahilang makakapigil pa..
Her jaw tensed up, her hand on my chest froze, "I need more time to believe all of this.."
"Give this time a chance to believe me, Rafa.." I whispered softly, squeezing her hand gently. "Give it this time..right here.."
She pulled her hand from my heart, "This is impossible-"
"I like you....." I finally confess without feeling dumb, dang it! I like her so much, like, way more than I should.
To divert my attention away from my sudden confession and her burning gazes, I slide my hand to the last button of her top to finish clasping it.
"You do?" sa tono niya parang gusto niya pa akong tawanan, like I was making a joke. Nasa huling butones na 'ko pero dahil sa naging dating ng sagot niya, kinalas ko ulit 'yon. It was my intention to press my fingers against her belly button that caught her off guard.
"For how long?" she sounds serious and a little scary now..
I didn't respond, rather advancing a closer and closer to narrow the gap of our bodies, my hand climbing up to the next button and unclasping it unguarded.
"You don't know me yet, you don't wanna involve yourself to someone like me.." she clutches my hand to stop me, my other arm snaking across her back to keep her from backing up.
"Try your luck with me.." I take my time moving to the upper button and unclasp it..there are two more. Her other hand had to grip my back to save herself from falling, she's slowly..losing control.
We're staring at each other like there's no tomorrow..
I almost lose it when her hand moves on her last two buttons, not to stop me but to help me in unclasping it. Tinapik niya ang kamay ko palayo sa pagitan ng dibdib naming dalawa, sa gulat ay pinigilan ko siya nang tangkain niyang hubarin 'yung top niya..
My eyes quietly ask her what she's doing because I'm now losing my shits.
"Meet my demons and let's see.." ger sensual eyes made it to my lips, suddenly she turned to a seductress, determined to drive me insane. Napakapit siya sa baywang ko dahil sa paghila ko sa top niya palapit sa 'kin.
"I said try your luck with me..do your best worst on me.." mapang-akit kong bulong, my hand reaches her neckline and carefully pulls it down, revealing her exposed shoulder, collarbone...what stole my words away the most is her scar slightly healing.
"Then run away.." she falters and says it as I caress her scar before her collarbone.
"Run away? Let's wait when the hell freezes over, and the demons turn into icebergs and glaciers " I say, breathless.
Now I understand when she tried to strip off her blouse..dahil ba rito? Why do I have a feeling that it is somewhat connected to the events happened during the night she spent at home? Bago dumating si mommy from Paris, alam kong may sugat siya no'n na hindi ko maintindihan bakit ayaw niyang ipakita sa 'kin..
Para siyang sugat na naghilom mula sa matalim na bagay..sa patalim. I know this scar tells a story, there's something about it that I wanted to know before it fully fades.
Without saying a word, my lips slowly connect against it to plant a small kisses across her scar that makes her even more beautiful and captivating.
"I'm sorry.." I said against her skin, my anxious eyes lift up to see her as if I hurt her with those kisses.
"Don't.." her hands gave me a slow massage on my back, I feel the same familiar connection again that compelled me to kiss her shoulder up on her neck to search for my favorite spot...then to her adam's apple.
"V-veneracion," she sank her fingers into my shoulder blades when I started nipping her neck.
"I'm straight..I'm straight..I'm fucking straight.." she mumbles while straining not to tilt her head, but she does so anyway. I didn't stop kissing her neck waiting for her to let out the sound I've been dying to hear from her again..I want her to moan for me.
"It's too late to convince yourself, love," I say against her warm skin, my lips trembling in anticipation for more, allowing my kisses travel from her neck to her earlobe and now gradually trailing her jawline.. "Every inch of you are under arrest with mine, your body can no longer lie.."
"V-veneracion..enough.." she gasps that adds fuel to the pulsing fire below my belly as her soft voice wraps me like a flaming blanket. I pause for a second to watch at her struggle to collect her breaths, then smile and lean in closer to tease her lips.
"I know what you're doing," she mumbles, her voice gets firmer.."It's not working on me.."
"What do you mean?" my eyes from her lips linger up to her sensual orbs.
"It's you.." gumalaw ang kamay niya sa likod ko, akala ko bibitaw na siya pero umakyat 'yon hanggang sa pagitan ng katawan naming dalawa as if she's ready to push me again. "..teasing and doing it on my shoulder up to my neck and jaw until you hear me beg for more..playgirl things.."
"I have never been this patient and soft before with anyone, miss," I was rough, harsh, aggressive, and rude with women. My sexual novelty is damn crazy and hard-I keep everything playful, but meeting her start to give meaningful twists and turns in my life.
Mapang-akit akong ngumiti, hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya, "Sa 'yo..kaya kong maghintay hanggang sa hindi na lang kamao mo ang mahalikan ko kundi ang mga labi mo.."
Aside from the fact that she smells so pleasing, like a fine dessert I wanna kiss her damn good until she struggles to speak.
"What would you do if I claim those lips now?" my sensuous eyes blink at her pursing lips-my fingers playing through the ends of her hair beside her ear.
"Jerk," the only word she says, looking heady with the proximity of our faces.
Going back to kissing her neck like I couldn't bring myself to care, I bite a bit of her skin that muffled her last words, "Ez..rah gosh you are so-"
I didn't give her the chance to speak more as I interlock our lips together like how the waves meet the sands and the way my name muffles inside her mouth. Having our lives shape by the passionate kisses, her hands tightened their grips on my chest at the sudden contact, and the kiss, like the sea waves, washes away all the uncertainties that had encased the two of us.
Her seductive eyes soften before me, and like the oxygen she sorely needs, her eyelids shut to revive amid my kisses as she parts her lips to welcome me along with the moonlight caressing the sea.
"My lips are all yours," I say weakly and teasingly bite her lower lip..
"Ezrahhh.." she whines a little louder, pulling me as much as she could to deepen this intimate moment. My hands stroking her waist pulls down her loose top so I can completely access her bare skin..our chests brushing each other makes me crave for her to moan out my name..
Tuluyan akong nawala sa sarili dahil sa pagyakap ng mga braso niya sa leeg ko kasabay nang masuyong paghalik niya sa mga labi ko. The slow, hot, and passionate kiss we're sharing right now inspires the sea waves to dance with each other, making me shiver..better than any kind of my favorite wine..
The superhuman in me is getting more aggressive...the bad butterflies in my stomach are dying for deeper strikes. This woman is my fucking kryptonite, no one can change my mind-and I don't think I can save myself from her anymore..
"Ezrahhh!" she pulls away her head slightly and yells in surprise, hen I hoist her up by her waist..humigpit ang kapit ng mga braso niya bandang leeg ko. She keeps moving making me drop her back into the sand, "What are you doing?!"
I'm battling myself to go any further..
Baka ma-knock-out na naman kasi kapag sumobra ako..ramdam ko pa rin 'yung diin ng kuko niya sa batok ko kanina and the extreme tension keeps building up..
"We're going back.." nanghihina kong sambit, wagas ang pagpigil sa sarili.
"Like this?!" her eyes widened.
"Please.." pakiusap ko sa susunod na gagawin, pinisil ko ang baywang niya at masuyong hinaplos ang likod niya.
She breathlessly huffs, "This isn't..I can walk goodness-"
To keep her from talking, I press my lips on her chin, lifting her waist with all my force and slowly enclosing her legs on my own waist..her skirt rolls up higher.
She is reluctant at first, but as I start kissing her shoulder, specifically her scar, she shuts up and her warm legs find a perfect home around my waist.
"Put me down please.." she commands weakly, her fingers rummaging my hair..I kiss her deeper up on her neck to her throat.
"Will you kiss me again if I don't?" the corners of my lips jerk up feeling her angles her head for better access..this is making me grow more and more heated up.
"I honestly don't know what's going on, Ezrahhmm.." she hums softly in between my wet kisses over her throat, the vibration I'm feeling is sending more electrifying shiver.
"Just take a breath," kapos sa hangin kong bulong habang pinaglalaruan ng nga daliri ko ang hook ng bra niya sa likod, "And remember all of this tomorrow.."
Following that, I stop tasting her neck when she whispers something I need to hear.
"Put me down..Veneracion, kneel down..now.." I like the way how her hands gently massage my nape and head while she orders me. Further to that, I don't think honoring her command will lead me to put out the fire between us.
I was ready to fall to my knees, but I had to choke down my words before I could say them when someone spoke behind us.
"Professor Cordova? Meziah?"