Lisa's POV
The director invited us to a barbeque house near the shooting location. The staff are very nice and took care of us idols, now the director is going to treat us. We didn't expect to get this kind of treatment, Nayeon unnie and I actually planned to eat at a restaurant after the shooting but since the director invited us and is paying, we are shy to turn down the offer plus food is more delicious when it's free.
There are so many things that happened today, I didn't expect Karina to be here also. This is the first time I saw her again after what happened at the mall, I actually want to talk to her because I want us to at least be civil. As I said, this already happened to me before but I fixed my relationship with some of them, we're at least civil.
I really want to talk to Karina so when I saw her and found out that we will be together for this commercial, I immediately made my move but because I'm too shy and ashamed to talk to her, I just made my manager give the energy drink I saved to Karina.
I also greeted her earlier but she just nodded at me and looked away, which means that she doesn't want to talk, it was too early and I don't want to ruin her mood so I didn't continue speaking, maybe out of cowardice too.
I tried to talk to her several times but it's obvious that she's been avoiding me since earlier, and every time it happens I can't help but get sad and feel hurt.
I know that Karina is feeling uncomfortable and awkward every time she's near me, that's why I distanced myself from her to not make her further feel that.
What I've been trying to do since earlier is for nothing when what all the director and photographer made us do this whole day is to get close to each other, literally, skinship here and there between us. For my part, it's okay because I'm used to skinship but I know that Karina isn't, well at least with me.
I only got to say a word again to her when I asked her if she was okay, she only nodded and didn't even say a single word to me. All of these negative feelings of hers towards me are affecting me also negatively. That's why when she responded positively to me caressing her waist and arms, and her eventually getting used with our skinship, it made me feel positive as well.
I got to admit when we had those moments when we touch, I always get this feeling, I can't figure out what it is and why I'm feeling that way but I will just ignore it for now.
Once the shooting and photoshoot were done, I thought that they will let us go home already but the director suddenly requested to take pictures of us again. This time we need to switch partners, I got Nayeon unnie and I'm very happy that she's the one I got.
We went first and finished fast because we work well together. When it was Karina and that Yeonjun kid's time I got to witness how different Karina was when she was with him compared to when she was with me.
Even though they're not as fast as us, they didn't have any problems like what happened to me and Karina. When you look at her at that time, she looks comfortable and relaxed around him, she's also smiling and laughing genuinely with him. Unlike when she's with me... Hays...
I don't know why but I felt sad, I just chalked it up to us not being okay because before revealing my secret to them, I was very happy when we became friends with her group, I was just quiet when around them but the truth is I want to get to know them more and get close to them. But with the circumstances right now, I don't think I can do that anymore, except with Ningning because she's okay with me, I don't know about the other two, and Karina is already given.
That's what I'm telling myself but I also have another feeling that it's more than that... I also don't know what it is.
We are now inside the barbeque place, I'm sitting beside Nayeon unnie, Yeonjun is on the other side of her. There's still an empty spot beside me, I saw Karina still standing, "Karina," I called her and patted the spot beside me for her to sit on.
"Karina, sit here," I heard someone say. When I looked for that person, I didn't expect it to be Yeonjun. I looked beside him, there was another space beside Yeonjun. Karina ignored me and went to sit beside the boy.
Oh... Yeah, I forgot that we're still not okay... What she did make something inside me break, it hurts... that's what I feel right now. I'm also embarrassed... there are staffs who looked in my way when I called her and I'm sure they saw what happened.
I glanced at Karina, she was talking enthusiastically with the boy, I immediately looked away to not look like a creep, I just looked at the menu in front of me to busy myself.
I think what I did is wrong, I shouldn't have confessed my secret to them in the first place, I shouldn't have confessed that I'm a lesbian. I already know that this might happen but I still did it. If I didn't tell them that, Karina will not feel uncomfortable around me, she will not dislike me... I wish that I didn't confess...
If I didn't tell them my secret maybe Karina and I are close now, maybe we're close friends now... I regret what I did really, poor decision-making on my part.
Hays, I don't know why I feel this way. I didn't feel this before, I didn't regret it when I confessed to my former friends my sexuality before. I don't know why it's happening now. These things are confusing, I'm very confused about different things nowadays.
I didn't know that I spaced out not until Nayeon unnie poked my side, "Lalisa," she whispered called.
I looked at her questioningly, "What?" I asked.
"I've been calling you for a while now, What do you want to order?" she asked.
"Anything you decide or just the same as yours," I answered. I don't actually feel like eating now, I just want to go home.
"Oh... Okay..." she looked at the waiter and tell our orders. "I also ordered shoju for us," she informed me, I just nodded.
Throughout our time eating, I was just quiet. If my mood is down, I prefer to be quiet and I think Nayeon unnie noticed it so she opted to not talk to me, unnie knows and understands me very well.
I spaced out again while eating, I only came back to my senses when I heard someone coughing, I looked for that person and it was Karina, no one is making a move because she said she was okay so I did it myself.
"I'm just going to the comfort room, unnie," I informed Nayeon unnie, she nodded. I went to the counter first and asked the person on it to deliver water to the table where Karina is sitting. She knows me so I told her not to tell them who ordered it if ever they asked, then I proceeded to go to the c.r.
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Karina's POV
Lisa unnie and Yeonjun sunbaenim both offered the seats beside them, if you're in my place you're also going to have a hard time picking on where to sit. To be honest, I didn't really have a hard time, Lisa unnie is the first one to offer the spot beside her but I'm very thankful that Yeonjun sunbaenim also offered the seat beside him, so obviously I'll choose him. Well... in the first place, I wasn't really gonna accept Lisa unnie's offer because I don't want to sit beside her, I'm avoiding her remember?
But when I chose to go sit beside Yeonjun sunbaenim, I got a glance at Lisa unnie's expression. When she offered for me to sit beside her she was smiling but when I chose to sit on the other side, that smile vanished instantly... it made me feel something again... it's like... guilt? I don't know, but I decided to not mind it and chat with Yeonjun sunbaenim, he's really funny, and very handsome while smiling. I was smiling and enjoying the whole time I'm talking to him, I just wished that he had been my partner earlier...
While eating, I'm laughing at everything Yeonjun sunbaenim said, some of them aren't even supposed to be funny but I still laugh at them, maybe it's the influence of alcohol. Because of my nonstop laughing, I choked on what I'm eating causing me to cough, sunbae and another person offered to get me water but I refused, saying that I'm okay. I noticed that a woman is looking at me while passing by, I can't recognize them because my eyes got blurry from the tears that formed in them.
A little later, a waiter came to our table and gave us a jug of water together with a drinking glass, he particularly gave the glass to me. "But we didn't order for a water," Yeonjun sunbae said to the waiter confused.
"The cashier said that a woman from your group ordered water and asked for it to be delivered here to this table," the waiter responded. Ahh... maybe one of the staff saw me coughing so they ordered for me, how nice and sweet of them, actually all the staff for this commercial is very nice.
"Thanks, I'll pay for it," I said to the waiter but he refused, he said that it was already paid for by the woman who ordered it. Aww... The waiter left, and I thanked him again.
I think aside from the director who's paying for all that we ordered, I also need to thank the woman who ordered the water for me, the only problem is I don't know who they are.
Still talking with Yeonjun sunbaenim, I noticed someone passed by our table, it was Lisa unnie. Hmm... how come that she came from the comfort room when I didn't even notice her pass by our table?
Then I suddenly remembered the woman who was looking at me earlier while walking to the counter, I saw her in my peripheral talking with the girl at the counter earlier, so maybe... Wait... don't tell me it's Lisa unnie who ordered the water for me?
I looked at her and caught her also looking at me, it's confirmed I don't even have to ask her, Lisa unnie is the one who ordered the water for me, she again immediately averted her eyes. But why is she always doing that? It's creepy, weird, and annoying! I said this inside my head but my heart is beating... What is it this time?! Why is my heart beating this fast? Hays, I'm very confused about different things nowadays.
The time came when we need to say goodbye to each and everyone that are with us in the making of the commercial. "Karina let's go," My manager called me from inside the van, I just nod as a response.
Before I went inside the van, I first said my goodbyes to my sunbaes, Nayeon and Yeonjun sunbaenims. Lisa unnie is standing behind Nayeon sunbaenim looking also at me, she nods at me as if to say her bye, I did the same and proceeded to go inside the van.
When I'm already inside, I looked outside and see that almost all the people with us has already left, Yeonjun sunbaenim is getting inside his service, the same as Nayeon sunbaenim and Lisa unnie.
I looked at Lisa unnie and came to a thought or more like a realization. Lisa unnie has been looking out for me since the morning that she came to the location of the shooting, even though I'm kinda rude to her and I don't know how to feel about it...