Jennie and Lisa moved on from the scene where Irene caught them red-handed as if nothing had ever happened and still stole kisses and moments whenever they got a chance to. They were reckless from time to time but never to the point where someone caught them red-handed again. And probably due to the hectic hours they spent on their upcoming comeback, the incident with Irene easily slipped away from their memories.
It was when they attended Inkigayo for their latest single, As If It's Your Last, together with Red Velvet who were promoting their latest single, Red Flavor, that the flashback resurfaced, making Lisa choose to avoid the particular eldest member of Red Velvet—praying to all gods there were above that they would not be involved in a scene where they would be forced to interact with each other—as if what they shared that one night Jennie ditched the both of them fell meaningless for Lisa.
"Lisa-yah, eonni gave you this," Chaeyoung who just got back to their dressing room backstage after going her way to grab some food handed Lisa a pack of sandwiches. Lucky her, so she thought. She had been starving but retouching her hair and makeup took quite some time she could not spare even a second to grab a bite.
"Ah, thank you, Chong-ah," she quickly grabbed the sandwich but stopped as soon as she saw Chaeyoung's eyes that were fixed on the very sandwich she was handed over, along with her visible watery mouth. Clearly, the woman was starving too.
Well, Chaeyoung was always hungry and ready for food anyway.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Lisa eyed the woman then scoffed seeing her being thrown back, "You want this, don't you?" Lisa continued before Chaeyoung could express her hunger to the youngest. Feverishly she nodded to Lisa who understood her very well.
With that Lisa handed the other half of her sandwich to the woman who immediately bit it and had her cheeks puffing like a chipmunk getting ready for winter, stuffing walnuts in her mouth until her chewing stopped abruptly at a subtle taste of something that was clearly not part of the sandwich.
She just bit a tiny piece of... Paper?
"Lisa-yah, what is this?" Chaeyoung confusedly asked as she pulled a piece of paper she just found out of the wrapper and unconsciously swallowed the other half piece in her mouth.
Lisa took the half-bitten paper from Chaeyoung's hand and inspected it to find out writing on it. Half-bitten writing saying "화ㅇ" and nothing else.
What on earth?
"Yah, Chong-ah! Which eonni gave me this exactly?"
"Irene... Eonni?"
Damn it.
"Ah seriously, how could you not see this?" Frustratedly Lisa protested to Chaeyoung who could just stare at her friend in a daze.
"I'm sorry, I was hungry," guilt was about to seep into her system when she realised where Lisa's concern lay, "Wait, you're more concerned that the paper got bitten than me biting the paper? What the hell, Lisa!"
"Exactly. You can digest the paper but I can't replace this," Lisa waved that tiny piece of paper in front of Chaeyoung who then appeared to suddenly find enlightenment.
"Ah!"
"What—What now?" Lisa slightly jumped from the sudden exclaim from the ever-so-expressive Chaeyoung.
"No wonder eonni specifically asked me to give you this one. What is this even?" She grabbed the piece of paper that was apparently a note and read the whole thing before Lisa could stop her. Chaeyoung had her eyes widened for a split second before the surprise on her face turned into a teasing smirk. Despite only seeing half of the supposed-message, sharp Chaeyoung could easily put the two and two together.
It was a tradition—well, sort of. A tradition between idols at Inkigayo backstage, where they shared their numbers by slipping them into the sandwiches and giving the sandwiches to whom the number was for. Although in that case—instead of number, Lisa was getting a short message, it was clear to Chaeyoung that Irene just initiated the tradition towards Lisa, which was quite unorthodox considering it had only been done from a male idol to a female one, but screw the tory, right?
"Yah! Since when?"
"Long story. Ah, seriously, now I have to go to thank her."
"Does Jennie Eonni know about this?" Chaeyoung popped up with a question that took Lisa aback.
"What does Jennie have to do with any of this?"
"What do you take Jisoo Eonni and me for, Lisa? Fools?"
They—knew?
Chaeyoung's smirk said it all.
Then the truth was finally out, Lisa could not possibly brew what she ought to think. Her brain was poorly squeezed just so she could come up with some excuse but there was nothing she could think of.
"The walls aren't as thick as Jennie and you think they are, Lis."
Chaeyoung intentionally emphasised Jennie's name without any honorifics to tease the way Lisa addressed the eonni. Although Lisa had been careful, her habit of calling Jennie with just Jennie, Jen, or Nini usually still accidentally slipped off of her mouth.
And that was usually enough to leave the younger with horror on her face, which at that time was enough to crack Chaeyoung up to tears. It was always fun to tease Lisa, she was so naive—it was easy to fool the youngest and get a reaction from her. Jisoo was the one who made use of that perks the most out of the three. Then, Chaeyoung could pretty much understand why Jisoo chose to tease Lisa on daily basis as a hobby.
"Calm down. I don't judge. I'm happy if you are," Chaeyoung tried to calm the younger down after throwing her fit of a laugh.
Lisa was the first one she met out of her members and the first one she got close to during their trainee days. It was at the ever-so-long elevator ride back when she first came as a trainee after meeting Yang Sajangnim, their CEO. She could remember clearly that moment when she first met the youngest because back then Lisa had this hairstyle where she tried the look of the early day Justin Bieber, but instead of looking like the former teen pop star, her habit of tying only some strands on the top of her hair making her look like a walking apple.
They basically grew up together and shared everything. Despite having an older sister, Chaeyoung still felt as if she was facing a new experience of having a sibling when she met Lisa. It was probably because Lisa was more like the other side of her coin, who shared many common grounds with her that only the both of them were able to relate to.
Lisa was also the first who came to her side of the bed on the first few nights she first came to be a trainee. Lisa knew how it must be hard for her to be away from her family in a completely foreign environment because Lisa, too, once felt what she felt when she first came to South Korea all the way from Thailand a year prior.
It was probably the third or fourth night of Chaeyoung trying to swallow her tears down from the unavoidable loneliness she could not help seep into her heart when Lisa dragged her to the practice room where Jennie and Jisoo were waiting for them with a guitar.
They spent that night away until the sun barged in, sparking a new day right in their presence and for a moment she forgot the suffocating feeling of not being able to see her parents for an indefinite time. For that, Chaeyoung was forever grateful to the younger and their eonnis.
"Thanks, Chaeng," was what Lisa told her when one of the Inkigayo staff came into their dressing room to tell them they were up in 5 minutes for the program closing. Chaeyoung smiled at her best friend as they stepped out of the dressing room.
That was when Lisa saw Irene again in the same space where they inhaled the same oxygen supply. It took her aback since she did not expect to encounter the older so abruptly that she had to debate whether or not she should approach her. She tried to make eye contact but she quivered and took back her gaze as soon as she initiated it. She could not help her indecisive arse.
But apparently, Irene decided for the both of them.
Because Lisa knew Irene saw her but the beautiful goddess just walked away as if avoiding her. She must be imagining things though because why would Irene avoid her, right?
So Lisa acted nonchalantly and together with Chaeyoung gathered with Jisoo and Jennie who just got back from the washroom. The closing would start soon and Lisa had time to actually approach Irene just to thank her for the sandwich she gave and get it over with, but seeing Irene with her members once again quivered her intention. So she settled with sticking with her group and following the rest of the show.
Red Velvet won their award for the fifth time.
Lisa was happy about it as she saw Irene giving a speech; thanking and bowing to everyone. That leader of Red Velvet even turned her back to greet everyone who was standing behind her; including herself and her members—well, mostly to her members—so she mustered her courage about to approach Irene when she decided against it for the third time.
What the hell was wrong with her? She could only wonder.
In the end, Lisa did not get to thank Irene for the sandwich she gave her and it had been hours since she got Irene's number from Jennie yet she was still gathering her courage up just to send one simple text.
Why did she get this worked up over texting someone? It was not a big deal, really. It was just a simple text, so what was so terrifying about it?
Oh, screw it.
[to 아이린 선배] Hi, sunbae. This is Lisa. Thank you for the sandwich and congratulations on the win today! ^^
There!
It was not that hard, was it?
Ding!
That exact ding from her phone strummed a continuous stringing beat of the drum in her heart. So fast that she felt as if her heart was about to grow a pair of legs and deliberately jump out of her chest. Apparently, that was what terrified her; the feeling of the unstoppable beat of the drum in her heart.
[from 아이린 선배] Hi, Lisa! Thank you and you're welcome :) I hope you enjoyed it!
Lisa smiled relievedly. There it went. She could rest easy then.
[from 아이린 선배] Is it okay if I call you?
Or so she thought.
Before she got a chance to think about it, her phone was already buzzing along with the typical phone call ringing. It startled her that she automatically just tapped the green button.
Crap.
"H—Hello."
"Hello," it was firm. It was subtle. It sparked something in Lisa's stomach and she swore she could hear Irene's smile from the other end.
"Are you at your dorm now?" Irene asked casually, holding the situation.
"Yes, sunbae. Have you arrived as well?"
"Yes."
And silence. The both of them seemed to be contemplating what to say next—it was not awkward, however. Lisa felt like she could just put her phone on her ear while listening to Irene's presence at the other end of the line. It was surprisingly calming.
"Lisa," Irene beat Lisa breaking the comfortable silence between them, "Did you avoid me earlier?"
Lisa was taken aback. Did she?
It was not like she could say yes to the question even if it was the truth, was it?
"Ah, that's not—I—I was just. Well, I wasn't sure whether or not I should approach you. I was—I—I was shy."
"Next time if you see me first just greet me. Don't throw your gaze away. Okay?"
So Irene did see her but she walked away thinking Lisa avoided her because she avoided Irene's gaze. Well done, Lisa.
"Okay," Her voice was lighter then as if a burden was just lifted off of her vocal cord.
"You should rest now. You must be tired."
"You too, sunbae," Lisa replied to the older girl whose scoff was heard following her response.
"And you really should drop the formality. It was eonni before, why do we go back to square one?"
"Ah, I'm sorry. Force of habit, I suppose," Lisa giggled as she felt the warmth of comfort seeping into her system, "Good night, eonni. Sleep well."
"That's better." Lisa finally knew why she could hear Irene's smile, it was because she had been smiling as well—something that comically enough she just realised because her cheeks were then finally hurting, "Good night, Lisa-yah. Sleep tight."
"Who was that?"
Jennie who had just come into Lisa's bedroom with half-wet hair questioned her as she made her way next to the younger lass who opened her arms to engulf her small eonni in her embrace.
"Irene Eonni," she said distractedly.
"Hmmm?" Jennie could not help the curiosity building up at the back of her mind. First Lisa asked her for Irene's number after spending quite some time seemingly trying to stall the time as if she was waiting for someone back at SBS. It was unusual since Lisa usually was the first one who ran for the van to leave the building as soon as their schedule ended.
Was she waiting for Irene?
"She gave me a sandwich earlier, I called her to thank her."
"Ah," Jennie distractedly responded Lisa, involuntarily enjoying the random circles Lisa drew at her back instead of dwelling in her train of thoughts that would do her nothing good. After all, Lisa just answered the question sparking in her mind so she could not care less. Her eyelids were getting heavier with the soft distracting strokes from Lisa anyway, so might as well enjoy it.
Jennie enjoyed that kind of moment with the woman who provided her comfort and assurance. She knew with Lisa she could do anything.
"Jisoo Eonni and Chaeyoung know about us. About this," Lisa said referring to their activities. Their privately shared activities.
"Okay," Jennie gave her response. It was quite an unexpected one that Lisa involuntarily furrowed her eyebrows. She was not tensed up from the news as Lisa expected her to, it was as if Jennie had expected exactly that.
"You're not worried?" Lisa slightly shifted trying to address her confusion to the woman who was comfortably resting her head on her chest; Jennie seemed to be enjoying the lullaby of the slow beating rhythm of her heart.
"It's not like we have anything to hide from them, is it?" Jennie reasoned.
"We're not?"
"We're not."
Firmly, Jennie confirmed her opinion to Lisa. She did think that they did not have anything to hide from both Jisoo and Chaeyoung—or anyone, really. Because between the two of them, there was hardly anything; they did not talk about it, they did not even mention it, they did nothing about it except for the snogging, the cuddling, and all those in between, but other than that, there was nothing. So what was it they were supposed to hide when there was nothing to begin with?
"I love you, Lili."
Lisa froze. She froze as if a curse had been planted on her whole body that she failed to perform any motor function, resulting in the continuous rub on Jennie's back finding its affix—its "un" prefix to be exact.
"In case it wasn't clear for you before, now let me make myself clear."
Jennie claimed as she removed her head from Lisa's chest and faced the woman who had been giving her nothing but a warm feeling of home. She stared at the woman long enough but never exactly enough as she missed how the world where they both resided faded away and that there were only the two of them left. The world where she was alright, where they were alright.
And as it was as to how all curses were supposed to be broken, Jennie planted a small kiss on Lisa's lips and the woman finally found herself being rendered back in motion.
"I'm sorry for the sudden confession. But I think we have a long-overdue kiss we need to talk about."
Lisa just stared at her best friend. She was too stunned to speak. So Jennie, with her cold trembling hands holding Lisa's, continued what she ought to tell.
"I don't need you to reply to me with anything," Jennie said, "And I don't care if what you have for me isn't the same as what I have for you but this is me, Lisa," Jennie smiled as her lenses started to get blurry from her tears. That was her, "Just plain old Jennie who falls in love with her best friend."
Jennie loved her.
Jennie loved her enough to shed the kind of tears that were so relieving it was suffocating. They were beautiful tears, flowing with a beautiful blooming smile. Lisa could feel the relief from Jennie, who had always been there for her ever since day one; the only constant thing for the past few years of her life—as constant as her current heartbeat right now.
Jennie did not utter any more words. She did not need to, Lisa knew everything then was up to her. She already had her answer and she knew exactly what it was even before Jennie said anything to her because yes, it was one overdue kiss they indeed needed to talk about.
"Well, it's about time, Nini."