"So let me get this right before we go in... Calliope is your best friend in Oregon, she's the eldest. Theodora is the youngest, and ranks straight after Calliope in best friend order, of which I cannot get wrong, or she may cut me?... am I correct so far?" Morgan asks, as we sit in the car outside the Nomikos home.
I turn in my seat and observe her serious expression, amused, as she tries to remember in detail my friends and family in Oregon. I nod "so far so good"
"Okay" she begins again, one finger poised in the air, her eyes roll back as she tries to remember the rest of them. "Demitra, or Demi, is a year younger than Calliope, and Thea is the third sibling. Thea has two boyfriends, and we mustn't mention the second because he isn't meant to exist... right?" She asks, and I nod.
"And Maria and Christos are the parents, they will hug me until I feel like I can't breath, but I will survive it. I just have to hang tight and they let go eventually... is that all good?" She asks.
I nod and smile, leaning forward, and capturing her lips softly. Morgan has put her hair up in a French braid, her golden hair making her look ethereal with the placement. Having her hair up reveals her cute little ears that kind of point up a little like a pixie, and they remind me of Allies brother Hyrums. I reach out and softly caress her ear, and she glares at me which makes me laugh a little "if you mention pixie ears one more time Willa" she says, trying to be serious, but losing her ability to hold back the smile behind it.
"I can't help it... you are just far too adorable" I confess, looking at her lovingly.
She looks back at me curiously. I am not hiding how much I like her very well, if at all, and I look away instantly feeling a little exposed.
Did I want Morgan to know that I was circling the word love, and putting a million lines through the word like this week? Did she need to know that it had already come to that?!
Shit... I was such a typical lesbian, falling in love with a weekend fling that should have lasted a weekend, but had breached the realms of real life, and had now gone rogue. She had met my family and friends, and was beginning to feel quite unlike a fling with each passing hour, and more like someone I needed to confess my undying love for.
"Get a grip Willa" I beg myself.
"Are you okay" she asks me, noting my withdrawal.
I smile "yes of course, let's go" I say, opening the car door and stepping out.
It was Sunday, and the Nomikos feast and interrogation was about to start. I hoped they would perhaps hold back the enthusiasm, at least a little, but knowing them... they didn't do holding back, they did running forward, arms spread...What is personal space? Let me squeeze you to death, I want to know and hear everything about you in one breath, yep that's how it would go.
Morgan rounds the car and takes my hand, squeezing it a little nervously. "do you think they will like me" she asks, looking almost angelic beside me in a white short playsuit, which showed off her long legs, bare arms and slender back. Why did she always look like she stepped out of a magazine? And why did I look like this?! I think, checking out my reflection in the car mirror. I was wearing tight fitting blue denim jeans with a casual white t shirt that slipped off one shoulder.
"What's wrong" she asks.
I look to her next to me and gulp a little " I just think you are a little out of my league. You could literally have anyone"
She frowns "Willa, don't say that... I don't want anyone... I want you"
She releases my hand and cups my cheeks, placing a longing kiss that lets me know I have no need for that worry. Morgan is very much into me, and I had to start believing it. She pulls away begrudgingly and I feel the worry slip away. "Now, don't ever say that again" she scolds.
I nod "I won't ever" I promise, gazing into her deep blue eyes, and finding only attraction and desire radiating from her stare.
"Now let's go in...I'm starving" she grumbled, taking my hand as we walk up the path to the door. Before we can even step foot on the front step, the door is thrown open, and a large group of Greeks try and clamber over each other to grab her first. The chatter is deafening between them, and you can't hear anything anymore, nothing but the beautiful Greek words coming thick and fast, a bustling, elbows in stomachs kind of commotion.
"Willa" Maria calls in her friendly accent. "Ooh My My" she says coming first and grabbing Morgan's face. She squeezed her cheeks "Welcome Morgan" she greets "ooh such a beauty... I like this one Willa, oh yes" she says looking her over "she will do just fine" she adds, as if she is assessing her as a mail order bride.
Morgan looks sideways at me a little terrified of the others coming, one by one, looking her up and down "Perfect" Demi whispers admiring her hair and ear piercings "you are literally my dream girl, and I'm not even a smidge gay" she whispers. Calliope pushes her out the way, and sticks out her hand, but not waiting for a response she grabs her instead, taking her off of her feet "So good to finally meet you" she greets, releasing her.
Morgan finally takes a much needed breath, and smiles "Callie I've heard only good things"
Callie let's out a short and loud laugh. It catches Morgan off guard, and she jumps back slightly.
"All lies then" Callie admits, slapping my arm and allowing Teddy to push through from behind her.
"Hi Morgan" she says sticking out her fist.
Morgan looks to me unsure of what she was meant to do "fist bump" I remind her.
She looks relieved "oh yes" she says, and she turns back and bumps her fist into Teddy's.
"Oh my" Christos says "Willa you pick them good... she is something" he observes, lifting Morgan off her feet like Calliope had, and squeezing her before placing her back down with a large smile "any girl of Willa's is a friend of ours" he says, and he slaps my back, which makes me cough a little, he was impressed at my choice of girl.
Morgan laughs at my expense, before Thea and the Nomikos grandmother appear in front of her "oh hi" Morgan greets, but grandmother doesn't speak English, she just mutters some Greek and kisses Morgan's hand before going back inside. Grandmother Nomikos was dressed all in black, she had been in mourning for her husband for twenty years, and I had never seen her in anything but black.
"Hi" Thea said, looking Morgan up and down impressed "I didn't know Willa had it in her ... but damn Wills. I was wrong. I'm sorry"
I tilt my head in her direction "you are forgiven" I reply "although my confidence from your annihilation of my dating abilities has not recovered, and does not forgive you"
Thea rolls her eyes " I said you were attractive Willa...I just meant you couldn't possibly pull a twelve, not when you were an attractive eight with zero dating history, and really fucked up flirting techniques"
"Her flirting is pretty terrible, I agree" Morgan adds, jumping on the bandwagon.
"Hey" I say hitting her arm jovially "don't join in"
"Willa you are a terrible flirt" she confesses.
I look at her, open mouthed "well" I say, forcing it shut "Then I'm not sure how I hooked up with such a twelve" I retort, one eyebrow cocked.
"You're probably good in bed" Thea announces.
We both look at her, wide eyed.
Morgan nods "exactly that" she agrees "she was surprisingly good in bed"
I shake my head at them both "you should both be ashamed of yourselves" I chastise playfully.
I leave them out on the porch talking, and walk into the house, straight to the dining room where the Nomikos clan sit. They begin pulling and picking at the many dishes on the table. I take a seat beside Teddy. She taps my leg "you did good Willa" she says revealing a gappy toothed smile. "I like her" she adds, her large brown eyes just like that of Callie who sat opposite.
"Me too" Callie nods, taking a large bite of her chicken thigh.
"Great teeth" Maria observes "and good strong arms... not to mention, hips good for babies" she adds.
I practically knock myself out, standing from the chair, quickly. It was like a whoosh of air had picked me up with the mention of babies and thrown me against the wooden shelf behind me, my head hitting it.
"Momma no" Calliope called and she went over and whispered into her ear.
I knew she was warning her off baby talk. Calliope was probably the only person in the world that I had confessed to, that I was terrified of the thought of having kids because of what happened to me. She knew the subject set my anxiety off.
"I will be right back" I say leaving the room quickly.
Morgan and Thea finally walked back in. I brush by them, not even really seeing them, and I slam the bathroom door, behind me. I hyperventilate at the anxiety and panic the subject has evoked. It was ridiculous, I knew it was ridiculous, but it was like all the fear and pain from what happened with my parents, them making me leave, and their reaction to me being gay, it had latched onto the idea of having children, and there it stayed.
"Willa" Morgan says knocking the door "are you okay" she asks.
I try and settle my breathing, splashing water on my face. "I will be right out" I promise.
"Open up" she demands.
I take a deep breath and unlatch the door, allowing her to come through, worry etched on her brow "what is it" she asks.
I take a moment to consider being honest with her, but it sounded so ridiculous that I couldn't, and I didn't.
"I felt a little light headed for some reason" I lie, and I smile softly, so that she can stop worrying.
She reaches out, and caresses my cheek "okay ... but you scared me" she whispers.
I frown "why" I ask, taking her hips in my hands and pulling her closer.
She looks like she's going to cry, like I did scare her, and now she knows I'm fine, she's so relieved that tears form. "Willa I thought perhaps you changed your mind, about me, meeting your people... like you suddenly regretted it. I know you said you've been waiting to get a girlfriend, and you've never had anyone longer than a fling, and I'm starting to worry" she confesses.
Her features all change, to concern, her teeth clamping down on her plump bottom lip in apprehension "Willa do you feel it?" She asks me.
I softly caress her arm, trying to soothe her "feel what" I ask.
She gulps a little "What you have been looking for" she asks me "Am I still just a fling to you, or is this going somewhere... because I'm not looking for...for now, either. I want more, and I need to know if you think that too... if you want more"
I take a moment, releasing her hips, and if I could pace the small space, I would, because this question was huge. Morgan wanted to know if I wanted to be with her, if I looked at her like she was forever, and I of course did. I was for sure falling for her, but the terrifying feeling that swept over me as she asked it of me, was that I thought to Allie. She filled my thoughts, visions of her looking at me like I was about to leave her behind, her icy blue eyes burning into me, her hand outstretched "take my hand" ... "Willa take my hand"
I feel overcome with feelings of having to let go, having to release Allie's hand, perhaps forever. I'm not sure I'm ready yet, but when would I be ready?! When would it never not hurt, to leave that idea of how we were behind, and move forward, move on, and leave that teenage one sided love and devotion behind. I had to stop it, and the time was now. I wasn't letting Allie go, she would always be my person, but it was time to bury the what's ifs and the past, time to take my future with both hands and go with what my heart was telling me, that it was alive and well and beating anew for Morgan Keaton, the most beautiful, ridiculously talented and extraordinary girl I had ever had the pleasure of meeting, let alone loving.
Morgan looks rejected, her lips wobbling a little as I hesitate "Willa it's okay... I understand. I'm going to go" she says, going to reach for the door.
I jump forward and pull her back, my hands desperately grabbing her shoulders and then slipping up to her cheeks "Morgan no... don't you dare walk away... I'm not hesitating because I don't feel it... I'm hesitating because I do"
"You do" she says breathlessly, her eyes filling.
"I do" I confess "and I don't know what to do about it, because it's new and you are a complete and wonderful surprise that I didn't ever expect to find, and certainly not on a conference weekend. And then there's the fact that I've only known you weeks, not months. It's absolutely ridiculous to feel so much, so soon, don't you think this is soon...and a little insane?" I ask.
Her fingers tighten on my t shirt, pulling me closer "it's absolutely ridiculous. If anyone told me three weeks ago that I would meet a girl and feel this strongly about her, in a couple weeks, I would have laughed in their face... but we can't both be wrong Willa... can we?" She asks.
"If we are both wrong, let's enjoy being wrong for a little while... because so far it feels good... perhaps a little too good to be wrong" I say smiling.
She inhales deeply, her chest visibly rising. I erase the space between us and bring her lips to mine, it is a gentle caress as my lips slip into hers. Slow and sensual kisses build into hungrier, and more intense, rhythmic brushes of her tongue against mine. A warm sensation floods through my body.
"Knock knock" Calliope calls.
We both jump away from each other, with a little laugh "yes" I call out teasingly.
"It's starting to look like you guys might be hooking up in there, so hurry back to the table please. I can't take any more speculation on Willa and her girlfriend, and what they are, or are not doing, on my mommas favourite vanity"
My cheeks redden with embarrassment "be right out" I call.
Morgan looks to me teasingly "they think I'm your girlfriend" she teases.
I slip my hand through the side of her playsuit, running it under her bra, and raising my eyebrows suggestively, as my thumb slips over her nipple. She moans, quite by surprise, reaching out and grabbing my wrist tightly, before raising her eyebrows back at me "Im sorry Willa" she taunts, removing my hand as it slips away from her warm flesh "this body is reserved for my girlfriend" she says playfully.
I cock an eyebrow "two can play at that game" I suggest, and I unlatch the door.
"Wait, what does that mean" she asks, falling straight into the trap.
"It means, we have six days left of this visit together ... in a house... in a bed... alone, and now neither of us can touch each other again" I reply, teasingly.
"Willa Jameson... will you please... for the love of god...be my girlfriend... because that sounds fucking awful" she says, reaching for me and pulling me back into the small space with her.
I smile so widely that my cheeks pain me. "Since you put that soooo romantically Morgan..." I tease, eyebrows wiggling "yes ... yes of course I will" I reply playfully.
She wraps her arms around my neck, and presses her lips to mine, her tongue darting over my teeth and pushing onto my own. The heat from the exchange threatened to start a revolution between my legs, but with her arms wrapped around my neck, a warm feeling fills my belly, it isn't lust, it's love. I have never felt so content to be in someone's embrace. The kiss slows, it pulls back, it deepens, and it becomes loving and sweet... and I suddenly had the urge to make love to her, slow, soft, meaningful and gentle...to have her feel how delicately she has taken my heart and made it whole again.
"Willa" we hear Teddy calling, and we smile against each other's lips.
"We better go back and reintroduce you" I suggest.
She takes my hand as we unlatch the door. We walk back out to the dining room, the family all stop talking as we enter, an absolute impossible thing to accomplish. "Everyone, please meet Morgan... my girlfriend" I reveal, looking to her lovingly. She returns the gaze. The sound that then erupted from the table was deafening. Nomikos young and old all jumped up from the table, and surrounded us, with hugs and kisses, and then more hugs. I'm pretty sure if they could have got us up in the air, and given us the bumps, that they would have.