CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
In the days following the ball, life finally began getting back to normal. McKenna no longer feared either going to sleep or waking up, even if she did feel a tiny hint of relief each morning when she opened her eyes and found herself beneath Loki's protective arm, felt the coolness of his body against her back. And thankfully, Selig seemed to adjust as well.
Aislinn, however, was a bit slower to come around. She did her best to become Loki's shadow, insisting on sitting on his lap at meals, and rarely letting him out of her sight. At night, he couldn't leave her room until she was asleep and her nightmares continued.
They planned on leaving for New Jersey in a few days, after Selig's birthday and McKenna couldn't remember the last time she looked so forward to going home. For the first time since the night Loki told her he was going in search of the Infinity Stones, she wasn't dreading going to their house. For the first time since that night, she would be happy to be there, surrounded by the memories of the life they'd built together.
Selig's fifth birthday was, in his words, the best one ever, as he spent it racing around with his friends on a beautiful, sunny afternoon. That night, when McKenna came in to tuck him into bed, he was still smiling.
She perched on the edge of his bed. "Did you have a good birthday, Sel?"
"Mommy, it was the best one ever and you know what the best present was?"
"What's that, love?"
"That Daddy was here."
She hadn't expected him to answer with that, and unexpected tears pricked the backs of her eyes. "You should tell him that, sweetie. I think he'd like to hear it."
"Okay."
"I'll send him in." She patted him through the covers, then bent over to kiss his forehead. "Good night, my big five year old boy. Happy Birthday."
He threw his arms about her neck and gave her a squeeze. "Thank you, Mommy."
She untangled herself and made her way to the Throne Room, where Loki and Odin were deep in discussion about something. Her belly gave a nervous twist. No. Odin couldn't possibly be sending him somewhere else now. Not yet.
But both men smiled as she crested the aisle and Odin waved her down. "You needn't look so worried, McKenna."
"Does it show that much?"
Loki nodded. "You look ready to throttle someone."
"Do I have reason to?" she asked, looking from Loki to Odin and back.
"Not at all." Loki held out a hand. "Which of us were you looking for?"
"You. Selig's waiting for his goodnight from you."
Turning to Odin, Loki said, "Excuse me a minute, Allfather."
"Of course. Duty calls."
Catching McKenna by the hand, Loki said, "Stop frowning, love. I promise you, I am not going anywhere except back to New Jersey come tomorrow."
She waited until they were out on the promenade before saying, "Are you really not going anywhere?"
He gave her hand a squeeze. "I am not going anywhere." With that, he brought her hand to his lips and brushed it with a kiss. "I promise you, darling girl, I'm not leaving."
"You better not be or else I swear I'll kick your Jötunn ass."
His chuckle rolled out like a thick fog. "Somehow, I'm not exactly frightened."
She sighed as he pulled his hand free to drape that arm about her neck. "Loki, I'm not even kidding around."
"I know you aren't." He stopped and spun her about to face him. "And I promise you, I am not going anywhere except home with you, Midgardian."
"So what are you and Odin discussing?"
"You don't need to worry-"
"You keep saying that, but the more you say it, the more I feel like I do have to worry."
"McKenna," he sighed, catching her face between his hands, "we were just discussing how long we're going to be on Midgard for. That's all. He'd like us to be back for Christmas."
"But Asgardians don't celebrate Christmas."
"They do now, darling girl."
She rolled her eyes. "Are you kidding me?"
"Not one bit. We're going home for Halloween and Thanksgiving and I told Odin we'd be back for Christmas."
"Fair enough."
"Besides," he leaned in to brush her lips with his, "this way, we have someone to watch the children on our anniversary."
"I'm liking this idea a little more."
"I thought you might."
She sighed as he pulled back and draped his arm about her shoulders. As she leaned her head against his shoulder, Loki gave her a gentle squeeze. "What is it, McKenna?"
"Did you see Thanos? I mean, see him like look him in the eye?"
It might have just been her imagination, but his hand tightened on her shoulder, his fingers pressing into her. "I did."
"What did he do?"
"Love, I'd really rather not relive it, if it's all the same to you."
She glanced up at him as the hand on her shoulder relaxed now. Then, she slid her arm about his waist to give him a gentle squeeze. "It's fine if you don't want to tell me. I promise I won't press."
Her eyes closed as he pressed a kiss into the top of her head. "Thank you."
"Just tell me one thing?"
"What?"
"Tell me he didn't hurt you."
This time, he stopped to pull her into his chest. He wrapped his arms about her. "He didn't. Not too badly, anyway. I'm fine."
She slid both arms about him, letting her head come to rest on his chest. Since his return, she found it soothing, just hearing the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear. The thought of Thanos laying hands on him, of him hurting Loki, no matter how badly, made her want to throw up. "Am I going to find another scar?"
"No, love," he whispered, kissing the top of her head once more. "No more scars. I promise you. I'm fine. No nightmares. No scars. No reminders whatsoever."
Lifting her head, she peered up at him. "Really?"
He nodded. "Really. Now, no more worrying about me, all right, darling girl? I'm fine. I'm exactly as I was before I left. Better even, because it's all well and truly behind me. Now," he brushed her lips with a gentle kiss, "let's go so I can tuck Selig in. I've missed that as much as anything else. And tomorrow, we gather up the children and go home."
She smiled, tightening her arms about him. "I do like the sound of that, Jötunn."
***
When he stepped into the kitchen from the deck, Loki felt the last of the tension leave his body. The house had a closed-up feeling and once the twins were down in their play yard, McKenna disappeared upstairs to open some windows.
It was a glorious autumn day, the trees all looking ablaze with fiery reds, yellows, and gold tops as their leaves turned. The air was warm, but with a hint of the crispness that would accompany sunset.
He closed the French doors and just gazed out at the backyard. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward until his forehead pressed into the cool glass. He'd never been so glad to be home, truly home, as he was then. And this was home, this house in Hunterdon County, New Jersey, where he'd built this wonderful life with McKenna and their children. Being away for so long, watching them as they suffered while he could do nothing to ease that suffering, made him seriously question his desire for the Asgardian throne. He was coming to the conclusion that it wasn't worth putting his family through so much. They mattered more to him than anything in all nine realms.
But, at the same time, when he did ascend the throne, it would give him the power to go after Thanos and eradicate him entirely.
"Daddy?"
Aislinn's voice was soft, as was the hand she slipped into his, and he opened his eyes to gaze down at her. "What is it, little bit?"
"Are you okay? You seem sad."
He sighed softly, giving her hand a squeeze before crouching down to meet her eyes. "I'm fine, sweetling. I'm where I belong again and all is right in the world."
She held her dog, absently rubbing her cheek with its ear. "Really?"
He nodded. "Really."
"Did a bad man hurt you, like that bad man hurt Mommy that one time?"
"No." He reached out to brush a wavy dark tendril away from her face. Her green eyes were every bit as expressive as McKenna's, wide and holding a hint of fear. That fear made him want to scoop her into his arms and hold her close until she no longer felt it. "No one hurt me, sweetling. Why do you ask?"
"You seem so sad."
"I do?"
She nodded. "Do you want to leave here?"
"Oh, little bit, absolutely not." Now he did scoop her up, cradling her close as he kissed her temple. "Why would you ask that?"
She shrugged. "I don't know."
"Something had to prompt it."
She looked up at him. "What's prompt?"
"It means something made you think to ask me that." He shifted her slightly so he could open one French door and stepped out into the bright sunlight. "So, what was it?"
Another shrug. "I don't know."
"Aislinn," he sank onto the bench built into the railing along the back of the deck, "you can tell me. I won't be angry or upset with you?"
She didn't answer him, but stared down at the dog in her left arm, shifting it to her lap, where she twisted its ears. "I heard you talking to Bestefar."
He nodded, smoothing her hair back over her ear. "And what did you hear?"
"That you wanted to front someone."
"Front?"
She nodded. "You told Bestefar that." Her eyes widened and her bottom lip trembled. "Are you going to be gone again?"
"No, sweetling," he said softly, tightening his arms about her. She snuggled against him, tucking her head against him and he smoothed a hand over her hair. "I am not going anywhere. What you heard me saying to Bestefar was that if the opportunity showed itself for me to confront Thanos, I would gladly take it. But I am not going in search of him."
"Is he the man who hurt Mommy?"
"No, little bit. That man will never hurt anyone again."
"How do you know?"
Loki paused. He knew because he was the one who killed Ward, but Aislinn certainly didn't need to know that. "Because I do, Aislinn, and that is all I will say about that."
"Daddy?" She lifted her head and her eyes were serious as she said, "Did he hurt you?"
"Did who hurt me?"
"Fanos?"
He sighed softly, his hand going still on her hair. How did he answer her without either upsetting her or scaring her? When Selig was born, Loki swore he would never lie to him and when Aislinn came along, he vowed the same thing. Only, that promise was far easier to keep when they were babies.
"Little bit, you don't need to worry about that, all right?" He caught her under the chin with one finger and lifted her face to his. "All you need know is that I'm here and I'm not leaving."
Her bottom lip quivered. "He did, didn't he, Daddy?"
"Oh, darling girl," he murmured, kissing her forehead. "It was a long time ago and as you can see, I am fine."
"Don't front him again."
"I'm not." He pressed her close. "I promise you."
Aislinn shifted to kneel on his thighs, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You better not."
"I won't, baby girl," he murmured, giving her another gentle squeeze. "You have nothing to be afraid of, Aislinn. I promise you that."
"I missed you, Daddy. A lot."
He closed his eyes as they began to sting, and he had to clear his throat before he could answer her with, "I know you did, little bit. And I missed you. And you have no reason to be afraid any longer. I am not going anywhere."
Her little body began to tremble and he realized she was crying into his shoulder. He tightened his arms around her, rocking her as he whispered, "Don't cry, baby girl. It's all right now. Daddy's home and he's not leaving again. I promise you that, Aislinn. I promise."
"Loki?" McKenna poked her head out the door. "Tony Stark is on the phone for you."
He didn't miss the tight note of concern in her voice and he nodded. "Take a message, love, please? I'm going to sit out here with Aislinn a bit longer."
Her forehead furrowed. "Is everything all right?"
"Everything's fine. Just a little leftover emotion, that's all."
"Do you want me to take her?"
He shook his head. "No. I've got this, love."
"Okay." She still looked concerned, but went back inside. Whatever it was Stark wanted, it could wait. He wasn't high on Loki's list of people to talk to right now, especially since the last time he spoke to Stark, he put his family through hell.
He sat, rocking Aislinn until she went quiet against him. He thought she might have fallen asleep, but then her right hand came up to press into his cheek. "Daddy?"
Her voice was a sleepy whisper and he leaned back to gaze down at her. "What, sweetling?"
"I'm glad you're home."
"Me, too, little bit." He smiled, kissing her forehead. "Me, too."
The door opened again and McKenna smiled. "We've been invited to dinner at Stark Tower tonight and Tony's promised no nasty surprises. They just want to welcome you home."
Loki grinned up at her. "Did you ever think the day would come when Tony Stark wanted to welcome me back to Midgard?"
She came out onto the deck and walked over to slip her arm about his shoulders. "Of course I did. I'm the eternal optimist, remember?"
He eased one arm about her waist and pressed her close. "Do we need to see if Allison is available?"
"Nope. The children are welcome, although I'm a little leery of what Tony Stark might have to entertain them with." She gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I'll go pack some of their things, just in case."
"Good thinking." Loki kissed the top of Aislinn's head. "Did you hear that, little bit?"
"Will Cap be there?"
"Probably." McKenna reached down to ruffle her hair. "And I think Natasha will be as well."
Aislinn smiled. If Cap was Selig's favorite Avenger, then Natasha was Aislinn's. "Can I sit with her?"
"We'll have to see. Now, why don't you get into the tub?" McKenna held her hand out and waited for Aislinn to slide down off Loki's lap, and as McKenna led Aislinn inside, Loki leaned back against the railing and closed his eyes. He really didn't want to go into New York City tonight, but he was curious to see what Tony really wanted.
He only hoped it wasn't going to cause any more trouble.