TW//brief mentions of su!c!de
August pov
I wake up with tight arms around me. I open my eyes slowly and see Eli holding me. Memories from last night rush through my head and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. So much happened in such a short time. He stopped me. I was going to do it. I didn't. He saved me. I sigh and stare at the ceiling. I smiled slightly, part of me was glad I was still here. It would take time to recover and get better, but I think Eli knows and I hope he'll stay with me throughout that process.
Then it hit me, he said he loved me, and I said I loved him. He could've just said that because he literally walked in on me trying to end it. He could mean platonically. I sigh and choose to ignore it for now. I feel Eli shift and I look at him. I see him blink a few times before opening his eyes fully and looking down at me. He smiles, his eyes creasing. He sits up with me silently and hugs me, putting his head in the crook of my neck.
"Good morning." He whispers. His breath of my neck sends a chill down my spine and my stomach turns itself into knots.
"Morning." I whisper back. "Thank you." I hug him back tightly.
"I'm just glad you're here with me now, and you better stay for the rest of my life." He says with a little laugh. I smile and play with his hair.
"I promise I will, and I won't break it this time." I say and he nods along with a hum. We both sit up and I grab the notes I wrote yesterday and put them into my drawer. I take down the rope and Eli takes it.
"I'll throw this away somewhere." He says and I nod. He leaves the room so I can change, and I put on a tee shirt for the first time in forever. I look down at my arm to see the fresh scars from yesterday. I trace them lightly with my finger, careful not to hurt myself again. I trace them all before putting on a pair of comfortable jeans. I walk downstairs and see Eli on the couch. I sit down next to him, and he turns his head to me and smiles before turning back to his phone. I place my head on his shoulder and look at his phone as he scrolls through twitter.
"Do you want something to eat?" I ask after a bit.
"No, I'm good, I ate a big dinner last night and my parents are taking me out for lunch. Thanks though." He says kindly and I nod.
"Well, I'm gonna go get something." I say and he nods. I stand up and get to the kitchen, deciding to make some simple toast. I grab the bread out of the pantry and turn around to see Eli there. I scream and almost have a heart attack. "WHAT THE HELL!" I yell.
"What?! You scared me!" He says as he puts his hand on his chest dramatically.
"I scared you? You popped out of nowhere." I exclaim. Eli shakes his head and fake cries. I roll my eyes playfully and take the bread out of the bag before putting the pieces into the toaster. I put the bread back, getting a plate after. The toast pops up, mildly startling me. I grab it and plop it onto my plate, spreading butter on it. I eat it quickly and throw away my paper plate when I finish. I sit next to Eli and look at his phone once again.
"What time are you leaving?" I ask.
"Soon I think, but I have something cool planned for us to do tomorrow." He says, nudging me.
"Sounds nice, I'm excited." I say happily. We talked a bit before getting cut off by his phone ringing. He picks it up and his parents tell him he has to come home. He looks at me sadly and tells me he has to go. He stands up and puts on his shoes. I stand up and he hugs me tightly. I hugged him back.
"Don't do anything dumb while I'm gone." He laughs a little but then pulls away and looks down at me, making eye contact. "But seriously don't. Call me if you need anything." He says firmly.
"Okay Mr Boo I will. Have fun at lunch." I say and smile at him. He smiles back before walking out the door and to his car. I watch as he sits in the car and drives off. I smile and look at the coat rack. I smile and grab my phone and earbuds, slipping on my coat. Today was a good day to take a walk, take a breath from everything that happened the day before. And I was right. The air was crisp, filled with new hopes. The wind was calming, swaying the trees and the grass back and forth. Music filled my ears with its melody. Animals run around, birds fly, and bugs crawl. Everything is in place, new beginnings starting and old things coming to an end. For me, it was a new beginning.
Although I've been alive I haven't been living and it was about time I did.