TW, hitting, fighting, mentions of e@ting dis0rder, mentions of bulimia, mentions of blood, mentions of abuse/abusive relationships.
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Peter's POV
The Avengers do this thing once a month where we watch a movie together. We are watching Empire Strikes Back, it's my favorite movie. But Y/N and I took up a couch and she is laying on my lap asleep.
Now I don't know whether to look at her or the movie. She is just absolutely breathtaking, the way her mouth slightly parts when she is resting or the way her eyelashes look when her eyes are closed.
But on the other hand, Empire Strikes Back is the best movie in the world and it's so self explanatory on why it's so good. But then my girlfriend. But also the movie.
Oh I wonder if she is cold. "Hey, can someone go get a blanket?" I ask in a whispered tone. Pepper nods her head and gets up from the ground. Ever since we went to Love On Tour a week ago, Y/N cries about everyday. It's funny.
A few seconds later, Pepper tosses me a blanket and I thank her. I lay it across Y/N and then I begin playing with her hair. I love how soft it is between my fingers. God I love her.
She is absolutly perfect.
She pulls herself closer to my legs, I rub her cheek then I put my eyes back up to the TV. But god she is so distracting. How on Earth can someone be that beautiful?
I pull out my phone and take a picture secretly. Once I put my phone back in my pocket and look up at the screen, it is turned off and everyone is standing up. "What?" I mumble.
"You missed the whole movie staring at a girl, kid." Bucky raises his eyebrows then walks away. Everyone left and now it's just me and Y/N.
"Oh..." I wrinkle my eyebrows. I don't want to have to wake her up... Ah, what do I do? I'll just wake her up then apologize. Something Y/N hates is when I wake her up, she loves her sleep. I caress her face then begin speaking, "Darling, you have to get up."
"Why?" She mumbles under her breath.
"Because the movie is over, you have to go to your room." I explained.
"No thank you." She shakes her head. "Now let me sleep."
"Nope." I grinned as I began poking her over and over again.
"You fucker." She sighs and sits up, getting mad at me for waking her up as usual.
"Sorry for waking you." I utter as I begin walking to her room with her.
"It's alright." She smiles, her smile is so crazy beautiful. I feel bad though... Because she doesn't even know who I am right now. I've tried to stop, I truly have. But I can't.
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Y/N's POV
Peter and I got ready for bed. There is this thing where neither of us sleep well without being in each other's arms, so tonight we are in my room asleep.
Peter has been off lately, I have been noticing it more and more. After we eat he leaves for the bathroom. Which is an obvious sign of bulimia. I try to make him feel loved and I don't want him to be hurting this way. I don't know if he is concerned about his body weight or if it is because of May.
God I really hope he is okay.
He slips into my bed next to me and pulls me close to him. "Goodnight, beautiful." He kisses my lips. I love him so much.
"Goodnight, Spider boy. I love you." I smile softly.
"What's wrong?" He wrinkles his eyebrows.
I shake my head. "Nothing." I lied.
"Darling, you can't lie." He gives me a look of concern. "What's the matter?"
"Are you doing okay?" I ask him. His eyes glance away.
"Am I okay? Yeah I'm okay, are you okay?" He asks casually.
"Peter, you can't lie." I cock my head to the side. "What's going on?"
"I'm fine, Y/N. Seriously." He stutters and plays with his fingers.
"Love, listen. My dad always would tell me signs when someone was lying. To be honest, I don't know why. But you are playing all of those out right now. Please. Let's talk about what's wrong and fix it." I sit up and cup his face.
"God, Y/N. I said nothing's wrong. Why won't you believe me?!" He spits as he stands up.
"P, we can't avoid this forever. We have both noticed it." I said, referring to bulimia.
"I'm not fucking starving myself or forcing myself to throw up or some shit!" He shouts. Woah, Peter never swears that much.
"I never said you were." I mutter in a calm tone.
"Jesus, Y/N. Give me a fucking break! It's obvious that that is what you're thinking!" He clenches his jaw I stand up and stand in front of him.
"We can't avoid it anymore, Peter. You aren't doing well. You need to get help, talk to someone." I whisper and keep my hands to myself.
"Talk to someone?!" He looks at me with rage and raises his hand. I wasn't ready for this next part. Not at all.
Punch.
I fall onto my bed from the force of his strength and Peter has immediate regret from hitting me. That is something I will never tolerate. An abusive relationship. I can feel blood begin falling from my nose and I shake my head. "Get out please." I request.
"Y/N I didn't mean-" Peter starts explaining himself for his actions but I cut him off.
"We can talk about it in the morning, please get out." I point at the door. "I love you, okay. I know I am all you have left, you won't lose me and I won't tell anyone either. But I just need a minute, please."
"Okay..." He nods his head and begins walking but stops and turns to me. "I'm so sorry, darling. I didn't mean it. I love you-"
"Peter, please leave." I beg him. He nods his head.
"I'll see you in the morning." He walks out and shuts my door. I don't even know what to do in this position. I don't cry, though I feel like I should. But there's a knock at my door.
"Peter, go to sleep." I say from the edge of my bed.
"It's me, Y/N." I hear Bucky. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah." I look at my hands.
"Did he just hit you?" Bucky asks as he enters the room.
"No." I lie for the protection of Peter.
"Don't lie." He argues.
"Don't eavesdrop." I glare at him.
"I heard yelling and then you telling him to leave, remember your guys' rooms are by the kitchen." He sits next to me on the edge of the bed.
"I think he has an eating disorder." I feel my eyes prick with tears. "I uh... brought it to his attention very subtly and in a more of a hinted way. He got mad, I understand why. But then he slapped me."
"Y/N, you have a bloody nose, go clean it up." He motions to my bathroom door. "I'll be outside, you got blankets?"
"Yeah, my Harry Styles one is under there." I point to under my nightstand. He nods and I get up and walk to my bathroom. I grab a towel from under my sink and get it wet and clean the blood.
Once I get it all cleaned up and tissues up my nose I walk to my balcony where Bucky is sitting. I lean against the cool rail. "Are you going to break up with him?" He asks.
"No." I reply bluntly. Bucky lets out a sigh.
"Why not?" He asks. I don't look at him, I just continue staring at the stars.
"He is my boyfriend. I love him." I mutter. Bucky scoffs.
"Boyfriends don't hit women." He spits. I turned to him.
"Yeah? Guys don't hit women? You are the one who murdered my grandma and my mom so I don't think you even get a say in that." I chuckle in an annoyed way.
"Y/N- That's not me, you know that. I just want what's best for you." Bucky cocks his head to the side.
"Well I am really happy where I am for the first time in a long time, so you don't need to worry. My love just lost his last person besides me and Ned so I understand his actions." I spoke.
"K, I'll see you later, but." He pauses while he is standing up. "If he hits you one more time, I will tell Pepper." He raises his eyebrows and then leaves, leaving me alone outside.
"Yeah..." I sigh and I look down to the ground. I walk back into my room and into my closet and I throw on warmer clothes then I grab two big blankets and I go back outside and lay in my hammock. Very therapeutic. I close my eyes and feel the cool breeze against me.
I can't believe he hit me... I'll figure it out later.
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I wake up to someone shaking me. I'm a bit cold but I don't give one fuck. "Y/N, get up. It's freezing out here." I hear Pepper. Shit I forgot I have school.
"Yeah, I forgot about school, but I can't go today... I'm sick." I lie through my teeth.
"Then why are you sleeping outside?" Pepper asks me. I roll onto my stomach.
"Please, not now, Pepper." I sigh, keeping my eyes closed.
"What happened? Why were you perfectly fine yesterday? Y/N you have a giant bruise on your face. Oh my god, are you alright?!" She mutters and cups my face.
"Nothing, I just got in an argument with Peter." I don't even realize that I just super outed Peter.
"He hit you?" She says with shock. "Oh my god."
"No he didn't hit me, I was grabbing something high up from my closet and it fell on my face." I lied.
"Oh my god, he hit you. Are you okay? I noticed him leaving this morning. He was angry. Should I kick him out?" She asks. I open my eyes. My entire face is super sore.
"Please just go, Pep. I'm fine. It was a mistake and he regretted it immediately, I just brought up something. Peter has some problems going on right now and I just wanted to help him." I explained. Pepper sighs and shakes her head.
"You can't let that slide. Before you know it, it will be normal when he hits you." She squats to be face to face with me.
"Pepper, he has an eating disorder and I brought it to his attention, he started getting a little frustrated and I understand why. It was one hit. I'm sure my dad has hit you before." I raise a hand in defense. She shakes her head and brushes my hair behind my ear.
"He could never. It would mentally destroy him. I'm going to let you make your own decision on this one but if I were you, I would lean towards breaking up with him. That's just my advice. You don't have to go to school today." She stands up and walks away. I'm left alone again.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Maybe I'll do some yoga to clear my mind. I stand up and I go into my closet. I changed into some dark green leggings and a black tank top. I grab my yoga mat and I go outside, I take down my hammock and I put it away and lay down my mat.
I hope this will clear my mind a bit and I will figure out how to talk to Peter.
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Once I finished my yoga, I got in the shower. My bruise is not that bad, it's just a little purple going from my cheek bone to the bridge of my nose.
After my shower I change into green straight jeans and a blue sweater with some designs on it. I slip into my black converse and I put on a few rings and I make sure my necklace is visible.
Once I am finished, I grab my keys and tote bag, I grab my book, All Your Perfects. Then I head out of my bedroom. Somehow as always Bucky is in the kitchen. "Damn that's a nasty bruise." He raises his eyebrows.
"Thanks..." I give him a thin lipped smile. I grab an apple. "See you later." I wave and I walk away.
Once I get into my car, I check my phone for the first time today. There are countless texts from Peter, saying 'I'm so sorry.' and 'I love you, please tell me if you are okay.' and others. I reply with, 'love, i'm okay. I just haven't been on my phone yet today. I slept over my alarm, that's why I'm not at school.'
I plug my phone into the aux cord and I listen to music as I drive to get coffee. I don't even know what to do or how I am supposed to approach Peter with this bruise.
Once I get to the coffee shop, I go inside but when I get in there, Peter is sitting in a chair as if he knew I was coming. His face goes into immediate sadness and shock when he sees me.
"I did that to you?" He rushes up to me and he cups my face.
I don't know why but I feel fear.
I'm not excited to see him.
I'm scared.
Shit.
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oh no:(
this chapter was really sad
anyways, right now i'm listening to lou preform walls at LTWT on a live!
thank you for reading lovely people!
<3, kelsey
word count: 2353