Daniel
I stared at the door that Max had just walked out of for just a moment before turning to Maeve. She hadn't looked back at me. Her shoulders slumped slightly, wavering as she was now fully crying over the events that transpired so far in this room. It broke my heart to see her upset. Telling Max was supposed to be the best day, our friend finally knowing what had happened between us. Max had wanted that for us forever. He spoke to me multiple times about how if I'd just man up I would be happier. He was right, but the heartache that came in the terms and conditions wasn't something I anticipated.
"It'll be ok, D..." I moved to walk forward and wrap my arms around her waist as I tried to pull her against my chest.
"No it won't Daniel." She turned, stepping away from my arms before I could fully wrap them around her.
"He's just stressed out from coming back and maybe we should have waited..." She scoffed, bringing her hands up to wipe the stray tears that had escaped her eyes.
"Yeah, because maybe this shouldn't be a thing. Maybe we are taking this too far." her eyes stared into mine, a deep frown settling on her face as I watched her glassy eyes waver.
"No," I quickly reached for her hands," Baby, that's not it at all. He just didn't expect it. I shouldn't have said anything about the wedding idea." I hung my head, suddenly realizing that my outburst had started an issue. Again.
"No, you shouldn't have. If he is acting like this and he's our closest friend, how will Toto or Christian or even Cyril act when they find out? Are we ruining our careers for this?" I shook my head immediately.
"No, absolutely not. Until they explicitly tell us that this is a problem, it's not. Plus, they can't do anything once we're married. It's a legally binding contract. We can't be forced apart after that." She shook her head.
"No, I don't think we should do it anymore. It's stupid and it really isn't that thought out. We were just looking for an excuse. A marriage certificate won't be looked at as a contract."
I opened my mouth to say something, but I stopped when Maeve looked like she could just fall apart right there. Instead, she finally let me wrap my arms around her as she buried her head in my chest.
"Ok, let's hold off on all these plans then and just be us. I'll still want to marry you if it's by December or by the time we're 40. I just don't want this to hurt us...." I tried to explain. She just shook her head against my chest.
"I think I should go back to my room...."She pulled back and wiped her eyes again as I stood stunned at her words.
"I think we should be together right now..." She shook her head again at my argument.
"No, Daniel. I'm serious in telling you that I need some time right now. I want to think about this myself before we talk about it together."
Every part of me wants to argue, to tell her that we should talk about it together. Seeing her with tears in her eyes told me that she was overwhelmed though. She needed a moment alone, the first she had asked for since we started dating in June. Then I realized just how much we depended on each other. At that moment, I needed her. She needed space.
With a single nod, tears coming to my own eyes, I walked her to the door.
"Maeve," I started before opening the door," Promise me that if anything happens... if you start shutting down..." She placed a hand on my cheek.
"I'll come to you if it gets that way, I just need a night to myself." She gave me a small smile before pulling her hand away.
I reached down by my backpack and handed her my team hoodie, not wanting her to walk back to her room in just her sleep shirt and shorts. She gracefully accepted the hoodie, sliding it on as I grabbed the plate with her dinner as well.
"Eat, please?" She accepted the plate before opening the door.
"I'll see you in the morning Daniel..."
Like that she was gone and I couldn't help but feel like I fucked up, again. Another unplanned outburst from me had ruined what would've been a good night otherwise. All I could do was fist my hands in my hair and lean against the wall by the door.
Forgetting my dinner, I eventually moved to the bed and sat there thinking to myself, trying to figure out a way to fix all of the damage I had done. Max would've been ecstatic to hear that we had finally admitted our feelings to each other. He didn't need to know about the wedding. He didn't even need to know about our reason for why we had decided to do this. I just had to say something to him though. Part of me wanted to believe that it was pride, for being able to say that I finally snagged the woman of my dreams, that made me tell him. Honestly, It was just an oversight on my part, being over zealous in what we would share with our friend without discussing it beforehand. I had overstepped. That was the end of it.
The morning came before I realized and we were going straight into press. No part of me wanted to skip over talking with both Max and Maeve, but the day progressed and none of us had even a moment to be near each other. Max was a hot commodity. His return to the track had sent all of the press into a frenzy and he was being pulled in a million different directions. Maeve was also a part of that.
With the actual driver of her car returning to the grid, there were a lot of questions surrounding her plans for next year. Quite a few people had grown suspicious as it was obvious that she wasn't worried about the return of the prodigal kid. Not on the outside at least, I knew better because we had discussed the issue at length. She gave the same answer when asked if Max returning threatened her spot on the grid. Simply saying that "this seat always belonged to Max and if I'm meant to be here next year, I'll be here." It was elegant, no hard feelings to be shown after spending the year working hard for the team. Yet, it expressed that she was willing and wanting to stay if the opportunity presented itself. Angela had done well on her Media training.
I was having a media issue of my own. My move to Renault had left an open seat. Gasly seemed to be confirmed for that seat. Pierre would do well if he could get over having to deal with Max being a bit of a hot head. It wasn't ever a guarantee that a rookie driver would do well when they were moved up, but the program prepared them well for instances like this. With Maeve still highly sought after, there were questions about whether or not Gasly was actually going to be confirmed for that seat. I spent all day dodging the idea of favorites, noting that all Red Bull Academy drivers were given equal opportunities. That line worked until someone rightfully pointed out that Maeve was not a Red Bull Academy Driver. It was technically true, it was what gave her the ability to leave. To go to Mercedes....
The choice was hers though as mine had been made. She was more than correct to state that she wanted me to make that decision on my own. Now I had to return the favor, hoping that she would also leave Red Bull to allow us to be together when the time was right. That also meant driving stopped for her early, something I never wanted to see happen if it didn't need to. She had talent, she was good at what she did, and she still had the time to accomplish a hell of a lot more than she already had.
"Daniel?" I blinked as I looked at Christian entering the meeting room that Blake, Charlotte, Michael, and I had been waiting in for our track briefing to start. We did one every single Thursday, a way for us to mentally prepare for the first practice overnight. Now, it was just the first opportunity to see Maeve all day.
"Sorry, good evening. Crew been good today?" I asked, making small talk as we waited for the trackside leads and Maeve's team to enter the room.
"Yeah, everything's been fine. I reckon it'll be quite the weekend. How about you? Ready for Monza?" I chuckled.
"Of course. It's one of my favorite tracks." Christian chuckled, him and his assistant taking a seat.
"Yes, we know. What about Maeve? Think she'll enjoy it?" I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, realizing that we hadn't even had a chance to talk about the track yet.
"It should be a fun one, sir. She's itching to be on a track this week and Monza should be perfect for her. Too bad we don't have the top speed." I chuckled, knowing the truth. He knew it too.
"Yes, of course," He stops, leaning back and crossing his arms," I just wanted to check in. I saw her leaving your room last night and she looked a bit upset."
That was the nail in my coffin. It was the sign that everything was coming crashing down without a chance to even fix it. I'm sure my face said it all when Christian simply nodded and sat forward, his arms now leaning on the table. I could feel Michael 's eyes burning into the side of my head as I stared at Christian.
"If something is going on-" I laughed, loudly and full of vibrancy. The sound is a true contrast to the way I was actually feeling inside at the moment. Despite the audacity of Christian's question not being what shocked me, I made sure for it to be the reason.
"Christian," I actually made myself start to tear up from how hard I was laughing, the actor of the year award deserved on my part," I don't know how many times we have to say nothing is happening before you believe it. If you must know, I said something really shitty to her last night about Max being back and it upset her. It'll be fixed tonight." Christian raised an eyebrow at me. Something about what I said wasn't believable. Despite everyone else in the room seeming to believe it, his demeanor was still highly suspicious of us.
"What did you say about Max's return?"
What did I say? I hadn't thought that far ahead to create a cover. That was when I looked at Michael, his eyes said nothing. He was trying harder than ever to not give anything away. That left me on my own to decide what kind of hole I wanted to dig for myself.
"I told her that since she was losing a seat for next year, she could always come work for me...." I bit my lip, realizing that I was digging myself into a hole here with both of them without meaning to.
"Well that doesn't seem that out of line..." Christina was sarcastic, his jaw was clenching and part of me wondered if it was because he didn't have the control over Maeve that he thought he did.
"It wasn't, I was just making a joke because she mentioned wanting to be more active at the track this year if she didn't get a drive. That's all it was." Before any more of the conversation could be had, the door opened and the remaining team members we had been waiting for, including Maeve stepped in.
She sat directly across from me, the monitor blocking her from my sight. I tried to forget that Christian had just been grilling me about what had happened last night. But I knew that Maeve needed to know. I had to tell her and I had to tell her soon that Christian had caught us. Not that it would matter, it was well known that we spent every moment together outside of work. She was my best friend after all. There was nothing weird or suspicious about it...right...right?
I barely participated during our intro meeting, both because I was distracted and because they didn't exactly ask for my opinion on things since announcing my departure. It made figuring out a solution to my predicament easier. The only solution was to beg her to spend the night with me so we could talk it out. We were both too headstrong to not concede sometimes. It meant having to be the bigger person and admit that I was wrong.
The real first step in that though was talking to Max. It was obvious that our seemingly rash decision had an effect on him. My brain could not figure out exactly what the issue was or what caused there to be an issue in the first place though. Instead, I had a ton of what ifs in my head that scared me more than anything. None of them were rational.
The "what if he liked her too" was one that hurt the most. While I knew there was no way it could possibly be true, it would explain his actions. As if dating me and 'getting it out of her system' was enough for him before he could shoot his shot. Max wasn't like that though. Never in the years that I had known him did I think he would be like that, he was too direct, too calculated.
The other what if that seemed the most plausible, was that he was afraid of being the third wheel. It was no secret that his last relationship had failed spectacularly once he started succeeding in the sport. Dalara was a nice girl, but she was never going to last through the fame. She wanted a quiet life, away from cameras and personal questions, that Max could never give her in his chosen career. None of us could give that to a significant other when we were in this position.
So that left me at a fork in the road. One where I wasn't sure how to approach the topic with my fellow driver. So I told the next best person once we were back at the hotel in the gym.
"Mate, it was a complete change in his personality. I don't even know what to say other than that. He hates both of us." I told Michael as he ran next to me on the treadmill.
Michael and I both preferred working outdoors, it reminded me of home. It was hard in certain places where people would swarm. Monza was definitely one of those. The historic track attracted some of the biggest fans in the world. While they were passionate, they didn't always have boundaries in mind.
"Max is quick to react, but that was not what I was expecting when you told me you told him. Maeve is upset too?" I sighed, giving him a small nod as I started at the distance on my machine. The story of what happened last night had eaten up a huge chunk of my run already.
"She's so upset that she left the room last night. Oh and Horner saw us as you know. I'm gonna have to tell her that if she doesn't know already..." I dug my palms into my eyes, seeing stars as I groaned at the idea of having to give my girlfriend bad news on top of our already precarious situation.
"She's not gonna take that well mate." My eyes moved to glare at my friend and trainer as I continued my run.
"I'm aware, which is why I'm dreading telling her and I want to talk to Max first." Michael didn't say anything. When I looked at him, he looked like he was thinking.
"Why are you looking at the wall like that? If you have anything to suggest, I'm all ears. I could use all the help I can get, mate." Michael stopped his machine, making me stop mine.
"I think you have to talk to Maeve first." I followed Michael's movements, grabbing my water bottle and towel as we walked towards the free weights area.
"Really? It feels like I should talk to Max first. Get him on the same page and accept the situation before I talk to Maeve. We're going to get married regardless." I took a long sip from my water and Michael still looked like he had more to add. His face held hints of the same disbelief that Max's held when I told him about our plan last night. I realized that Max might not be the only one that was against our plans.
"You think it's a bad idea too?" There was no point in sugar coating the issue at hand. If our friends weren't on board, I wanted to know why.
"Look," Michael sat down on one of the benches and wiped his face," I love both of you and you're a huge part of my life. I'm so happy that you were both ready and finally admitted your feelings for each other." I sat down on the bench opposite of him and took a deep breath.
"But?" I pushed him to continue.
"But you've barely been together a few months. What happens when next season starts or if something happens? You two don't know how you'll work together in those tougher times."
Michael said something similar to what Max had said. It felt like a stab in the back. Hearing that the few people that knew were against the idea felt traitorous. It wasn't what I had expected from all of our friends to do when they found out about us. I thought there would be celebrations, people practically screaming from balconies some version of 'finally!' as Maeve and I tried to make them shut up. Now it was the other way around, most of them trying to get us to calm down instead. Only we didn't need to calm down, they needed to see it our way. For our sake, they needed to be on board with this.
"We love each other Michael. We're doing this to make sure she doesn't have any issues at work. I don't know what I would do if I was the reason that Maeve couldn't work in F1 anymore. If I'm the reason she can't drive next year.... I'd never forgive myself." I hung my head, the disappointment for something I hadn't even done yet filling me.
"I understand the why, but I honestly do not think that either of you would see repercussions of being in a relationship together. At least, nothing that would cause you to have to move seats or quit. Either of you." I looked back up at Michael.
"It's the possibility alone that causes the problem. She didn't want to risk it. Hell she wanted to tell Christian right away the second we kissed. I convinced her not to and now she doesn't want to tell anyone period. The longer it goes on, the worse it's gonna be."
Michael didn't say anything. Instead his head rolled from shoulder to shoulder as he thought over the words I had shared with him. The situation wasn't easy to begin with. Emotions had complicated a long term friendship and now it was complicating our careers. What do you even say to someone that's going through that? Nothing. They have to work it out between them and their partner, I realized. Maeve and I would have to hash this out before we could move on, regardless if someone else was involved.
"I'm going to go talk to Maeve in the morning." Michael looked at me, eyebrows knit together as he processed my words. I answered the silent 'what?' for him.
"It's not fair of me to put you in the position I did. I have to work it out with Maeve and getting our friends involved is what caused problems in the first place." I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth after saying it.
Shutting Michael out was very new for me. He was my trainer first, but he was the closest thing to home I had on the road. He had been a friend before he was my trainer. Bringing him here has been important to keep me in a good frame of mind. Yet, I had lost the fact that he had been that friend first, just as Blake had been.
"I'm your mate too. If you need someone I'm here for you but I understand." He reached over and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Thanks. What else do we have for tonight?"
A/N: Car launch tomorrow! I'm gonna be in NYC this weekend and hoping to catch the launch live or see the car this year!
Also, anyone excited to see Daniel on The Late Show? I feel like it's going to be super entertaining.
As always, thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you like with a comment or a vote. <3