January 27th, 1977
-Regulus-
The sound of Regulus's polished oxfords hitting the stone floors echoed through the hallways as he stormed toward the dungeons. His mind was only set on one repetitive sentence that seems to consume him.
I'm going to murder Evan Rosier.
Evan Felix Rosier; an idiotic pureblood that up until this moment, Regulus considered to be his closest friend, that is besides Adelaide.
The very girl Evan was now engaged to.
How his confidant could keep such life-altering news from him was mind hazing.
How could he agree to this? How could he do this to her? To me?
Regulus suddenly found himself outside the common room, the large stone door staring back at him, almost mocking him as he clenched his jaw and spat out the password."Pure-blood."
The door opened and he descended the marble stairs, his shoes being the only thing to disrupt the silence. The common room was empty but Regulus took no notice, making a beeline for his dorm, the dorm he shared with a certain blond boy he was sure had probably been expecting him. Upon entering his room, Regulus's grey-blue eyes immediately found his friend sitting on his favorite crushed velvet armchair by the window, staring out at the Black Lake.
Evan turned at the sound of the door opening and looked at his friend, eye wide with fear, "Reg-"
The Slytherin's words died in his throat at the force of Regulus's fist colliding with his jaw. "You son-of-a-bitch."
"I understand you are mad but-"
Regulus was seething, his hand clutching Evan's collar. "You understand that I am mad, do you? No Rosier. I am furious. How dare you keep this from me? Do you realize what this means for her? How many people this affects?"
Evan audibly gulped, "I just found out, I had nothing to do with this, I swear. Reg, I would never do this to you on purpose, I know you love her. I- I couldn't do that to you. Please listen to me." The blonde's voice dripped with pain and sincerity, his green eyes dashing back and forth between Regulus's face and the fist that still held his shirt in a tight grip.
The Black heir released his dormmate and took a step back, trying to calm his rage in order to hear what the boy he had known since he was a small child had to say, "Fine, speak."
Evan released a shaky breath, "I just found out this morning, my father's owl arrived just minutes after you left with Lupin for your prefect duties. While yes, I had known I was to be engaged soon as I am sixteen now." Regulus nodded his head, remembering the night of celebratory drinks that resulted in a blackout over the winter holiday. "I had no idea it would be her, I would have never thought Tanetler-"
"Potter."
Evan looked at his friend in confusion, "Pardon?"
Regulus didn't falter, "She is going by Potter now."
The blonde nodded his head slightly, a weak smile at the notion, "Right sorry, I would have never thought Potter to even be an option seeing as I was under the impression she had been disowned..."
Regulus felt a bit of tension in his shoulders leave, "She had received a letter informing her of the disownment in our second year, her third, but I see now her parents never officialized it."
Evan nodded his head in understanding, "I swear to you Reg, I would never hurt you like this."
Regulus took a moment to take in the sight of his friend, searching his face for any sign of dishonesty but he found none. He knew Evan had no desire to marry, he had stated it for years. Always adamant that the idea of being tied to a pureblood woman of his father's picking would be the worse death sentence he could ever receive... that he would ever receive.
The black heir released a sigh filled with frustration and moved to sit back on his bed, "I believe you."
Evan exhaled with relief, "What now?"
"Now, I need a joint. I cannot think of a plan when I'm this tense."
After a lengthy period of a rather silent indulgence, Evan decided to speak.
"I thought you were going to murder me without even letting me speak. I wouldn't even blame you seeing as she's your-"
"She's not my anything other than a friend."
Evan glanced up from his spot on the floor that due to his foggy mind, felt more comfortable than his bed or chair, "What?"
The dark-haired boy released a choked laugh, "She is my brother's... my brother is hers. Yes, that feels like the correct way to put it."
Evan frowned, "I'm truly sorry mate, I know how much you adore her. She made the wrong choice."
She made the wrong choice.
Regulus couldn't help but think those words were worlds away from the truth. While the youngest Black had no doubts in his mind regarding the love he felt towards the Gryffindor girl, he couldn't help but think if he had only been looking at a small portion instead of the whole picture.
"No, I don't believe she did," He said almost silently, the corners of his mouth tilting up into a small smile.
Evan heard him loud and clear, "I don't think I understand?"
Images of Adelaide and Sirius flashed through the young boy's mind. He pictured the way Adelaide's amber eyes would light up upon seeing his brother. The way she would lean into his touch, not a drop of hesitation. How her soft smile that was saved solely for Sirius would scream 'I love you' in a million different ways. But most of all, he thought of how his brother, someone who had grown up believing pure love did not exist, at least not for him, reciprocate every single admiring glance and adoring grin. How Sirius would bask in her calming warmth, letting it surround and heal him. How his brother's mind could fill with water, threatening to drown him in the sorrows of the world but she'd be there to pull him back up, without fail.
No, Regulus Black knew that in every universe, in any reality, as long as there was an Adelaide there would be a Sirius to love her with everything in him.
And that is all he ever wanted her to have.
The more he thought about the love his brother had for the girl, Regulus himself believed he was in love with, the more he realized it was not the same. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved Adelaide but it was not in the soul connecting, end of the line, all-consuming way Sirius always has.
Regulus chose not to answer Evan's question, but presented one himself, "Do you believe there is more than one way to love someone?"
Evan seemed taken aback for a moment, collecting his thoughts before he replied, "Yes, I believe there are many ways one can feel or experience love."
Regulus nodded his head and let his back collide with his bedspread as he stared up at the ceiling, "Well, the way I love her is not the same as my brother."
The blonde watched him carefully, "Care to elaborate?"
"For Sirius, loving her is the same as breathing, It is natural, he cannot go a day without doing so and if he were to stop I fear he'd sub-come to the sorrows of the world and that would be his demise. She is like a piece of him and the moment he found her he was complete."
"And you?"
Regulus thought for a moment, a small smile gracing his lips, "For me, it is not as if she is my oxygen but rather someone that reminds me to breathe. She cares about me like no one ever has and I will never be able to repay her for showing me what being loved feels like. She compliments me but she does not complete me. What we have is a without a doubt platonic, which I mislabeled as romantic due to my lack of experience in being loved." Regulus couldn't help but let his mind wander, questioning if he had ever received love from his parents, would he have realized the reality of his feelings sooner? Would he have ever mistaken them in the first place? "I believe we were always meant to be what we are now and I wouldn't change it for the world."
Evan was silent, absorbing the words expressed, "Have you ever felt that kind of love? The kind where you feel as if you were incomplete before them? I think I may have but... well anyway, have you?"
A pair of brown eyes flashed through his mind but they weren't the soft amber color that belonged to Adelaide. No, they were a warm, rich color that seemed to simultaneously swallow him whole and make his heart soar. The color of milk chocolate.
Regulus released a shaky breath and closed his eyes, relishing in the way the joint warmed the pads of his fingers, "I'm not sure."
Evan exhaled, watching the slow stream of smoke twist into the air above him, "I promise, one day you will, though based on your reply I think you may have already."
hey, besties!
i am really happy with this chapter and it will be very important to the rest of the story <3
how are you doing? if you had to rate your week from one to ten, what would be the score?
have you been drinking enough water, getting proper sleep, and eating well? i hope so.
i've taken a short but much-needed mental health unplug which has caused me to put two of my stories on hold for the time being. i had come to the conclusion that i was putting too much pressure on myself and will be focusing on just this story and flower crowns for the broken, my remus fic, until further notice.
i also recently bought pit tickets to see 5 seconds of summer in a few months and am ecstatic.
i's also like to give a little recommendation to @kyleegreene 's poetry book Girl Online! i've found her words rather relatable and comforting in a way, so maybe you all will too.
i hope to see you all soon
xoxo
-sammy