CINDER
Rachel demanded that Kael, Echo, and I get in the backseat of her car, and Emerald climbed into the passenger seat. We had no idea where we were going, or what Rachel had in store for us, my I suddenly felt uneasy, my stomach churning and doing gymnastics. Rachel's face was stern as she adjusted her rearview mirror, then started the car and pulled out of the driveway.
We were only two minutes down the road when I found myself asking, "Aunt Rachel, where are you taking us?"
"Please don't ask questions," Rachel said. "There's a lot you need to know—deserve to know—and I'm going to make sure you find out the right way." She kept her eyes laser-focused on the road, not even meeting my eyes in the mirror.
I slouched down in the seat and looked at Kael, who was staring out the window. He had no idea what was happening either. My sister Echo was texting someone on her phone, completely avoiding whatever was happening right now. There was only so much weirdness a teenager like her could handle.
The drive didn't take too long, less than an hour. Finally, we pulled up to what I recognized as Rachel's family cabin. I'd been here a few times during my friendship with Emerald, but I still couldn't figure out why we were here now. What was it that Rachel wanted to do here? If she was trying to bring us here to keep us safe, she would have told us to pack.
No, this wasn't about protecting us. There was something inside. Something that Rachel needed us to know. My mind wandered to a million different places, but I couldn't be a hundred percent positive about anything.
Rachel nearly jumped out of the car and slammed the door behind her. She said, "Everyone get out and follow me." We all did as she commanded, walking behind her as she walked the steps up to the porch of the cabin. When we reached the door, she turned to look at us. There was a deep sadness in her eyes—and maybe regret? I couldn't be sure.
"Listen to me carefully," Rachel said. "There's something in here that's going to shock you. And might potentially anger you. But you have to know that we did this to keep you safe, to try and figure out who was behind the Fear Games killings. But we realized we were wrong to keep you in the dark."
"We?" I said, confused. Was she talking about herself and Isaiah? Or someone else?
The front door opened and a woman stepped out in pink pajamas, her hair a chaotic disaster. When our eyes met, I couldn't believe who I was looking at. My heart dropped all the way to the ground, like I was on a roller coaster. I could tell by my siblings' faces—and Emerald's too—that they were just as surprised.
The woman smiled sadly and said, "Hi, kids. It's me."
My mother wasn't dead. My mother wasn't dead. My mother wasn't dead. My mother wasn't dead! I had no idea if I wanted to cry, hug her, or beat her ass. Was I allowed to do all three?
"Mom...is it...really you?" Kael asked, tears streaming down his face already.
Mom was crying too as she nodded. "Yes, it's really me."
Kael rushed into her arms, holding her close. Echo followed quickly after, turning Kael's single hug into a group hug. Mom looked up at me, smiling through the tears. "Cinder?"
"You're alive," I said, knowing that my tone sounded more aggressive than it should have in a time like this. Or maybe this was exactly the right time. "You faked your own death?"
"We should head inside," Rachel said. "There's a lot that we need to discuss, and we don't want anyone spotting us out here." So we all walked inside the beautiful cabin and made our way over to the large leather couch. Mom, Kael, Echo, and Emerald sat on the couch. I stood far away, trying to make it clear just how pissed I was. Even though I was so happy to see my mother again, I couldn't get over the anger that was bubbling up inside me.
"There's a lot we need to discuss," Mom said. "A lot that I need to explain. Are you all willing to listen?"
Everyone said yes except for me. I glared at my mother, trying to keep my feelings under control.
Mom frowned at me and said, "Cinder, you need to hear this, too. Are you willing to?"
As much as I didn't want to, I was curious about what had been going on recently, why she felt the need to fake her death. So I grumbled, "Fine, I'll listen. But just so you know, I'm pissed as hell at you for doing this to us."
"That's totally fair," Mom said. "Now, Rachel, where should I start with everything?"
Rachel sat in one of the recliners and said, "How about you start with the fact that you murdered Jax, and that he might be Daisy's child."
Damn, this was going to be a long conversation.
KAEL
When Eden and Rachel finished telling us everything—including the fact that Jax killed our father and then Mom murdered him—we all sat in silence, overwhelmed by the amount of information that just got shared. Part of me wondered if maybe it would have been better if we were left in the dark.
Mom finally said, "Kids, are you all okay? I know this is a lot to take in. I just want to make sure you're alright."
"Alright?" Cinder exclaimed, obviously irritated at the question. "How do you expect us to be alright? Do you know what you put us through? How much pain we all felt thinking that you were truly gone?"
"Cinder, hold on a minute," I said. "We thought we lost Mom forever, but now she's sitting right here with us. Don't you think that you should be a little more grateful?"
"Grateful?" Cinder shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "What do you all want from me? Do you want us all to hug and cry and make up? You lied to us!" That last comment was clearly directed at Mom, but I couldn't help feel defensive of her.
"She did it to protect us," I said.
Cinder shook her head. "Lousy fucking excuse if you ask me."
"Cinder—!" Mom shouted as her daughter stormed out of the room, leaving a sense of emptiness throughout the space. I knew why Cinder was so mad. But there was no reason for her to be treating Mom that way. She didn't deserve it, especially after all she was doing to keep us safe, and all that she'd been through with losing Dad and Jax.
It was as if in that moment, the realization suddenly hit me that Dad was truly gone, too. I wanted to cry, but I had no tears left in me. What Jax did to this family was horrible, and I was glad that Mom killed his ass.
The fact that he was the child of Daisy, on the other hand...that was a whole mess we'd soon have to dissect.
Rachel asked us, "So, kids, what do you think? Is there anything that you want to share with us? Anything that might be helpful in figuring out who the other killers are?"
"Don't we believe it's Daisy?" Emerald asked.
"If this is really a resurrection of the Fear Games, then there's definitely more Players," Mom said. "There's more hands in this bowl than we realize."
"I have a thought," I said. For a moment I considered not saying anything until I was positive, but realized that it was best to get all theories out in the open. "You know my friend German?"
"Yes, they're nice," Mom said. "What about them?"
"Well, I think that they may be one of the killers," I said, and explained the whole situation with Brett, the fight, and finding German's phone. When I finished, I wondered if maybe I should have kept my thoughts a secret.
However, we all decided that there would be no more secrets anymore.
"Is that Brett kid still bothering you?" Mom asked. "I swear, if I was still technically alive, I'd call that school and—"
"Mom! Not the point at all," I said. "What do you think about the phone situation and what I saw?"
"I'll tell you this," Rachel said. "Whenever you think that you know who the killer is, you're usually wrong. There's always misdirects and red herrings. This sounds like it could be one."
"But if you do think that German is one of them, then I suggest you do more investigating," Mom said. "You just need to be super careful. I could never handle the thought of losing one of you kids."
"I'm not going anywhere, Mama," Echo said, leaning in to give a big hug.
"I know you're not, lovebug," Mom said. "I would never be the same if I lost one of you." She looked directly at me and said, "If you believe that German is at all dangerous, just be careful. Only meet with them in public places. Do not be alone with them. Got it?"
"I won't," I said. Last thing I wanted was to end up dead. Not only because the thought of death was terrifying, but I knew if Mom lost any of us, she would never, ever be the same.
EMERALD
The drive home was pretty awkward, mostly because Cinder still wasn't talking to anyone. So we just listened to the radio as we cruised down the road, and I stared out the window, thinking about everything we'd just learned. Eden's kids could not catch a break, could they? My mother wasn't an idiot, and I knew that she knew better than to pull off this whole elaborate plan. So why did she do it?
When we got home, Cinder stormed out of the car right away, and Kael and Echo quickly followed. Right as Mom opened her door to get out, I said, "Mom, can we talk for a moment?"
She looked a little surprised, her eyes wide. But she closed her door, turned off the car, and said, "Sure, honey. What did you want to talk about?"
"What do I want to talk about?" I asked with an annoyed tone. "You seriously don't realize that what you and Eden did was awful? You can't see that?"
Mom sighed. "Of course I know what we did was wrong. But Eden was talking the lead for once, and I just followed her."
"Normally you're the leader," I said. "What made you want to follow her plan instead?"
"Because for the first time in my life, I had no damn clue what to do," Mom said, shooting me a nasty look. Her face quickly dropped into sadness. "Look, Emerald, I understand that you and the other kids are going to be angry for a while. But just know all of this was to keep you safe from harm."
"Yeah, you keep saying that," I replied. "But why would you let Calix in on the plan and not me? Did you not think that I could keep a secret?"
Mom reached out and put her hand on my arm, gently. "Em, let me ask you this: Do you really think you would have been able to keep it a secret from Cinder and her siblings if you knew the truth?"
I opened my mouth to respond and say, Of course I could, but clamped it shut because I knew that was a bold-faced lie. There was no way I could have let my friends be in pain if I knew the truth. But Calix had no issues doing that to me. Was he even a good brother at all?
"Don't be mad at your brother, either," Mom said, as if she was reading my mind. "He was just doing what I asked of him. He wanted to keep you all safe, too."
"What made you decide to tell us that Eden was alive?"
Mom sighed. "I just realized that there was no reason to allow all of your suffering—yours and the kids'—to continue on. I needed to do what should have been done right from the beginning, which was let you all know what was going on. And besides, I have a strong feeling that it won't be long before the killers realize that we have been playing them this whole time."
"Do you think Eden's safe?" I asked.
"Safe is a relative term these days," Mom said. "All I know is that things are going to come to a head soon, and we need to be prepared for whatever might happen in the fallout."
"Like someone else dying." That thought didn't make me feel any better about anything.
"Yes, like someone else dying," Mom said. "I feel it deep in my core. One of us isn't going to make it out of this war alive. Maybe even more. I just hope to God it's not one of you kids."
"We'll be safe. I swear it," I said. I knew that my death would completely wreck her forever. There was no way she would ever be able to survive a catastrophe like that.
Mom leaned in and gave me a hug, saying in my ear, "Thank you, Em. We'll figure this out together. As a family."
If only we knew what was coming. Maybe we could have prevented it. Maybe we could have done something differently. All I knew in that moment was that I wanted to stay alive for my mother—but little did I know that one of us was going to get caught in the crossfire.
And the end result would be deadly.
***
Can you believe there's only EIGHT episodes left of Fear Games, and then it'll be over FOR GOOD? The #FearGamesFinale is almost here, and someone is going to die. The real question is, who?
If you loved this episode, please give it a vote! And don't forget to comment all your thoughts and theories! I love hearing them.
See you all soon!