Saints of Evil | Trepidation...

By KaranSeraph

131 26 0

Dark Science-Fantasy Paranormal Romance --- He was born on a battlefield; she was born in a lab. Trepidation... More

PROLOGUE
BOOK ONE - One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
BOOK TWO - Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Five

Twenty-Four

2 1 0
By KaranSeraph

There was this cuckoo bird pecking at her head, peck peck peck.  Valerie felt its tiny beak would break through her skull at her temple.  She tried to swat it away, but the bird said only moved to the other side of her head and laughed, "Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo!"  Valerie tried to yell, to tell the bird to leave, but it said, "It's just a dream."

     Valerie realized she was dreaming, and realizing that she gained consciousness.  She raised a hand to her head.  It ached.  She searched her surroundings.  It was dark.  A child cried.  It seemed Brittany Leigh was there.  "Am I in Karachi?"

     "I don't know," she said, it really was Brittany Leigh.  "I was taken from my family's house.  We were all...unconscious when they brought us here.  I was first, and then they brought the boy, Malik and the baby.  No one has even opened this chamber since they brought you." 

     Valerie sat up.  "Eva, where is she?"

     Brittany Leigh leaned close.  "I think there is something more wrong with Eva," she whispered.

     Valerie managed to sit straight and turn around.  Her eyes were adjusting to the dark.  She could see the boy, maybe fifteen, maybe Arabian, vaguely Semitic looking anyway.  He was cradling a small girl in his arms, trying to shush her.  Eva was a ball of black blood-stained fabric in the corner, trembling and crying.  "She saw them cut-off Friedrich's head," Valerie whispered.  She crawled across the floor to her daughter. 

     Eva couldn't stop, Valerie had a good idea what was going on in her head.  This was an hysterical fit...brought on by shock or some such thing.  Valerie attempted to put her arms about Eva, but she swatted Valerie's arms away as if they were annoying cuckoo birds. 

     "Is there any food or water here?" Valerie asked.

     The boy was looking at her.  "You really are Lady Val!" He said, "I thought you looked familiar when I first saw you lift your head."  He was speaking some form of English to her, though he sounded almost Israeli.  Professor Sitchtin had been from Israel. 

     "Yes, I am Lady Valerie of Goth," Valerie told the boy, Malik, "Who are you?"

     "Malik," he said simply, "Malik Josef Jewel."

     "You are one of the Jewels?"

     "Yes, Steven and Helen had Nancy, Nancy and Cameron had Steven, Steven and Amanda had Amber, Amber and Trey had Malik, Malik and Lueticia had Terrence, Terrence and Susan had Camille, Camille and Josef had Malik, that's me."

     "Do all Jewels know their lines of descent?" Valerie asked. 

     "I don't know," Malik said.  "Do you know why we are here?"

     Valerie held a hand to her head, it still hurt.  She spoke as she thought, "Well, you are a Jewel, I am the mother of a Jewel, have been the lover of a Jewel, Eva is my daughter.  Brittany Leigh's family is close with the Jewels..."

     Brittany Leigh made an uncertain hum.  "I knew as they came for me that David had been attacked and burned.  They tried to take my brothers and sisters but it seemed they thought me most important.  And they tried to take Oliver, and he's not so closely related to any Jewels.  The Haven keepers were gone, they'd left to help Sadi and her family.  I think they've done it to get at Sadi and Trip."

     "I've never met Sadian and Trepidation," Malik said, "Neither has Elizabeth."

     "But you are a Jewel, like Sadian and her mother Mara, and the baby, Valor," Valerie said, "I was very close friends with Trip and Mara."

     "It doesn't matter!" Eva screamed, "It doesn't matter why we're here!  We're just here, and we don't know where that is!  We can't get out!  And Friedrich is still dead!"

     Elizabeth started up screaming again. 

     "Well, let's figure out where we are then," Valerie suggested.  She stood up and studied the room in more detail.  All the walls were stone.  No door showed.  Brittany Leigh said that she'd seen them bring the others in.  There was a section of wall that slid away, but she thought it could only be opened from without.  Valerie agreed.  She could see the disturbance in the old dust where so many feet had shuffled in.  But the stones that made all the walls were enormous, gapless and mortarless.  They could not move them. 

     Eva had taken to rocking back and  Brittany Leigh looked lost.  "So, what were you doing when they took you?" Valerie asked Malik, as she traced the nearly invisible joint where two stones met. 

     "My mother and I were at the Eden site.  My namesake was part of the team that discovered it, the place that Angels lived in New Testament times with their Darkling.  My mother is part of the restoration team, it's a project that's been going on for years.  I've grown up on her digs.  Mostly Mother and I lay hands on old stone fragments and artifacts and try to see what they were, or who held them, or where they belong.  We're psychometrics."

     "Eva was walking home from a late night bonfire with her boyfriend.  They took his head.  We all ran out into the yard, but somehow they managed to take her and me.  I think I was hit on the head."

     "Do you think they'll ransom us?" Malik asked.

     "Not for money," Valerie sighed.  She walked to another wall like the one it was adjacent to.  "They could have at least given us some food.  They'd be fools not to keep us alive.  They can gain nothing from killing us all...it's too tempting an idea to use us in bargaining for something." 

     "Maybe we'll be rescued."

     "Maybe, Brit," Valerie said.  "I just wish I knew where we were being held.  If I knew that perhaps if trip or Tris were looking for me they might be able to pick that up somehow."

     "I can project my thoughts a bit," Malik said, "I tried to call to my mother but I couldn't hear her."

     "Malik, you said you could lay your hands on old stone fragments and see things?"

     "In theory.  I'm still learning really."

     "Well, none of us have learned at all.  These walls, they're old stones, not a typical prison.  Maybe you could find something useful."

     Malik handed Elizabeth to Brittany Leigh right away.  He stood up and joined Valerie near the wall opposite the door.  "I can try, if I can find out anything it may help us."

     "Yes, better than doing nothing at all," Valerie whispered.

†  †  †

The sun was setting as they sat in Old Steven's house, casting a red glow from the hallway that mixed with the lamplight within the living room.  Steven was in his wing chair, before a fire.  The seasons had turned things cold again.  It was comforting, especially with such a group being gathered in the room with sure dire purpose. 

     Shade still lurked about, not really showing whether he was in concentration or not.  He walked about the room, most often standing close to Steven's chair.  And Angel had come, leaving Aje to other work, and Quick and Pops to travel to Karachi to meet David, who waited with Miko and Laila who had only just themselves returned.  Amadeo, as handsome as Pops, and also her Grandfather after a fashion, had arrived some time ago, and sat close to Mother on a couch.  Father was lurking elsewhere, trying to concentrate, half paying attention to the conference call on the monitor which showed Caroline, who had Stephan and Emilia, with her, Mitchell and his young daughter Blade in San Francisco, Camille on an old portable low res set from Syria, and Charles from his family villa in Ankara. Sadian was half watching the screen herself, sitting on the floor with Thierry, listening. 

     Orchid was still there, rather playing annoying waitress because he hadn't a talent for seeking out souls with his mind and he thought everyone else might be hungry or thirsty after getting up from a forced nap.  Murphy had just come back, he'd just materialized around the time Athen came from upstairs, having climbed in a window rather than knock on the front door. Monique sat in one chair under the window nursing Étain, while Astoric lay in another chair feeding Valor from a bottle.  

     There were a number of spirits hovering about.  Daniel was faintly visible to Sadian.  And Elise had followed him, not really knowing that she had been alive or died but knowing that she had a mother who was flesh.  Perhaps Elise thought her existence the norm, Daniel was just like her.  It was rather amusing to see the childish spirit and so many witches try to teach this other childish spirit what she was.  When she managed to make herself visible she did a tolerable job of appearing to be a teenaged girl with golden skin, bright green eyes, and russet hair.  She looked just a bit like Sadian, though not so tall or thin. Cat was with them, slinking about, dangerously near being solid.  But, Sadian knew he would keep his promises to Thierry.  Morpheus had loosed his three Djinn in the house and called them into the shapes of various supermodels or actresses from old pictures.  Murphy's lizard was explaining to the three ghosts who marveled at the Djinn that the girls had never been flesh and only appeared in these forms because Morpheus wished it and he was their master.  Murphy's new crow was perched on the back of Old Steven's chair doing a really tacky impression of a raven.

     They listened.  Sadian could clearly see with eyes closed the souls in the room, could sense all the spirits of various types, Steven, the witches, the Vampyres, the Sidhe, the ghosts, Djinn, and souls in animal form.  She could sense with some ease a coldness from the abandoned house down the driveway, a vague presence of spirits within New York City, several lesser talents of the Jewel family.  And then, pressing, Sadian could sense Stephan, and Caroline and at moments Emilia.  Every so often she had a glimmer of Mitchell or Tris. 

     Tris and Teena Marie were not on a phone, but Mother claimed to be in contact with them.  Sadian heard them only as relayed by Mother.  "I'm just not strong enough at listening," Sadian cried.

     "You do not need to be," Shade said calmly, "If you can hear Mitchell and Tris just barely and get nothing from Malik then we know he is probably not in your range of hearing."

     "Is anyone hearing him?" Sadian asked.

     Shade nodded.  He spoke in a low voice so as not to disturb the others.  "Thierry is rather expert at listening through relay.  I can see this.  He can reach Stephan with ease, and Stephan's link with Tris is strong.  Tris can hear Charles who can hear Camille, who gives to those who listen an accurate image of her son, a sense of what it is like to know his soul.  And then Thierry searches all souls he can reach for a match.  He has not yet found the path, but I'm sure he will."

     "I was trying to reach every person on my own," Sadian whispered.

     "I think you may have heard Tris and Mitchell through relay without knowing it.  Think of the links between us all as a web."

     "You know it sounds very much like hacking when you describe it," Sadian said. 

     Shade smiled.  "Quick does both quite well.  I think when she looks coldest and most still she is most active within.  Your father is not a witch, but he does not need to be.  Perhaps if you could calm him he could find a path through all the various psychic links to Malik.  Thierry, Mara, and Amadeo have already gotten as far as Camille.  He could take from them what he needs to search for."

     Sadian felt herself smile.  Father was pacing up and down the hall again.  Sadian stood up, straightened her dress and walked toward him.  He was so sad, but also angry.  He blamed himself for all the pain his friends suffered.  And Sadian knew that was just why it had been done, to make him feel guilty enough to surrender.

     "Father?" 

     He slowed down, that was positive.  "Shade was explaining to me a way of seeking out souls, and it sounded very much like hacking, easier than hacking, like following the shortest amount of links from one point to another to arrive at a desired location.  Maybe you would be good at that.  You always seem so intuitive when it's the net you're searching."

     Father nodded his head and sort of waved the idea away.  He did a turn and walked away from Sadian.

     "Please, just try..."  Sadian listened to Thierry, took from his thoughts everything she found pertaining to Malik.  "Here, take it from me, lots of nice information, all about Malik.  You can rescue him and Valerie and the others..."

     He took the bait, she knew he did.  Father usually could be made to react when he felt he was dared. 

     "Sifting through it?"

     Father nodded.  Sadian almost heard gears churning in his head.  He sat down on the third step.  He seemed to be speaking to himself, ran his fingers back through his hair, "What do we know?"  Sadian sat down right beside him.  She could feel him thinking as she looked at him.  Sadian slipped her right hand into his left and listened in.  They were in each other's heads.

     Let's go about this another way: Where would you hide a small group of prisoners if you knew there would be witches and Vampyres looking for them?  State. Region. Atmosphere. Psychic environment and geographic location?  Area of little psychic traffic.

     Or area of psychic interference, Sadian said to Father.

     Yes, Sadi, Try area of little psychic traffic first, rule it out if possible.  Geographic location?

     Try Australia.

     Trying Australia. 

     Sadian almost couldn't keep up.  In no time Father had gotten as far as Karachi.  Soon he found links that took him to Malaysia, and then to the Northern Territory.  A face, and then every face it knew, and then every face they knew, and so on.  And then Father hit a dead end.

     Leave that alone a while.  Trying Central America...

     Sadian followed as Father tried various paths, from Angel to Theo, from Mother to Mitchell to and Angel in Los Angeles.  Athen.

     You see what I have the power to arrange?  I want ultimate surrender.  The Shi off of the face of the Earth or I will hurt more of those you care about.  I'll even hurt complete innocents who've never met you!  You'll never see the five I hold again.

     Who is that? Sadian screamed with her mind.

     Father stood up, held his hands to his head.  That voice was still speaking to him.  "Father!" Sadian called. 

     He seemed to shake the voice.  Sadian watched as he stormed to the living room.  "Made Bathsheba a Vampyre, Athenè?" Father shouted.

     "Trip!" Thierry called.  "I'll send the spirits after her...you get what you can from her while she's distracted."

     He was upset but Father tried to concentrate again.  Sadian felt the spirits go from the house.  She tried again to follow.  She had Athen...She had Bathsheba, found images throw up meant to confuse her...a tangle of thorns.  But then someone created the image of Prince Phillip on a white horse hacking the thorns away with sword.  Thank You, Stephan!   A Shaman in Mexico, and then she had him. 

     An image of Valerie and old stones.  No, not Mayan...Toltec.  Built by Toltecs, I've touched things made by them before.  Tikal.  Old ruins of the Toltecs at Tikal!  Mother?

     We are all here, Sadian said, we'll get you out if we can.

     Tris.  Val, can you hear me?  We're on our way.  Teena Marie and the interior of an airplane.

     I bet I can get there first!

     Bathsheba, you bitch, leave the Humans out of this! Touch them and the masses will be calling for you to be wiped off the face of the Earth.

     As if I want to live like this, Athen?

     Murph!  Morpheus, Help us!

     Tris!  Sadian called to him.  Murphy's gone to them.  Be careful.

†  †  †

Malik heard Sadian calling out as he heard the strange sound closer to his left ear that his right, a sound like the pages of a book being flipped through very fast, almost like that.  And then the Angel was there.  Malik knew him, his name was Morpheus, he'd have known even if Sadian and Tris had not called this out to him.  He wasn't a full Angel, just pretty close.  But he spent an awful lot of time on Earth, doing things like playing bass guitar for various bands that always became rather famous, producing TV shows, and working as an archaeological consultant. 

     Morpheus looked them all over, big black wings sort of fluttering behind his back.  "Is everyone OK?"

     "As good as we can be locked up in her," Malik said.

     "Eva's still pretty non-responsive, I'm worried that it really harmed her to see them cut Friedrich's head off," Valerie said quietly.  Her daughter Eva had been looking bad, she was still curled in a ball crying.  Malik thought this Friedrich had been her boyfriend. 

     "Has anyone come in here besides you?"

     "Not yet," Brittany Leigh said and she seemed very familiar with Morpheus as well.  But she had said she was from Karachi. 

     "All right, I'm going to try taking a couple of you out, I fly a lot more accurately when I don't have to carry much.  I suppose I should take Eva and Elizabeth first...they seem completely helpless right now."

     "I don't mind, but..." Valerie began.  She was going to suggest Morpheus take Malik.

     "No, it's OK.  Take them, I'm sure you or Tris will get here in time to help the rest of us out."

     Morpheus made a quick nod.  He went to Brittany Leigh first and took Betty into one arm then he bent down to Eva and covered her with a wing.  In an instant they were gone, with that sound.

     A few minutes passed.  Malik guessed Morpheus had taken Eva and Betty farther than he thought or that when he got where he was going there were a lot of people who had questions for him.  Then the door opened, stone grinding against stone.  There was a figure there, Malik was blinded by the brighter light without.  It was a woman, he thought.

     Something touched his neck.  And then Malik went rigid as he felt two cold hands take hold of his neck.  "Morpheus got the other two...if anyone comes for you I'll snap the boy's head off." 

     Malik could see Valerie then, she was somewhere to his right pleading and trying to look strong and cool.  "Take me.  He's just a boy. You don't want to kill him."

     She laughed, the thing that had him.  Malik thought she was a Vampyre, he'd met Vampyres before, they felt cold like this when they had not fed well enough, and they had a sound to their voices that was similar to all other Vampyres, like this voice had.  "You think your weak power of suggestion will work on me?  I was strong before...this."   There was something wrong with her. 

     Malik raised his hand to touch her arm, pretended to want to escape.  He did not think she could read his mind well, or Valerie's.  Malik had seen that Valerie could block.  And when he touched her he was certain of it: she was young and had not fed at all.  "Why don't you just bite me then?"

     She shook him without really harming him at all.  Malik hoped this worked.  He didn't really want to bleed to death. 

     "Because I don't..."  She was trailing off again.  She was feeling hunger pains.  Malik looked for the two women out of the corner of his eyes.  Valerie was standing absolutely still, seeming to watch this creature, Bathsheba she was named.  Brittany Leigh was shielded by Valerie's body but seemed to be whispering something.  Malik hoped Bathsheba was distracted enough that she didn't hear.

     Valerie lifted her colored braids and long flame red hair from one shoulder and brushed it behind her back.  She took a step forward and stood with head tilted just so that her throat seemed more bare.  "You don't drink blood?"

     Something went on that Malik couldn't know, couldn't see.  But he thought maybe Bathsheba had tried to put Valerie in thrall.  It obviously hadn't worked.  Valerie laughed slightly, sort of swung her hair and made an elaborate flourish of one hand and flared sleeve.  Then Malik caught a thought from her, Tris, hurry, we're trying to get ourselves out of this but I'm afraid what this hungry Vampyre might do.  She didn't really know how to project her thoughts, though Valerie seemed to be reasonably aware of the powers that were hers.  She only hoped Tris was trying to read her.  Malik knew of Tris from the family, Stephan Jewel had cheated on his wife with an actual Angel and Tris had inherited from his mother the ability to know what all people desired and the uncontrollable power to make all people find him desirable.

     Malik wanted to get out of this bad situation without having to watch one of these women sacrifice themselves for him. 

     "Stop," Bathsheba said.

     "Stop what?" Valerie asked, sounding almost innocent as she arched her back and took a small step toward the Vampyre.  "Just a taste of warm pulsing blood and the pain would stop, you wouldn't feel so cold on such a warm night, you could gain the strength to keep us all in your control."

     Bathsheba screamed and threw Malik from her.  In a split second Valerie's hand was on his arm.  She swung him behind her.  Bathsheba was backed against the wall opposite them now, her fangs looked so long, her mouth hung open.  She looked starving and horrible.  How could Lady Val look so calm tempting that creature?

     Brittany Leigh put a hand on Malik's arm then and drew him back against the wall.  She whispered to him urgently, "Don't look at her, don't move, try to be calm.  They smell fear.  If you become nervous and you sweat and your heart races it makes them hungry.  I don't think she's a Vampyre who cares about the laws and the Order the Union established."

     Malik tried to calm himself.  Valerie still stood between them and Bathsheba.  "You think she's done all this to upset Trepidation?  Why would a Vampyre do that?"

     "She's new," Brittany Leigh said.  "I think one of them forced this on her for some reason.  See how the hunger makes her feel almost sick?  It's the battling with her conscience that keeps her distracted."

     Valerie took another step toward Bathsheba.  "No," Malik breathed and felt Brittany Leigh squeeze his arm.  All in a blur of motion Bathsheba moved and Valerie screamed. 

      Brittany Leigh moved from Malik's side and called to the Vampyre, "Hey, you bhuta!  Get off of her!"

      Malik rushed forward and rammed his shoulder into Bathsheba's body, knocking her down. 

      "Hey, you algul!  You spawn of a ragged-toothed Nefil!"  Brittany Leigh called.  Bathsheba was looking toward Brittany Leigh then.  The girl had planned it, but she fell still and silent suddenly.   Bathsheba had managed to dazzle her. 

      "You shitsucking bitch!" Malik called rather envying Brittany Leigh's knowledge of derogatory terms for Vampyre at the moment.  Bathsheba was crawling toward Brittany Leigh. 

      "Malik," Valerie called weakly, she had been cut in the moment that Bathsheba had been on her and held pressure on her neck while reaching under the skirt of her fancy red dress.  She was trying to give him something, he heard a snap from under Valerie's clothing.  And then Malik saw it, a sort of Celtic cross within a circle that she had been wearing from a belly chain. 

      Malik didn't think crosses effected Vampyres except in movies, but he picked it up quickly and ran to dangle it before Bathsheba. 

      It made her stop.  She didn't look afraid exactly, didn't smoke and burn.  She just looked at the cross within the circle as if to ask herself why she stopped.  In that instant, that they wondered Morpheus appeared at Bathsheba's back and put her in a headlock.  And as he wrestled her to the floor, Tris and Teena Marie found their way in. 

      Malik sank to the floor he was so relieved and gazed at the cross on the palm of his hand.  He wondered why it did work.  "Are you all right?" Teena Marie asked Malik as she was shaking Brittany Leigh awake. 

      "I think so."

      Tris was bent over Valerie, he seemed to have the power to heal with his touch.  Valerie had both her arms about him then and Tris was kissing her.  "Sorry for your trouble," Morpheus said.  He was sitting against the wall, feeding Bathsheba from his wrist.  "We were afraid if we timed things badly she would have just enough time to kill one of you if she saw us."

      "I thought crosses didn't work on Vampyres."

      "Besides all things Christian the horizontally symmetrical cross within a circle is the symbol for the world the Angels originally came from.  Vampyres are Nephillim spawn, and Nephillim share their bodies with Angelic souls.  It's in their blood to think twice about killing when they see that symbol.  It doesn't really hurt them or stop them long however.  The young ones don't really know why the symbol makes them question."

      "I was just guessing we could confuse her into thinking crosses might harm her because she seemed a religious nut," Valerie said.

      "Oh," said Morpheus.

      Malik laughed.

      †  †  †

Every other word out of his mouth was sorry.  He'd apologized to everyone, even people whose pain was completely unrelated to his actions.  Mara had seen Trip angry before.  He was often getting frustrated and angry.  It was different now.  Mara found herself feeling frustrated and angry trying to convince Trepidation things weren't as dark as he kept telling her they were. 

     Yes, two people had died.  But Trip had not killed them.  He'd only once murdered, and Mara had forgiven him that.  He was blaming himself for everything.  Everything was his fault, some sick obsessive compulsive sent religious and political zealots out thinking they were doing the world a favor by killing, injuring and abducting anyone who Trip might have cared for and Trip is apologizing for it all. 

     He stood hugging Valerie to him, not letting her go even when she asked to be let go.  "I'm fine now," she said, "Stop apologizing, Geez, I love you.  You can't blame yourself for what other people do.  Nobody could come up with a threat that would make me want you out of my life."

     But Trip wasn't logical at all anymore.  How he'd managed to locate Valerie and the others Mara didn't know.  She had thought him in a dangerous state of mind then, but now he was worse.  He started talking about all the threats that could have been made but weren't.  "What if they had asked you to use your influence to harm me or imprison me and if you didn't they would kill Eva?" He asked Valerie.

     Valerie shook her head.  "They didn't.  I do my best to protect Eva, that's all I can do.  If she is ever harmed, I will morn, I will feel awful, but I could never blame you.  I couldn't treat you badly."

     "Trip," Mara called, "I know you're hurting, and angry, but you need to stop blaming yourself.  Every person is responsible for their own actions.  There was nothing you could have done..."

     He cut her off, shouted, "I could have fucking been born normal!"  and then he stomped out of the room like a child.

     Mara wanted to cry.  She blinked quickly and looked to Valerie and the others who were gathered in Steven's house.  "Go after him," Valerie said. 

     Mara frowned.   She knew Trip had gone outside. 

     "He wants to be alone," Tris offered, "But it's probably better for him you're with him."

     Mara left the room.  She passed others in the hall, a collection of tall thin pale creatures.  She grabbed her leather jacket and a scarf from the hall closet then went out the front door.  It was snowing again, covering Trips footprints lightly.  But he'd stopped angrily toward the abandoned Dangerous mansion and his tracks were clear. 

     Trip was already inside the dilapidated structure when Mara caught up with him.  Some of the walls and floors had already rotted yet there were some items that had never been moved from the house or had at one time been stashed there after the house was abandoned so that one might find a couch against a large hole in a wall or a coffin in the basement. 

     Trip was lying in it.  Curled slightly on his side with uppermost knee, forearm and one eye peering from the yellowing satin so that he almost seemed a still from an old movie: the vampire coming from the coffin as filmed in reverse and played backward.  "You should leave me alone, Mara."

     "You don't mean it." 

     "I only say it because I know you never will.  I need you too much.  You really should be with someone else."

     "Trip, do you really not realize how hurtful it is for you to say that to me?  Do you really not see how it hurts Valerie and all the others when they see you apologizing for everything?"

     He didn't see.  Everything he saw was darker than life.  Life wasn't terrific now, but it wasn't so bad either.  It was life.  "Trip, please believe me, we understand that there are people out there that make things very hard for you.  It's hard for me too.  I don't like to constantly wonder when the next attack will be or who will treat me or my family with suspicion.  But that's life.  It's unfair that we have to worry over these things because others are full of hatred, but life's not fair."

     "I'm sick of it all being so unfair.  I can't take it any more."

     "Trip," Mara pleaded.  She went to the coffin he lay in and reached to touch him.  Trip shrugged her hand off of him. 

     "I know you are trying to help, but you can't."

     Mara felt pain.  She felt as though there were a lump in her throat when she looked at Trepidation.  "I want to help you.  It hurts me to see you like this."

     "Mara, if I knew how to fix all this I would.  But I don't know.  I think that I'm sick of hiding away and I want to stand up for myself...but then people get hurt.  And then sometimes I think that I should just hide because there is no way I'll ever fit in.  But either way people are hurt.  Either they are attacked for standing with me or they are hurt that I can't be with them anymore."

     "What would make you feel better?"

     "Living in a world where I wasn't the very Saint of Evil."         


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