***
"What? What is wrong with you? Why can't you just accept that I don't love you?" Harry yelled. My scared eyes filled with tears. I was hugging my knees to my chest while sitting on the floor. His posture was towering over me now.
Just as I wanted to shout right back at him, he continued.
"You don't even love me. You're just so selfish. I can't believe I've spent all these years trying to keep up with you" he looked so unnerving now. Never have I been so terrified of someone once so close to me before. My bones froze with fear as he kept burning with the flames of fury.
"You are the worst that's ever happened to me. I pity you. I can't believe I've ever fancied you!"
My heart received damage so harsh, that no other experience could compare.
"I hate you" he yelled. "I hate you more than I have ever loved you"
My soul collapsed.
***
And then I woke up.
My head raised quickly, realising it was just a dream. Two sister tears got to escape my awaken eyes.
It was only a dream.
Harry didn't honestly hate me, or did he?
Of course, he didn't. I could never believe otherwise. He was my twin flame. How could he bear to detest me so bad? Even if I had ever crossed him terribly, I truly believe he wouldn't hate me. The connection we had was too strong. I know he felt it too.
I kept telling myself that the nightmare which just occurred was not even close to reality, hoping it will make me cool down. It didn't fully work. I panicked a bit.
I was breathing heavily. My fists clenched with frustration. I sat up on the bed, looking around.
It was already morning. I could watch as the newborn sun's rays try to sneak into the room - our room.
My eyes shifted to the side. My favourite blonde was lying beside me. His face looked so soft, the strand of his hair covering him a bit. As I was studying him, I found some peace rooting back in my body.
Only for a moment.
Only until,
Until I haven't noticed the scar beneath his eye, again. A scar that seemed to have healed a little more since yesterday, yet my heart ached as much.
My whole life flashed before me. I experienced uncontrollable recalls from my and Draco's story. From my and Harry's. I felt as if I was going through the post-battle situation all over again, the pain was so sharp and intense.
I remembered every single detail.
And they say that your depression fights the worst demons at night.
Well, somehow, even though the sun has just risen in the azure sky, I couldn't help but allow the woe to consume me. The picture of my wounded boy, the memory of my previous nightmare, and all the past, yet recent trauma collided at once.
I was a wreck, a pathetic one.
Though, of my heavy soul, I moved closer to him as lightly as I possibly could. I wanted to feel the balance of my existence, again. He was the only one to allow it.
My hands squeezed on his shoulders, no longer caring if he wakes up. My head pressed onto his strong chest, truly believing, that as long as we were sharing an embrace, no force in this universe could take him away from me, split our bodies apart.
Draco's POV
I got woken up by her head pressing harder against my chest and her hands entwining around me.
I could feel my t-shirt getting wet from her. My heart stopped beating for a second, the worry in it burning.
"Maya? Hey, are you crying?" I asked the moment my senses were alive enough. I sat up and grabbed her face with my hands. God, her eyes looked so poorly now. As if swollen.
"It's okay, I just-" she began speaking but then bit her lip instead and pressed her head to my chest again.
"Bad dream?" I questioned her, feeling as my heart aches deeply. Waking up to the picture of her upset was everything I tried to avoid.
"Yea, a terrible nightmare.."
"I'm here with you, always, okay?" I tried to comfort her as best as I could, yet I was never taught how to do so. The stress only rose in me, since I had no idea whether my words were enough.
"Okay." She whispered with such a tired tone. My arms embraced her tightly, merely wishing she can just forget about anything happening in her head.
"Focus on me, alright?" I whispered while stroking her head. My fingers ran through her hair, as I held her close. "The bad thoughts will pass, I promise"
"I'm glad that at least the nightmare from when you were gone didn't show," she explained under her breath. My eyes closed, my brows furrowed, realising that just a few days ago everyone thought I was dead. And unfortunately, for some it was suitable. How sick.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that," I spoke, my tone almost muted. My thumb caressed her cheek with no rush. I used my fingers to wipe her almost dried-out tears away and took my time to comfort her.
We both then fell into silence, my arms wouldn't dare to loosen our hug. She shifted back to sleep a moment later. Before I had done so too, I kissed her forehead softly.
A few hours later.
Maya's POV
I had woken up hugged to him tightly. With firmness, pure honesty in my voice, I can say that I own great hope to experience that for the rest of my life.
I had already taken a shower and prepared myself for the day. Draco stayed in bed. As I assumed, he must have been very tired still. I let him of course, I had my own issues to take care of, anyway.
I was walking to Harry's room now. In my mind, I was assured that the guilt won't stop torturing me until I don't make up with him.
My figure was standing right in front of the door to his room. I took a moment of hesitance, but then I simply knocked.
"Busy!" Harry yelled. I only knocked again, feeling as the confusion grows in me. What was he so busy with at 10 am?
"Come on! Open the door, Harry. It's me" I shouted through the wood.
A moment of silence and the handle of the door moved. I could finally see him.
But then the shock filled my core.
Harry stood with me eye to eye. His shirt was not fully buttoned which was quite unusual for him. He was also missing his belt, which he never refused to wear.
That shouldn't concern me too much. There could be plenty of explanations. He was just relaxing in his room, minding his business...
Except that my gut told me that he was minding more than just his one.
His sweaty appearance, red, burning cheeks, messy hair.
Oh, where were his glasses?
I had no doubt now.
He wasn't alone.
"Oh, you're busy?" I broke the awkward silence with an even more awkward question.
"Quite, that's exactly what I just said." He responded with the tiniest smirk though, I noticed he was nervous.
"Oh, I know what's going on," I whispered to him and he gave me a weird look with his face completely covered with bright blush now. "You're having a girl over!"
"Um, Maya- are you five?" he began but then a strong female voice cut into our conversation.
"Not just any girl" she spoke. "Hi, I'm Romilda Vane. We've been in the same house for quite a while though I don't think you recognise me," she laughed a little.
"Oh no, I do recognise you" I froze with bewilderment. To be honest, I barely did. She wasn't precisely a social person, was she? Rather of an introvert.
In response, she only gave me a soft smile, as we shook hands.
"So, what is so important that my boyfriend needs to know at 10 am?" She asked with a smirk on her face.
"You're right, it's nothing, it can surely wait." I smiled awkwardly.
"Very well" she sighed and disappeared inside Harry's room. I was about to turn on my heel and leave when my best friend stopped me.
"If you really need to talk, go ahead" He grabbed my arm.
"I do, how about we meet later today in the library?" I asked with my eyes full of hope. "I don't want to disturb your fun, you deserve it"
"Okay, I'll be there." He nodded.
"2 pm, don't be late loser" I nudged him slightly and he chuckled.
I then entered the Gryffindor Common Room. Ron and Hermione were there. Her head was casually hanging on his shoulder, as she stared at the fierce flames from the fireplace. He was reading her a book, smiling constantly.
My heart warmed up at such a sight. Was that what a healthy relationship looked like?
"Hey, guys" I spoke calmly, watching as his eyes stick to my figure and her head raised a bit to look at me as well.
"Maya!" Hermione exclaimed the moment she realised it was me her eyes happened to lay on. Her head abandoned Ron's shoulder for good, as now she rushed to hug me.
"I have missed you so much, my girl"
I buried myself in our embrace, my hands were hugging her tight on the waist. I have missed her terribly as well, the care she gave me, the love. The everyday lecture about how I should hurry up for classes and spend more time reading and revising for my exams. My lovely Granger.
"Oh Mione, you have no idea how much the Slytherins could use a one like you," I joked with a soft tone. We loosened our embrace just so I can kiss her on the cheek gently. "And someone as creative as you Ron," I added.
"My brilliant ideas are reserved for Gryffindor only, sorry!" He got up and walked up to us. His hand led towards me. I shook it, with a smirk on my pale face.
"You really moved there, that's insane!" Granger pointed out the obvious. Suddenly, the idea of her lecturing me wasn't so bad. I longed to hear as she speaks in frustration, making me realise I will never compare to her when it comes to wisdom.
"How do you even manage among them?" Ron drawled with honest surprise. I snorted with laughter at his words. Did they truly believe it was so bad?
"Are you safe? Are you sure you don't need anything, because if I can help with-" she spoke without hesitation, as if the pace of her tone had a diametrical significance.
"Yes, I'm safe, It's majorly not that bad" I hurried with a response. My wicked smile turned out to be contagious. We all exchanged such an expression.
The whole noon I've spent hanging out with them. I played chess with Ron, as Hermione gave us her essential remarks. Then we went on a walk around our school, falling into steps together while admiring the magnificence of Hogwarts alleys.
The opulent gardens with so many varieties of flowers in them, you can't count. Coral-pink peonies reflecting ideally the grace of our hearts. Roses so intensively red, the blood in our veins fears. Hyacinths and daffodils revealing the tremendous contrast of colours. Gold and lapis blue have never looked better collided.
My eyes wandered around, my ears pleased by the birds singing their usual song. My friends were by my side, embracing me with attentiveness. Bewitching memories from my childhood drifted back immediately. There was only a single piece missing.
Harry, my Harry.
The whole day I could not stop pondering our soon conversation. My eyes uncontrollably ran to the clock every five minutes, checking how much time was there left for me to prepare.
My lungs were so tired of my heavy breaths. My core was exhausted from bearing all the stress.
The strangeness of how worried I was, the fear of each possible outcome of our afternoon chat, would probably continue bothering me if it wasn't for the hands of the clock creating an acute angle between twelve and two.
Enthusiasm and anxiety collided under my skin at once. I said a silent farewell to Ronald and Hermione the moment I decided to leave them.
Corridors, corridors, corridors.
Each time I pass them, my thoughts are in a different place. Never anymore do I simply stand there, I always rush. Today I was rushing as well. There was no such thing as peace or stability in my life. An awful lie it would have been if I claimed that deep in my soul, I wasn't longing for any.
And then my being appeared at the entrance of our Hogwarts library.
Ah, the smell of fresh books.
My nostrils were sinking with it, I allowed them to. My heartbeat slowed down, only for a moment. A short one, indeed.
Until I saw him,
Harry James Potter.
Early, as he always liked to be.
With the punctuality, he was quite known for, it would be rather strange if he wasn't on time. I felt some type of relief, yet there was also a drop of unsure blood in my veins.
My heart was pounding again.
"Harry! You made it!" I voiced with merry in my tone, yet I remembered to be quiet enough to respect the library's rules.
"Of course I did" He responded the moment our eyes met.
I couldn't help but wonder, at that moment, whether was it because he was now taken, that the orbs he owned seemed deeper than usual. As if they were to ensorcell me. As if I was to lose myself in them entirely, drowning in his gaze.
"So-" He began speaking, likely realising that the awkwardness was starting to overwhelm us. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Listen, I am sorry. I am very sorry. I don't want you to see me as someone completely emotionless, cold. There is nothing I want more now than your forgiveness" I set my tone slow. The softness of it was doubtlessly audible.
"What? I don't see you like that at all..." He murmured in response. I took a few seconds to figure out my next sentence. While doing so, I bit the inside of my cheek.
"I feel like we don't say that enough, I don't- Harry, I love you." I lifted my chin while releasing such words. He stared at me, pure surprise escaping his eyes. "I love you, I have since we were children"
I said that so proudly. The courage was back in my blood, my eyes filled with fierce, as the green in them intensified.
"I- well Maya-" he faltered as he spoke. "I love you as well..."
He uttered it in a way as if he was unsure whether it still felt right? My heart didn't get the chance to become light. I gritted my teeth with confusion at the perplexing atmosphere in the air.
"You will always be my brother, you know that?" I said to break the silence. Observing as the nerves drift away from his eyes, calmed me. Perhaps the awkwardness was brought into our conversation before since I forgot to mention exactly what type of love I had for him. "I love Hermione, Ron, I love him... But you are my only family, you will forever be."
"I'm sorry I referred to you as lifeless, I must have been out of my wits, forgive me." His voice cracked as he spoke. My heart ached a little at such a sound.
"Only if you promise to do the same." I smiled slightly, he did the same. His nod of agreement completed me. I felt chuffed, glad to know we were going to be okay.
"I only wish you'd come home" He let his desire see the light of the day.
"We'll see what the future brings, but for now..." I stopped, doubting whether this conversation might bring any more fuels. My core hoped the opposite, truly. "I will stay there. I will. I hope you can bear with that?"
"If that's what your heart's set on" He nodded, yet I could tell he wasn't pleased. My mind searched desperately for a topic change, hoping it would release the atmosphere fully.
"Thank you" I showed my appreciation for his kind words. I opened my arms next, illustrating to him that I was longing for us to hug.
We had shared an embrace so vehement, that I wanted to be buried in such.
"Tell me about her," I whispered, as we were still tight in our hug. The moment my words hit his ears, he loosened the grasp of his hand on my back.
"There's not much to say..." Harry shied away. I gave him an annoyed look. It was his second girlfriend, surely there must have been something thrilling he wanted to share.
"Oh shut up and tell me now," I nudged him delicately. He frowned, but the corners of his mouth remained raised. "or I'll die for curiosity." I threatened him.
"Okay, fine!" He exclaimed, a bit too loudly. We were still in the library. Both of us had realised that it would have been probably best if we just left there. "Walk with me?" He asked with the friendliest tone he owns.
I suddenly realised this was the moment I have been yearning for - for once, we weren't fighting.
Harry directed his arm at me, inviting me to join him. Indeed, I accepted.
We left the bibliotheca quickly. There wasn't much silence occurring. My muscles relaxed. Only my heart beat a little faster. Faster at the thought of him and Romilda.
Somehow, I never felt this when he was with Ginny...
"So, I was actually thinking of asking her to move to my room with me," He said nervously as if I was his mother and he needed my allowance, permission.
"Wow, so you guys are really serious," I said with excitement, but I truly feel nothingness in my soul.
I am the most selfish creature this Earth has ever birthed.
Harry's POV.
She sighed heavily, making my bones shudder. This was such a hard topic. And she seemed jealous...?
I didn't love Romilda one bit.
I don't think I ever will.
But I did find comprehension by her side, understatement. I did feel loved. Like never before. There was nothing... Almost nothing... That could make me resign her fondness.
Nonetheless, I was not returning that feeling.
How fucking selfish I am.
That didn't matter, not now at least. Firstly, I had to explain to Maya how we met, how I treated her, how she treated me, and what I liked Romilda for.
After the battle, Maya spent a lot of her time in her room. Doors shut, not much contact with her. My heart endured a twinge each time I remembered. Whereas, there was a lot on my plate, tons of responsibilities.
I found myself consumed by the work, to the point where I would forget about any other being around me. Even her.
Suddenly there were so many funerals to organise, I would rather be the one that gets buried.
And there was this one chilly May evening, as the sun was going down, I was sitting alone in the Great Hall, watching with watery eyes the damage made. A female approached me, a beautiful one.
Her dark curls of hair instantly reminded me of death. Strange? Perhaps. But there's been so much of such around lately, my teenage body got used to this term, it somewhat felt like... home?
There were also her deep, coal-black eyes. I saw my reflection in them, as the intensity of her gaze began consuming me.
I remembered as if it was yesterday, how the corners of her mouth lifted with delight, her complexion seemed lighter than usual, supposedly because of the sunrays embracing her face. The ones that got to sneak into the Great Hall through the magnificent stained glass on each and every wall.
My eyes had also memorised the white, long-sleeved shirt she was wearing. I noticed each wrinkle of it, and for some reason, it only made me gain more interest in her persona.
I can't exactly recall how, but we started taking. A casual chat quickly turned into an intensive conversation. We talked about the whole planet, the stars, the heavens, and the skies. She spoke a lot about spirits, about her belief in such. I listened. My attention fully focused on her words.
Her voice brought me back my hope, my inner peace. The little boy in me yelled, I wanted to plant tulips with her...
Yet, my heart remembered well the only person who had the right seeds.
The unreachable soul.
So I decided to settle for my newly met friend. Eventually, I grew to like her. Anytime I would look at her, my eyes would paint her as the most graceful black crow, yet I was merely a white pigeon.
A white pigeon that has only one partner for life, once found, forever loyal.
In my soul, I believed strongly, that me and Maya Victoria Flower had been sharing the same type of feather, suitable for one, another.
But she, my twin pigeon, turned too quickly into a vulture.
Such specie also has their partner for life.
But how could a pigeon be with a vulture? Only destruction could it bring...
So my, only mine once, vulture settled for her own kind. Draco Lucius Malfoy, part of her, I could not be.
Nevertheless, I could not observe such features in her. Characteristics that would prove she is one of them, exhaustively.
However, he surely matched the behaviour of his specie. He had rooted his venom thorns deep inside our cores. He had welcomed venison into our lives. He had preyed on me, only me, taking away her, just her.
I will never bear him, nor forgive him.
Just like Romilda won't, when she finds out, I never truly tended for my heart to beat for her.
---
Both of them as selfish,
egotistical, inconsiderate,
That you may wonder
Who is the one at fault?
Who is the one to blame?
I'll tell you only,
That the further story,
Adds more to their guilt,
Thus, the true question
Worth the asks is,
'will their heavy hearts ever,
ever in this life ease up?'
the answer is so banal,
yet my voice always cracks
as I speak about the consequences
Awaiting them both,
For the actions, they have taken,
Allowing the universe
To make justice done.
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊ 3.9k ❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
Hi! Missed you all here<3
Q: DO YOU LIKE MAYA AND HARRY TOGETHER? opinions on their relationship?
How was this chapter? Do you enjoy reading different povs?
Thank you for choosing my book, still. I love you all, truly. The next part should be posted soon, there is a lot about to happen.
Mwah:*