"Jungkook! Let me cook." I yell at him, standing against the kitchen counter, as he wraps his arms around my waist standing at the back, and rests his head on my shoulder. "Jungkook?"
But all he is doing is humming one of his songs with his eyes closed.
"Who are you cooking for?" he asks, finally coming to life.
"What do you mean? You won't have breakfast?"
"No," he says. "My food is right here."
"Where?" I look around to see if he has taken something out of the refrigerator.
"You," his sudden indication made me confused. "I'll eat you, chomp chomp chomp."
His lips touched the side of my neck while trying to eat me up, making me ticklish. He laughed out and spun me around, while I was kneading the dough. My hands were covered in the dry dough so I kept my hands past his shoulders, while he grips both sides of my waist.
"I'll die hungry today, I think," I say, gazing into his beautiful eyes.
"I won't let you don't worry." He says it and gives me a light peck on my lips, again and then again and then again.
"Give me a kiss every day, it will make my day even better," he says, standing straight now.
"Umm, only if you will go and wear a shirt or you'll catch a cold."
"Alright," he releases me from his grip and walks towards the hallway. "But, you weren't ready to wear it last night. What's with you now?"
He never turns back but walks.
"Anyways, I had no boyfriend," I scream, but he has already disappeared out of my sight.
"I know!" his distant voice suddenly made me smile.
He did that on purpose.
I returned to my dough bowl, but everything was moving in my sight. I open my eyes wide to concentrate, but the swirls are coming. I try to breathe in, but my trachea is constricted again, avoiding any air to pass on either side. Black spots cover my vision and I struggle to breathe in, filling my lungs to the maximum, but they refuse to do so. I tremble back, with a blank vision, my hands blindly rushing in my pockets to find the inhaler I always put there, but there's nothing. The realization hit me that I forgot to put one last night. As I keep trembling, my back hits the kitchen counter, making me fall to the ground. But Jungkook's hands grip me and hold me uptight.
"Hana? What..happened?"
"Get me...." My mouth cannot let the words go out so I move my fingers for him, indicating my inhaler, but he doesn't understand.
"Inhaler....room." I gathered all my body's remaining energy to spit out these two words. Jungkook hears and leaves instantly, making me lie firmly on the ground. I am almost unconscious when he inserts the inhaler into my mouth. I pick up my lifeless hands and give them three pushes. The misty, cold air does a miracle in a second, making me breathe deeply. The sudden relief gave me hope.
You are not going to die.
"Hana?" Jungkook's voice is trembling. I nodded to assure him, while my body gained consciousness. I twitch my eyes twice and finally open them to find myself in Jungkook's lap, his eyes staring at me. "I am okay."
I motion myself to get up, but he stands right up, carries me in his arms, and rests me on the sofa, my head on its arm. He sat on the ground, holding my hand.
"Hana?" His voice is near to crying. He kisses my forehead and gets back to his position. "Are you okay, now?"
"I am alright." I sit down on the sofa, tapping the side for Jungkook to come. He instantly sits next to me and I rest my head on his shoulder. "It happens. I am all good now."
"It happens? Are you kidding me?"
"No, but this always helps," I point towards the inhaler sitting on the table.
"This is not right. You almost fainted. What if I wasn't here?" his voice is bothered, and a bit angry too.
"You're here now." I look up at him, holding his arm.
"Yes, I am here, but-"
"You will always be there, right?" I cut him off.
He sighs and lets go of his anger, gripping my face and kissing my forehead again. "Always, my love." His warm kiss makes me numb again and I fall right on his chest, smiling intently.
"This is a promise, Jungkook."
"This is a promise, Hana."
******************
"Are you sure you are okay?" Jungkook asks me as I sit in the car, fastening my seatbelt.
"I am okay, my bunny," I poke on his nose, lightly making him smile.
"Who's your doctor?" he asks, turning the steering wheel.
"You remember Dong Hyun? Friend of our fathers?"
"Oh, I do. He's still here in Korea?"
"Yes, he never moved anywhere."
"Right." Jungkook goes silent, but talks again. "Accompany me on your next visit to him."
"Why? You want to meet him?" I ask, looking up at him.
"No. I want to ask him about you. I know you won't tell me everything," he exclaims with his eyes fixed on the windscreen.
I just look back at the busy road around me.
"You didn't have any problem when you left Korea. How did you get asthma?" he asks, finally breaking the ice.
"It happened two months after I moved to America. Though it was a minor thing back then, my stress and anxiety made it worse over the years."
I can notice his eyes looking at me, but I continue. "When I told dad I wanted to come here, his first concern was my health, even for me too. Dad has become too sensitive with the passing time. And deep down, I also knew how hard it is going to be. I had no one here and that made me afraid of being alone."
He grips my hand and places it on his thigh.
"When this happens that I lose my breath, I say my last death wish because I have no hopes of coming back alive. Honestly, I never wanted to come back even, but the thought of dad being alone makes me so sad. He would die if anything happened to me now."
I look up at Jungkook who is calmly listening to me without intruding.
"And now it is you. You make me want to come back to life and live it with you. Now that I have found you, I won't lose you." My eyes are almost teary looking at him. He smiles back and kisses the back of my hand for a long second.
"I won't let you go ever. If my presence makes you lively, I'll make sure not to spend another second away from your sight."
I smile at him and he focuses on the road, looking at the windscreen again.
"Will you tell your dad that you've found me?" he asks.
"No."
"Will you never?"
"Of course, not. I want him to see you once he comes here. You would have some doubts to clear too."
His head stays still and his lips are pursed, and then he nods lightly, assuring that he still has some doubts.
Jungkook accelerates the car, finally reaching his apartment building. It is just a building, but right now I am nerve-wrecked thinking about the five boys waiting for us.
What would have Jin say to them?