Harry could barely move when he woke up the next morning and he was sure the day couldn't get worse until he opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a glaring Hermione Granger.
"Hey, Herms."
"Don't you try to act innocent, Harry Potter," Hermione growled. "And don't try to distract me by calling me 'Herms.' You know I hate that."
"Sorry."
"What were you thinking?" Hermione demanded. "Or were you thinking, do you know how dangerous it is to use so much magic in so little time?"
"Didn't think I was using that much," Harry said honestly. "It all just sort of caught up to me at the end after I stopped."
Hermione looked at him with wide worried eyes. "What are you going to do about the first task?"
"I'll figure something out," Harry replied easily. He started to get up.
"No!" Hermione barked. "You are not allowed to get out of bed today."
"You want me to skip class?" Harry asked incredulously.
"Luna, Hannah, Susan, and myself will be keeping you company and missing a day or two of class won't hurt you," Hermione said firmly.
"Not Daphne or Tracy?"
"I'm not happy with them at the moment and I've forbidden them to visit you without supervision," Hermione said with a raised chin.
"They listened?"
"I am acting as your Vicereine and Grand Chamberlain, Harry," Hermione said imperiously. "Of course they listened." Hermione's voice softened, "Feel better, okay, Harry?"
"Alright, Hermione," he agreed. "What's a Vicereine?"
"It's the feminine form of the word Viceroy," Hermione replied absently. She pulled a piece of parchment out of her pocket. "Here's the schedule I've worked out. I'm first, followed by Luna, Susan, Hannah, and then me again. Is that okay with you, Harry?" She hopped onto his bed. "We could all stay all day if you like."
"Stay if you want, go to class if you want," Harry said reasonably, not bothering to ask what the word Viceroy meant. "Whatever makes you happy."
IIIIIIIIII
Cedric frowned in concentration as he considered the information he'd been given. He hadn't been sure of it at first, but three different sources reporting the same thing could not be ignored. He was going to have to have a talk with young Harry Potter and if he was lucky, he might not need the Galleons he'd get
from winning the Triwizard after all.
IIIIIIIIII
Hermione did her best to paste McGonagall's frown number five on her face, the one she gave students who cast the bedwetting hex on their dorm mates, and glared down at the two Slytherin girls.
"I'm very unhappy with the two of you," she pronounced.
"Why aren't you angry at Harry too?" Tracy asked.
"Yeah," Daphne agreed. The girl code said that Granger should be ignoring their little indiscretions in favor of blaming everything on Harry.
"Why would I be angry at Harry?" Hermione asked with honest confusion. "Might as well be angry at a cock for crowing. Harry will do anything for a friend."
Her eyes narrowed and she turned to glare at Daphne and Tracy. "That's not to say that I'm not more then a little annoyed at the two conniving girls that took advantage of that friendship and still working hard to think of a way to express that displeasure."
"I've been going over the equations and I think you underestimated his power level," Daphne said softly. "By a lot, he should have been fine even with all the
extra casting."
"Why is he so tired then?" Hermione shot back.
"It was the statues that pushed him over," Daphne explained quickly. "And even then it would have been fine if he'd only made two."
"Harry didn't think it was fair to only make fifty foot basalt statues of me and Daph," Tracy explained with a wince.
"Fifty foot tall basalt statues?" Hermione's voice was frigid.
"It was supposed to be a joke," Daphne tried to defend herself. "We never thought he'd actually do it."
"Luna," Hermione called out.
"Yes, Hermione?" Luna asked eagerly.
"Remind me to add this to the list of reasons of why I'm annoyed at Tracy and Daphne," Hermione said.
"Alright, Hermione," Luna agreed cheerfully.
"Oh, and to add it to the list of sweet but exasperating things Harry has done for all of us," she added with long suffering smile. Luna and the others giggled at
that.
IIIIIIIIII
Harry stiffly walked into the tent to wait for the first task and painfully stretched his wand arm. Didn't look like he was recovered enough to carry out his original plan, just meant he was going to have to improvise. Damn his luck
"Harry, a word please." Cedric waved Harry over to his part of the tent.
"What is it?" Harry asked. His expression was guarded,
"Just wanted to confirm that you don't expect me to become a eunuch before joining your island," Cedric whispered.
"No," Harry said quickly. "Who started that rumor?"
"Then I'd like to join and I don't know," Cedric replied. "Also, Cho would like to have a word with you when you have a spare moment."
"As would I," Fleur interjected softly. "Forgive my intrusion, 'arrie Potter."
"Not at all," Harry sighed. When had his life become so complicated. "Hermione's in charge of my schedule, tell her that I said she should set up a meeting."
"Thanks, Harry," Cedric said gratefully.
"Yes, thank you 'arrie Potter," Fleur agreed. She gave him a critical once over, the boy was attractive in a waifish sort of way and she supposed she could
endure it if the rumors were true for Gabrielle's sake.
"No problem," Harry replied. He sat down and managed to get a few minutes of sleep before they awoke him to take his turn on the field.
Harry approached the dragon carefully trying to figure out how he was going to get the golden egg from the dragon when he was still pretty low on magic,
having raised a whole lot of magma just the day before.
The dragon froze when it sighted him and he could swear she was studying his face. Yep her eyes just slipped up to his forehead.
The welsh green ran over to her nest and carefully rolled the golden egg out of it, taking it aside and sitting with the fake egg between her paws.
How the hell was he suppose to get it now?!
Was she making eyes at him?
Harry sighed knowing he was a sucker, but the effect of puppy dog eyes from a dragon just couldn't be underestimated. Almost against his will he walked up
to the dragon.
The welsh green leaned down and carefully blew a small bit of flame on the ground, shaping whatever she was doing with her claws carefully.
Harry waited for the smoke to blow away before examining it. Was that? Yep it was a small sculpture of an island with its own tiny volcano.
"For the golden egg?" he asked already knowing the answer.
The dragon's tailed wagged happily almost like a puppy.
"Fine, I know Hagrid wants to come because he wants to care for dragons and that basically means dragons will be there, might as well be cute ones," Harry said as he looked into the enormous green eyes that almost matched his own, except for the hopeful look.
The dragon actually purred as she rolled the golden egg towards him.
Without so much as a glance at the Judges table, Harry left the field intent on going to his bed for some well deserved rest.
IIIIIIIIII
Hermione looked over the group of girls with a critical eye. Represented were students from all four of Hogwart's houses.
"I thought it was just going to be Cho?" she asked finally.
"The others insisted on joining when they heard about my request and I saw no reason to turn them down," Cho explained.
"What do you guys want then?" Hermione cocked her head as she waited for an answer.
"All of us are the children of diplomats," Cho said with a wave at her fellows. "We would like a chance to speak with Harry about developing ties with our
nations."
"I'll set it up." Hermione checked Harry's schedule. "Was there anything else you guys wanted to speak with Harry about?"
"We'll probably need space to put our Embassies," Padma said thoughtfully. "No rush on that though."
Hermione sighed. "I guess I'll go modify the plans again then."
IIIIIIIIII
Harry woke up to the smiling faces of Daphne and Tracy.
"Whatever it is, I'm not doing it," Harry groaned. "Hermione's still angry with me for the last time."
"Then for the sake of her blood pressure, we'd better wait before we get you to do the next thing," Tracy giggled.
"Wouldn't do to have the Vicereine get an ulcer," Daphne agreed.
"We wanted to let you know that we're sorry you tired yourself for our sakes," Tracy said softly.
"And that the statues were supposed to be a joke," Daphne added. "You dummy."
"Oh."
The three of them stared at each other for a few moments, unsure enough of their relationship to be worried about accidentally giving offense.
"Your Weasley wants to have a meeting," Tracy said suddenly. "And his handsome older brother is waiting downstairs."
"Which one?" Harry asked.
"The one that came with the Dragons."
"Thanks." Harry yawned. "Could you girls step outside? I gotta change."
"Do we have to?" Tracy asked.
"Hermione said she didn't want you to be left alone," Daphne purred.
"I think she wouldn't want you to stay either," Harry laughed. "Tell Charlie that I'll be down in a bit."
"Okay, Harry," Tracy agreed.
Harry threw on a school robe, used a couple hygiene charms, and went down to see what he could see.
"Hey, Charlie," Harry greeted the Dragon Handler.
"How ya doing, Harry," Charlie said with a grin. "Great performance earlier."
"Thanks. What did you want to talk about?" Harry asked.
"Rumor going around that you're raising up an island," Charlie began. "If it's not true then I'd like to encourage you to think about doing it. If it is true then on behalf of every dragon handler I know, we'd like a bit of space for a sanctuary. Uh . . . if it isn't too much trouble that is."
Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and silently counted to ten. It wasn't like he wasn't planning to have Dragons, not after the deal he'd made in the first task anyway. "Send Hermione any space and habitat requirements."
"Thanks, Harry," Charlie said with a pleased grin. "I knew we could count on you."
"I'll try to get your part raised as soon as I can," Harry promised.
"No hurry, by the end of the week would be fine," Charlie said with a wave.
"Might have to make it two," Harry said with a frown. "Not sure my reserves will be back to normal in a week."
"Joking, just joking. It'll take months to plan the move, take your time."
IIIIIIIIII
Hannah wanted to scream after getting the latest snippet of information the idiots behind the contest had doled out.
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Susan?" the girl asked suddenly.
"I think so, Hannah," Susan agreed. "But where are we gonna get rubber pants our size this time of night?"
"Whatever you're pondering, it's not what I'm pondering and it's the middle of the day," Hannah giggled. "I was wondering how we were going to deal with the dance."
"Tell Hermione, have her make a schedule, and go as a group to lend credence to all the harem rumors," Susan replied. "Keeping up the illusion that our dear Headmaster keeps us around to sate his understandable lust for young maidens and we get to laugh at all the idiots."
"Deputy Headmistress Bones, you're a genius," Hannah said in delight.
"Why thank you, Deputy Headmistress Abbott, one likes to be appreciated. I will point out that there is just one flaw in my plan."
"What flaw is that?"
"A very small one," Susan assured her friend. "Who's going to get Harry to go along with this?"
"That sounds like a job for Hermione," Hannah said authoritatively. "There's nothing she can't get Harry to do."
"Nothing Harry won't do for her," Susan corrected. "How are we going to get her to convince him?"
"Bribery?"
"With what?"
"Threats?"
"I'll let you deal with that, shall I?"
"By spinning some cock and bull story on how it will anger and insult idiots like Fudge?"
"By jove, Hannah, I think you've got it," Susan cheered.
"Elementary, my dear Susan," Hannah said smugly. "One might also point out the fact that Daphne and the other Slytherin girls used the excuse of a harem to prevent their families marrying them off to form political and business alliances."
"Of course, it's all so simple now."
"Shall we?"
"We shall," Susan agreed.
"After you," Hannah said politely.
"No, my dear, I insist, after you."
"Thank you, darling."
"Not at all, my dear, not at all."
Arm in arm, the two girls went off in search of Hermione Granger to tell the other girl of their latest scheme.
When they found her, Hermione was, as expected, in the library doing some research.
"Whatever it is, the answer is no," Hermione said firmly, not even bothering to look up from her book.
"It'll really annoy a bunch of pureblood idiots and help protect dozens of innocent girls from being used as pawns in political maneuvering," Susan said sweetly.
"What is it?" Hermione sighed, looking up at the two smiling girls.
"We want to go to the Yule ball as a group," Hannah explained. "As one of the champions, Harry is required to attend."
"What's the real reason?" Hermione demanded.
"It really will do what we mentioned before," Hannah said nervously.
"And?" Hermione prompted.
"And if we go as a group, then no one will bat an eye if Hannah and I spend the night dancing with each other," Susan said in defeat.
"Alright then," Hermione said, turning back to her book. "I'll arrange it."
"That's it?" Susan said in disbelief.
"That's it," Hermione agreed.
"Thank you, Hermione," Hannah said with a happy smile.
"Not at all, Hannah," Hermione replied. "Not at all."
IIIIIIIIII
The days leading to the dance showed that Hogwarts already unfavorable gender ratio had became hopelessly skewed after Harry's school had sucked up a large percentage of the unattached female population. A fact that was sadly apparent to the hordes of dateless boys stuck roaming the hallway in search of an available witch.
Desperate boys tried desperate acts in hopes that one of them would be enough to attract a receptive female. The results were mixed.
Mandy's eyes narrowed in rage as she listened to Draco dig himself deeper and deeper. "Just what kind of girl do you think I am?" she growled.
Draco tried to give the girl a charming smile. "I'm just saying that the Brocklehurst fortune isn't what it used to be, and that my family would be pleased to help you buy a suitable set of robes if you'll go to the dance with me."
She'd heard enough and slapped the idiot across the face as hard as she could. "There isn't enough gold in the world to tempt me to whore myself out to the likes of you," Mandy screamed, almost too enraged to speak. She punctuated her statement with several more slaps and a half dozen kicks when the Slytherin fell to the ground.
A crowd of shocked faces watched her every move.
"I'd rather join Potter's harem," she added with a sadistic smile. "Least he knows how to treat a girl." A thought formed. "And when he wakes up, you lot can tell him that he's the reason another witch was taken out of the Hogwarts dating market." Head held high, she marched out of the room towards Harry's wing of the castle.
"Me too," another girl said suddenly, a plan forming in her mind. "In fact, I'll be joining the harem too now that I've seen that there isn't a man here willing to defend a lady's honor."
Half a dozen more girls stormed out of the room after the first, making the chances of getting a date go from slim to almost none.
It goes without saying that many of the single boys were a bit vexed at the scion of the Malfoy family. The upside of that was the fact that young Draco no
longer needed a date to the ball as he wouldn't get out of the hospital wing until long after the last dance was danced and the last note played.
IIIIIIIIII
Hermione at his side, Harry sat down at the meeting table and did his best to ignore the way the Patil sisters in particular were eyeing him like a cat eyes a mouse.
"Hermione said you wanted to discuss opening relations with your countries?" Harry opened the meeting.
"We're not so much diplomats as a convenient backchannel," Padma explained, "at least in our case." She nodded towards her sister.
Parvati nodded in agreement. "Our instructions are to sound you out and see what we can glean of your long term plans. If they're to the interests of our nations then we can discuss giving you formal recognition at a later date. I'm not sure how their countries are handling it."
"Much the same way for me," Cho said, "with the understanding that I'll eventually be in charge of the mission if your island becomes important enough to rate an ambassador." She grinned at her housemate. "Not sure how the rebellious province is handling things."
"The same way," Su Li said softly.
Anthony Goldstein decided to join the discussion. "I've been instructed to find out one thing. My father wants to know what your foreign policy will be and how it will affect Israel, he also told me to be subtle."
Harry nodded to his chief advisor, indicating that she should answer the question.
"Live and let live," Hermione replied.
"That's it?" Anthony asked in disbelief.
"That's it," Harry agreed. "I'm building a new island because we want to be left alone."
"Sometimes people don't give you the option of being left alone," Anthony challenged.
"And we'll deal with those people when the time comes," Harry said firmly. "Unless and until that time comes, I'm not about to go looking for trouble."
"Fair enough," the other boy said quickly.
"Anyone else have any questions?" Hermione asked, making eye contact with everyone at the table.
"What does it take to join this dark harem of yours?" Su Li asked in a whisper. "My mother would like to know if it's true that you've crafted your own personal dark mark that you can use to reward your harem girls with indescribable pleasure."
"I don't have a dark mark," Harry replied. "And please don't tell that rumor to any of the girls." He really didn't want them getting any ideas.
"I won't, but I doubt it will matter. Likelihood is that no one is intelligent enough to figure it out anyway. Rumor has it that it took the Dark Lord years of research to make his," Su Li replied, noting with pleasure the girls listening at the door and the speculative gleam that had appeared in Hermione's eye.
"Any other questions?" Harry asked, wondering why he felt a sudden chill.
Outside the room, Daphne and Tracy shared a mischief filled look. That idea was way too amusing not to bring to reality.
IIIIIIIIII
Fleur checked her appearance for the hundredth time in a polished breast plate and did everything she could to psych herself up. It's for Gabrielle, she
thought to herself firmly, you can do anything for Gabrielle.
The part-Veela had stationed herself in Harry's corridor and was waiting for the boy to appear, hopefully alone.
The sound of voices alerted the girl that her target was approaching, he had company. Pity, but you can't have everything. Fleur put a sultry smile on her face and reclined against the wall.
"May I 'ave a moment of your time, 'Arrie?" Fleur asked with a dazzling smile.
"Sure," Harry agreed.
"Could we do it alone?" Fleur asked with a pout, leaning forward to give the boy a good view of her cleavage.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Hermione growled, shooting the older girl a glare.
"Why don't you mind your own business, little girl?" Fleur shot the younger girl a venom filled glare of her own.
"What do you want to meet about?" Harry asked before Hermione could form her reply.
"I 'ave been 'earing rumors," Fleur explained. She pouted her lips and began playing with her hair. "And I was 'oping very much that you could explain them to me."
"What sort of rumors?" Harry placed a restraining hand on Hermione's shoulder.
"Are you really planning on raising an island to rule, 'Arrie?" She grabbed his hand and began tracing little circles on his palm.
"Yes I am," Harry agreed. "Why do you ask?"
"I was 'oping that you would take some more time out of your schedule to discuss it with me later," Fleur whispered in a husky voice. "Alone."
"It'd be best to have my friends there if you want to know everything important," Harry replied. Any possible double meaning sailing right over the boy's head.
"There's so much going on that I can't keep track of everything myself."
"That's right," Hermione agreed smugly. "I think I could fit in a meeting with you in a couple months, maybe." She gave Harry a discreet wink.
"What are we doing right now?" Harry asked. "Anything that can't be pushed back an hour or so?"
"No," Hermione said reluctantly. Curse that boy's obliviousness.
"Come on then, Fleur. I'll introduce you to everyone and then we can get down to business."
"Alright, 'arrie," Fleur agreed, already reassessing the boy. If even half the rumors she'd heard about him were true then he'd have stopped at nothing to add a quarter Veela to his harem. The fact that he'd ignored most of the innuendo and invitation was a definite point in his favor. She followed him and the other girl through into their wing of the castle.
"Okay, Fleur. First we have Luna, next to her is Hannah and Susan. Daphne and Tracy are the two girls over in the corner looking mysterious and probably plotting against me. And of course, you've met Hermione in the hall. What can I do for you?"
"I 'ave 'eard that you are raising an island country and I was 'oping to learn more about that," Fleur replied.
"Hermione."
"Yes, Harry." Hermione sighed. "It's in the South Pacific, climate is temperate to warm. Freshwater is a problem at the moment but it shouldn't be by the time we start moving in. Anything else you want to know?'
"I 'ave 'eard that it is possible for a girl to bring 'er family to the island," Fleur prompted.
"It is," Harry agreed.
"Does one really 'ave to join a 'arem to secure a place for their family?" Fleur asked intently. "And once in the 'arem, is it possible for a girl to keep 'er sister
out of it?"
"That rumor again," Susan giggled.
"There's no harem," Hermione said firmly.
"But . . . ." Fleur looked lost. "Why are you recruiting so many 'arem girls then?"
Susan and Hannah giggled while Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose.
"It's in several of the settlement agreements so that the girls in question won't be forced to marry for business or political reasons mostly. Different girls have different reasons for claiming it," Harry answered calmly.
"I see."
"Any other questions?"
"Yes." Fleur's eyes were blazing. "This new land of yours," Fleur barked, "ould the laws equally apply to me?"
"What do you mean?" Harry asked in confusion.
"Could a man . . . is veela allure a valid de-fence?" she demanded. "Or will the law prosecute offenders to zee fullest extent."
"I still don't understand?" Harry said slowly. "I . . ."
"May I?" Susan asked.
Fleur gave a harsh nod in reply.
"She's asking if, well . . . let's say a man bothered her. Would he be able to claim that he did it because of her allure or would he be arrested and tried the
same way he'd be if he bothered me?"
"Of course he would be," Harry growled, "has someone been bothering one of you?" The air around him shimmered from barely leashed power.
"It was just a hypothetical situation," Hannah assured her friend, "right Fleur?"
"For me," Fleur agreed, "but not for my cousin. She . . . she did not take it well after the pig was released from jail and she . . ." the girl took several deep
breaths. "I just wish to find a safe place for myself and Gabrielle."
"Done," Harry agreed. "Was there anything else you wanted?"
"Zat was all for now, thank you for your time, 'arrie." Fleur gave the boy a dazzling smile.
"No problem, Fleur."
The French girl leaned in and gave Harry a soft kiss on the cheek. "Have you figured out the next task yet, 'arrie?"
"Hermione?"
"We've been busy with other things," the girl replied with a blush. "But we'll get right on it if you want, Harry."
"If you 'old the egg underwater then it will become comprehensible. The task is to retrieve something form the bottom of the lake," Fleur said, her arms still around Harry's shoulders. "I shall take my leave now, please ask at the carriage if you wish anything from me."
"We will," Harry agreed. "And you're welcome to stop by anytime."
"Thank you, 'arrie." There was a bounce in Fleur's step that hadn't been there when she'd first staked out Harry's corridor. Gabrielle would be safe and she did not have to become a common harlot to insure it. Although, Fleur touched her lips. He did seem like such a decent boy, perhaps it was worth waiting to see what sort of man he became.
IIIIIIIIII
Harry spent the weeks leading up to the ball expanding the island and learning to dance since the girls were insistent that it was an important skill for a
headmaster to posses. It was horrible, perhaps it would have been better if any of his instructors had any clue of how to dance themselves. As it was, Harry's feet had been stomped on so many times that he was beginning to fear permanent damage.
It was therefore something of a relief when the Ball finally came, it meant that he only had to suffer through one more day of dancing, and stomped feet,
before he could begin the long recovery process.
Dozens of envious eyes belonging to dozens of dateless boys followed Harry and his retinue into the Great Hall as everyone took their places for the dance.
"Mind if I join you for the first dance, 'arrie?" Fleur asked hopefully. "I am told that it is compulsory and I am afraid that none of the unattached boys at 'ogwarts or Durmstrang meet my 'igh standards."
"Sure, Fleur," Harry agreed. "I guess there's room for one more."
"Thank you so much, 'arrie," Fleur said warmly. The girl licked her lips. "If there is room for one more, is there room for ten more? My friends are also without suitable dates."
"Alright," Harry laughed. "Bring them over, the more the merrier."
The students of the fourth school took their places as the first dance began. Several of the girls clustered around Harry in one disorganized undulating mob, while others danced by themselves or with one of the other girls. Chief among the last category were Hannah and Susan who had elected to share a slow intimate waltz.
IIIIIIIIII
Dumbledore smiled as he watched the mass of students below, the children seemed happy and all was right in the world.
"Perhaps it's time I lent Headmaster Potter a new set of books," he mused. It would be much easier to teach the boy to raise an island if he already had the
necessary background. "Maybe have Minerva make a few suggestions to Ms. Granger." Seemed to be the most efficient way to do things.
IIIIIIIIII
It was with a great sense of relief that Harry danced the last dance and began the trip back to his wing of the castle. Unfortunately, that sense of relief did not last long. Later that night, the girls while expressing how much fun they had at the ball, insisted that there would be one every year on the new island. Harry's feet started to throb in anticipation.
IIIIIIIIII
Sirius' tail was waging at great speed as he hid under one of the tables at the Three Broomsticks listening to the gossip. His godson had a harem composed of every witch at Hogwarts and half the ones at the two foreign schools. When one coupled that with the one about Snape accidentally castrating himself because he'd been storing his wand in his front pocket . . . well, let's just say that Sirius had a happy memory that no dementor could take.
'Got to see Harry soon,' Sirius thought to himself. 'Gotta make sure that there's some truth to the harem rumor, and if there isn't, gotta make sure there will be!'
And after that, he'd see about the Snape rumor. Such a thing was also way too good not to be true.
IIIIIIIIII
Hermione woke up early the next morning and was generous enough to allow Harry the chance to sleep in a bit. At ten, she walked into his room, threw open the curtains, and prodded the boy with her wand till he started to move. Sleeping in was all well and good, but they had work to do.
"I'm up," Harry groaned.
"Good, I need you to look over my proposed plans, Luna needs you for a task that only makes sense to her, and Snuffles wants to have a meeting. I've
penciled him in for lunch and had Dobby prepare a picnic, if that's alright with you."
"It's fine," Harry agreed. "Could you have Dobby pack extra food?"
"Dobby has packed enough for Snuffles to eat for a week," Hermione assured her friend. "Speaking of Snuffles, I've got a plan to deal with his situation."
"Oh?"
"You remember how I told you we could grant him asylum?"
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "The problem was keeping him away from England, not finding some place safe."
"I think I found a way to do that," Hermione said with a smile. "It's a bit . . . just promise to pretend that you thought of it yourself if anyone asks later, okay?"
"I promise," Harry agreed.
Two minutes later, Luna walked in wearing a pair of fins on her feet and a helmet made out of a watermelon.
"Come, Harry, we have work to do!" she declared, striking a dramatic pose.
"Right behind you, Luna," Harry replied grandly. One thing about adding the Lovegood to his collection, it meant that life never got too predictable.
IIIIIIIIII
Sirius jumped up and threw his arms around his godson the second the door opened. It was good to be with the boy again, and more than a bit worrying that he smelled a bit fruity. Another thing they were going to have to speak about.
'Maybe it was because of the harem?' The thought blazed through his mind. 'It had to be okay to smell like a female if it was because of a large amount of
close contact with a group of them.'
"Mumph!" Harry replied, sounding remarkably like an angry girl.
"What was that, Harry?" Sirius asked.
"I'm not Harry," Hermione growled. "Now let me go!"
"Where's Harry?" Sirius demanded.
"He got delayed," Hermione replied. "He'll be here as soon as he can."
"What delayed him?" Sirius barked. The man's stolen wand appeared in his hand, pity the poor bastards that were delaying his godson because Sirius Black never would.
"Luna needed his help with something," Hermione replied.
"Is Luna one of the girls in the harem?" Sirius asked intently, wand disappearing. It was fine to be late if it was due to frolicking with his harem girls, in fact he insisted his godson not cut his frolicking short for something as unimportant as a meeting with his godfather.
"I . . . sort of, how do you know about the harem?" Hermione stammered.
"How many girls are in it? More than ten?"
"More than ten," Hermione agreed. "I've got a list somewhere that . . ."
"I heard one of them was part veela," Sirius interrupted.
"That would be Fleur," Hermione replied. "She . . ."
"Is she going to bring more veela with her?"
"She's going to bring her younger sister and she said that some of her cousins . . ." Hermione said slowly, taking a step to put some distance between her and the obviously unhinged man.
"My godson is so manly!" Sirius bellowed. The man started dancing a jig while whooping in gleeful exuberance.
"Um . . . right," Hermione agreed. "I . . ." she cut off at the sound of footsteps. "That must be Harry, I'll just leave you two alone, shall I?" She rushed out of the room, nearly knocking Harry over in her haste.
"Harry!" Sirius shouted, throwing his arms around his godson. "You don't know how proud I am of you."
"Thanks?" Harry wiggled free. "Got something for you."
"What is it?" Sirius asked eagerly.
"Here." Harry handed his godfather a telescope.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" Sirius asked with a grin. "Did you put ink on it so it would look like I had a black eye? Cause that's kids stuff."
"It's a portkey to your house on my island," Harry replied.
"I'm not leaving," Sirius replied instantly, going from comic to serious in an instant. "Not while you're in that bloody tournament!"
"Law says that your house is your house so long as you live in it till the end of the year. You don't, anyone can take it and keep it for themselves," Harry continued, ignoring Sirius' proclamation.
"So let them have it!" Sirius growled. "You're more important than any house."
"The house is on top of a large cliff over looking a beach," Harry said with a grin. "The beach is clothing optional."
"Clothing optional you say?" Sirius asked with a grin, seriousness melting away.
"Not too many witches on the island at the moment, but there will be a lot of them in a couple months," Harry promised. "Including a good number of veela."
"Good number of Veela?" Sirius squeaked. Good number implied more than one, he hoped it implied more than a hundred too.
"Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, witches and veela in the future means boredom now." Harry grinned. "And that's why I had Dobby empty out all the contraband stored in all the offices at Hogwarts and it's all in your new house just waiting for someone to go through it all."
"Contraband?" Sirius gasped. That was one of his favorite words.
"Whiskey, pranking supplies, mountains of pornography," Harry listed off a few things. Oddly enough, those were some of the other words on Sirius' list of favorites.
"And it's all for me?" Sirius had tears in his eyes. "Harry . . . I . . . you're the best godson a guy could prank his best friend into accidentally having."
"What?" Harry asked dumbly.
"I switched some of Lily's birth control pills out with Dumbledore's candies, served James right for saying that I needed to grow up," Sirius explained. "Now gimme that portkey." Watching the 'leader of the light' grow breasts was the other thing that made the prank so enjoyable.
"You did what now?" Harry asked. Surely he couldn't have just heard what he thought he'd just heard, right?
"Portkey, now!" Sirius snatched it out of his godson's hands. "I'll write Remus, he should be arriving to keep an eye on you soon. Sirius away!" With that,
Harry's godfather disappeared.
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